Episode 513 - Jack Parsons II

MARCUS PARKS

I don't know if it's because of all the Thelema we've been reading but I had a dream last night that me and Carolina were in a trouble with a young James Caan.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I mean that really does fit.

BEN KISSEL

What a lucky young James Caan.

MARCUS PARKS

But that's the thing, it was lucky for James Caan because I was the one that felt put out. You know how it happens? I felt a little put out of the whole thing.

BEN KISSEL

Okay fine, James. I'm just gonna go eat my chicken vindaloo alone.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Wait a second. But is this because he wouldn't let you fuck him?

MARCUS PARKS

No. No, no, no. They just seemed to be having a better time without me than they were-

BEN KISSEL

Yeah why did you dream that you were with another dude? I mean it's fine but-

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's not his fault, he doesn't know.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

It's his dream!

MARCUS PARKS

I don't choose what I dream about. It's Thelema. And in Thelema there's a lot of those MMF situations happening.

BEN KISSEL

Okay.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

There absolutely is.

MARCUS PARKS

A lot of spitroasting. A lot of spitroasting.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It is very difficult to be a magician because one of the singular most difficult things I think truly is to be able to sit in a fairly stuffy room surrounded by a group of people in robes and remain hard.

BEN KISSEL

Okay.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Because that is one of the trials of one of the steps of the OTO is literally you must enter into the circle rude published, that is what they called it. And then you have to maintain it which is very difficult for me because again I love to perform but not when it's intimate.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Tough day to be a janitor. Welcome to Last Podcast on the Left everyone. I am Ben hanging out with Marcus, the newly horned up Marcus by the way, looking at James Caan's young tushy, and Henry Zebrowski.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

So you were watching them have sex with each other?

MARCUS PARKS

Not at all. I don't know. I said nothing in my statement to imply that.

BEN KISSEL

You said there was a throuple!

MARCUS PARKS

A throuple, yeah. A throuple, not necessarily a threesome. A throuple is different from a threesome.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh. So you were the boring part?

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You were doing the everybody sitting around figuring out what we're gonna watch on Netflix in a trifecta together?

MARCUS PARKS

Yes!

BEN KISSEL

Ooh that's hard.

MARCUS PARKS

The throuple, I'm talking about a throuple. That's why I said throuple, not threesome. No, it was a throuple.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

And then at the end of it an old girlfriend from high school, this really Christian girl, she got a hold of me and was like, 'Hey I hear you're having some troubles, you want to get together?' I'm like I don't want that either.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You know what I find interesting? You know in our dreams, everybody you see is you.

BEN KISSEL

Indeed, that's the case. And of course a throuple, that's what I call my air, land, and sea, my fish filet chicken breast sandwich and good old beef. Okay.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Technically that's already called a McGangBang. That's already been done.

BEN KISSEL

McGangBang.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Fantastic. All right everyone, we're onto Jack Parsons Part 2.

MARCUS PARKS

So when we last left Jack Parsons the year was 1939 and he'd just been introduced to the Los Angeles occult scene in the form of the Agape Lodge of the OTO founded by Aleister Crowley. At the same time he was also making seismic breakthroughs in the scientific world through his work in rocketry.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And can they be uncoupled? I submit that they cannot.

BEN KISSEL

Okay.

MARCUS PARKS

But by 1939 the term 'rocket' was seen as a purely science fiction term. Put another way, it would be like if we developed faster than light technology but called it warp drive instead of the more scientific way of saying it, FTL.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But that's what I fucking hate. Just call it warp drive.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, just call it warp drive.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I think that's the problem though and then Trump did it with Space Force and then you're like ugh, it's fun that it's Space Force but they don't do anything.

BEN KISSEL

Right.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

They just got a new flag.

BEN KISSEL

All right.

MARCUS PARKS

And it's stupid.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Well they're blowing stuff up.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. So to shed the science fiction connotations, the Jack Parsons crew at Caltech, the so- called Suicide Squad, they decided to change the name of their technology.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Magic.

MARCUS PARKS

Instead of calling them rockets, Parsons and the rest would from then on refer to this new technology as-

BEN KISSEL

Metal hot dogs.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Perfect.

MARCUS PARKS

Jet technology.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Jets.

BEN KISSEL

Jet technology. Okay. Jets.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And then they all got together and they faced off against those Puerto Ricans, they had the rumble.

BEN KISSEL

That's the Jets and the Sharks, my friend. That is... Now I forgot what it is.

MARCUS PARKS

West Side Story.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

West Side Story.

BEN KISSEL

West Side Story.

MARCUS PARKS

However this technology was not shooting towards the stars just yet in 1939. WWII had already begun and conflict in one way or another was obviously on the horizon for the United States. So the Suicide Squad was given funding from the government to develop Jet-Assisted Take Off for their fighter and cargo planes. This technology was known as JATO.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Cool.

MARCUS PARKS

And the Suicide Squad became America's first government sanctioned rocket research group. I'm gonna be using the term JATO a lot over this series.

BEN KISSEL

Okay.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes. So just get used to it.

BEN KISSEL

JATO. And what does it stand for again?

MARCUS PARKS

Jet-Assisted Take Off. That's why I'm reiterating.

BEN KISSEL

JATO.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Thank you, yes.

BEN KISSEL

J-A-T-O.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's the evil cousin of Kato.

BEN KISSEL

He did too much meth to fall asleep.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He was outside of the pool house.

BEN KISSEL

Oh okay.

MARCUS PARKS

So after almost blowing themselves up on the Caltech campus with a twin set of explosions when an oxygen line caught fire and ignited a tank of ethylene, the Suicide Squad asked the government for a budget of $100,000.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Hey!

BEN KISSEL

That's nothing.

MARCUS PARKS

They got 10.

BEN KISSEL

Oh good.

MARCUS PARKS

But were still overjoyed that someone was finally taking them seriously. And they'd honestly sort of high balled it a little bit. You ask for a lot, you get a little.

BEN KISSEL

I've seen Shark Tank.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's important to do.

MARCUS PARKS

In fact Parsons and his crew believed that they had been immediately welcomed into the higher ranks of scientific society because just after they'd received funding, they were invited to do a formal dinner at Caltech. They're in the big leagues.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

We're going to war, we're getting chicken.

BEN KISSEL

This is really exciting. Good broccoli too.

MARCUS PARKS

However Frank Malina, one of their crew, discovered that the Suicide Squad had actually been invited to the fancy dinner due to a clerical error but frank didn't have the heart to tell the rest of the crew that they'd only been invited by accident.

BEN KISSEL

Who cares? If you're invited by accident you're still invited. I think that's how we got invited to Heidi Klum Halloween party. I'm not going to tell her that we're invited because as soon as they find out then you're off the list.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

A W is a W in all areas of life. Never question, just show up.

BEN KISSEL

Absolutely. Show up. You were invited.

MARCUS PARKS

So after months of testing different powder formulas in huts made of corrugated iron in the Arroyo Seco where the temperatures regularly hit 100°, Parsons made a breakthrough that got the crew closer to JATO, Jet-Assisted Take Off.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah. That's what it stands for.

BEN KISSEL

JATO.

MARCUS PARKS

So the government doubled his group's funding in 1940.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah man.

MARCUS PARKS

But just as Parsons was breaking new ground in the field of rocketry, he was also immersing himself in the works of Aleister Crowley.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Mr. Crowley!

MARCUS PARKS

And he was well on his way to discovering knowledge that he believed would allow him to change the fabric of reality.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Because not only was it 'Konx Om Pax' that was a book that inspired him which we talked a little bit last week which is what Aleister Crowley views as one of the fundamental books that one must read in order to become a Minerval inside of the OTO.

BEN KISSEL

A Minerval?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, that's what the initiates are called.

BEN KISSEL

A Minerval?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

A Minerval!

BEN KISSEL

Oh my.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But he was also obsessed with a book called 'Darker Than You Think' which was by Jack Williamson and it's about what? Were-people.

BEN KISSEL

Were-people.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Anybody that can turn into an animal. It's a secret society that has fostered doubt in werewolves, right, so that they could go back and hide, right. Because they staged the witch hunts of the 1800s, right. Saying look, we got all the witches and all the werewolves, we got them all.

BEN KISSEL

They were LARPing.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes. No but they were werewolves. And then they went into hiding so they could go and plan their next move so they can come back and take over the world. But he got really into this concept of shapeshifting, right. There was something about this. And the fact that the lead woman in the book was a big bosomed, flaming red-haired, green-eyed woman that would become as we see-

MARCUS PARKS

The scarlet woman.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes. His obsessions as things went on. But now we're seeing him in what I call his like neophyte phase.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Where he is starting to understand the processes of magical thinking and ritual and he is getting obsessed with it because at the same time not only is it personally fulfilling, it's inspiring, but it's getting him out of the world of all these stuffy scientists and getting them into the world of all this hot ass bush.

BEN KISSEL

All right. So now you feel better getting that off your chest.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's one thing.

BEN KISSEL

All right, fantastic. A merval sounds like an otter that doesn't like to swim.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He's been saving.

BEN KISSEL

He's a typical merval.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Minerval.

BEN KISSEL

He's a typical Minerval.

MARCUS PARKS

Now concerning Aleister Crowley, perhaps the most important concept in his belief system Thelema is that of will which again is not necessarily how we think of will.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Sure.

MARCUS PARKS

It's not the will to succeed or the will to survive. Rather will in Thelemic terms is more destiny combined with purpose.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And again this is more of your interpretation. Will, as you'll discover the more and more you read it, the more and more you understand that it is a constant shifting deciphering of will and what that means on any different level. It is both a practical level, just straight up it is my will to be the hottest Scottish-Polish NBA player that they've ever seen, right?

BEN KISSEL

Well that's not possible.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Exactly. But that's just one of my wills, right. Then you find out what lines up-

BEN KISSEL

Shouldn't it be in the realm of possibility?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's the idea is that what your true will may be, also maybe. Because think about it, was it really in the realm of possibility for any one of us to be professionals in the entertainment industry? I don't fucking know.

BEN KISSEL

Well I think so.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Not necessarily. We were born way outside of it. None of us had institutional connections. What do we see? Mostly people who make an entertainment or people that are born in money and in magic.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah but it would be like if we didn't have any mouths or eyes or ears or feet or hands.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You gotta be super talented then.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, that's true.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You gotta be the torso man.

MARCUS PARKS

I had like two fortune tellers telling me when I was a kid that I was gonna do well in entertainment. So I got that.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's because they were just trying to molest you. That's different.

BEN KISSEL

No.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But again it's more about like these concepts are moving and shifting.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

So it really depends on what aligns with you. And with Jack Parsons as soon as he discovered this, because we talked about last episode he was such a headstrong motherfucker, that he was like ah yes I know my will.

MARCUS PARKS

I mean my interpretation still holds I think. Destinies change, purposes change.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

And in Thelemic thought, every person has a true will or purpose that should be pursued to the exclusion of all else. And of course that can change, purposes change, goals change. And Crowley theorized that much of the world's problems came from people not following their true will. And perhaps from Henry's interpretation that might be not recognizing when your will has changed, holding onto something far longer than you should.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Exactly.

BEN KISSEL

Or it's like a dude named Minerval who was born with his foot backwards but also became an NFL kicker.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But again, learn how to use it, understood. I need to do football backwards.

BEN KISSEL

So he kicks it backwards.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yep.

BEN KISSEL

Like a horse.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's something else, that's something different. JATO. That is JATO.

BEN KISSEL

JATO it is. All right, I'm getting it now.

MARCUS PARKS

Now I think the concept of true will, I think it holds true for some people and it isn't true at all for others. Although I'll admit that the older I get, even since we did our Aleister Crowley series, the more of the concept of true will really does make a lot of sense to me.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Because it's on you to mine yourself, the raw material of your spirit, to find what the will is. And that's the thing, it's on you to do it.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

I'mma go make some raw material right now.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

See? Again, the man is of chicken wing, right. Ben Kissel's will is mostly centered around chicken wing issues and chicken wing politics, right.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

What's in that world. And in that Kissel's expressing his Bud Light will.

MARCUS PARKS

Right.

BEN KISSEL

That is true. As a matter of fact on Sunday I did get a little bit too drunk and I was like chicken wings, why do they call them chicken wings when they're actually chicken feet?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That is just completely utterly incorrect.

BEN KISSEL

No, there's no way, they have to be the wing. And I was convinced for 30 seconds they were feet. Isn't that weird?

MARCUS PARKS

No. Well you can buy chicken feet. Have you never been to a grocery store?

BEN KISSEL

No, I know.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I'm so confused.

BEN KISSEL

I fought all over myself with this.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

We've known each other for so long.

BEN KISSEL

For some reason I was like why would they call chicken wings chicken wings when they're feet? And then i was like no, that's wrong.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's in the name of the food!

BEN KISSEL

I know. I was questioning everything.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Wow.

MARCUS PARKS

It was like last night when I texted Henry at like 1 in the morning feeling like an idiot because I finally figured out that the reason why the Scottish water creature the Kelpie, the seahorse, the Kelpie is called a Kelpie because of kelp. It's underwater.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Cause of fucking seaweed!

BEN KISSEL

Oh, intriguing indeed.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. And Henry texted back 'we are dumb as shit'.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, yeah, man. Because Kelpie is also the name of the unhelpful Starbucks barista.

BEN KISSEL

I love Kelpie.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's the modern interpretation.

BEN KISSEL

I love kelp.

MARCUS PARKS

Well Jack Parsons, he was getting into Crowley's teaching so deeply that he began to consider Thelema itself as his true will. Rocketry was not his true will, Thelema was his true will, the true student. As such Jack and Helen were initiated into the Agape Lodge of the OTO on February 15, 1941 with Jack taking this as his motto. Henry, please.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

"The establishment of Thelema through the rituals of love."

BEN KISSEL

Oh that's nice.

MARCUS PARKS

I mean it's he's basically stating his intention to fuck his way through a lot of magic.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

As I was going through this process again, right, because when we did the Aleister Crowley series I also went insane and now I'm back in it.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I sent Marcus some really funky ass Thelema jazz.

MARCUS PARKS

I'm waiting. I'm waiting because next week is when we're truly going to get into the magic stuff, I'm waiting for then so I don't mix the science and the jazz too much.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I wish I could play some for you now.

BEN KISSEL

Can we play it next episode please? Next episode we'll get into the jazz.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

(moaning) It's just humping music, right. It's humping music.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And you know what it is, man? Is that we're caught up on our fucking bullshit.

BEN KISSEL

I agree.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Because we talk about yeah, he's fucking his way through magic. But he just understood what if fucking became my life?

BEN KISSEL

Nothing wrong with that.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Not only is fucking the center of my life but then I can figure out the sort of personal power attached to it. Fuck rockets. I've been blowing up since I was 9! I've been doing this a long time and now I'm like wait a second, now I can fuck and wear a wizard cap and do the whole fucking... All of the pageantry? Like the idea of doing those rituals and walking into a room and you're blindfolded and a man with a robe is pulling you in there and then there's a nude woman there and she's gonna suck you not til you come cause you gotta save it. It's incredible!

BEN KISSEL

Edging. Edging indeed. And fuck rocket is a fantastic new dildo product.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

It's a great one by Linda Lovelace.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

She's been dead for years.

BEN KISSEL

No, she's not. Wasn't she the one that had the clitoris in her throat?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's Deep Throat, yes.

BEN KISSEL

That was Linda Lovelace though.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He refuses to learn. He refuses to engage with the material.

BEN KISSEL

I think that was Linda Lovelace.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

She's dead, she's been dead since 2002. She has been dead.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Okay fine.

MARCUS PARKS

I think you're thinking of...

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That is Debbie Does Dallas, he is correct. But Debbie Does Dallas comes from like 1972.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah but that was Linda Lovelace.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes.

BEN KISSEL

What a story there.

MARCUS PARKS

Anyway, I think yeah, it's all this talking about fucking his way through magic, it's not bad, I'm not poo-pooing it at all. It is a good excuse to live a lifestyle that's stinky and sweaty in all the best ways. But Jack Parsons was a true believer in Thelemic principles. He's not just doing it, yes it's fun, that's great, that's a great side.

BEN KISSEL

Sure.

MARCUS PARKS

That is definitely a great side effect.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He understood.

MARCUS PARKS

But he's doing it because he believes in it.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He understood it's one package. And that it's all one, all of it. And who he was is that he was just an egg and now he need to crack the egg and become a chicken.

BEN KISSEL

Oh exciting.

MARCUS PARKS

Well once Jack Parsons was a part of the Lodge he increased the membership, started giving talks about the OTO in his own home, and began to think of the OTO as his family which would prove to be a grave mistake later on.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Okay.

MARCUS PARKS

And so Parsons split his time between JATO tests and the OTO. And he would spend his off time in the desert unwinding the way a guy who splits his time between highly dangerous experimental rocketry and sex magic might do.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Cool.

BEN KISSEL

Scrabble.

MARCUS PARKS

No, I don't know. I don't know the name of the game that him and Ed Forman used to play. I mean maybe it's called like shoot gun or almost die.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah. What is this?

BEN KISSEL

I can see him being a board game guy.

MARCUS PARKS

They'd stand 50 yards apart from each other, take handguns, and then just fire them at each other to see who could get the closest to the other guy without hitting him with a bullet.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah dude.

BEN KISSEL

Well what if they hit him?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He'd get shot. But man, this thing is he's not a board game guy. This is the freakiest, wildest motherfucker you would ever meet. You wouldn't want him nowhere near your girlfriend.

BEN KISSEL

Oh wow.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

At this point, this time, because everything's taken off and he's getting super slippery with it and all the magic and shit.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Man, I love this motherfucker.

BEN KISSEL

They can have sex with my girlfriend, her name is Minervala and she's fantastic.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

She needs to do the reading.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, absolutely. She has ears where her eyes are supposed to be and you should see where her eyes are.

MARCUS PARKS

But the thing about the OTO is that it did interfere with Jack's day job. One time he stayed up far too late partying, reading poetry, playing records with all his magical buddies.

BEN KISSEL

Aw that's nice.

MARCUS PARKS

It's a nice night. But he was super hungover because he really liked absinthe.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

And made his own absinthe.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Hey man, fucking keeps you wiggly, man.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

It's a strong one.

MARCUS PARKS

So the next morning because he was so hungover he rushed through a countdown and it caused a huge explosion.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's the thing.

BEN KISSEL

Wait a second, how do you... Okay, you count down. How did he rush through it?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He's was just like all right, let's go. 5-4-3-2-1. All right, who's got it? Who's got it? Put it up there!

BEN KISSEL

Like Tommy Wiseau directing The Room but he knew the rental was only good for 15 more minutes?

MARCUS PARKS

Well I think with the countdown, I might be talking completely out of my ass here but I'm extrapolating from knowledge that I've learned about rockets over the last couple of weeks.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Cool.

MARCUS PARKS

I think part of the point of a countdown is not just to like let everyone know that the rocket's about to go off so they can look, I think there's a lot of preparations that you're doing during the countdown.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Right.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, putting pressure in the oscillator.

MARCUS PARKS

Timing, yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And then yeah, fire up the gribble gobble and then get Ted off his sandwich.

BEN KISSEL

Absolutely.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Hey Ted, you're sitting on a sandwich. And he's like ugh, my lunch!

BEN KISSEL

Get off of the sandwich.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. But if you just go like 5-4-3-2-1 fucking do it.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Fucking go, get it going.

BEN KISSEL

It's not about the numbers so much as the actions.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's not so much like when we show up hungover we just ruin a week of content.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Well technically some of our best episodes have been hungover.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Some. But again, freedom is a two-edged sword.

BEN KISSEL

Yes.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Because sometimes it's the other side.

MARCUS PARKS

Many of our worst.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But that's the thing is that when he shows up hungover, he blows shit up.

BEN KISSEL

Right, yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

However Parsons' involvement in the OTO was a double-edged sword.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Is a candle good or evil?

BEN KISSEL

Neutral. Ooh, sandalwood.

MARCUS PARKS

Because while it did sometimes cause them to make mistakes, the intellectual exercise of studying Thelema seemed to unlock some previously inaccessible part of his intellect. Or so the legend goes.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It is inspiring.

BEN KISSEL

It is.

MARCUS PARKS

Now by the time Pearl Harbor was bombed in December of 1941, the JATO systems developed by the Suicide Squad were still showing positive returns. So the research took on a new urgency. Now even though Parsons had proved that Jet-Assisted Take Off, JATO, could work,
he hadn't yet found a fuel formula that didn't fail 30% of the time. And you can't send that shit out into the battlefield.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Not yet.

BEN KISSEL

Well it depends what you care about your soldiers.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

I mean if it's Vietnam then yeah, fuck it.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Let's see how it works in the jungle.

BEN KISSEL

Pearl Harbor, everyone knows it was a PSYOP, dude.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

We let it happen. We let it happen, bro. We gotta do that episode.

MARCUS PARKS

It's a lot more complicated than that. It's so much more complicated than that.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

FDR could jump. But he couldn't walk. That's what's weird is that he could jump.

BEN KISSEL

Really? Wow.

MARCUS PARKS

But then after working with this formula that didn't work 30% of the time, an idea sprung from his unconsciousness that changed the course of humanity.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I'mma go!

BEN KISSEL

Uh oh, he's gonna go.

MARCUS PARKS

See Parsons had been working with black powder for the JATO test to no avail and liquid fuel was still too volatile for what the military wanted. But according to the legend, Parsons finally made the breakthrough to replace black powder with something else after seeing workmen spread hot asphalt on a roof.

BEN KISSEL

Oh god.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And this is where weed helps science. I mean this.

BEN KISSEL

Sure.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Sometimes you're just spacing out, we were just joking about this before the show about how yes sometimes it looks like we're not working because what we're doing is called executive time.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Where you're sitting and you're just thinking, you're just thinking about what could you do?

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Right? And you wonder.

BEN KISSEL

We're working.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I want to move forward, what should I do? I need to put this down in my calendar, executive time. This was his executive time, watching a bunch of guys slave on the roof as he's just smoking doobies and he's just like holy fucking shit.

BEN KISSEL

What a horrible job that is. They were putting asphalt on a roof?

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, they were doing the tar on the roof.

MARCUS PARKS

Tar on the roof, yeah.

BEN KISSEL

So it's hot as all shit. Oh my god.

MARCUS PARKS

It's a rough job, man.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's a hard job.

BEN KISSEL

That's who we should be talking about is those roofers.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah, finally.

BEN KISSEL

Thank you for all the roofers out there because we have a roof over our head because of them.

MARCUS PARKS

That's right.

BEN KISSEL

Chicken wings!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's the cardigans.

MARCUS PARKS

Now Ben, do you think in the future you'll write a book of chicken wings or a book about chicken wings? Because they're too very different things.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Is there a difference? Chicken wings is a two-boned food.

BEN KISSEL

It is a double-edged sword in many, many ways. No, actually sometimes I feel guilty for eating chicken wings. Sometimes I can't eat meat on the bone, it makes me feel guilty.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Hypocrite. That's a hypocrite.

BEN KISSEL

I was about to eat some ham yesterday and I put it in my mouth and I took it out.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

What?

BEN KISSEL

No, I mean I like pigs. I'm not eating ham because I feel like it tastes like human flesh.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Hey, you know, hey.

BEN KISSEL

It's a psychological thing. I've been talking about my love for pigs for three years and it's starting to build.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah. I am incorrect in saying Ben Kissel lives an unexamined life.

BEN KISSEL

It's examined.

MARCUS PARKS

It's highly examined, yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's true, it shows there's something in there.

BEN KISSEL

I don't know what's being examined.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I don't know.

BEN KISSEL

But it's examined.

MARCUS PARKS

The smell inside of the asphalt reminded Jack Parsons of a flaming liquid weapon used by the Byzantine Empire that was called Greek fire.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Greek fire. Nothing but hot Greek fires.

BEN KISSEL

Sweet.

MARCUS PARKS

Greek fire was a naval weapon that set enemy ships on fire by emitting jets of liquid fire from bronze tubes.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Tubes!

BEN KISSEL

Awesome.

MARCUS PARKS

Reputedly one could not extinguish Greek fire once it spread across your ship except by using sand, strong vinegar, or in one telling old urine which I guess points towards ammonia.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Old Urine is also the story of a dog that was shot as a puppy.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Because of its terrible name.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, it was too bad. He kept on throwing all the kids in the well. And it's like you're supposed to rescue them out of it.

MARCUS PARKS

But what made Greek fire truly fearsome and effective was the fact that it burned on water which made escape from an already burning ship impossible.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh man, smoke on the water.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, legitimately.

MARCUS PARKS

Fire on the water.

BEN KISSEL

Wow.

MARCUS PARKS

It also meant that Greek fire could reliably burn for long periods of time, reliably and steadily, consistently. Now no one knows exactly what Greek fire was made of because its recipe was a secret passed down through emperors. But it's theorized that it was either petroleum, saltpeter, sulfur, or naturally occurring asphalt.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Asphalt's naturally occurring?

MARCUS PARKS

I suppose so.

BEN KISSEL

I don't know. May I ask then why are we putting this on roofs? It seems highly flammable.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No, no, no. Actually I think that we're all incorrect. I think all three of us might be incorrect in a way but only about the asphalt.

BEN KISSEL

Are they putting a basketball court up there?

MARCUS PARKS

Asphalt in and of itself is not combustible. But if you mix asphalt with other things-

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's what you mix it with.

BEN KISSEL

It was just the smell. It was the smell that made him think about it.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. It's like bleach is fine and ammonia is fine but if you mix bleach and ammonia together you get mustard gas.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

I did not know that.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Absolutely.

MARCUS PARKS

It's chemistry. I'm talking about how chemistry works. I'm fucking explaining chemistry right now.

BEN KISSEL

Wow.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You have become a high school teacher to me and Kissel and both of us are just like oh yeah?

BEN KISSEL

Middle school. Middle school teacher.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Asphalt.

BEN KISSEL

Also he's a horrible teacher, he's teaching kids how to make mustard gas.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Don't go in the bathroom. Sorry, it's my asses fault.

MARCUS PARKS

See you know how to reach these kids.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I do know!

BEN KISSEL

That's cute though, asses fault.

MARCUS PARKS

So when Parsons saw those workmen spreading black asphalt on a Caltech roof, he grabbed a bucket of common roofing tar and added an oxidizer that allowed the tar to breathe and flame. There's about 40 or 50 more highly complicated scientific steps between that point and the endpoint. But before Parsons knew it he had created a fuel called GALCIT 53 which opened up a whole new category of rocket fuel, making solid propellants safer and more practical than the liquid propellants that tended to explode fairly easily and still tend to explode fairly easily. That fucking rocket that we launched off this morning almost exploded on the platform until the red squad went out and fixed the fuel leak.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But that is the excitement of science! And that you never know when you're a hero or your confetti. You never know!

MARCUS PARKS

And while this new category of rocket fuel would be used to fire ballistic missiles like Polaris, Poseidon, the Minuteman series, the descendants of GALCIT 53 would also propel space shuttles out of earth's orbit decades later.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I do find it magically interesting that one of the ways they figured out how to oxidize it was that when they put it in a tube, there's a space in the center of it that allows it to burn longer and that space is a five pointed star.

BEN KISSEL

Oh interesting.

MARCUS PARKS

Very interesting indeed, sir.

BEN KISSEL

You got it. You really brought a lot of science to it.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I will bring this whole thing to a fricking halt!

BEN KISSEL

Indeed it had halted.

MARCUS PARKS

Now Jack Parsons was only 27 years old when he made this discovery. But being 27 he was also making some extremely questionable decisions in his personal life, especially after he was fully under the freewheeling influence of the OTO.

BEN KISSEL

Well I will say this though. He's 27 in 1939 era which like inflation, it also affects age. So he's 43.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes. And he only has 10 more years of his life. I think that that's also very interesting because we talk about the three ages of man and magic and what we have seen up until this point, the first episode was his boy phase, he was this child, right. But now we're seeing him as man phase, phase face as he grows to fruition and his power.

BEN KISSEL

Okay, great.

MARCUS PARKS

Now when his wife Helen went on vacation in June of 1941 with her mother, Parsons began an affair with Helen's half sister Sara Northrup, who was just a hair under 18 years old.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Something about hitting 'hair' on that really sits different.

BEN KISSEL

All right.

MARCUS PARKS

Smidge? Just a smidge under 18 years old. Is that better?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Smidge sounds like yeah, this is my smidge right here. Yeah, I don't know how old she is. Don't ask her.

MARCUS PARKS

Well feisty, untamed, and somewhat cold, Sara greeted her sister Helen upon her return from vacation wearing Helen's clothes and saying, 'I'm Jack's wife now.'

BEN KISSEL

Oh she's Jack's wife now.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

In a cruelly candid letter, Jack told his wife that he began the affair with her half sister deliberately and would do it again because he preferred Sara sexually and he was better suited to her temperamentally.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You say cruelly candid, he did it in his version of this is the throuple that you dreamed about, right.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, James Caan.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Where it's cutting to the quick. And I had an actor once tell me, and it's true, if you wanna really do well in this business, you gotta be fucking. Right?

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And you gotta be fucking all the time. And magically-

MARCUS PARKS

I know which actor told you that.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You know exactly.

MARCUS PARKS

You didn't tell me but I know which actors you know and I know which actor told you that.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes, yes. Basically this idea, and it's true, as a magician you're way more powerful if you be fucking, right. And so with Helen, yeah Helen's great and all but Helen's Helen.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, he admitted that Helen's character was superior and he admitted that Sara would not have faced the hardships that Helen faced with Jack.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Definitely not. Definitely not.

BEN KISSEL

Right.

MARCUS PARKS

And he admitted, my god, she's not even anywhere near on the same level of woman as you are. But-

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I love you, Helen. I love you, Helen. But the thing is a man, a poet should be alive, be drunken in love, betrayed, hurt, lifted from pinnacle to pinnacle. She licks my asshole.

BEN KISSEL

yeah, that's basically all that means.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Well she's sexy and new.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And then again he's fucking somebody new and then it gives you a little pep in your step.

BEN KISSEL

I don't know why he kept it in the family like that.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

She was right there.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah but...

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It was a smidge!

BEN KISSEL

He works at a goddamn college.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, well. Yeah, technically. By this point he's starting to move out of the college and into the private sector.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes.

BEN KISSEL

Literally.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He's trying to create his Lodge.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. And actually as we'll get to here in just a second, the half sister was sort of the point. Now this is a pretty clear cut dick move but Jack Parsons was doing all of this with the encouragement and the sanction of the OTO who looked at marriage as a quote "detestable institution."

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Well that's technically Aleister Crowley's direct opinion of marriage but he was also married twice.

BEN KISSEL

Well that's why he thinks that.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, yeah. But the OTO then has rebranded since saying if it is your will, then get married.

MARCUS PARKS

Sure.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But again, magicians be fucking.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

What if I just beat you up, OTO? What if I just don't give a shit what you tell me?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's a whole organization. I mean yeah, that's the idea. They'd be like good, congrats. You're following your will.

BEN KISSEL

Thank you.

MARCUS PARKS

Well as for Aleister Crowley, He said people should marry for convenience and agree to go their separate ways without jealousy once it was over.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Why must there be divorce? It just sounds like a very divorced man's opinion.

BEN KISSEL

Sounds like someone who's listening to a heroin needle.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes.

MARCUS PARKS

And indeed Parsons saw his affair with Sara as a crucial step in his magical tutelage. He wrote that his passion for Sara gave him the magical force he needed at the time.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I need my magical force!

BEN KISSEL

Okay.

MARCUS PARKS

The juice. Because the act of adultery tinged with incest served as a magical confirmation in the law of Thelema somehow. Can you explain that to me, Henry?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Well it depends.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, explain why incest is good really quick.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

A tinge.

BEN KISSEL

A tinge.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

A smidge.

BEN KISSEL

45 seconds on why a smidge of incest is okay.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It is not. Well there is a little bit, the concept of transgressions, right. The idea that a transgressive act can fuck with the magic juju and give it to you strong. But technically the OTO And Aleister Crowley and Thelema specifically comes out against incest. Technically.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. But this was not incest because-

BEN KISSEL

Technically it seems like it doesn't.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's by marriage.

MARCUS PARKS

It's his wife's sister, that's why it's tinged with incest.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

A smidge of incest. It's a bit of a hair of incest. It's a hair of incest caught between your teeth.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh it's long. Grandma?

BEN KISSEL

What in the world?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But truly it's more about the fact that Sara will be down with the activities of the OTO and understand hey... Because I think Helen was like well no matter what, I'm your number one, right? I'm your number one. And he's like yeah baby, yeah baby.

BEN KISSEL

It'll all work out.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But then Jack Parsons at some point was like what if I had like five number ones? Right? But then you're all equal, you're like a team of rivals.

MARCUS PARKS

Helen, she was not some wilting flower.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No.

MARCUS PARKS

She didn't run away screaming. She was a full-fledged member of the OTO. She would be a true believer until the the day she died. Helen Parsons is extremely important to this organization.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Very much so.

MARCUS PARKS

So she stayed. And perhaps because Parsons was able to pull off such an impressive sister switcheroo, he began to gain a reputation in the organization. Specifically Crowley's second in command in the OTO, a German immigrant living in New York named Karl Germer, he was hearing good things about this young rocket scientist out in California who had the tiniest bit of celebrity and just the tiniest bit more money.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Oh that seems to matter the most.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Well very much so. A lot of organizations, they want their Tom Cruise.

MARCUS PARKS

Yes.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But again, what L. Ron Hubbard, the difference between the genius and the artist which we'll talk about next week, is he understood we do need funding.

BEN KISSEL

You do need funding.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And we do need some name recognition.

BEN KISSEL

Sure.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And Jack Parsons was just in the newspaper as the brand new Frankenstein's monster-looking guy that is ready for the fucking primetime, baby.

BEN KISSEL

Indeed. Sounds like he's more of the doctor.

MARCUS PARKS

Now Crowley's second in command, Karl Germer, he had an interesting story all of his own and he'd very much suffered for magic and had come out the other end still a believer. In 1937, just three years before Germer contacted Parsons, he'd been in Germany when Hitler banned all occult groups including the OTO.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

There's only room for one!

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. As a result, Germer had found himself in a concentration camp.

BEN KISSEL

Oh my goodness.

MARCUS PARKS

But he was eventually released and he immigrated to America.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

God, it's gotta be terrible to have ADHD in there.

BEN KISSEL

Henry, you are off the show. He's off the show, Marcus.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, you're done. You're done.

BEN KISSEL

He's off the show. That was so hacky.

MARCUS PARKS

You're done, that's it.

BEN KISSEL

That was so hacky, I'm upset!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It is my will!

MARCUS PARKS

I'm super upset.

BEN KISSEL

I just did a whole thing on chicken wings!

MARCUS PARKS

I'm super upset.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah I know, that's why you can't, you got nothing on my.

BEN KISSEL

We've been doing this for 12 fucking years, buddy. We are professional entertainers.

MARCUS PARKS

You've been doing comedy for like 20 years, long before we came along.

BEN KISSEL

Oh comedy! Even 30 years.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's the best part is that because I have this experience, everything I say is canon.

BEN KISSEL

No, it's not canon.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Everything I say-

BEN KISSEL

It needs to be shot out of a cannon and into space and never heard from again.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Whoa! Whoa now, whoa.

MARCUS PARKS

Well once Karl Germer arrived in America from the concentration camp, he was then harassed by the FBI for being a close associate of Aleister Crowley. Because if you'll remember, Crowley had spent all of WWI in America writing pro-German propaganda for fun and profit.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But he's a double double agent.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

whatever.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. Well he was was saying that he was writing things that were so ridiculous that it was actually making the Germans look bad.

BEN KISSEL

Oh yeah, that's how that works. I forgot.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. Eventually though, Germer settled into life in New York and was acting as Crowley's representative in America. He decided to act as a personal guru to Jack Parsons and implied that if Parsons accepted his tutelage, he would soon be introduced to Aleister Crowley himself.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Which would actually fit in because it's interesting during this time period, Jack Parsons, he was trying to become a more unquote "serious student" and there is a lot in the AA, not the OTO. So AA was Aleister Crowley's own specific brand of the OTO And it was just for him. But he viewed that as like Sea Org of the OTO, to put it in that level, right. Where the AA is what I have personal control over and you're supposed to meet a dude, right, you're supposed to have a guy that's supposed to be a handler that brings a neophyte into the AA. So at some point that's where Aleister Crowley, he says in a letter, "I wish to god I had Jack for six months, even three, with a hustle to train and will in discipline. He must understand the fine and fiery flashes of spirit come from the organization of matter, from the drilling of every function of every bodily organ until it has become so regular as to be automatic and carried on by itself deep down and the unconscious."

BEN KISSEL

Honestly he just wants to buttfuck.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He does.

BEN KISSEL

Yes.

MARCUS PARKS

Well yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's his will.

BEN KISSEL

But he just wants Jack Parsons to just be able to just take it whenever.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Well Aleister Crowley, it's the opposite, he wants Jack Parsons to give it whenever, he wants to be able to look as Aleister Crowley did believe that his submission to another was the most powerful way. He got control by giving control.

BEN KISSEL

Okay.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Power bottoms.

BEN KISSEL

All right, of course.

MARCUS PARKS

Well once a Crowley introduction was dangled, Parsons increased his involvement in the OTO. He suggested that the OTO should move their headquarters from Los Angeles to Pasadena which would allow Jack to spend more time at the Lodge. But perhaps more importantly it would give the Lodge more space to spread out, especially after Jack Parsons rented a mansion at 1003 Orange Grove Avenue for $100 a month.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

This place was fucking huge.

BEN KISSEL

$100 a month. I'm gonna jump off a fucking bridge. That's incredible.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It was a different time.

BEN KISSEL

It was a different time.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

So it was basically just taxes and rent. That's why they wanted to go to Pasadena? More space.

MARCUS PARKS

More space, yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

More space.

BEN KISSEL

More bang for your buck. How many times did they say more bang for your buck?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I think there was a lot of that in the OTO.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But Jack Parsons lived in Pasadena and it was an attempt, they viewed him as the one. That was one thing that started coming up, it was like as people were meeting him at the Agape Lounge-

MARCUS PARKS

Agape Lodge. The Agape Lounge...

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's the outside.

BEN KISSEL

That's a hookah lounge.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But once they started meeting him, they were like oh he might have the X factor.

BEN KISSEL

Okay.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But Aleister Crowley again, he was a very hard teacher, literally. And you had to kiss the ring.

BEN KISSEL

Okay, all right.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. Parsons filled that mansion with OTO Members and they were all supposed to live there communally, it was sort of a second draft of Crowley's failed Abbey of Thelema where people lost their minds and/or their lives in the countryside of Sicily.

BEN KISSEL

Right. Well that's where he ate shit.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And then watched others eat poop.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, I remember that.

MARCUS PARKS

I remember that, yeah. He ate shit and then spent two days going like that was a bad idea, oh my god, I shouldn't have done that.

BEN KISSEL

They didn't like it, gave them a stomachache.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I have this astral stomach ache, it must be something I ate.

BEN KISSEL

What have you been eating, pancakes or carbs?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Piles of shit.

BEN KISSEL

Piles of shit. Oh okay.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, you know me.

BEN KISSEL

Maybe circle that in the calendar and notice when the stomachache started, right after you ate that pile of human shit.

MARCUS PARKS

It was a full log. That's what he said, that it was a full log.

BEN KISSEL

I remember the story, that one sticks out. I remember only the things that I don't like the most. That was that one.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He was an experimenter.

BEN KISSEL

I think he cut it with a fork and knife.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I saw the movie Salò.

BEN KISSEL

Ugh god.

MARCUS PARKS

Well when I say communal, this is communal living here in this mansion with all these OTO members, I don't mean that everyone was on equal footing. Rooms were assigned according to OTO hierarchy with Jack Parsons and Sara Northrup sharing a nice two room suite so they could have separate affairs as per the OTO's teachings.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

They were working.

BEN KISSEL

Okay.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah it sounded like they were fucking but they were working.

BEN KISSEL

All right.

MARCUS PARKS

Ever the nerd though, Jack Parsons covered the walls of his room with all the knives and swords he'd collected throughout the years.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's my boy.

MARCUS PARKS

Proving that you can still be a sci-fi fan who openly collects bladed weapons and still gets laid if you frame it the right way.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's all it is, man.

BEN KISSEL

I'm gonna tell you this, no one is framing it the right way.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's packaging, dude.

BEN KISSEL

So don't do it. I had a friend in college, he had knives above his bed, he just liked knives. But then you take a girl home and it's just scary.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

On college, again. It's different.

MARCUS PARKS

He's not framing it the right way. You can't say I just like knives, you gotta say like ah yes, this blade, i procured this blade when I was taking a travel to Kathmandu and discovered-

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Super wet.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah but it's just scary cause now you're holding a blade that can kill somebody and they're in bed.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Ceremonial sword. That's how you frame it.

BEN KISSEL

This is my favorite chainsaw. (revving)

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But do you have a job? Are you available? Sometimes it really helps.

BEN KISSEL

Less weapons in plain sight I feel also helps someone calm down.

MARCUS PARKS

Well ostensibly the mansion at Orange Grove was supposed to be a utopian community made up of true Thelemites who shared all the responsibilities.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

This is the problem. It's kind of like in Satanism, right. It's all of these guys, right. Each man and woman is a star, right. And it's all love under will and it's about expressing your true will. And it's just the thing about Thelemites is that it's really difficult to get them to work as a group.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Because each one is so important to themselves, it's kind of hard to be like, 'Frayter of Babylon? You're on trash duty.'

BEN KISSEL

Right.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And he's just like I want to come! And you're like well why don't you come while you're doing the recycling?

BEN KISSEL

Working into it.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, absolutely. Get aroused by recycling.

MARCUS PARKS

Didn't work out at all. And most of them fell into traditional gender roles if they fell into any role at all.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Because this is before they started really taking it seriously.

BEN KISSEL

Okay.

MARCUS PARKS

Jane Wolfe, one of the first members of the Agape Lodge, had to do all the shopping for the whole house. And another woman named Phyllis Seckler was supposed to do all the cooking. Neither one really did much of either.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

See at least they were bad at it too.

BEN KISSEL

I think that's fantastic. I mean just get Uber Eats, come on.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. So as the men went, an actor named Frederick Mellinger was supposed to do all the yard work.

BEN KISSEL

Oh and that's not happening. No.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, he just didn't do it.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

All the gardens died.

BEN KISSEL

I'm acting like I'm doing it but you're just not doing it.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And he's just miming a rake.

BEN KISSEL

Miming, yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And they go and they're like why didn't you do the garden? Why aren't you doing all the leaves and stuff? And he's like it's just not my true will to rake. And it's like I just need you to just have the will to fucking... I'm gonna hit you. I'm gonna hit you.

BEN KISSEL

A true skill that actors have is the ability to stay in a location for a long period of time like one of these things they hangout in, the canisters of shit?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

An apartment?

BEN KISSEL

No, when you're on set.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

A trailer.

BEN KISSEL

A trailer, yes. So they can sit in those trailers for hours and hours and hours.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's very important.

BEN KISSEL

It's a skill.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And stay in the head mind mindset.

BEN KISSEL

Oh yeah, method acting. That's good.

MARCUS PARKS

Well there actually was one guy who kind of tried using 'it's not my true will', using that excuse to get out of work, Wilfred Smith, the cofounder of the Agape Lodge.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He's in management.

MARCUS PARKS

He quit his day job, he was supposed to take care of the animals and the vegetables but while I guess working at the fucking gas company, that's an acceptable position, agriculture is apparently not a field fitting for a priest of the OTO.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Whatever!

BEN KISSEL

It's not easy to do. Did he have any experimentation? Did he know how to grow a vegetable?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I do feel like there is something in manual labor that actually does help magically. I think that he was incorrect and it's because he was a fancy pants nerd. Yes.

BEN KISSEL

When was the last time he did manual labor?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

In the house, I have to. Now as soon as you have a house you have to do a bunch of work and it sucks.

MARCUS PARKS

Sara Northrup meanwhile didn't do shit except have sex with Jack and do her best to fuck up Jack's day when she felt Jack wasn't paying enough attention to her which was always.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

She was a spark plug.

BEN KISSEL

That's right.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Bit of a smidge.

MARCUS PARKS

Really about the only one who did anything was Helen Parsons who was still technically married to Jack. She was the treasurer and she did a competent job. But the thing is that a lot of these people had kids and they brought the kids to this mansion and then they just kinda let them run wild.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It ain't for a family. You know what I mean?

BEN KISSEL

No.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You're supposed to really be concentrating on your onus and having sex under will and all that kind of shit. Not like you gotta go to kindergarten? Meh.

BEN KISSEL

I want to go with the no kid policy on that one. But if you are a kid running around the streets of Pasadena and with fairly loose parenting, maybe it was kind of fun.

MARCUS PARKS

For some of them. These were like three year olds.

BEN KISSEL

Oh they were miserable, they were just kind of confused and upset.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. Well as far as what Jack Parsons did, he had arguably the most important job. He paid for everything.

BEN KISSEL

That is the most important job and I need to talk to my fucking dogs about that.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yep.

BEN KISSEL

Because Jerry and Puffin have been just, 'What you do around here?'

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

And it's like you fucking...everything that you look at.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I know. Wendy said something to me the other day, I was on the couch. She said aren't you supposed to be on tour right now?

BEN KISSEL

Shut the fuck up.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And I was like let me just sit.

BEN KISSEL

I know. It's unbelievable what they say with their eyes.

MARCUS PARKS

Well he gave his entire paycheck to the church of Thelema every month say for 10 bucks that he'd keep for himself. But for him it was worth it. He provided the money and the OTO provided him with a weird ass family and a like-minded community.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I really think in his way that's where Jack Parsons is different than a lot of these other kind of remoras on society as far as I'm concerned, where he really was starting to find fellowship and loved it. He loved the actual practice and the study and he was really getting into it. And he did the thing where he looked around like how do I make this my life and not everything else?

BEN KISSEL

That was the church I was forced to go to, Good News Fellowship Church. That's where they would marry a lesbian to a gay man because that's how that fixed that.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It did.

BEN KISSEL

They did that.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, that's not good.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah. This guy named Steve, he was real feminine and tiny, he married this huge chick who was a truck driver.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's magic.

BEN KISSEL

But I don't think it worked out. They probably were pretty sad.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Unless they started wailing on each other, fucking like crazy.

BEN KISSEL

No, I don't think so.

MARCUS PARKS

No, I don't think it would happen.

BEN KISSEL

It was a bad idea.

MARCUS PARKS

Parsons also brought in more people on his level. He's kind of balancing out the dead weight of the drama teachers and the former silent film stars who hadn't worked since the talkies had arrived.

BEN KISSEL

Oh my goodness.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But they're setting up the atmosphere.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

That is crazy, I feel like I picture them in black and white.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It does. I don't know how to make them in color in my mind.

BEN KISSEL

Yes.

MARCUS PARKS

Instead Parsons brought in his old childhood friend and business partner, Ed Forman, also brought in Ed Forman's wife. He also got a dude from the Hercules Powder Company and two math experts from Caltech. All these people were married and they were all eager to learn about the sex magic secrets of the OTO. This is 1940, it's a weird time in America.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's interesting because they understood this thing of like okay, we're all doing magic, it's totally okay for all of us to come in and we'll all fuck all of our wives' hottest friends. And we'll all hang out in a circle, at least most willing, and then sometimes how willing you are, that shows how hot you are.

BEN KISSEL

Okay.

MARCUS PARKS

What?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, I'm saying that sometimes you're only as hot as what you're willing to do.

BEN KISSEL

Well if someone is real horned up for it.

MARCUS PARKS

That's horrible.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Sometimes you are sitting in a hotel room and you're like I need someone to fucking lick my asshole and you're just gonna put that out in the universe and you just gotta accept who shows up.

BEN KISSEL

There you go.

MARCUS PARKS

All right. Well since Parsons was attracting individuals that were in positions of real power and esteem, he also drew the attention of the FBI.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

The FBI would investigate Jack Parsons several times over the next 10 years, writing a file that would eventually stretch to 200 pages. However the FBI never found anything illegal because Jack Parsons was only pretend evil like most people in the OTO. But even though the FBI found nothing, neighborhood busybodies got in on the action too.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Because this is what Anton Lavey will steal later on, but the concept of the Satanic duality, that's what's fun is that it creates a barrier to entry. You create this environment where it seems super fucked up and super dark and mysterious and that actually precludes a lot of people from involving themselves because they don't want to get involved in something that's super fucked up. But then when you arrive you're like oh it's kind of silly, it's kind of nerdy.

BEN KISSEL

It's kinda boring.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You say it's boring, I find it as an actor, it's fascinating. And the idea of showing up in a costume and doing all of this shit is fucking rad. It's their version of LARPing and they get to suck each other's dicks.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. Well a neighbor calling himself quote "a real soldier" sent a letter to Pasadena police tattling on Jack Parsons, writing that a black magic cult practicing Crowleyism and sexual perversion were flourishing at Orange Grove and somebody better do something about it before it gets out of hand.

BEN KISSEL

He's a real soldier, go do it yourself.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He wasn't. He was a soldier of Pasadena's army of men that stare at your house.

MARCUS PARKS

As I said, nothing illegal was happening. But the Agape Lodge of the OTO was a dangerous organization to join emotionally if you weren't ready for it because the OTO, it's kind of the swinger's club of the magical world. Basically it's threesome rules, if you have to be convinced to do it, you're not ready for it.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Nice.

MARCUS PARKS

In a prime example of feelings getting hurt, Jack Parsons brought in a guy named Grady McMurtry who would eventually bring the OTO back from the brink of obscurity in 1971 with Helen Parsons. But back in 1941 when McMurtry first joined, he was dealing with the emotional consequences of sex magic after Parsons and Wilfred Smith spitroasted his wife, got her pregnant, and paid for an abortion without telling him.

BEN KISSEL

Oh interesting. Also you continue to say spitroast, in America it is called rotisserie. And we did learn this because when we did, where were we, in Amsterdam?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I forget what it was.

MARCUS PARKS

We were in Manchester.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Because I mentioned rotisserie in one of our funny little bits and then they were like it's not rotisserie, it's spitroasting, which is so much more disgusting sounding.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's what makes it more European.

BEN KISSEL

Okay.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, spitroasting. I brought that back, that's one of the things I brought back from Manchester as well as a relapse of long COVID.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Of course.

MARCUS PARKS

Hell yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's both. You got spitroasted by long COVID.

BEN KISSEL

It has definitely been fucking both ends of your life.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Well as a consequence, Grady McMurtry said that Parsons and his ilk were a bunch of empty headed Athenians.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's as much as he could say after they all had sex with his wife.

BEN KISSEL

Wow.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He's like you nerds!

BEN KISSEL

Empty headed Athenians.

MARCUS PARKS

And he also said that Parsons himself was quote "as coked up as a snowbird".

BEN KISSEL

That is funny.

MARCUS PARKS

He was correct in that last one, that one he was absolutely correct.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes. Yeah, very much so.

BEN KISSEL

Maybe correct with the first one, we just don't know.

MARCUS PARKS

Well in order to cope with all the new responsibilities facing Parsons in both the scientific and the magical world, Parsons started doing a lot of coke and a lot of speed. This was right around the time he co founded his own company with the other Suicide Squad members and called it Aerojet.

BEN KISSEL

Ooh that's cool.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It is cool.

MARCUS PARKS

I like Aerojet.

BEN KISSEL

Definitely a cocaine idea.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

In addition Parsons was also making his own custom drugs, using his vast knowledge of chemistry. Of course this is encouraged by Aleister Crowley's teachings because Crowley said that drugs can assist in magical ritual and astral travel.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah. Wait a second but from the outside perspective, it's just a house that's now creating a bunch of drugs.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Dude, it's awesome.

MARCUS PARKS

It's a meth lab kinda.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, yeah. That shit's fucking awesome. It's a bunch of questionable people in a very fancy neighborhood, like an elevated neighborhood, like the governor had a house there and shit.

BEN KISSEL

Right. Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And so that's what I love about this story is that they moved right into the heart of the burbs.

BEN KISSEL

Right.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

They created a community of naked artists, they were all having sex with each and doing all this shit, doing a bunch of drugs. And again for the time period it's super fucking awesome.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

For me, this idea of it's in the super kind of square version of America where they're all fucking covered in come.

BEN KISSEL

I mean you would go knock on the door right now at 9 PM and be like can you keep it down, my dog, just turn it down to 9? Can we turn it down to 9?

MARCUS PARKS

Now speaking of Crowley, while it was nice that Parsons was bankrolling the OTO chapter in California, Crowley also felt that some of that OTO money should be spread to Crowley himself.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Let's just think about this for a second. Okay, maybe I could get a little cut, huh? Come on.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

And not just for heroin.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Not just for heroin.

BEN KISSEL

Okay.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. He also needed it for his new magical project.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Wands. You think they grow on trees? Technically yes, they do.

BEN KISSEL

It just seems like someone needs to get a job.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Aleister Crowley technically had a job, executive time. He has to sit and think about all of the magic that he needs to do.

BEN KISSEL

I got it.

MARCUS PARKS

Actually he does have a job at this time. At this time he's making rejuvenation potions from his own come.

BEN KISSEL

No that's come! That's not a job!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You mean to tell me that our fan of the show and friend Tommy Pistol, that he doesn't have a job? All he does is come.

BEN KISSEL

No, he bangs on camera.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, he's coming.

BEN KISSEL

And he's got a huge ding dong because technically he is kind of short, so I think the penis does look a little bit bigger. But anyway...

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You're talking mess on a man who fucks for a living?

BEN KISSEL

I'm not talking mess at all! But he doesn't cell rejuvenation potions from his come. He puts his butthole on camera.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's because he's leaving money on the table.

MARCUS PARKS

Does he sell dildos that are modeled after his own dick?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He does.

MARCUS PARKS

That's the 21st century version of that, I'd say.

BEN KISSEL

That's what the fellas get to do because they don't make as much money as the gals there.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No.

BEN KISSEL

They can sell their ding dongs. And gals sell a whole bunch of stuff.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Of course, yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Well at this point in history Crowley was designing his tarot card deck deck.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah the Book of Thoth deck which is actually very powerful.

MARCUS PARKS

Oh yeah, it's become fairly standard in the tarot community since Grady Mcmurtry and Helen Parsons pushed for its publication in the 70s. Now Crowley considered these cards to be the most important thing he'd ever done but Wilfred Smith who was still technically in charge of the Agape Lodge, he didn't agree.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

What do you mean? So Aleister Crowley was just like this is the most important thing I've ever done and the other guy was like no, it's not?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

This is the thing again about Thelema and magic is that it's all everybody's will. It's a bunch of upstarts, it's a bunch of people who got fucking mouthy mouths. But the problem is that Aleister Crowley didn't like that, he wanted a yes man. And when he presented this whole thing-

BEN KISSEL

Well yeah because he said this is one of the most important things I've ever done. And then the person just said no.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's their will.

MARCUS PARKS

Well Aleister Crowley was always looking for another Victor Neuburg.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Remember he was the guy that he powerbottomed into insanity.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He broke his mind, yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, I remember.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He just could never get that guy back.

BEN KISSEL

Neuburg!

MARCUS PARKS

He never could.

BEN KISSEL

No.

MARCUS PARKS

When Smith didn't say yes to funding the tarot deck, he was ordered to step down and the OTO was split between those who supported Smith and those who wanted the tarot deck. And Parsons sort of became the man in the middle, I think because he revered Crowley but he was also friends with Wilfred.

BEN KISSEL

You need to get merch. I'm actually with Aleister Crowley on this one. People would buy those.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes.

MARCUS PARKS

And they did.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And they did and it really meant something later on after his fucking death which is kind of sad. But Jack Parsons was regularly in communication with Aleister Crowley and he was trying to say hey, I'm super so serious about this, I want to be the center of this, not so much the leader but there's a vacuum of true leadership happening in Los Angeles and we need something. But at the same time he liked Wilfred Smith even though Wilfred Smith would later go on to bang his fucking ex wife and make a child out of it. Right?

MARCUS PARKS

It was technically still his wife when he banged her and got her pregnant.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

But that was also all a part of the OTO, they were all cool with it.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It was the whole thing.

MARCUS PARKS

They were all cool with it. Well in an attempt to sort of mend this rift between Crowley and Smith, Parsons published a magazine called 'Oriflamme' which was filled with articles about magic that were written by Smith and Parsons.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And the 'Oriflamme' was actually a republish of the original 1800s newsletter where the OTO was announced. Because back in the day you'd find out about the new esoteric group when it showed up in some kind of publication. And so that was where the OTO kind of introduced themselves in the 1890s. But they didn't become the OTO until 1915.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. Now today Oriflamme is a Swedish makeup company. But back then Parsons used the name to publish poetry that I actually like, I actually like Jack Parsons' poetry.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah. It's good.

MARCUS PARKS

It's somewhere between Aleister Crowley and Hawkwind. It's like Iron Maiden lyrics but psychedelic.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's dope.

BEN KISSEL

Can we hear some?

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, Henry's gonna read some. And I think you could take these lyrics and just do this on your own later on, you could sing some of these lines to the tune of the verse in Run To The Hills.

BEN KISSEL

(singing) Run to the hills.

MARCUS PARKS

It's got a very Maiden cadence to it.

BEN KISSEL

Okay.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I height don Quixote, I live on peyote, marihuana, morphine and cocaine. I never know sadness, but only a madness that burns at the heart and the brain. I see each charwoman, ecstatic, inhuman, angelic, demonic, divine. Each wagon a dragon, each beer mug a flagon that brims with ambrosial wine. The mountains are palaces, women are chalices meant to be supped and not sold. The desert a banquet hall set for a festival ripe for the free and the bold. You fucking...this is good.

BEN KISSEL

Is it?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

"The wind and the sky are ours, heaven and all it's stars, waken and do what you will. Break with this demon spawned hell-inspired nightmare bond, Magick lies over the hill. They said I was crazy, ambiguous, lazy, disgusting, fantastic, obscene. So I hied for my sagebrush and cactus and corn mush to see if the air was so clean. Oh I height don Quixote, I love on peyote, marihuana, morphine, and cocaine. And may I be twice damned for a bank clerk or store hand if I visit the city again."

BEN KISSEL

Sounds like the Grinch.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It is. Who's getting his dick sucked!

BEN KISSEL

Well I think if the Grinch did get his dick... Maybe that would have made him happier.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah man. You put that in a Kind Gizzard album or song, yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, those lyrics are Dr. Seussy with it, sure.

MARCUS PARKS

Those are pretty good psychedelic lyrics, man.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah. That's like medieval rap.

BEN KISSEL

It was. I mean honestly it's better than anything in Hamilton.

MARCUS PARKS

I'll agree.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I'll agree.

BEN KISSEL

I don't know what happened with that.

MARCUS PARKS

I don't know either. Now Parsons was pleased as punch at this poem and in everything he did for 'Oriflamme'. But when he sent a copy to his mentor, Crowley hated it just like he hated everything that he himself did not write.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

He was just on heroin. He was just angry and sick and I guarantee you if you met him when he was super high, he probably would have loved it.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I believe that he was in a word jealous.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I think that he missed his youthful energy and he wanted to yuck his yum as much as possible because no one should feel the freedom that Aleister Crowley felt. He called him, he said the whole problem with him is that he was too poetic.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Too poetic? Okay.

MARCUS PARKS

In fact Crowley was particularly enraged at the poem.

BEN KISSEL

Why?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Which is funny, he wrote poetry!

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Aleister Crowley started writing poetry.

MARCUS PARKS

Well it wasn't the poem, it wasn't poetry itself that Crowley was upset about, he was upset over the subject matter. Because he wrote to Jane Wolfe that all the poem was gonna do was revive the ancient stories about Crowley concerning drug trafficking and so on.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Crowley was really mad towards the end of his life that only anybody will ever talk about is how I'm addicted to heroin and I ate shit that one time. He was like so butthurt at the end which is so funny because you're the most evil man in the world, that was your whole gig, dude. And now you're mad that they're calling you that. You set it up. Because it's just once you're labeled a genius one time you think you're a genius in every aspect. You start to think no, no, no, now they need to understand me on my terms. Where we're like no bro, you sold yourself as the great devil and now they bought it, so you'll live with it.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. At this point in history the last time that Aleister Crowley had been in the news was him actually trying to say that he wasn't evil.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes.

MARCUS PARKS

Because he tried to win a defamation suit.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes. And he was like it was a character! He did the Alex Jones, he broke character in court.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, he said that actually his name means little sunshine.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Like he's a Shih Tzu.

MARCUS PARKS

Just trying to get some money.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Okay.

MARCUS PARKS

Now Jack Parsons was embarrassed that Crowley wasn't picking up what he was putting down. But Karl Germer, Crowley's second in command, still had great respect for what Jack was doing. Germer also noticed that Parsons was the only one with any money because his company Aerojet was getting more and more profitable off government contracts, lest ye forget the WWII was still going on.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Well that was going to be one of my questions. Any concern about that?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

What?

BEN KISSEL

It doesn't seem like they're really talking about the big war.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No, no, they're doing magic.

BEN KISSEL

I know!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And then the rest of their life is spent building weapons for the war. So they spend their whole days doing the war and then at nighttime they're getting their dicks sucked.

BEN KISSEL

Oh I see. So they are focused on the war, they know the war is happening.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. They're all in the arms industry, yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Very much.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah. Again, war profiteers.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Well they didn't have to be drafted because they were considered essential for the war effort working on the weapons.

BEN KISSEL

Gotcha, gotcha.

MARCUS PARKS

So since Parsons had the brains and the bankroll, he was put forth as the only alternative from Wilfred Smith for leadership in the Agape Lodge.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Meanwhile he wasn't super pleased.

MARCUS PARKS

No.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He didn't really want to be in charge.

MARCUS PARKS

No.

BEN KISSEL

It sucks.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Again, he was like that's not what I'm saying. Again, executive producer is a really good place to be when you show up and you don't have to come up with every single thing, you're like the fourth executive producer. You pay for stuff and then you go like that curtain should be
brown!

BEN KISSEL

And then you leave.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And then you just sit the rest of the time in video village with the things on.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Then you just get to do your sex magic.

BEN KISSEL

So it sounds like he was more of the inventor and not like... It's not a company. He wants to invent, he doesn't want to run a company.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah. He wanted to live the life of the mind.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. And since Crowley was further put off by Wilfred Smith because Crowley thought Smith was turning the OTO into a boring love cult-

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Whatever.

MARCUS PARKS

Jack's ascendance as head of the Agape Lodge was arranged. In return Parsons gave Crowley $300 for the tarot deck, perhaps revealing the more practical impetus behind Jack's new leadership role.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Thank you, Jack.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, that's nice. That's a lot of money.

MARCUS PARKS

Now this was 1943 and all this infighting had led to a significant exodus of the Orange Grove mansion residents who were actually probably more interested in Wilfred Smith's love cult angle than they were in living by the Thelemic principles.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I mean that's what's nice about these lodges right? Because if you're in there for the ritual magic you got it, got you covered. But if you're in there to just do group fucky sucky, all you gotta do is put on the costumes and go like yeah, I'm Saladin, blah blah blah. And then you do it.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah. But if you don't like it you can only do it for so long.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes. Eventually it doesn't become annoying, I can imagine.

MARCUS PARKS

See while Parsons definitely kept the sex parties, he had refocused the lodge to make magical attainment the highest priority and he began teaching classes on the tarot and Crowley in studies. Now once Wilfred Smith was out as the head of the OTO, Crowley naturally wanted to get rid of him altogether. But Wilfred Smith and Helen Parsons had begun an affair of their own and Helen was pregnant.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

And since Parsons actually did walk the walk when it came to the no jealousy rule, he asked Crowley to not not take any further action against Wilfred Smith until after the child was born because he still loved his wife. They're all in it together.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Sure.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He's trying to make it work.

MARCUS PARKS

But as soon as the child known as Kwan Lanval Parsons was born.

BEN KISSEL

Oh that'll be good for him.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's gonna be fine.

MARCUS PARKS

Crowley set a complicated and humiliating plan in motion that was somewhat of a mix between a test of faith and a highly elaborate practical joke.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Which is Crowley at his very core.

MARCUS PARKS

Yes.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

At his very core, I've been reading 'Moonchild' too and I forget how funny 'Moonchild' is. Moonchild' also has a lot of parody of other magicians, like he makes fun of fucking Golden Dawn, he makes fun of these people. There's like funny shit in it. But yeah, he definitely... Because you can't just kick him out.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

No.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You can't just say get out of here, he has to come up with this kind of put him through it, he's got to put him through a bunch of labors.

BEN KISSEL

You could just say get out of here but...

MARCUS PARKS

But if you do that, if you say just get out of here, you lose credibility, you lose leadership. You have to make them leave because that's the thing, it strengthens you if they leave especially after you give them a bunch of goofy bullshit to do, you can say they were not strong enough. Because check it out, listen to what Crowley had him do.

BEN KISSEL

Okay.

MARCUS PARKS

Crowley sent Wilfred Smith a 12 page letter that presented a mixture of cabalistic calculation, omen telling, and oracle reading. It included Smith's horoscope drawn up and cross referenced with broad readings from Crowley's masterwork 'The Book of the Law'.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah and he's just looking at it like it's homework, right. Which is all of Crowley.

BEN KISSEL

Sounds like a lot.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's a lot of work. You look at it and you're like okay, I'm parsing through this.

MARCUS PARKS

Once Crowley established the appropriate amount of magical bullshit in the letter to the point where Smith couldn't argue with it, Crowley concluded by declaring that Wilfred T. Smith was not a man at all but was in fact the incarnation of a god, although Crowley did not know which god he was.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

So Crowley posits, like listen, (British accent) 'So the best part is yes, you're no longer needed as the leader of the California edition of the OTO, I get right. It's a bummer. But it's a promotion in a way where you are now a god.'

BEN KISSEL

I'm a god now.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

(British accent) You're a god. I don't know which one.

BEN KISSEL

What superpowers do I have?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

(British accent) One of those superpowers is definitely not being in charge of the OTO anymore.

BEN KISSEL

Whoa, that's cool.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

(British accent) But that's because it's beneath you.

BEN KISSEL

I'm a god.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

(British accent) You're too good for it.

BEN KISSEL

I believe it, I'm a god now.

MARCUS PARKS

Well Smith's mission, Crowley wrote, was to find out which god he was.

BEN KISSEL

That's a lot.

MARCUS PARKS

And in order to do this, he gave him a plan though. He said you gotta leave the Orange Grove mansion.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

(British accent) You're gonna need to leave town, you're gonna need to get the fuck out of there.

MARCUS PARKS

You're gonna have to cut off all contact with the Agape Lodge.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yep.

MARCUS PARKS

You're going to have to tattoo the number 666 on your forehead.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

This is the only way!

BEN KISSEL

Oh that's great.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

(British accent) I have done the reading, I've done the math.

MARCUS PARKS

And you got to move to the desert. And only then after you go out, do all that, only then would you be set upon the path to discovering which god you are.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's important.

BEN KISSEL

That's great.

MARCUS PARKS

All that's just the fucking prepwork.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Legwork, yeah.

BEN KISSEL

I wish I had this logic when I was a bouncer to get drunkards out of the bar.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah. Being like listen, you're not drunk enough. Honestly dude?

BEN KISSEL

Come back when you're drunker.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You should come back when you're drunker.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Smith of course resigned from his position rather than go through this humiliating ordeal that was obviously just meant to humiliate him.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Oh he didn't get the 666 tattoo on his face?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No, no. He understood.

BEN KISSEL

Like the guy that got the Romney R on his face?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

The vibe seems to be he was excited up top and then as he was going through the documentation he's like I'm being roasted.

BEN KISSEL

So he did notice.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes.

MARCUS PARKS

The thing is though Parsons soon resigned as well. The in-fighting and the pressure from his job was starting to get to him and the weak attempt to manipulate Wilfred Smith into doing something so stupid kind of soured Jack Parsons on Aleister Crowley for just a little bit. But if you'll remember, Jack Parsons had grown up without a father. So Crowley jumped on that need for a father figure by writing a paternal if bullying letter refusing to accept the resignation.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yep.

MARCUS PARKS

Crowley also of course left out the part saying that he really needed Parsons to stay because he was the only one around making any real money.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes.

BEN KISSEL

Right.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He was definitely the angel donator.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Now Parsons knew that he was being manipulated but he still had a thirst for knowledge and he still believed in the OTO and he believed in Crowley's work even if he didn't always believe in Crowley himself.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

So Parsons decided to adopt Crowley as a father figure and he continued his work for the OTO.

BEN KISSEL

I mean most of our dads haven't eaten human shit.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I mean I don't know what my father did in Vietnam.

BEN KISSEL

That's true.

MARCUS PARKS

Your dad fucked around in a submarine in the Gulf of Mexico in Vietnam.

BEN KISSEL

Well we don't know he didn't eat human shit.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

To be honest I feel like that actually shows that it was more likely he'd eaten a little human shit because all these navy men are all fucking pranking each other and shit.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

They used to take out the torpedo tubes and he'd crawl inside the torpedo tubes and they'd roll him up and down the submarine. They had a great time in Vietnam.

BEN KISSEL

I can't believe we didn't win that war.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I don't know what happened.

MARCUS PARKS

Now concerning Jack Parsons' place in the scientific world, he was very much developing machines of war. He was building guided missiles that could fly 150 miles to deliver 1000 lbs payloads capable of killing hundreds if not thousands in a single shot. But what's crazy is that while he was developing these weapons of medium destruction, he was also playing dangerous pranks on his employees. He was setting off smoke bombs during lunch.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He's a fun guy.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He's out of pocket, man.

BEN KISSEL

I wouldn't really like to be the employee but it sounds like he had fun.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, great fun. No, he would take firecrackers and walk up to area where they were working on volatile chemicals and he put the firecracker into a tin can to make it louder and then light it.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's fun.

MARCUS PARKS

And then everyone would freak out because they thought they were about to die but he's laughing and laughing.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

My thing is man, honestly your job is you're making these bombs, right? Stop being so scared all the time.

BEN KISSEL

Well it's a scary process.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Stop flinching. Jack Parsons was steely-eyed.

BEN KISSEL

I guess so.

MARCUS PARKS

But since Parsons was of the opinion that no object is neither good nor evil, even if it is a ballistic missile-

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But does a ballistic missile, does it... How do I make this neutral? If it's just in your house, it's a table.

BEN KISSEL

That could be a table, it could be a lamp, it could really be anything. Maybe you could use it to make holes if you wanted a lake.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It'd definitely help me fucking... You could take over that HOA with one.

BEN KISSEL

Oh sure. Oh my goodness.

MARCUS PARKS

Well Jack's company pushed forward and they were given $3 million to further develop missile and jet technology. This shit is getting bigger and bigger. By that time Aerojet had changed its name to the Jet Propulsion Research Project or JPL.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Jack Parsons lives! That's what they call it nowadays.

MARCUS PARKS

And the group dynamic had changed as well. It was far more corporate and eventual trips to the moon had taken a backseat to the possible destruction of everything on the ground. It's not a bunch of buddies blowing it up anymore.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No. Ugh, now it's a job.

BEN KISSEL

Well they're dealing with some pretty important stuff.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Maybe you want a little structure.

MARCUS PARKS

But Parsons continued to use JPL as his private experimental lab, continuing on with the same self educated diy attitude that had gotten him there in the first place. This of course caused tensions with the more hoity toity employees at JPL, like an astrophysics professor named Fritz Zwicky.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Whatever, nerd. You're not fucking having nerd sex.

BEN KISSEL

But now can we just say maybe they're right? Because it seems like he's doing a lot of experimental stuff with very dangerous chemicals.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Executive time. Okay? He needs to think of ideas and he needs to do things as it is his will.

BEN KISSEL

He doesn't have a degree. It's okay but...

MARCUS PARKS

Well that's the thing, that's what Zwicky said. He said that Parsons was dangerous and untrained. Which he was, both of those things were very true. But he got results.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Bro! Who needs that fucking degree, Does Lebron need a degree in jumping in a basketball game?

BEN KISSEL

No, it's different. It's different.

MARCUS PARKS

If anyone on this show, Ben, that I would imagine would be absolutely for Jack Parsons-

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

This man. This man.

BEN KISSEL

I am fine with the man who pulled himself up by his weird suspenders and he made himself a physicist without a degree. But I'm just saying at some point maybe he could have gone to a class.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Whatever, dude.

BEN KISSEL

A safety class.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He was the class, bro.

BEN KISSEL

Well that might be the problem.

MARCUS PARKS

Well Zwicky had no respect for Parsons and Zwicky would order chemicals for experiments that Parsons told him wouldn't work for rockets. Parsons was like why are you doing that?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Fucking wrong, Zwicky. Fuck you, Zwicky.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. But Zwicky's saying I'm the professor, I've got the knowledge, I'll order them.

BEN KISSEL

Okay.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Ugh Mr. Teacher, I'll do whatever you want, Mr. Teacher.

BEN KISSEL

I like the doers more than the teachers but some-

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He's on the teachers side! What is happening?

BEN KISSEL

I am pro-teacher in many ways. I just think he could have been taught how to be safer.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Weird.

MARCUS PARKS

All right. That's so weird. I want to see how you respond to this, Ben.

BEN KISSEL

All right.

MARCUS PARKS

When the chemicals arrived that Zwicky ordered that Parsons said no, we don't need those, why are you ordering those? When they arrived, Parsons snuck out to the building where the chemicals were being held and he blew up the building.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's what I'm talking about, dude. Student becomes the master. Oh Mr. Teacher, oh what if I blow up your school, Mr. Teacher?

BEN KISSEL

He's got $3 million! Is he Tiger King trying to kill his alligators?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He's in charge of himself, bro.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah man, this is his company.

BEN KISSEL

We're about to go to war.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

We were at war!

MARCUS PARKS

We're in war.

BEN KISSEL

We're in war!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah man, all's fair in war.

BEN KISSEL

This isn't us! Technically it's an act of domestic terrorism.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Look at you. We got him in the hypocrite trap, man.

BEN KISSEL

No, this is not a hypocrite trap. He blew up a government building because he was pissed at a professor.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

We got him against the wall, hear him scrambling.

MARCUS PARKS

It's not a government building. This is a private building, bro. This is a company that he owns with a bunch of dudes.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Private enterprise, bro! Freedom is a two-edged sword!

BEN KISSEL

He just sounds like he would buy Twitter for $44 billion.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, that is his ability.

BEN KISSEL

Okay.

MARCUS PARKS

No man, this is a company that is owned and founded by a bunch of dudes called the Suicide Squad.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah bro, get with it.

BEN KISSEL

All right, I'm fine with it. Just saying.

MARCUS PARKS

All right.

BEN KISSEL

All right.

MARCUS PARKS

Eventually though the demands the military put on Parsons got to be too much. They demanded 20,000 JATO mechanisms a month when Parsons had barely managed to build 2000 in the entire previous year. So when a company called General Tire bought 51% of the company Parsons had started with the Suicide Squad, Jack Parsons and Edward Forman sold their shares to Frank Malina for $11,000. No small sum in 1943.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Absolutely not.

BEN KISSEL

Okay.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And there was a little bit of conjecture about whether or not they were forced out or not or asked to leave. Because again, the suits took over.

BEN KISSEL

Sure.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

So once the suits came in and took, they bought it out and stuff and they look at Jack Parsons and they were like you're too much of a renegade.

BEN KISSEL

Well because he blew up that entire building.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Taught that teacher a lesson he should have known himself.

MARCUS PARKS

Well ever since, that company has been involved in every manned space vehicle that the United States has ever launched. And the shares Forman and Parsons sold were worth $12 million just by the 1960s, nevermind present day.

BEN KISSEL

That was maybe a mistake. Maybe they should have kept those.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

They might have just fired them.

BEN KISSEL

Put them in your back pocket.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

But money was not what Jack Parsons was after.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Freedom!

BEN KISSEL

But money often times, it has been scientifically proven now that it does make you happier.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's different, he's trying to get into magic biz.

BEN KISSEL

Okay.

MARCUS PARKS

While he still briefly worked as a consultant for JPL after the sale, he left the rocketry world completely at the age of 30 to completely focus on magic for the rest of his short life.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Age 3, the man ascends.

MARCUS PARKS

Now in modern value, Jack Parsons' $11,000 was worth $200,000, a fair sum.

BEN KISSEL

Okay, yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

So using these proceeds he bought out the mansion lease 1003 Orange Grove Avenue and spent almost all of his time at the Lodge as a man of magic and leisure.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's all I want. One day, one day! If you could listen to this jazz fusion shit dude.

BEN KISSEL

I can't wait.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I'm gonna show you guys. All day long, that's all you listen to. (jazz sounds)

BEN KISSEL

Nice.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Just fucking and drinking espressos.

BEN KISSEL

Sounds exciting. So he was alone now or he still had a whole crew?

MARCUS PARKS

Dude, he's got the crew. He's living with the crew. He's there 24 hours a day.

BEN KISSEL

Okay.

MARCUS PARKS

Jack don't got to fucking wake up at 7 AM to go in and build rockets no more, Jack's there all fucking day long, bro.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah dude.

MARCUS PARKS

He's there playing with toy boats in his bathtub.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah bro!

MARCUS PARKS

He's there hanging out with Sara.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's my boy!

BEN KISSEL

All right.

MARCUS PARKS

He's there fucking playing drinking games with Grady McMurtry who had since forgiven him for impregnating his wife and paying for an abortion behind his back. They're playing drinking games, man.

BEN KISSEL

That's nice. That's fun.

MARCUS PARKS

They had this one drinking game where they would chug aperitifs and then they would recite esoteric texts to see who could articulate their recitations the longest.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Because that's important because you're supposed to hold your attention. A lot of the fucking ritual shit is all memorization.

MARCUS PARKS

But while Parsons was out of the rocket game, he wasn't yet done with explosions. He and Ed Forman founded the Ad Astra Engineering Company, named after one of Aleister Crowley's magical organizations. And they continued to experiment with combustibles. At the same time though Parsons was alienating some of the older members of the OTO with his complete control over the mansion on Orange Grove. To make ends meet because he's not getting that Aerojet money anymore-

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No.

MARCUS PARKS

Parsons was renting out every available room to people outside of the OTO, although he still wanted to make sure he had the right vibe from all the new residents. This is what he wrote in a newspaper ad calling for borders.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And remember, I think this was 1947.

BEN KISSEL

Okay.

MARCUS PARKS

Is it that late?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

45? It might be.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, it's like '44, '45. Somewhere around there.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

"Only bohemians, artists, musicians, atheists, anarchists, and other exotic types need apply for rooms. Any mundane soul would be ceremoniously ejected."

BEN KISSEL

The thing about a mundane soul is they pay rent.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Well you're looking for a non mundane soul that has disposable income.

BEN KISSEL

Oh okay.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

It sounds like it's the same thing that they're doing in Williamsburg, Brooklyn right now.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Very much so.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

What do you mean, Williamsburg, Brooklyn?

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, it's a bunch of trust fund kids.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's a bunch of kids that somehow have $5,000 a month for rent and they don't work.

BEN KISSEL

Real artists are out in Bushwick now.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, sucking dick by the bridge.

MARCUS PARKS

They're even further out than that now, man. They're in Ridgewood.

BEN KISSEL

Oh, they made it all the way to Queens?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I'm salty. I'm salty about that.

MARCUS PARKS

You guys don't know this? Oh no dude, Ridgewood is supposedly one of the coolest neighborhoods on earth now. They're lying. They're absolutely lying.

BEN KISSEL

Oh okay. No, I mean it's the people that make it cool. Sure.

MARCUS PARKS

I guess so. If they only knew Catalpa. But even though the OTO members weren't super jazzed about non members coming in, Jack's ads did create a groovy atmosphere.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

(jazz sounds)

BEN KISSEL

All right.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's all music that sounds like that.

MARCUS PARKS

As author George Pendle put it, nuclear scientists and rocket scientists lived alongside occultists and sci-fi nerds.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Cool.

MARCUS PARKS

While Parsons and Sara Northrup led gnostic masses for the OTO members upstairs as high priest and high priestess.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Ooh. I can feel the groove.

BEN KISSEL

All right. Oh sure.

MARCUS PARKS

Now concerning those sci-fi nerds, Parsons was still a massive science fiction fan after all those years and he'd been hanging out with some of the most famous sci-fi writers of the century. He was hanging out with Robert Heinlein.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Robert Heinlein actually tried to say he had nothing to do with Jack Parsons but they know for a fact that they were really close friends. Robert Heinlein is a weird guy.

MARCUS PARKS

He's a weird guy, yeah. But he was hanging out with Ray Bradbury as well.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. And they were both fascinated by the way Parsons could bring science fiction into reality.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You hear that? Science fiction into reality. Guess who's coming into the scene soon, my boy's coming around.

BEN KISSEL

All right.

MARCUS PARKS

Now as far as how Parsons met those guys, the Los Angeles sci-fi writers like Heinlein, Bradbury, and Isaac Asimov as well as special effects nerds like Ray Harryhausen who did the fucking skeletons in Clash of the Titans-

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Sweet.

MARCUS PARKS

And publishers like Forrest Ackerman.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Forrest Ackerman who was one of the most important collectors of all time. He collected esoteric things.

BEN KISSEL

I've heard that name a lot.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. They'd all hang out together in a downtown Los Angeles cafeteria called Clifton's.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Which is where Jackie had a bachelorette party.

BEN KISSEL

Oh does is it still existing?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, it's still there.

BEN KISSEL

It still exists. That's interesting.

MARCUS PARKS

Well Clifton's was run by Clifford Clinton who had been the anti corruption activist whose investigations into Mayor Frank Shaw had led to the car bombing we talked about last week.

BEN KISSEL

All right, it's all coming together.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

So think about this, it's coming together.

MARCUS PARKS

See from what I can tell and I might be wrong on this, Clifford Clinton was probably the one who thought to ask for star witnesses in the car bombing trial from Caltech because Clifford had underwritten projects at Caltech concerning the development of nutritional foodstuffs to combat mass starvation.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Cool. Like bugs.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Oh not bugs. Cornflakes!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Pink slop!

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. It's bugs, it's gonna be bugs. We're all gonna be eating bugs.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

We're not all gonna be eating bugs.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

We won't know it though.

BEN KISSEL

We are gonna know it.

MARCUS PARKS

We're gonna be eating bugs.

BEN KISSEL

No one's eating bugs.

MARCUS PARKS

Well you're not going to live long enough to eat bugs.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He's not gonna even know.

BEN KISSEL

You're not gonna live long enough to eat bugs. I'm the healthiest one here.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh you're right, I forgot. You're right.

BEN KISSEL

Technically I am.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

What?

BEN KISSEL

Medically.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

What?

MARCUS PARKS

What?

BEN KISSEL

Theoretically.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You haven't seen a doctor in 20 years!

BEN KISSEL

Exactly.

MARCUS PARKS

Well it's at Caltech that Clinton was put on to Jack Parsons. And after Parsons became the star witness that put the car bomber behind bars, he dropped by Clifford Clinton's cafeteria where he found the greatest sci-fi minds of their generation just hanging out.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah man.

BEN KISSEL

All right, everyone's at Clifton's.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Eating soup.

BEN KISSEL

I love it.

MARCUS PARKS

Oh yeah, man. Split pea Wednesdays. Now these meetings were certainly impressive just for the amount of brain power in the room. It's sort of like that crew of directors who all hung out in the 70s, like Spielberg and Lucas and Scorsese and Coppola all fucking hanging out.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, it was like when Bill Gates and Clinton used to hang out with Epstein.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Epstein!

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, great minds. Great minds. But in Last Podcast land, these sci-fi meetings at Clifton's cafeteria are more known for being the place where a certain sci-fi writer supposedly made a bet with Robert Heinlein that he could make a religion out of science.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

All we do is replace gods with beakers.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah. All of this has been done around soup.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's a soup-based life.

BEN KISSEL

It is a soup-based life, isn't it?

MARCUS PARKS

Now that story isn't true but there's no doubt that had it not been for those meetings at Clifton's cafeteria, Jack Parsons would have never met L. Ron Hubbard.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

The ginger lover extraordinaire.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

The smartest man with the best body who's ever lived in the 20th century.

BEN KISSEL

There you go.

MARCUS PARKS

And L. Ron Hubbard may have never learned what he needed to learn in order to eventually create Scientology.

BEN KISSEL

Yes.

MARCUS PARKS

It's with the entrance of L. Ron Hubbard and the eventual destruction of Jack Parsons that will conclude our series in two weeks after the Thanksgiving holiday.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You must be careful who you pretend to be because we are who we pretend to be. And Jack Parsons, he will be emoliated like so much rocket fuel on his way to magical purity. And the problem is with every genius is that they are absolved into the godhead. While the artist who must a lot of times decipher genius works, they live on and on and on to smoke parliaments in space, thinking about how they used to be a clam.

BEN KISSEL

You sound like someone trying to explain that really shitty movie where everyone walks backwards.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

What?

MARCUS PARKS

That movie where everyone... Tenet?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Tenet.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, Tenet.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He's mixing it up with Inception.

BEN KISSEL

No, I'm talking Tenet. They all walk backwards.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Tenet is when everyone goes... It's hard for the people to see, you go... Tenet. You do the hand signal.

BEN KISSEL

It's the dumbest thing I've ever seen but everyone's like I think I get it. It's like no, it was just poorly written.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's just sparingly written.

BEN KISSEL

All right everyone. Well thank you so much for listening.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I can't believe he's pro teacher today.

MARCUS PARKS

I can't believe you're so pro teacher.

BEN KISSEL

I'm pro teacher everyday! Give them more money!

MARCUS PARKS

You're pro teacher?

BEN KISSEL

I got an education.

MARCUS PARKS

Pro gatekeeping.

BEN KISSEL

No! I just said he shouldn't blow up the goddamn building!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I thought that you were the lamplight of libertarian freedom and all you are is talking about all of these structures.

BEN KISSEL

Oh my god. First of all libertarianism no longer exists in any-

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You're just so happy to have all this infrastructure. What's happened to him? I thought it was always be cozy.

BEN KISSEL

You guys have been trying to speak for me for a long time.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah? All you do is talk.

BEN KISSEL

Thank god. Okay everyone. Well thank you for listening.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Unbelievable. Unbelievable.

BEN KISSEL

We will see everybody in Indianapolis and Grand Rapids this weekend. Marcus, he's not gonna be there but we're gonna have Jackie Zebrowski and Holden McNeely.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes.

BEN KISSEL

So they'll fulfill half of what Marcus can bring. So there you go.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I would say we'd need to others to completely fulfill you. But Eddie is busy.

BEN KISSEL

Yes, Ed Larson is on his honeymoon right now, enjoying his life and swimming in the water.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. And thanks to everyone who is being very understanding about me taking these shows off. I'm still good enough to record, still good enough to live a life but just not good enough to travel to two different cities and perform for six hours over the course of two days. So thank you very much for understanding.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah. I like about our fans is that they are fairly chill.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, you guys are fairly chill.

BEN KISSEL

They're cool. They're cool man, they're cool.

MARCUS PARKS

But thank you.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Sometimes they get riled up but so do I.

BEN KISSEL

All right everyone, well thank you for listening. Thank you for supporting all the shows here on the network. And what we're doing on Sirius has been so fun and you guys are just being wonderful. So hail yourselves!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Hail Satan.

MARCUS PARKS

Hail Gein!

BEN KISSEL

Megustalations everybody.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Find your path yourself. It's important.

BEN KISSEL

It is important.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Remember, you go out there every day, right, you fucking find your locus. And sometimes it takes some reading. Sometimes it takes getting your butthole licked in a mansion somewhere.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah. All of that is fine. But then he blew up a building. That's all I'm saying.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I can't believe that he is just-

BEN KISSEL

Don't commit an act of domestic terrorism.

MARCUS PARKS

It was his building.

BEN KISSEL

He would've stormed the capitol.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He said he wanted to become a police officer before our last episode of Side Stories.

BEN KISSEL

No, I didn't say that. I said when I was 9 years old and my mom told me not to.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He's changing.

BEN KISSEL Oh my god, all right.