Episode 504 - Charles Starkweather I

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You know, entertainment used to be easier.

BEN KISSEL

I don't think so.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

I completely disagree.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No, entertainment used to be easier.

BEN KISSEL

Everyone died driving.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No, I'm not talking about life.

BEN KISSEL

Or flying.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Lives were harder.

BEN KISSEL

Okay.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But doing songs and and TV shows were easier because we're going through this whole series, every song from this time period is like, (singing) 'Whoa, it's the ice cream dance!'

BEN KISSEL

Well but that was very unique for the time.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It was like, (singing) 'You gotta get yourself a scissor, you gotta put your hand on the construction paper, make a little turkey!' That's all they do.

BEN KISSEL

Well it was very difficult to be the first to do it though.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I guess.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You just had to have a crew cut and have a big fat face.

MARCUS PARKS

I mean it's better than the 40s, every song in the 40s was about a train or a train line. (singing) 'Gonna go on the Great Pacific Railway.

BEN KISSEL

Well what's wrong with that? I love train music.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

The charleston started in 1925?

BEN KISSEL

Fantastic. Welcome to the Last Podcast on the Left everyone. I am Ben hanging out with the inspiring Henry Zebrowski.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's me.

BEN KISSEL

And Marcus Parks.

MARCUS PARKS

Hi.

BEN KISSEL

Today's episode, now this is going to be really funky and really fresh. He has the last name of a businessman who has a briefcase full of photocopies of his own buttocks.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

What?

BEN KISSEL

But he is indeed much worse than that.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You're just talking about Tony Stark first of all. That's the first half of the joke.

BEN KISSEL

Yes indeed. And much like Tony Stark, in this story it weathers bullets.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Wow.

BEN KISSEL

Anyway we're onto Charles Starkweather Part One. Okay.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I thought we were supposed to be better after break.

BEN KISSEL

No, much worse. Oh I'm sorry, I'm getting the weather report. It's a chance of bullets. That's good. It's a plane, it's a bird, it's bullets.

MARCUS PARKS

Charles Starkweather was an American mass murderer from Lincoln, Nebraska who murdered 11 people at the age of 19 years old. According to the courts, 10 of those murders were committed with either the assistance or the blessing of his 14 year old girlfriend, Caril Ann Fugate.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah. Old Caril Ann. And she's gonna be coming up a lot. She is an interesting controversial figure in true crime. She's still out there, 78 years fun.

BEN KISSEL

Is she? Wow.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah. So hopefully she will respond and we can talk to her after this and see what her analysis of our analysis is.

BEN KISSEL

(old lady voice) I still think the election was stolen.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You're very close. You're very, very close.

BEN KISSEL

There's something horrifying about a 14 year old giving you their blessing. It's like what are you, a witch?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Kill, kill.

BEN KISSEL

All right.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But this story is something that we've wanted to do for a long time. We covered this I think a little bit when we did spree killers a million years ago.

MARCUS PARKS

Briefly. I mean that episode was mostly just rereadings of the Richard McBeef play.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes.

MARCUS PARKS

It was a different kind of show back then.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes it was. But now Charles Starkweather, of all of the characters in true crime too, I think is interesting how many movies and how much shit it has inspired, this story has inspired Natural Born Killers, the movie Badlands, Nebraska the album.

BEN KISSEL

No kidding?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, it's very bleak.

BEN KISSEL

Isn't that something?

MARCUS PARKS

Specifically Nebraska the song, yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes.

MARCUS PARKS

That was Bruce Springsteen's finest work in my opinion.

BEN KISSEL

I love that song.

MARCUS PARKS

I'm gonna get a lot of shit for that, I got a lot of shit for saying it on the suicide series on No Dogs In Space.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I love that album.

BEN KISSEL

I love Bruce Springsteen. He's the boss.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

We're Bossheads.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Marcus is sensitive.

MARCUS PARKS

You know what I finally figured out? I figured out that it's not Bruce Springsteen that I dislike, it's the E Street Band.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

What?!

BEN KISSEL

What the fuck?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

What the fuck?

BEN KISSEL

Marcus!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

BEN KISSEL

This is a rare chance where Marcus should be edited. He needs to be edited. Clarence? Wow.

MARCUS PARKS

I'm just saying I like Bruce Springsteen better when it's just him and a guitar.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Unbelievable. Wow.

BEN KISSEL

You are just simply the worst.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Wow.

BEN KISSEL

Wow. Cloudy with a chance of hatred.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's what he is. The weatherman, bringing the bummers.

MARCUS PARKS

Now Starkweather's killing spree technically took place in multiple locations over two months but while the first murder took place on December 1, 1957, the other 10 murders all occurred in a week long rampage in late January of the following year.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

His is the ultimate example of a rampage where the two of them had no order. It was not well planned.

BEN KISSEL

Right.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

This isn't like a bunch of guys in militia gear planning. It is actual childlike chaos with guns.

BEN KISSEL

All right, not Matt Damon, Ben Affleck. It's not The Town.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You're right.

MARCUS PARKS

You're right, correct. Now Starkweather's murder spree was the cause of much consternation in America when it occurred but not just because of the sheer volume of murders. Instead it was a confirmation of what was already a grave concern in this country. See America in the 50s was going through a moral panic concerning the perceived rise in juvenile delinquency.

BEN KISSEL

No!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Can you imagine your daughter wearing pants? Can you imagine eating peanut butter in the evening?

BEN KISSEL

Whoa! Delinquency.

MARCUS PARKS

And Charles Starkweather fit the bill of a stereotypical juvenile delinquent perfectly. He had a bad attitude, he couldn't or wouldn't hold a job, he raced hot rods, he smoked, and he was a fucking moron. And it was all done with a practiced James Dean pose.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And he's not exaggerating. He would spend most of his days practicing which used to be like very pop culture, everybody knew the James Dean pose, you've seen it in Bugs Bunny cartoons and shit.

BEN KISSEL

When he's laying on the side of the road as a corpse?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's this, it's the... You gotta get hands in your pockets.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's the eyebrows up and the head completely turned to almost 240°. You're trying to tell me how to be a kid? I was born in a gutter!

BEN KISSEL

It's a horrible way to drive, brother.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It is.

BEN KISSEL

That's all I'm saying.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Which is why he crashed his car on that fateful, fateful night.

BEN KISSEL

I know. I've been making references to that.

MARCUS PARKS

Well similarly Starkweather's alleged accomplice, 14 year old Caril Ann Fugate, she became a symbol of youth corrupted by youth, an example of how strong a bad influence can be even in the face of parents who tried to steer their child in the right direction.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Can you imagine a 17 year old thinking about voting?

BEN KISSEL

That's disgusting.

MARCUS PARKS

However the narrative was not as simple as all that. Caril Ann Fugate was basically neglected by her mother and stepfather and her overall guilt or innocence in at least 10 of the 11 murders is not cut and dry one way or the other.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Of all the couple killers that we have covered, especially just recently doing Karla Homolka and Paul Bernardo, you really see when the research goes in, once we start opening the case up, once we open her up and check under the hood, we start to see that in Karla's case she was definitely way more guilty than I had even thought than when we began the process of researching the show.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

This the more I research really shows it is very, very gray about Caril Ann Fugate's involvement in all this, mostly because she was fucking like 13 years old.

MARCUS PARKS

14. She was 14.

BEN KISSEL

Right, forget about it.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I mean they're all the same. You're just a blob.

BEN KISSEL

Right.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Until you're 35 years old, you don't count.

BEN KISSEL

Yep. That's true.

MARCUS PARKS

Now in a macro sense, the Starkweather murders were doubly shocking to America because it was felt that if they could happen in Nebraska, then it could happen anywhere.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Whoa.

BEN KISSEL

Ooh, it's like New York City.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But it's Nebraska.

BEN KISSEL

Right.

MARCUS PARKS

However what many of these people either didn't know or willfully ignored was the fact that the Midwest in the 50s was the scene of some of the most infamous and gruesome murders of the entire decade.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh we know now. I feel like that has become such a meme, that's such a thing now about how dangerous the Midwest is. I think it's important to remember that LA is also dangerous, okay?

BEN KISSEL

It is dangerous.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And you can get shot here.

BEN KISSEL

It's different.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh, come to the Midwest, that's where we're eating all the kids' fucking pussies.

BEN KISSEL

Oh my goodness!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Everyone's making a bone altar, isn't that fun? We still do fucked up shit in LA.

BEN KISSEL

Well yeah, nothing to be proud of I don't think. But in the Midwest it is overwhelmingly kinder for the most part but it's just a few offbeat characters that cause massive amounts of damage.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh this is about an offbeat character.

BEN KISSEL

Yes.

MARCUS PARKS

That's how you're describing John Wayne Gacy or Jeffrey Dahmer, it is an offbeat character. A bit of a nut.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes. A crazy guy. He's that crazy guy.

BEN KISSEL

Okay hold on, you're telling me that John Wayne Gacy isn't offbeat?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No. So you're saying they're all the neighbor from Empty Nest?

BEN KISSEL

Yes.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Remember him?

BEN KISSEL

Of course.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, I remember him.

BEN KISSEL

Also I think he was just gay and they're like, 'Something's wrong with that guy.'

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He's crazy.

MARCUS PARKS

No, he had a bit of a James Dean pose.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

He did.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Like this. And now I'm just gonna try and talk the whole rest of the show just like James Dean. You don't understand me, dad. I need a leather jacket because it's cold.

BEN KISSEL

Actually you know what? It's so funny you're asking me if I need a ride. You know what? I'm actually gonna walk it. I'm gonna walk it. Thank you. I'm not gonna be driven by James Dean.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yes. He died in a tragic car accident for those of you under the age of 40.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Everyone knows that.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I don't know if they do.

BEN KISSEL

Whatever.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Some people don't even know the holocaust happened.

BEN KISSEL

Yes, they do. But they just pretended it didn't so they can feel better about their political views.

MARCUS PARKS

No, kids don't know the holocaust happened. They really don't know. It's crazy.

BEN KISSEL

Well congratulations kids, it did.

MARCUS PARKS

There's kids that say they didn't know about the Holocaust until they listened to our Josef Mengele episode. It's not taught.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's not good.

MARCUS PARKS

Well in addition to Starkweather's reign of terror, you also had the mass murder of the Clutter family in Kansas a few years later in 1959, of course that was the subject of 'In Cold Blood'.

BEN KISSEL

That was a mess.

MARCUS PARKS

Even more famously, the 50s was also the time of Ed Gein, whose crimes in Wisconsin were discovered the same year Starkweather committed his first murder. And that was just 500 miles away, a paltry distance in the Midwest.

BEN KISSEL

Wait, hold on a second. Miles are the same.

MARCUS PARKS

It's relevant.

BEN KISSEL

No, there's no difference.

MARCUS PARKS

It's absolutely. Have you ever tried driving 500 miles from New York City to down south and driving 500 miles from Milwaukee to fucking Lincoln, Nebraska?

BEN KISSEL

You've never been dumber. It is the same.

MARCUS PARKS

No, it's not. One takes longer. One takes longer. And distance is relative, my friend.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

This is called coastal elite math. This is coastal elite math and he's in it now, we have to break him out of it.

MARCUS PARKS

I'm not in it at all. I'm talking from Texas perspective. I can do 500 miles in Texas easy. 500 miles on the east coast, that's a different matter altogether, my friend.

BEN KISSEL

Fantastic.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He wrote the script.

BEN KISSEL

I know.

MARCUS PARKS

However serial killing wasn't the big concern in the 50s like it was in the 70s, nor was mass murder the main concern like it is today. Instead the twin enemies of the American way of life during that decade were communism, naturally-

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No!

MARCUS PARKS

And the aforementioned juvenile delinquency.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Can you imagine putting a soft toed shoe on to go outside?

BEN KISSEL

Unbelievable. It sounds a lot like today as well, doesn't it?

MARCUS PARKS

Now that's an old man statement.

BEN KISSEL

I'm 41.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes, technically. This is when I think once you hit 41 you can start calling people delinquents.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah. And I'm actually flipping it and reversing it, I say get on my lawn, let me see ya! Hey kids, get on my lawn, all right?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Let's not go to the eager man's house anymore, Billy.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

See concerning the scourge of juvenile delinquency in the 50s, the alarm had been sounded years before Charles Starkweather murdered 11 people. In the summer of 1954 a gang of teenage boys in New York City beat one man to death and drowned another seemingly just for the thrill of it.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's because the dudes lost the rumble and it's so hard once you get in the middle of that tap circle, if you can't do that (drumroll). You can't do that, you lose. Then you have to volunteer to be raped and drowned by that group of boys.

BEN KISSEL

Gangs aren't like West Side Story.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah they are.

BEN KISSEL

No, they use guns.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Me and MS-13 have been working on their choreography for a minute now.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And I'll tell you what, South Street Miguel, he's incredible and the light that comes from him when he's the Music Man? I think it's going to turn the whole gang around.

BEN KISSEL

You act in jest but I think that could actually help.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I keep trying to offer theater classes to the gangs and they keep saying we're not ready.

BEN KISSEL

It's almost like you're not Michelle Pfeiffer.

MARCUS PARKS

Well these two murders in Brooklyn led the local press to unimaginatively nickname the group the Brooklyn Thrill Killers. See during that summer, authorities in Manhattan had been cracking down on what they called the undesirables. This was code for homeless people, gay men, and alcoholics. So when the persecution came from up top, the targeted individuals fled to Brooklyn.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Is that why Brooklyn is this way?

BEN KISSEL

So cool and fun?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, like it's fun?

MARCUS PARKS

But when they arrived they discovered that the Brooklyn Thrill Killers had already been on patrol quote "cleaning the streets of bums" as they put it.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's not good.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

However the Thrill Killers' activities had mostly at this point been limited to dousing homeless men in gasoline and setting them on fire or chasing women around the streets with whips.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Obviously it's a terrible crime to do.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But when they say cleaning up the streets, I feel like that's the opposite of cleaning the streets. I feel like a burning human actually makes the streets very dirty.

BEN KISSEL

Very messy, horrible. Absolutely. That reminds me of the first season of the first episode of The Flash where they were killing homeless people and The Flash had to stop them from doing that.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

By running fast?

BEN KISSEL

Yeah and doing a series of other different kind of weird things.

MARCUS PARKS

Henry, he's also a police scientist. He knows what he's doing.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

What?

MARCUS PARKS

He's a police scientist.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He brings a fucking microscope out to the crime scene?

BEN KISSEL

He can.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

What does that even mean?

BEN KISSEL

He's The Flash.

MARCUS PARKS

He's a police scientist. I don't know how else to describe it to you.

BEN KISSEL

He's a cool guy.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But then he just runs fast?

BEN KISSEL

You know what The Flash does.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I've never understood The Flash. No, I don't. That's what The Flash does, he runs fast.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah he runs fast but he also uses science to make situations happen. He can wave his arms really fast and it creates wind.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He's Bill Nye the fast guy?

MARCUS PARKS

Well after this group of four boys killed two men and were arrested for their crimes, the media had a field day with these juvenile delinquents and made up for the somewhat dull nickname of the Brooklyn Thrill Killers. Once the boys hit the newspapers, one outlet referred to them as quote "those terrible youth".

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I feel like it's my mom going, 'Oh those terrible youth.'

MARCUS PARKS

And a true crime magazine went even further, calling the ringleader the quote "Boy Hitler of Flatbush Avenue".

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Kill him!

BEN KISSEL

Boy Hitler, wow.

MARCUS PARKS

The adventures of Boy Hitler!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Ah yes, look at him. It's the final solution to eat all of the red jelly beans.

BEN KISSEL

Sounds like the documentary the old man was watching in Up.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I also feel like again in Brooklyn, is that where the hairstyle comes from?

MARCUS PARKS

The Boy Hitler? Yeah, I guess it did come from the Proud Boys.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

The nazi cut is real big down there.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, it really is. There's a lot of them here in the neighborhood.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

It's a lot like VICE as an entity, it started ironic and then it just turned into bigotry.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Weird.

MARCUS PARKS

Well this Boy Hitler nickname came from the suggestion that the boys were neo nazis due to their obviously fascistic techniques. This was also highly ironic considering how all four boys were Jewish. But as far as where Boy Hitler had obtained those whips they had used to chase around women-

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, where do you get some of those?

MARCUS PARKS

He'd ordered them from ads in the back of either a horror or a true crime comic book.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah dude, this really comes all the way back around to comic books.

BEN KISSEL

Interesting.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's really strange. You could just get a whip from a comic book back then.

BEN KISSEL

Can we add to our merch page?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I tried.

BEN KISSEL

That would be awesome.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Apparently need a license to sell whips.

BEN KISSEL

No!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I mean that's what I was told one time I left my fly down out by the beach.

BEN KISSEL

You are too much tonight.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, I'm feeling it.

MARCUS PARKS

And as it just so happened, the court psychiatrist for the Brooklyn Thrill Killers trial was the infamous Dr. Fredric Wertham.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

We don't know. We don't know.

BEN KISSEL

Oh!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Wow! Yay!

BEN KISSEL

Ooh!

MARCUS PARKS

Now in the true crime world, Wertham really is one of the architects of the 20th century. This guy is massively influential.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Okay.

MARCUS PARKS

Now in the true crime world Wertham is best known as the man who was charged with determining the legal sanity of serial killer Albert Fish.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Not only is this man sane but I am his best friend!

BEN KISSEL

You'll have to recuse yourself.

MARCUS PARKS

And Wertham is the reason why we know so much about the bizarre life of Albert Fish prior to his capture, the life filled with needles, paddles, monkeys, and peewees.

BEN KISSEL

Ugh, my gosh.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Ugh. A lot of people say oh, Dr. Wertham, what is your superpower that allows you to be so good at your job? And it's because I do not suffer from a sense of ickiness.

BEN KISSEL

Oh you don't?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Tell me about what you put in your penis again.

BEN KISSEL

Oh my goodness. You can just see him being like, 'I'm also a stud finder.' And then he just points right to Albert Fish's butt.

MARCUS PARKS

But in pop culture, Dr. Fredric Wertham is best known as the author of a book called 'The seduction of the Innocent' which claimed that comic books were the number one cause of the wave of highly violent juvenile delinquency sweeping the country in the 50s, adding that Batman and Robin were super gay for good measure.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He wasn't entirely wrong.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, he was. He was saying that Batman was a pedophile and that Robin was his groomed boy. That's not true.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's not true?

MARCUS PARKS

No!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's how I viewed it.

BEN KISSEL

They never had sex. Not that I know of.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I felt like it was a beneficial relationship and in the end I'm glad that Robin in the end, he enjoyed his position.

BEN KISSEL

Well he turns into Nightwing.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Now he did.

BEN KISSEL

They're trying to make a Nightwing movie but then they realized nobody cares.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Nobody gives a fucking shit about Robin.

BEN KISSEL

Isn't that too bad?

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I'm sorry, Fernando. He's very pro-Robin.

BEN KISSEL

I know. I like Robin.

MARCUS PARKS

There's a whole Robin thing going on right now that you just stepped into that you need to step out of right now.

BEN KISSEL

Step out of it!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Whatever you nerds want. Whatever you want.

MARCUS PARKS

I'm just saying you need to back off of Robin right now, bro. I'm telling you this for your own fucking good.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I'm backing away. My hands are up!

BEN KISSEL

Nightwing. It's kind of exciting.

MARCUS PARKS

Well in the Brooklyn Thrill Killers' trial, Wertham said that Boy Hitler's actions were partly motivated by a graphic BDSM crime comic called Nights of Horror which featured torture, humiliation, bondage, flagellation, bloodletting, foot worship, and just a couple of nipples.

BEN KISSEL

Every single thing that will make me hard is in this comic book.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I like it. I love how the 1950s again, there's so much weird shit embedded in that decade.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

I don't wanna be in that one, I don't like that decade very much.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's very dark.

MARCUS PARKS

It's dark.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

The 1950s feels very dark.

BEN KISSEL

But in the background in all of these living rooms where all of these people are doing these wicked things is Leave It To Beaver. The backdrop is all this pure innocence and it's just weird.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's really weird. You see it in Blue Velvet, he nails it to me, that dichotomy of it where there's so much of that. But also at the same time BDSM, now we know it's like so what you get spanked? So what someone puts clamps on your nipples?

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah. You have a red bottom right now?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Rosy-cheeked podcaster found strangled to death in latex bubble.

BEN KISSEL

Oh my goodness.

MARCUS PARKS

Interestingly Nights of Horror, that BDSM comic, it was drawn by Superman co-creator Joe Shuster at a low point in his career. This was not too long after a court ruled that DC owed him and Jerry Siegel nothing for the creation of the most popular superhero of all time because they take technically signed the rights away in the 30s for the paltry sum of $150.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Worth it.

BEN KISSEL

They made Superman for 150 bucks?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I think later on, didn't later on they got some settlement where they got paid out like $100,000 a year but it was like nothing?

BEN KISSEL

Even then.

MARCUS PARKS

It was like in the 90s or the 2000s or something like that. And even now trying to use Superman in a comic book is really difficult because you have to go through the Siegel and Shuster families.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

But concerning Joe Shuster's post Superman work, Nights of Horror was used as evidence of Boy Hitler's quote unquote "sexual perversion" and was actually used partly to convict him and one of the other boys for murder.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Now they did commit murders.

MARCUS PARKS

Yes.

BEN KISSEL

I am here, I am the defense attorney for these children. Can we stop calling him Boy Hitler please? I find it is making the jury think of him as Hitler that's not necessarily beneficial.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Well honestly I would be down and we all would agree to stop calling him Boy Hitler if he'd put the arm down.

MARCUS PARKS

Overruled.

BEN KISSEL

Oh okay.

MARCUS PARKS

Now Boy Hitler was certainly some sort of psychopath because while Nights of Horror was more masturbation material, his worst crimes were actually inspired by superhero comics because he saw himself as a crime fighting hero who was actually helping police in their quest to clean the streets of undesirables.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And they didn't do anything to refute that by allowing it to continue and saying actively that he was helping clean up the streets.

BEN KISSEL

Interesting indeed. I wonder what his superhero name would be.

MARCUS PARKS

Boy Hitler.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Boy Hitler.

BEN KISSEL

Oh.

MARCUS PARKS

But as far as causing murders and the like, crime and superhero comics merely gave the Brooklyn Thrill Killers a template to work from, because had these types not had the comics or the movies or the TV shows, the urges would come out one way or another.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Humans are very creative.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. Well if anything the argument should be that crime comics destroyed imaginations rather than morals because as far as I know Albert Fish didn't read any jolting tales of tension told in the EC tradition.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He invented them.

BEN KISSEL

Get on my lawn. Please god, get on my lawn.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You know what he did? You know Albert Fish did that none of you guys have the fucking guts to do that complaint on the internet? He went out and made his dreams real.

BEN KISSEL

Nightmares to be fair. Also oh my god, look at the moon. Is that a small Hitler stache? Boy Hitler must be around .

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He's here!

BEN KISSEL

Oh my god!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And I'm so glad this year they're finally revamping the whole thing with Girl Hitler.

BEN KISSEL

I think that's fantastic.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I just think it's so brave of them.

BEN KISSEL

Representation.

MARCUS PARKS

One man who did love horror and true crime comics however was Charles Starkweather.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's me! I like them! I like them violent and I like them with the tits out and I like them with vroom vroom. I like them when everybody's smoking cigarettes. I like them!

BEN KISSEL

That's fine, it's artistic. Just, you know, they're fiction.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah fiction to get me some dinner, you bitch.

BEN KISSEL

Okay, very rude.

MARCUS PARKS

Well Starkweather's favorite genre was quote "comics with knives".

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I hate comics with spoons. What is this some kinda soup restaurant?

BEN KISSEL

That sucks. Yeah, I hate soupy comics.

MARCUS PARKS

In other words, Starkweather was as I said a bit of a moron.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes.

MARCUS PARKS

And he wasn't really there to appreciate say the artistry of a solid Wally Wood story.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I'm going to do some readings today that's really going to show the thinking level of Charles Starkweather, where he's at. Because one thing I will say about all of these crimes especially now more and more I read about Caril Ann Fugate's story too, I do feel sympathy for her. But everybody was very fucking stupid in this story that was not murdered. All the murdered people are innocent, blah, blah, blah.

BEN KISSEL

Not blah, blah, blah. They are victims of a madman.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Well her family, there's two different sides of stories about her family and what happens, why they got murdered, right.

BEN KISSEL

Okay.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But Charles Starkweather stupided his way into being one of the most infamous names in true crime.

BEN KISSEL

And that is the scariest thing of all.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes.

BEN KISSEL

It can all come to an end no matter how hard you work, someone dumb with a gun.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's all. Just somebody with no skills, no viable career.

BEN KISSEL

True fear.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No happiness, nothing inside of them but rage and stupidity and comic books.

BEN KISSEL

Drop out of school now, stop everything. It all ends. No, I'm just joking.

MARCUS PARKS

Well while Fredric Wertham's 'Seduction of the Innocent' panic occurred before Charles Starkweather's spree, a thick file was certainly found amongst Fredric Wertham's effects after he died concerning the Starkweather-Fugate murders.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I wish that we could have spent some time together because I do believe we would have enjoyed a hamburger, me and Charlie Starkweather, just enjoying each other in the summer afternoon, having sex with a little girl together. I love being a doctor for serial killers.

BEN KISSEL

Just one hamburger, just you and Charlie splitting it and then your lips kiss in the middle over a tomato.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Lady and the Tramp.

BEN KISSEL

Yes indeed.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I tried to do that with Natalie with a burrito the other day and she said no.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah. It's disgusting.

MARCUS PARKS

Oh god. From the beginning of the burrito? Like you gotta chomp through the entire-

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Ugh.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You guys both get a knuckle.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

But before we get to those murders, let's acknowledge our source for this series. Today we've got 'Wasteland: The Savage Odyssey of Charles Starkweather and Caril Ann Fugate' by Michael Newton. It's another solid and well researched true crime narrative. Recommended.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I also was reading from Caril Fugate's entire storyline, it's 'The Twelfth Victim' by Linda M. Battisti. And it's it's very pro Caril Ann.

MARCUS PARKS

Oh yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Interesting.

MARCUS PARKS

She's got her supporters definitely.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

She does.

BEN KISSEL

I also read from something called Wikipedia which I think is a pedophile who hunts kids that can read. And it was very interesting.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And that's why it's safe to be dumb.

MARCUS PARKS

And so without further ado, let's get into the story of Charles Starkweather and his alleged accomplice Caril Ann Fugate. Now if I were to compare Charles Starkweather's general demeanor and outlook on life to anyone, I'd choose Joel Rifkin because both men blamed every bad thing they ever did on the relentless bullying that they received growing up.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Well it's just something about listening to the testimony of an older man constantly just being like, 'If everything, honestly my whole life turned to ship when I was 4.'

BEN KISSEL

Right.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It sounds like you never had a chance, dude.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Well they had a chance not to become serial killers.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes.

BEN KISSEL

We were all bullied. It's tough, it is hard to overcome.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's about being hyper focused on this perceived thing that then became your entire personality.

BEN KISSEL

Right.

MARCUS PARKS

While Rifkin was adopted, Charles was raised by his birth parents Guy and Helen Starkweather. Born with conspicuous red hair in 1938 as the third of seven kids, Charles was raised in a perfectly average lower middle class household and was considered a normal child until he entered preschool.

BEN KISSEL

Red hair is beautiful.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Red hair is fine.

BEN KISSEL

Red hair is gorgeous.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

When I was a little boy, the pictures of me as a little boy I'm just so fucking evil looking because I have the red hair. The red hair does make you look like a little fucking demon.

BEN KISSEL

No, it doesn't. It doesn't.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It does.

BEN KISSEL

No. Problem Child really set the redheads back quite a bit.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It did. But Charlie Starkweather also didn't help.

BEN KISSEL

Right.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. That year though, the year that Charles entered preschool, he was playing cowboys and Indians when he fell and hit his head on a washtub which puts him on the ever growing list of killers who had childhood head injuries.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That one wasn't that bad.

MARCUS PARKS

It wasn't that bad. It wasn't too terribly traumatic. It's nothing compared to say the blackouts and seizures suffered by John Wayne Gacy in his childhood.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's just because he was a fucking little chubby bitch.

BEN KISSEL

He was offbeat.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

But Starkweather fell apart when he entered school and the bullying began. See like Joel Rifkin, Charles Starkweather had a safe place that existed before he had to interact with the rest of society. Starkweather called his-

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

The enchanted forest!

BEN KISSEL

Oh that's not creative, everyone had the enchanted forest.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You don't know me! I'm out there, me and them trees have a special relationship because you see that one over there?

BEN KISSEL

What?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's got a hole in it.

BEN KISSEL

Why?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's my wife.

BEN KISSEL

Oh my goodness.

MARCUS PARKS

It was just a wooded area behind his house that he played in before he encountered the relentless bullies of elementary school.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Because both of them have the same bullshit thing of like the halcyon days when I was two years old. You don't remember. You just moved. Yeah I'm sorry you moved, bro. It's not that fucking traumatic.

BEN KISSEL

Well it can be traumatizing.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah whatever, dude. Get over it. Don't kill a bunch of people.

BEN KISSEL

Don't kill a bunch of people.

MARCUS PARKS

Well besides the red hair, Charles was terribly shy and awkward in addition to having a speech impediment that caused him to switch his Hs with his Ws. For example, he would say 'wouse' instead of house.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Again, he was a target for a reason in many ways as a child because I've never heard of that speech impediment.

MARCUS PARKS

I haven't either. It's bizarre.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Never heard of that.

BEN KISSEL

It happens. It's Nebraska.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's Nebraska.

MARCUS PARKS

During a speech in front of his class in which the kids giggled at his strange speech patterns, Charles had a panic attack which quickly turned into the raging hatred that would spew forth from Starkweather for the rest of his short life. The speech impediment and red hair however weren't the only sources of bullying. He had a trifecta here.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Starkweather was also massively bowlegged, wide enough where in Charlie's words, a pig could run through without touching the sides.

BEN KISSEL

See that's cool!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

We now know that moseying is cool because pop culture made it cool.

BEN KISSEL

Mosey around.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah. And mostly it's just because pop culture, we see these things, all the cowboys, that's cool. At the time it made him a victim of everyone else because he was massively bowlegged. Actually that's what is interesting is that he was correct, he did have oval legs and anything could squirt between there.

BEN KISSEL

Well it's kind of nice in case you're in a rodeo or something, have to avoid kind of a horse or a bear or a bull.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Or crawl in mother.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, it's kind of good like that.

MARCUS PARKS

With all this put together, Charles would later say that his first day of school made him rebel against the entire human race.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's like him and fucking GG Allin.

BEN KISSEL

I understand where he's coming from. He's quite upset, people were too mean to him.

MARCUS PARKS

Well he did later at least admit that this wasn't a great excuse for murdering 11 people.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

There's a lot of better excuses like going to war, you can kill many people over there, it's a great excuse. If somebody touches your car.

BEN KISSEL

Sure.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You cut his hand off, you bash his head in. Fuck you, that's my car, that's my second home!

BEN KISSEL

I'm not sure if he had the opportunity to go to war. Is this Korean wartime here? 50s?

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, he would have been able to go to the Korean War I think.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, he could have done that bowlegged, he could have gotten on one of those little bombs.

MARCUS PARKS

Nah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

They didn't want him.

MARCUS PARKS

He woulda been 4F, he would have been bowlegged. You can't get in the army if you're bowlegged.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But the thing is, isn't that easier to ride the turret of a tank?

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, that's what I was thinking.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That'd be kinda fun on the outside, then you're the lookout.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I see the other guy, he's over there!

BEN KISSEL

Perfect.

MARCUS PARKS

Well back then Starkweather used this anger as motivation to beat the other kids whenever he felt a hint of bullying. And since he was also a moron, he had that special kind of easily confused, violent sensitivity that can be particularly dangerous.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He's just the type of guy that will fight you if you bump into him at the bar. He is that type. He became at the age of 5 ready to fight anybody within arms distance of him.

BEN KISSEL

Right. And blaming everybody else for all of his qualms.

MARCUS PARKS

Charles would also create provocation when none was present and for this he was called a brute and a beast. But since he was also a bit of a worm, his classmates' favorite name to call Charles was quote "redheaded bowlegged peckerwood".

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I find it again to be long.

BEN KISSEL

It is long.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I don't know how many times people say that, they yell that at me. But by the time that they're done with it I'm gone.

BEN KISSEL

That's very true. Or you're punching him or something.

MARCUS PARKS

It was more of a chant like (chanting) redheaded bowlegged peckerwood! Redheaded bowlegged peckerwood! And then they'd chase him around and they'd say it over and over again.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

And he'd cry and cry.

BEN KISSEL

(chanting) We're creating a demon!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

We're doing it, we're helping him. They did call him woodpecker too which is funny.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Woodpecker, wood. I like it.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Again I feel like if you lean in, that's how you become a cool guy.

BEN KISSEL

It's really not that bad of an insult.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You gotta lean in and people call you woodpecker, you start calling yourself woodpecker.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You're gonna be a stunt cock in a stag film.

BEN KISSEL

You could do that. I pecked your mom last night. Sure I'm a woodpecker, I pecked your mom last night. Something like that.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Whoa.

BEN KISSEL

Whoa, throw it back at them.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Whoa.

MARCUS PARKS

And by the time he's 20 his name's just Woody and all of a sudden he's Woody Starkweather. I'd fucking hang out with Woody Starkweather all night long.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Suck it, suck it. Talking about hot rods, gum, all our favorite songs, the ice cream dance, the hot dog dance, there is the cornpop shuffle.

BEN KISSEL

Oh you're gonna love that. Cloudy with a chance of come.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh man. Bring your umbrellas.

BEN KISSEL

Absolutely.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

There is a 20% chance of come.

BEN KISSEL

Woody Woodpecker, he could go by Woody Woodpecker and that could be embarrassing too. He may have just been a failure no matter what.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. I think he was set up for it. But on the other hand it's also possible that Charles wasn't telling the whole truth about how tough he was when he was a kid because as we'll see again and again, the word of Charles Starkweather cannot be trusted.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And I'll put Charlie, this motherfucker partially not only the words can't be trusted, it's not just because he's some kind of master manipulator, he's a fucking moron.

BEN KISSEL

Right.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I sometimes actually think that he just doesn't know what happened to him, you know what I mean?

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He's so truly, probably these days you'd say he had some form of mental learning disability.

BEN KISSEL

Sure.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Because he can't think.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, he also had severe myopia. So he also couldn't really see without coke bottle glasses which of course he never wore because that made him look like a nerd.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

So he's just this literally bumbling moron bumping into people and getting into fights because he can't see them.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He's blind and then he gets into fights because he's bumping into you.

BEN KISSEL

Right. Okay.

MARCUS PARKS

Well school records showed only five instances of disciplinary actions throughout Charles' entire time in school. And while it's possible that most of the fights happened off school grounds, it's more likely that Charles fabricated his fighting persona to fit the teenage rebel image that he created for himself by the time he was caught.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I'll always remember my gang. It was me, Rocky Marciano, Bugs Bunny, and this floating checkerboard.

BEN KISSEL

Really? No kidding?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I was like yo, king me, king me! To this checkerboard, right.

BEN KISSEL

To the checkers, yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And no one else saw it. Crazy gang I was a part of.

BEN KISSEL

It sounds like it. It's tough to sweep his leg I bet cause of the bowleggedness. And he's a weeble wobble, I bet you he doesn't fall down.

MARCUS PARKS

No.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's our power with low centers of gravity.

MARCUS PARKS

Really Charles was just another oddball scorned by society in the vein of so many killers before and after who chose the easy road of turning that rage into violence rather than finding a more suitable outlet. Now when the bullying at his first school got to be too much, Charles transferred to another school and immediately got into a fight with a kid named Bob Von Busch, the first of many people in the story with highly colorful names.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

There's good names in this episode.

BEN KISSEL

I do like that.

MARCUS PARKS

But even though they fought, Bob and Charles became fast friends because Bob considered Charles to be quote "the roughest guy he'd ever fought" and a hell of a lot of fun. Just rough, a rough man, very rough man.

BEN KISSEL

These are sixth graders, right?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I hung out with girls. I like girls, I don't like all the tugging and the wrestling and the men slapping each other. Why do men do that?

BEN KISSEL

You toughen it up, you toughen up the tush.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Why you always grabbing each other? All the men are slapping and it's always like oh you punched me the hardest, Dave, you're my best friend now. And then they spend all day going (grunting) I'm gonna get you, I wanna kiss.

BEN KISSEL

We used to see how long we could put each other in wrestling moves like the Sharpshooter and Figure Four.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

See that's cool but again it's butt on butt.

BEN KISSEL

Yes.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. Kids would get tied up a lot when I was growing up, like hogtied.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's what BTK, that's what he fucking did, that fed into his whole brain.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah but we'd do it to each other and then you'd squeal and you'd squeal and you'd really freak out, then all the kids would laugh and they finally untie you and you do it to another kid and they'd squeal and squeal.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

And then all of a sudden two hours are gone and you got an afternoon there.

BEN KISSEL

Boom, a full afternoon. It's a vicious cycle of somebody else suffering and you're just happy it's not you.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But you know that they did that to Dennis Rader and then they had to stop playing the game because every single time they tied him up, he'd get a little fucking erection.

BEN KISSEL

Well that's also a test.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Well yeah, that's the problem is that all the boys have to go wee-wah, oh I didn't know the turkey was gonna finish once we tied him up.

MARCUS PARKS

Perhaps what brought Bob and Charles together most though was hotrods. With this obsession Charles pretty much became the epitome of the 1950s juvenile delinquent cliché, all dungarees and cigarettes and gasoline.

BEN KISSEL

Oh my.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Vroom vroom, honk honk. He loved that shit. And guess what he was bad at? Driving.

BEN KISSEL

I could see it, yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Guess what, he was really bad at it. We're gonna get into this now but they tried to make him a mechanic.

BEN KISSEL

He didn't like it.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He was stupid. Because the thing is that actually being a mechanic is a really complex job.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Absolutely it is. Now you have to be a computer scientist.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes.

MARCUS PARKS

See in the mid 50s, Bob Von Busch and Charles Starkweather began stealing cars for fun and profit. And Charles started participating in games of chicken, proudly boasting that he never once swerved first.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's what he always says, that's what everybody who is chicken says.

BEN KISSEL

Really stupid.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's what they all say. I never swerved.

MARCUS PARKS

But he couldn't see so he didn't know when to swerve.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That was his secret power. No one knew. What they don't know is I can't see shit! I can't even see the danger, so I don't feel it.

BEN KISSEL

Right, okay. Kind of a superpower in its own right.

MARCUS PARKS

Now as such, Charles gained the admiration of a whole new set of peers, the hot rod set.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Whoa, cool.

MARCUS PARKS

This however wasn't enough to fix his overall state of being, that of a timid, withdrawn, sullen, and resentful teenager who was prone to temper tantrums and extreme acts of cruelty. In one fight that Charles started, he pushed the loser's face into a gravel driveway, grinding it into the rocks until the kid was shredded and bloody. The school nurse who witnessed the fight and apparently did nothing until it was over said that Charles did it with all the passion of a man changing a flat tire.

BEN KISSEL

I would like to point out I am the nurse, I am not a referee. I show up at the end.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I'm not doing a 10 count, I just wipe up blood.

BEN KISSEL

That's it.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

This is all in retrospect, right. They're talking about him as a boy.

BEN KISSEL

Is that not true? Did he even really do that?

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, there was a report about that. Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, that one he did. But again they add all the things afterwards cause now you know he's a mass killer.

BEN KISSEL

Right.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But I feel like at the time they all just assume well this kid is gonna literally stupid himself to death.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Right.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Like he is going to back his car, accidentally it's gonna be in reverse, he's gonna start the car, he's gonna go off a bridge.

BEN KISSEL

Sure.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

A pallet of bricks is gonna fall on him at a construction site. He's going to fall through a sewer grate, down an open elevator shaft. He's gonna die that way. He's not going to be a criminal, he's not gonna make it to being a criminal.

BEN KISSEL

I mean 1950s Nebraska, half the way to pass time is just to rub your face in gravel anyway.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. Well it's like Ben said earlier, it's extraordinarily easy to die in a car accident in the 1950s. There's a whole genre of songs that's just about people dying in car accidents.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, Dead Man's Curves.

MARCUS PARKS

Leader of the Pack.

BEN KISSEL

Yep. I Can't Drive '55.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

My Boyfriend's a Grave. Rudy Tooty Had a Miscarriage in my Hoody.

BEN KISSEL

That's a bad one. That one's crazy. I didn't even know she was pregnant. It's a surprise ending there. The River actually by Bruce Springsteen has a little car scene in it.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

(singing) We'd go down to the river, we'd go down to the river.

BEN KISSEL

It's a very sad, sad song. If anyone is listening to the lyrics of that song, if it is your parents favorite song, they hate each other. Cause that entire relationship is-

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's about killing a woman next to a river.

BEN KISSEL

It's miserable.

MARCUS PARKS

Now Charles Starkweather's inner life was all about obsessing over constant failures.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And I have a good quote. I have the exact quote, can I read it?

MARCUS PARKS

Sure!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Because he was obsessed with this, right, and he believed that he failed in life and the reason why he failed was because "I haven't ever eaten in a high class restaurant, never seen the New York Yankees play or been to Los Angeles or New York City or other places that books and magazines say are wonderful places to be. There hadn't been a chance for me to have this opportunity or privilege for the best things in life."

BEN KISSEL

What? It's not Narnia, they're real. You just go there. You just gotta go.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Wait a second, I thought a dwarf had to show up with a ring, like a magic ring, a guy with hairy feet. And you guys go down there like oh we better do something, there's a dragon in New York City!

BEN KISSEL

You're dumber than Boy Hitler.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, he's smart.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He's smart.

MARCUS PARKS

He believed that he constantly failed just because life wasn't fair, it was the classic loser's excuse.

BEN KISSEL

He just didn't like growing up in Nebraska.

MARCUS PARKS

No, no.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes.

MARCUS PARKS

But he thought that growing up in Nebraska was something that was done to him.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Again, he's a baby. He's a fucking shithead.

BEN KISSEL

Right.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

His whole thing is that everybody wronged him because he has red hair.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. Well as such, Charles dropped out of high school at the age of 16 and got a job with his brother Rodney as a garbage man for $35 a week.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Ooh, not bad.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But they had to fire him because he kept harassing people on the route, he'd yell at people about their garbage and stuff.

BEN KISSEL

What would he yell about their garbage?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You're putting all this stinky fucking bullshit out here for me!

BEN KISSEL

I got nothing but respect for you, garbage man, but you're the garbage man, you gotta pick up the garbage, man.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You put doodies in this bag.

BEN KISSEL

No, I have dogs. The dog shat in the house.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You disgust me.

BEN KISSEL

No, you get paid fairly well.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Am I some kind of doody fucking sleigh man?

BEN KISSEL

I didn't make you a garbage man! It's a good job, you gotta work for 25 years and then you can retire forever.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I didn't know that.

BEN KISSEL

Then you go to Florida.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I shouldn't have quit then, right?

BEN KISSEL

I know, then you go to Boca Raton.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I made so many mistakes, I'm never gonna get to the World's Fair.

BEN KISSEL

No you won't.

MARCUS PARKS

Well after he quit, he got a job at a newspaper warehouse baling papers and unloading trucks. Even though the warehouse job was extremely low skill, his boss is still described him as let's use the word mentally challenged, let's use that phrase. They used a different word.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

They were old medical terms that we don't use anymore.

BEN KISSEL

Intriguing.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. Well from what his bosses said, you'd have to tell Charles two or three times how to do something before he'd finally get it. It earned him the title the dumbest man the newspaper ever employed.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Hey, question here, question here. What are we printing here? What is this? Are these menus?

BEN KISSEL

It's the news. Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Of course, of course. Can I ask you a question?

BEN KISSEL

Classifieds.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Hey boss, can I ask a question?

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

What are the squiggles on the papers?

BEN KISSEL

Those are words.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh. Now I have another question. Someone asked me should I return the newspaper because when you talk to the little man in the square, he doesn't say anything back.

BEN KISSEL

Right, it's a picture.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Whoa.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Is he frozen? Does that mean he doesn't go to heaven?

BEN KISSEL

No he's still alive, it's just someone took a picture of somebody. As a matter of fact remember that duck segment when they ran the world's weirdest duck?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, I hated him. He creeped me out.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah indeed. Quack-a-long, quack-a-long. Yeah. You didn't read that article, did you?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

What horrible business am I in?

BEN KISSEL

It's the newspaper business.

MARCUS PARKS

Concerning Charles stupidity, he once fell asleep at work under a sunlamp and burned half his face. And he'd often order car parts and charge them to the company to have the cost taken out of his paycheck. But since he couldn't do math, he would come constantly order more car parts than what he was paid. So they had to tell him to stop doing it. Another time the handle on a baling machine slipped out of Charles's hand and struck him so hard in the face that he was knocked cold. And as a result he suffered frequent blinding headaches for the rest of his life.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Here's another quote from Charlie Starkweather. "At the newspaper union the people was always watching me. They had me numbered for the bottom. I tried to do work as good as anybody ever, done things by myself the two of us should have done, all right. I used to think now no more hating, no more fighting, I've done what is right and something would happen to take it all out of me. I used to wonder why no goods like some I know was getting praised for doing what they've done. I guess it's because they talk better than I did because they had better places to sleep at night. They made me hate, then they couldn't make me like them without their changing and then they wasn't gonna change!"

BEN KISSEL

To be honest Charles, we had no idea this was all going on in your head. Everyone was just kind of doing their thing.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You didn't see my watercolors? I left them out, it was a cry for help!

BEN KISSEL

I didn't know that, I'm sorry.

MARCUS PARKS

Well around the time that Charles dropped out of high school, he saw a movie that confirmed the shallow teenage rebel image he built for himself. In 1955 Charles Starkweather saw a Rebel Without a Cause and he made an idol out of James Dean. See Charles loved James Dean in the film because Dean not only captured the brooding dickhead personality Starkweather cultivated but because Dean's character was named Jim Stark, which was kinda like Starkweather.

BEN KISSEL

Absolutely.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's my name.

BEN KISSEL

And I love that scene where James Dean goes to the bathroom with his big bowlegs and has his leg accidentally sit down on the other side of the old urinal there and he gets a blow job.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's the one thing I don't understand is that Jim Stark is supposed to be me, why doesn't he have bowlegs?

BEN KISSEL

It's because he's not you.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah but why am I watching?

BEN KISSEL

He's actually an actor, he's kinda actually strangely tiny.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah but my thing is why does he got my name, or got half my name?

BEN KISSEL

He doesn't.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah but he's got half.

BEN KISSEL

No, he has half of your last name.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Why is he living my life?

BEN KISSEL

It's a movie. He doesn't even live that life. James Dean was living a miserable life.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I actually never really understood, I thought I was looking through a big window.

BEN KISSEL

That's the screen. Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I got one of those in my house. Keeps the bugs out.

BEN KISSEL

It's a little different.

MARCUS PARKS

But from the Jim Stark character Starkweather found a pose and a style. And according to his sister he spent hours in front of the mirror rehearsing his James Dean pose, perfecting the way Dean hung a cigarette from his lips.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Ow, ow! I keep burning my chin. Ow! How does he do this?

BEN KISSEL

It's pretty remarkable. I always wanted to have a cigar like the dude in the wheelchair from the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, Franklin.

BEN KISSEL

But you chew the cigar.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's disgusting when it's all wet.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, it's gross.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, it's bad. Yeah for years I thought that was a sausage.

BEN KISSEL

Nope.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No, it's not. I thought it was as well. I never understood why it wasn't smoking but we're not cigar men.

BEN KISSEL

No we're not. Actually I've had a couple of cigars recently.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You like cigars.

BEN KISSEL

I've been getting into them.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah I know but do you suck on them when they're not lit? Do you go home at night and take a half of a wet old cigar, put it in your mouth, and just sit there being like, 'I wish I could have saved that girl.'

BEN KISSEL

I'll tell you I don't put it in my mouth. But it is funny, there's this new movie that is basically Five Nights at Freddy's that Nicolas Cage stars in.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Willy's Wonderland.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's good fun, yeah.

BEN KISSEL

And then there is one of the detectives that he just has a piece of jerky in his mouth the whole time.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's because he's trying to quit smoking, it's character choice.

BEN KISSEL

It's a character thing.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. But completely unrelated to Dean's performance, it was around this time that Charles' fantasies of the aforementioned enchanted forest were overtaken by increasingly strong and violent fantasies involving a physical representation of the grim reaper. Charles would later say that he would experience personal visits from death who would bring along a coffin and order Charles to climb inside.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I do have a direct reading of his fantasy.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah? Go for it, Go for it.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

"She comes to me in a dream. She told me don't be in no hurry, I won't forget. One time death came to me with a coffin with it all folded for me to get in. Then the coffin sailed away with me in it to come to a big fire and the coffin sort of melted I guess. I was down there on a street with great flames of fire on each side of me but it wasn't hot like I always thought hell would be."

BEN KISSEL

This is a dream.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No! "It was more like beautiful flames of gold. And I woke up."

BEN KISSEL

All right. So it doesn't sound like it was a nightmare, it sounds like he really enjoyed it.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, he loved his visits from death.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes.

MARCUS PARKS

But his death was not the typical black robe skeleton type. To him death was a half human, half bear with no neck, no arms, and no ears.

BEN KISSEL

Oh my god.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

They asked him. They're sitting with a psychiatrist, obviously all these quotes all come from after the fact, trying to figure out all this kind of shit.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And so they're asking him like so okay, so death comes to you Charles. That's incredible. It's fascinating. Absolutely fascinating. But what does death look like? And he's like literally some kind of bear, half man, he's got a woman's tits, right? He's got a bear head, right? So it's got an open pussy, no arms or legs. It was kinda like a snake.

BEN KISSEL

Okay. So it's like ManBearPig from South Park.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes.

MARCUS PARKS

No, it had an a pointed head that tapered off into a chest with big tits. It was a woman somehow, for some reason.

BEN KISSEL

You're not very creative are you, Charles?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I think actually I'm quite creative.

MARCUS PARKS

I think it's very creative.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No one's ever once thought of that once.

BEN KISSEL

I don't know!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

The thing is what a lot of doctors have said to me is that Charlie, you're so stupid, you're unique.

BEN KISSEL

That is true.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I was like that's amazing.

BEN KISSEL

Right. No, he just fantasized about having big tits with no arms and no legs so it can't get away from him or fight him off.

MARCUS PARKS

No, it had legs. It had legs.

BEN KISSEL

It had legs?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah. So it was sauntering around.

MARCUS PARKS

But it was half a bear, it had like bear's legs I think. And then a bear woman head but it was pointy and no ears.

BEN KISSEL

No ears.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I can guarantee that he never thought of it once until they asked him what does death look like and then he just made it up on the spot.

BEN KISSEL

Interesting.

MARCUS PARKS

Well eventually Charles claimed that this bear woman would visit him in waking fantasies accompanied by a whistling sound that announced her arrival. In these daydreams Charles imagined himself as the hero of fantastical adventures and these fantasies always ended with Charles murdering his enemies.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's interesting that he did view death as a whistle because I'm certain he had no clue about the Aztec death whistles or any of that type of shit.

MARCUS PARKS

No.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And he said that's what it sounds like. I find that to be fascinating.

BEN KISSEL

Okay. And again these are just fantasies, so who doesn't want to murder their enemies in fantasy?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

People do.

BEN KISSEL

Murder them in other ways emotionally.

MARCUS PARKS

Yes.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Sure.

MARCUS PARKS

Jesus.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

These murders were always justified in Starkweather's mind because Starkweather had conditioned himself through years of aggressive behavior to justify any violent action. He'd pick fights with strangers that he said were asking for it, they were asked for by the way they were dressed or the way they combed their hair or because they looked at him cross eyed as he put it.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That is rude though.

BEN KISSEL

I hate that. What are you looking at?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh! Like Harpo, when people give me Harpo face, I go nuts.

BEN KISSEL

Oh absolutely. Jerry Lewis? Come on.

MARCUS PARKS

While this is a way of living that would repel most people, it was actually attractive to Starkweather's future partner in crime Caril Ann Fugate.

BEN KISSEL

Look at that.

MARCUS PARKS

Now there's a lot of speculation as to whether Caril Ann was a willing accomplice in the murders to come and modern interpretations usually tend to absolve her of any blame.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Mostly I think because of her age and the nature of the crime. But I think that there's a gray area inbetween that we're trying to waddle in.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. I think it comes down to a reality that exists somewhere between two scenarios. The first possibility is that Caril Ann fell in love with a bad boy, quickly got in over her head when the fantasies became real, then went along with the mass murder because she was scared of what Charles would do if she didn't go along with that.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes.

MARCUS PARKS

The second option though is that Caril Ann was more like Karla Homolka. In that situation the extreme violence starting with Caril's parents activated a hidden desire to kill. This is the Mickey and Mallory scenario, although Starkweather and Caril Ann never left anyone alive to tell the tale.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

The more research I do, the more I'm starting to believe that she did not have anything directly to do with any sort of violence except for the violence against her family and that everything else was separate and that Charles Starkweather kept it separate.

MARCUS PARKS

Could be.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But then tried to blame it all on her which we'll get to.

BEN KISSEL

All right. Natural Born Killers perhaps.

MARCUS PARKS

Concerning the former possibility though, Caril Ann was only 12 years old when she met Charles Starkweather. She'd gone on a double date with Starkweather and Caril Ann's sister Barbara, who at the time was dating Starkweather's best friend Bob Von Busch.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Now yeah, this is old timey dating. This is old timey dating because you remember the Fugates actually just broke up because she had a stepfather, blah, blah, blah. There's a little bit of backstory here because the father was weird. The original Fugate left town and they're kind of like a hardscrabble family trying to put it together. But it is weird to be like, 'You should date by 12 year old sister, fellow adult.'

BEN KISSEL

Well again 1950s, the guy blew a Fugate, he had to get out of there. Nice.

MARCUS PARKS

Well from what the author wrote, Caril was 12 but could have easily passed for 17 in both looks and attitude, which isn't all that hard to see considering how everyone in the 50s looked like they were fucking 35 by the time they were 15 years old.

BEN KISSEL

By the way, check out Orphan: First kill. Not too shabby.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's good!

BEN KISSEL

Yep.

MARCUS PARKS

It's not too shabby?

BEN KISSEL

Not too shabby.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

The twist in it is pretty great. It's great.

MARCUS PARKS

All right. Interesting cause I figured there were no more twists left.

BEN KISSEL

Oh there's a twist!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

There's a twist.

BEN KISSEL

Yes indeed.

MARCUS PARKS

But concerning Caril Ann, she was rebellious, quick tempered, wore dungarees and a men's shirt with the sleeves rolled up, she swore like a sailor, and she already knew how to drive a car.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

She was aping the idea of being a bad girl. Again she was 12. So she didn't really know.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. Like Charles though, Caril Ann was also a bit of a dullard and had been held back in elementary school. Unlike Charles though, Caril Ann was neglected by her mother following a divorce and a remarry and Caril Ann grew up in utter poverty.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

From the book 'The Twelfth Victim' there was an example of why the mother actually disliked the original father because William Fugate, her father, he was not around a lot but he was considered to be a little bit inappropriate in his humor. And he used to write poems for his daughters to make them laugh. And one of the poems was, 'Oh I took my girl a skating, I sat her on my knee. She lit a fart, broke my heart, and shit all over me. Oh it ain't gonna rain no more, no more.' That was the poem that he used to say.

BEN KISSEL

That's funny.

MARCUS PARKS

That's funny.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And the kids used to laugh and love it.

BEN KISSEL

That's a funny one.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But Barbara was giving side eye.

BEN KISSEL

That's not bad, it's not nearly as bad as it could be.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Obviously yeah, he could have molested everyone.

BEN KISSEL

Sure.

MARCUS PARKS

Well after Caril Ann and Charles went out on one date, he was so smitten that he actually threatened to kill another boy who tried asking her out.

BEN KISSEL

Oh my.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. And the pair would date for the next two years. See Caril, she didn't care about Starkweather's speech impediment, his bowlegs, or his intense myopia.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Love does that, doesn't it?

BEN KISSEL

I guess.

MARCUS PARKS

All she saw was a tough rebel with a hotrod whom she considered handsome, even though Charles Starkweather is about one of the weirdest looking dudes I've ever laid eyes on. He's somehow both moonfaced and square headed at the same time.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Well what he is is hot and cool to a 12 year old. You understand? Things don't change. Again he was giving her a lot of attention. He was five years older than her.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Now we know the term love bombing, he was doing that too. He pulled out all the stops. Whatever money he had he gave her and he was obsessed with her. So she felt very special.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. See in Caril Ann's eyes, Charles could do no wrong. And once he had someone to share his world with, he could, in author Michael Newton's words, break from society completely. For Charles quote:

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

"Something worth killing for had come." Yeah, now it's just not meaningless killing.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Now I can do it and it's nice. I got a reason, I gotta casus belli.

BEN KISSEL

I mean it's kind of romantic if it was written by Shakespeare but it's not.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's not. Well it's because he's an asshole and again it's about now I have somebody that likes me for me, which is I'm a horrendous asshole and now you like me for being one.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

And I did do a little snooping on Mr. Charles there.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's called research.

BEN KISSEL

Snooping. And he's not that unattractive. I'm gonna say he's a 6.5.

MARCUS PARKS

6.5 really?

BEN KISSEL

Got an actor's head.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Kissel is just being generous today. I don't know why he's choosing to be generous with Charles Starkweather but he is.

MARCUS PARKS

But things didn't immediately start with murder and death. It took a while for both of them to warm up to the idea but once Charles got a taste for it and since he wasn't that great at thinking about the future, he found that murder solved problems in the very short term.

BEN KISSEL

Eureka!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yep.

BEN KISSEL

So tell me Charles, what was your aha moment?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

When I realized that you just kill and kill and kill and kill and everybody just give you things and you win, you're number one.

BEN KISSEL

That's great. Do you want to sit down with Dr. Oz and Dr. Phil to talk about it on their show?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh my god am I gonna see the yellow brick road?

BEN KISSEL

Yep. Catch me outside.

MARCUS PARKS

Those problems however mostly involved Caril Ann. In a fight with his father over whether or not Caril should be allowed to drive Charles' car when she was just 13, Charles slapped his father and his father slapped back, sending Charles flying backwards into his car's side window, breaking it.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He literally threw him out of a window.

BEN KISSEL

Oh my goodness gracious.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's how small he was. But his father was a nice guy.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

By all accounts his father was a hardworking honest man that freaked out.

BEN KISSEL

He got into a slap fight with his kid. That's a slap fight.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. That's the thing, there were seven kids, the other six were just fine.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, they were just hanging out. He got all the recessive genes.

BEN KISSEL

That's too bad, too bad.

MARCUS PARKS

Charles was subsequently kicked out of his house and he moved in with Bob Von Busch and Caril Ann's sister Barbara, who since marrying Bob had become Barbara Busch.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yay!

BEN KISSEL

Whoa!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But not Bush war criminal, Busch bad beer.

BEN KISSEL

Okay.

MARCUS PARKS

Yep. Soon after though Charles moved in with his brother Rodney and focused on Caril, spending most of his paychecks on buying her useless junk.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yep.

MARCUS PARKS

And even though he needed money, he quit his job at the newspaper warehouse because in Charlie's estimation his boss had hired a bunch of college boys, made Charlie train them, then he promoted them to higher paying jobs.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's because they all could think and he could not think.

BEN KISSEL

Well he thought well enough to train them, did he not?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He didn't. That's Charlie saying he was training them. I don't think they were sending him to train. I don't think so.

BEN KISSEL

All right, all right.

MARCUS PARKS

But his bosses, they were about to fire him anyway because he was dumb and he had a bad attitude.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You can't be both.

MARCUS PARKS

That's the thing, you can either be mean or stupid and still hold a job.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes.

MARCUS PARKS

But you can't be both and expect people to want you around.

BEN KISSEL

Right. As a matter of fact if you're kind of stupid but really nice, you'll be loved.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's what I need! That's what I crave!

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Nevertheless Charles returned to the life of a garbage man, this time for $42 a week, got a $7 a week raise.

BEN KISSEL

This is good money.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Technically it is very good money for the time period.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah!

MARCUS PARKS

But it wasn't enough to shower Caril with gifts and pay rent.

BEN KISSEL

You're fucking missing the point, Charles. You're the garbage man, start sifting through it. You got a gift every damn time you go to work!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I know where my bread is buttered.

BEN KISSEL

Oh my god.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And where my bread is buttered is on the body of this 12 year old girl.

BEN KISSEL

This is disgusting. Garbage men get some of the best of the best of the best.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I mean if you've got a good eye.

BEN KISSEL

Absolutely.

MARCUS PARKS

But that's the thing, since he couldn't have the gifts and the rent, he just stopped paying rent.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah. What you gonna do, make me not live here anymore? I'm saving it up!

BEN KISSEL

Seems like his priorities aren't really in order.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It seems like he has a thinking issue.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It seems like he has a prioritizing issue.

BEN KISSEL

Because if you don't have a house, you have no place to put the things that you're buying.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No.

BEN KISSEL

Right.

MARCUS PARKS

But as it was always destined to go, things finally came to a head in 1957 when a rumor started circulating that Charles had gotten Caril Ann pregnant.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

What they don't know that she was skipping the rope the other day and she fell down on her belly and it's just a fucking bruise.

BEN KISSEL

There you go. Thank you, Charles.

MARCUS PARKS

Now even though Caril Ann was mostly neglected following her mother's divorce and remarry, Caril Ann's mother Velda and her stepfather Marion, they weren't too jazzed about having Charlie Starkweather as a potential son-in-law.

BEN KISSEL

Right.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You're just sitting in your living room, living a normal life. Because honestly Marion Fugate was fine, or Marion whenever his last name was.

MARCUS PARKS

Bartlett. I think it was Bartlett.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He's fine, right. He was just normal. She said, according to the Caril Ann Fugate book, it's all like she had a perfect life and then oh! I feel like it's too far in the other end where mostly it just seems like Marion was fine, they lived a normal life, and then all of a sudden your 12 year old shows up with Charles Starkweather.

BEN KISSEL

Right.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And then he is exactly as ordered.

BEN KISSEL

What a nightmare.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

When he arrives, everywhere he goes is a circle of chaos and idiocy.

BEN KISSEL

Right.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Because he just sucks up every single thing that he touches and he's bad to have in the living room.

BEN KISSEL

Right, yeah. You might want to kick him out there.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. So they refused to allow Caril to marry Charles, saying that if they tried they'd annul the marriage and charge Charles with statutory rape.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I didn't touch a single fucking statue! I was just having sex with your daughter.

BEN KISSEL

No Charles, it's really much worse than that.

MARCUS PARKS

And with this Marion and Velda became the specific scapegoat for all of Starkweather's failures. Suddenly he decided that they were working night and day to keep what he deserved out of his reach.

BEN KISSEL

Oh my gosh.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I have an idea that Charles was a virgin throughout this whole thing because they talk about how he didn't know what to do with women. And Caril Ann says straight up we just kissed.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

She knew she couldn't be pregnant because they never had sex with each other.

MARCUS PARKS

Eventually though, Charles settled on a solution. He began to imagine himself as the hero of what he called his shooting movies.

BEN KISSEL

Oh wow, what a clever name.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. That went along with the stabby books.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I got shooting movies, I got my sharp ass books. Oh I'm the most dangerous guy at the library.

BEN KISSEL

What does the devil look like again?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh ice cream and I don't know. Sometimes he's got long blond hair. Sometimes who's that, Pat Sajak?

BEN KISSEL

Oh wow. I'm surprised you know who he is.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Time isn't linear.

BEN KISSEL

Isn't that something?

MARCUS PARKS

Well Charles imagined himself to be the man killing the evil villain standing in his path. And this was all in the pursuit of whisking away his beloved to a better life. At the same time, Charlie's bizarre half bear vision of death was slowly replaced by Caril Ann herself. And according to Charles, the two of them, Caril Ann and himself, they began planning their violent escape together. But Caril Ann of course denies that she knew anything about the rampage to come.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Caril Ann says in the book that he never once mentioned ever wanting to rob anything which is not true. I think that's completely fake.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But she said that what he had was that he told her the story is that, 'You know actually before you met me, I was a sheriff in Texas. I actually gotta go back because the bureau has been looking for me. I gotta go.'

BEN KISSEL

Yeah? Young sheriff.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Literally that's what she said was his fantasy is that they're going to escape and go back to where he's a sheriff in Texas. Which I just don't think that that happened. I think that they fantasized about robbing a bank together.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And she just didn't think it was gonna happen.

BEN KISSEL

Sounds like they're just really young and very stupid and he probably talked about it so much that she forgot that he was talking about it at all.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes, truly. Yes. Yes.

MARCUS PARKS

Well before Charles got around to enacting that fantasy of whisking her away to a better life, he needed money.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah like that job that you had, remember when you had a job?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That was a misstep, huh?

BEN KISSEL

That was a right step.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

What if I go digging for gold?

BEN KISSEL

You know what? Fine. That's at least a mission.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

In here, I'll find them in here.

BEN KISSEL

No, that's you're picking your nose. Fantastic. You're a child. I'm a child. Maybe we shouldn't be together.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Caril, you look fantastic.

BEN KISSEL

Thank you.

MARCUS PARKS

He needed a lot of money fast. And he figured the easiest way to do that was to rob the gas station where he hung out on his days off, bumming sodas and cigarettes.

BEN KISSEL

That's great. So everyone knows who you are and then as soon as you show up they'd be like hey, Mr. Starkweather.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No, they're gonna be like finally you're robbing here. We've been waiting for you to finally free us. Free us from this job.

BEN KISSEL

We know who you are, you know that right?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

They key is if you rob somebody's job, you free all the employees cause they're forced to be there.

BEN KISSEL

Oh I see.

MARCUS PARKS

Now for about two weeks Charles cased the gas station, noting the movements of the attendants while hanging out with one of the attendants, a guy named Robert McClung.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes. Literally. And they're all like what's Charlie doing out there? Seems like he's casing the joint.

BEN KISSEL

Yup.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It might as well have been he told them essentially.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. Well Charlie figured as he watched more and more that it wouldn't be a problem if he had to kill the attendant. But at the end of November in 1957, a petty and very stupid argument guaranteed the attendant's death.

BEN KISSEL

Uh oh.

MARCUS PARKS

On that day, and this wasn't the guy that Charlie knew, but on that day Starkweather tried buying a teddy bear for Caril Ann on credit.

BEN KISSEL

I love a gas station teddy bear.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I'm good for it, you know me, plushy business everywhere.

BEN KISSEL

If you have to buy your girlfriend a teddy bear as a gift, you're dating someone way too young.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's a child.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah. She just really wants this LEGO set. How old is she?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Actually Natalie likes the LEGO sets but nowadays they're like $400.

BEN KISSEL

Yes.

MARCUS PARKS

They're very expensive.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

They're very adult.

BEN KISSEL

They have advanced ones now.

MARCUS PARKS

And when attendant Robert Colvert told Starkweather that he only accepted cash, Charles got mouthy, he left in a huff, and decided that maybe killing the attendant could be a feature of the robbery, not a bug,

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Let me have a fucking bear. Let me have a bear.

BEN KISSEL

This is all over a teddy bear.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And they're just watching him fume about the teddy bear in the store.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Watching him just sit in a car across the street.

BEN KISSEL

Right. There's no scene like that in Rebel Without a Cause.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No, there isn't.

BEN KISSEL

I don't remember that one. James Dean's just like give me that goddamn teddy bear!

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, between James Dean and Sal Mineo, the famous 'let me have the teddy bear' scene.

BEN KISSEL

Please let me have the teddy bear.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Ah, come on! You know I'm good for it, come on!

BEN KISSEL

Again, he was a former garbage man. You know how many people throw away their teddy bears? Come on.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You know how many teddy bears I've seen in the garbage?

BEN KISSEL

So wash it off and give it as a gift.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh you're right actually. Oh I made a lot of mistakes.

BEN KISSEL

You did!

MARCUS PARKS

And so that night Charles Starkweather stole a 12 gauge shotgun from Bob Von Busch's cousin and he cleaned and oiled it before taking Caril out to watch and participate in one of his many demolition derbies.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He's not bad. He wasn't bad at them.

MARCUS PARKS

He was great. He won most of the time.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's the only skill he had.

BEN KISSEL

To be honest, it's is the, let's see here, how do I phrase this? If you're really dumb you might be good at demolition derby.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah!

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Because the whole point is that you don't drive well.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. If you're dumb and you can't see.

BEN KISSEL

It's perfect. Fearless.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, he's never gonna hesitate because he can't.

BEN KISSEL

He can't.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I can tell I'm winning by all the crash noises.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh that's me?

BEN KISSEL

You're the winner. You won, you hurt the most amount of cars.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, it's cool right? They're just sitting there.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Well that night Charles won 20 bucks and he celebrated by blowing a bunch of cash at a steakhouse before taking Caril Ann to see a submarine movie called The Enemy Below starring Robert Mitchum. Yeah. Mitchum, underrated actor.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I love him.

MARCUS PARKS

The Night of the Hunter, great movie.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Night of the Hunter, panned when it came out.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. Charles then dropped off Caril. He then had a couple of beers at the bar and then he went home with a bottle of Wild Turkey and spent a couple hours practicing his aim by pointing a shotgun at the TV.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Got you, Groucho Marx!

BEN KISSEL

Whoa, whoa!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I got you, Steve Allen!

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, maybe Steve Allen.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Jack Paar?

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, maybe Jack Paar.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Got you, Jack Paar!

BEN KISSEL

You got him pretty good there. 20 bucks really went a long way back then, huh?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It really did.

BEN KISSEL

Wow.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. No, no, he had a thick porterhouse smothered in onions, big baked potato. Then at 2AM he grabbed the shotgun, a pair of leather gloves, a canvas bag, a hunter's cap with ear flaps, and a red bandana before leaving for the crest gas station where the much hated Robert Colvert was working.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You're gonna give me a goddamn teddy bear, I'm coming in with my flaps on! You're never gonna know what hit ya when I got the flaps around my face.

BEN KISSEL

I bet you it's like 50 cents, you coulda bought it with the $20 that you won.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Let's just say I'm late this month.

BEN KISSEL

Okay.

MARCUS PARKS

Now Charles didn't immediately walk into the store brandishing a weapon. Instead he went inside and bought a pack of camels for a quarter.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, I'll take some cigarettes.

BEN KISSEL

Wow.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Because you could tell he did it super like, 'Not gonna rob it! Let me get me some cigarettes. That'd be great, thanks.'

MARCUS PARKS

Then he returned and bought some gum.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, just going to the store.

BEN KISSEL

Why are you back?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Just looking around, just browsing the store that I basically live in. I'm here everyday.

BEN KISSEL

Are you gonna rob the store?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I'm just trying to see if you got anything new. I've been over here for like 10 minutes.

BEN KISSEL

You were here 15 minutes ago.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah I know but then I realized what if I went back?

BEN KISSEL

Charles are you thinking about robbing the store?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I'm thinking about...

BEN KISSEL

Okay, great.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's not a lie if you omit the truth.

MARCUS PARKS

These two visits of course garnered a suspicious look from Robert Colvert and that's when Starkweather's paranoia kicked into high gear. And since he figured Colvert might call the cops, Charles parked a short distance away and turned off his lights, waiting for the cops to show up.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

The key is maybe if I roll up... He really did, he was like I'm gonna drive back with the lights off and then I'll surprise the gas station!

BEN KISSEL

This is the dumbest thing I have ever heard in my life.

MARCUS PARKS

But when they didn't, Starkweather pulled back into the station, tied the red bandana around his face and put on the hunting cap.

BEN KISSEL

I know it's you! Oh my god.

MARCUS PARKS

Thinking this would somehow work as a disguise despite the fact that Colvert knew him personally and had already seen him twice in the last hour.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He is legitimately almost a carbon copy of Flattop from Dick Tracy.

BEN KISSEL

Who is this?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He's an extremely distinctive looking person.

BEN KISSEL

Who is this bowlegged woman with a babushka?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh, it's me.

BEN KISSEL

What's your name, ma'am? Charles?

MARCUS PARKS

Sneaking up behind Colvert who was by then working on a car in the garage, Starkweather shoved the shotgun into his back and ordered him to put the money from the register in the canvas bag. He got about 200 bucks at most.

BEN KISSEL

Okay. It's a pretty good haul.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, between 100 and 200 bucks, it's a month's pay.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It was big for him at the time, it was a big haul. And again they're like he's going deeper now.

BEN KISSEL

Okay.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. Charles then demanded the money in the safe but Colvert claimed to not have the combination. So Charles Starkweather took Robert Colvert for a ride outside of town. After driving northeast at gunpoint, they turned onto an unpaved road called Superior Street which was then a bit of a lover's lane for the local teenagers.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I always think about how the cops used to watch all the kids make out.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Even when I was in high school they used to do that.

MARCUS PARKS

They did?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You'd go and all the kids, there was like a makeout area and you'd go out there and then the cops would always come sweep it, looking for kids having sex with each other or whatever. And I don't understand why they sent that man out there or did he choose to go?

BEN KISSEL

It was just people that had friends and relationships with other people and you were lonely and sad.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah but then the cops would come.

BEN KISSEL

Get outta here, kids!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, why did they come and look at us kids?

BEN KISSEL

Shake it up. They didn't look at you, they wanted to shake it up, get outta here, kids.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, get outta here. We didn't have a lover's lane, since it was a rural town we had a bunch of back roads, called it backroading.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's how you save a girl keeping her virginity.

BEN KISSEL

There you go, good work Henry.

MARCUS PARKS

Going backroading, yeah. And you'd have your little space that you'd pull up into. But then the cops would come, they'd go on the back roads looking for teenagers out there drinking beer and they'd shine a light and go, 'Get out of here! Stop doing this!'

BEN KISSEL

They'd shine ya.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Why?

BEN KISSEL

To get you out of there.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

What do you mean why?

MARCUS PARKS

I didn't own the land.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah sure, that's different, it's private property.

BEN KISSEL

We used to drink in a place called the dead end which was a dead end. Then cops come and say get outta here.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, mean that makes sense.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I guess, yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Well after driving down Superior Street, they then drove past the house of a woman named Bloody Mary who would fire a shotgun filled with rock salt at teenagers until she finally switched to buckshot in the 60s and ended up actually killing a teenager.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's the problem.

BEN KISSEL

She's funny though.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It was a funny thing until there was death.

BEN KISSEL

Well get off her lawn. Come hang out on my lawn.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, go to Kissel's.

BEN KISSEL

Get on my lawn.

MARCUS PARKS

Well about a mile past Bloody Mary's place, Charles and Robert stopped and Starkweather ordered Colvert out of the car. Now according to Charles, Colvert tried grabbing the shotgun and after a scuffle Colvert got a hold of the gun and somehow shot himself in the chest.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I don't know how he did it!

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, you don't know how he did it?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Nope!

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Then when Charles got the gun back, the gun went off again somehow and blew off the back of Colvert's head. In reality though, Colvert was first shot in the chest point blank, then again point blank in the back of the head. That means that Starkweather probably ordered him out of the car and simply executed Colvert after what was I'm sure a pathetic little speech about how he should have sold him the teddy bear.

BEN KISSEL

Oh my god.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Somewhere there's a girl and as she sits on her embroidered pillow with C and C next to each other, she has an open space in her arms that should be the home of a teddy bear.

BEN KISSEL

This is all over a teddy bear?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But then one man stands in the way of justice.

BEN KISSEL

I would've given you the teddy bear.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

One man stands in the way of fate. And that man is you.

BEN KISSEL

It's just so stupid. I didn't even do anything.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And me, I'm the guy that does the fate!

BEN KISSEL

God, I can't believe I'm gonna die at the hands of such a moron.

MARCUS PARKS

But either way, Starkweather drove off after the murder, leaving the body behind and he threw the shotgun into a creek. Now about an hour or two after Starkweather abducted Colvert, a police car stopped off at the gas station to find it unattended. And coincidentally Colvert's body was found by sheriff's deputies at about the same time after neighbors had called in the discovery of a dead body. Now since Charles hadn't left anything behind, there were no leads and the cops never came close to Charles Starkweather for the murder until after he killed 10 more people. For his part though, Charles was thrilled when the news hit the radio the next day but he still went about his regular schedule of demolition derbies and cheeseburgers. Won 10 bucks on the second one.

BEN KISSEL

Oh not bad. He won again.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But that was the thing is that he spent all night worried. He's like oh, the papers are gonna know in the morning. Meanwhile you worked at the newspapers Charlie, you know it takes a second for the news to come out.

BEN KISSEL

Right. He doesn't know much.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No.

MARCUS PARKS

No. In other words, the plan to take Caril Ann away from Nebraska was well on its way, even though Starkweather was dumb enough to immediately deposit the money from the robbery into a bank account.

BEN KISSEL

Oh yes, crisp stolen $200.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Very good. Someone found this missing money. Very good.

MARCUS PARKS

But while that was classic moron behavior, Starkweather was actually smart in the way he covered up the rest of the crime. He changed the tires on his truck in case the cops cast tire prints from the unpaved road where the murder occurred, he painted it black in case anyone had seen him, and he even retrieve the shotgun from the creek the day before cops searched it for the murder weapon.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

He's kind of smart but it's also like wow, what a coincidence.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Well him getting the shotgun before they searched, that was a coincidence.

BEN KISSEL

That's smart.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But that also was truly just he got there in time.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But the rest of it he learned from true crime magazines.

BEN KISSEL

I guess.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. But then about 10 days after the murder, once Starkweather felt he was free and clear of the crime, he drove Caril Ann to the gas station he'd robbed and made a big show of buying the teddy bear he had previously been denied.

BEN KISSEL

Oh god.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

One teddy bear, please!

BEN KISSEL

Oh my god.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Let me go into my wallet and make sure I have... Oh, it seems I have a plentiful amount!

BEN KISSEL

Interesting.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, ladies! 15 cents for one teddy bear.

BEN KISSEL

Oh my god.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Meanwhile she's like, I don't even like this.

BEN KISSEL

Oh you better like that damn teddy bear at this point.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Thanks Charlie but I don't need it. Thanks Charlie.

MARCUS PARKS

But of course this was merely the beginning of Starkweather blowing all of the money he gained from the robbery that was supposed to go towards a new life for him and Caril Ann.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

He bought Christmas presents for his family and again showered Caril Ann with gifts. The couple also went to the movies as often as they could and Starkweather bought of course a whole bunch of comics featuring knives.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He loves 'em!

BEN KISSEL

All right.

MARCUS PARKS

Starkweather's depression and headaches even went away once he finally got what he felt he was owed.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

This is me now.

BEN KISSEL

Okay, nice.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

This is me, happy to help.

BEN KISSEL

Cool, calm, collected.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I've done it, I've fixed it. What a life we're gonna lead.

BEN KISSEL

Absolutely.

MARCUS PARKS

But when the money ran out in January, a little over a month after the robbery-

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Ooh, I should have thought a little bit more about the budget.

BEN KISSEL

It's really not that much money. I mean it was good for a little while.

MARCUS PARKS

Charles fell behind on rent and got evicted. He slept in his car during a cold Nebraska winter and the dark moods and violent fantasies returned with a vengeance.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

(singing) He goes down to the river, down to the river he runs.

BEN KISSEL

Great song. Should never have gotten married, that couple.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No.

MARCUS PARKS

Now Starkweather limply tried returning to the workforce but gave up quite quickly, blaming his old bosses at the garbage haulers for quote "putting him on a blacklist".

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

There definitely was a garbage haulers blacklist at the time.

BEN KISSEL

It would be his third time trying to be a garbage man after he quit the first two times.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And they gave him a raise.

BEN KISSEL

So they probably wouldn't want to hire him again to be fair.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, he was a visible moron with a bad attitude. That cannot be stressed enough.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But I'm an asset to the company!

BEN KISSEL

You're really not. You're really not.

MARCUS PARKS

Now to get around this Starkweather figured that if he was a married man, a place of business would have no choice but to hire him.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh no.

BEN KISSEL

Why?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I don't know.

BEN KISSEL

Why would you think?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's very stupid?

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He just thinks we'll normalize.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You know what? Maybe we're too fringe. You know what we gotta do is we gotta bring it together, a nice white wedding. We all come together.

BEN KISSEL

She's still 12.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah but she won't be 12 in 6 years.

BEN KISSEL

Oh my god.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

By then me, I'll be here.

MARCUS PARKS

By this time she's 14 years. This is two years later.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's so much better. It's much better.

BEN KISSEL

All right.

MARCUS PARKS

I'm just stating the facts here.

BEN KISSEL

Okay.

MARCUS PARKS

Well because Charles Starkweather figured hey, if I get married everything will be better, he went to Caril Ann Fugate's house-

BEN KISSEL

Oh the dalliance of ignorance amongst our youth.

MARCUS PARKS

He went to Caril Ann Fugate's house on January 20, 1958 to plead his case to Caril Ann's mother and stepfather. Now Marion and Velda's hatred for Charles Starkweather had only grown over the two years he'd been seeing Caril Ann. So after a brief and terse conversation about marriage, Marion grabbed Charles by the collar and literally threw him out of the house.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Cause he's also a foot taller than him. And at this point this was like the third time where they're like Charlie's not coming back in this house.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

They kept being like he's not coming back.

BEN KISSEL

Right.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And every single time he'd show back up but he'd always come with different schemes. He'd show up being like all right, so I feel like we could flip your whole industry.

BEN KISSEL

Oh my god.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He's saying all this stuff. And you're like Carlie, you're a fucking moron. Get the fuck out of my house.

BEN KISSEL

It seems like the parents really were trying to do the best they could.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Sure!

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. That night Charles claimed he dreamed of giant snakes squeezing him to death and when Charles woke up screaming and soaked with sweat, he finally decided that Caril Ann's parents had to die.

BEN KISSEL

Because of the dream?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Snakes.

BEN KISSEL

Okay.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

They sent the snakes to my dreams!

BEN KISSEL

I don't know, buddy.

MARCUS PARKS

The next morning Charles joined his brother on a garbage route to earn a little extra cash. And after the route was done, Charles borrowed his brother's .22 rifle, saying he was going hunting with Caril Ann's stepfather Marion. By 1PM Charles had shown up at Caril Ann's house with the .22, two boxes of ammunition, and some carpet samples he'd picked up on his garbage route.

BEN KISSEL

See at least he's starting to learn.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Well this is the thing. He picked a bunch of stinky carpet samples out of the garbage.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And then this whole time being like because you know Caril Ann's mother, she's been wanting a new rug.

BEN KISSEL

A new carpet. Here's some samples.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But he goes in and he just throws them on the floor being like, 'Ah that's nice. Oh that nice puke green. Ah, that's just some puke.'

BEN KISSEL

That's a nice one.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Let me scrape that off for ya.

BEN KISSEL

What about that poopy brown?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It started as a mauve.

BEN KISSEL

Oh isn't that nice? Just imagine if you were the size of a mouse though, this could actually be good enough for a living room.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It could be good.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. I mean he planned to use the scavenged carpet samples as a peace offering as Henry said because Velda mentioned she wanted new carpet for their home.

BEN KISSEL

He's a cat.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Now you see this tiny little piece of soiled carpet?

BEN KISSEL

That's really great.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Imagine hundreds more of these pieces.

BEN KISSEL

Soiled carpets.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

The thing is that I only have this one piece.

BEN KISSEL

Just that one. How do we get the whole thing?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

What's nice about this carpet is that it's perfect for kneeling on with one knee.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's perfect.

BEN KISSEL

It's just we need a lot more carpet.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

No, not going to happen.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No, no, that's all I got.

BEN KISSEL

That's all you got. Okay.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

This is your carpet.

BEN KISSEL

That's just a little bit though.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's enough to get a taste of a carpet.

BEN KISSEL

I see.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's the new company I think you guys can start called A Taste of Carpet.

BEN KISSEL

Oh I see.

MARCUS PARKS

We used to steal carpet from the back dumpster of a carpet warehouse to line the walls of our practice spaces with so we wouldn't go deaf practicing in a metal storage space.

BEN KISSEL

There you go.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's fucking awesome.

BEN KISSEL

Really cool.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah. But he also showed up with a rifle and he does the thing where he walks up to Marion and he's like hey, you wanna go fucking hunting today? Like he just shows up with the rifle and then he's just like, 'Uh no.'

MARCUS PARKS

Well Marion wasn't awake yet. When Charles showed up to the door with the rifle and the carpet samples, Velda was a little hesitant. But I suppose the carpet samples worked because she reluctantly let him into the house after he explained that he wanted to ask Marion if he wanted to go hunting. And so Charles sat on their couch, working the bolt of the rifle in and out in and out, over and over and over again.

BEN KISSEL

Awesome.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Charlie, I know we might have had a discussion about you coming over unannounced and maybe we can continue that discussion where you could leave.

BEN KISSEL

You're gonna wanna check out those carpet samples.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I'm looking at all of them and smelling them.

BEN KISSEL

Pretty cool, right?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

They just seem to be like they have a smell-o-vision style to them.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, yeah. We got them out of the trash.

MARCUS PARKS

Now at this point Caril Ann was still at school but in the house was Velda, her two year old daughter Betty Jean, and Marion who was napping in the bedroom. After Charles was given a polite yet terse tour around the house, he left the .22 rifle in Caril's bedroom and went to the kitchen. There Velda stopped being polite and started getting real.

BEN KISSEL

Uh oh.

MARCUS PARKS

She angrily revealed that she'd heard the rumor that Caril Anne was pregnant. She then slapped Charles, telling him that she hated him for even the possibility of Caril being pregnant. On the second slap though, Charles blocked it and skittered out the front door.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And if you ever want to make your mom angrier, you catch that hand before the slap hits you.

BEN KISSEL

Oh my goodness.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Do remember that? If you want to get hit extra, you stop the first hit.

BEN KISSEL

You just gotta get hit sometimes by mama.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

My mother never hit me.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Whatever, bro.

BEN KISSEL

Marcus.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You're not as strong as us!

BEN KISSEL

Your mother your mother encouraged your more I'm going to say raccoon-like things that you like to do like scavenging for carpets.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh thank you, when you'd leave the dead mice by her bedroom door, yeah.

BEN KISSEL

She was very supportive.

MARCUS PARKS

If I were to say who encouraged my scavenging more, it would be my father. Who do you think I learned it from?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Wow. Yeah. It's a house of skeletons.

BEN KISSEL

Isn't that something?

MARCUS PARKS

Well Charles started driving away but remembered that he'd left the rifle, so he returned to the house and knocked again. Zelda opened the door and Charles pushed her aside but Marion was now awake from his nap.

BEN KISSEL

Uh oh.

MARCUS PARKS

But Charles was a slippery little fella.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He's small.

BEN KISSEL

Oh my.

MARCUS PARKS

So he ducked past Marion.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Marion however was also quick and he managed to kick Charles in the ass, knocking him to the ground. He then picked him up by the collar again and threw him out of the house.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Right now at this point, this is a Heathcliff storyline.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, I mean we do have one murder under his belt.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yes.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

So this man is still very, very dangerous.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But they don't know yet. They don't know that this tiny pain in the ass is actually a maniac.

BEN KISSEL

Right.

MARCUS PARKS

Well it's at this point that we can see that Charles had definitely decided to kill Caril Ann's parents. He drove to Marion's place of business and told the operator that Marion wouldn't be in for a few days which of course would buy Charlie some time.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Again, 1950s is just easier. You can walk in and say this to somebody. Meanwhile people are like who are you?

BEN KISSEL

I guess.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Why are you telling me that this other employee... Like what's happening? They just go okay, well put Marion down, he's off the schedule.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

He then drove back to Caril Ann's house to do the deed. But once he got there Velda refused to even open the door. So Charles stayed outside and played with the family dog for an hour until Caril Ann got out of school. Once Caril Ann arrived she immediately got into a shouting match with her mother about Starkweather, so Charles snuck in through the back kitchen door. Velda however heard him come in and she resumed the slapping. This time though Charles hit her back and knocked her to the ground. And this is when things start getting a little rough.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Tense.

MARCUS PARKS

Marion then joined in, grabbing Charles by the neck and throwing him to the ground where they wrestled their way into the living room. Marion then got up and went to another room to find a tool to finish the job, so Charles went to Caril's room to grab the gun. Just after he loaded it though he claimed that Marion came at him with a claw hammer, so Charles fired the rifle and shot Marian in the head. Velda, Charles claimed, then came at him with a butcher knife, screaming that she was going to chop off his head. Caril supposedly then grabbed the rifle and threatened to shoot her mother if she didn't leave Charles alone. Then Charles grabbed the gun back and shot Velda in the face. This however didn't stop her, so Charles hit her with the butt of the rifle over and over until she finally stayed down. Meanwhile the two year old toddler Betty Jean was screaming and Caril began screaming in turn for Betty Jean to shut up. So Charles slammed the butt of the rifle into the toddler's face but not hard enough to kill her. Marion meanwhile was still alive, so Charles picked up the butcher knife and advanced towards him. But Betty Jean was still screaming, so Charles threw the knife and somehow managed to hit her in the neck. According to one account I read, Charles then pressed the barrel of the gun against Betty Jean's throat until she died. Charles then picked up a hunting knife with the intention of finishing off Marion who was struggling to stay alive back in Caril's bedroom. Taking the knife, Charles tried stabbing it through the flesh and sinew of Marion's throat but the knife wouldn't go in.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah because it was just on the wall, the knife wasn't even a usable knife, it was some bullshit.

BEN KISSEL

Antique, a decorative knife.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

A souvenir, yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. So Charles slowly pushed the knife in with his palm several times until Marion finally bled to death. Then from what Charles said he turned to Caril and said that they sure got themselves into a hell of a mess, to which Caril supposedly replied quote:

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

"Well it's what we always wanted."

BEN KISSEL

Well you guys want to change what you want.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I mean that's the idea.

BEN KISSEL

God dang brutal.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And there's a lot of talk. Was Caril Ann even there?

BEN KISSEL

Oh my goodness.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Because according to her she showed up after after the fact.

BEN KISSEL

Afterwards?

MARCUS PARKS

We're going to get to all that on the next episode.

BEN KISSEL

Ugh, this fucking asshole. So he has now four people that he has killed and in relatively quick succession, right? Because the robbery was just a couple of days before.

MARCUS PARKS

No, the robbery was about a moth and a half, two months before.

BEN KISSEL

Two months? Oh my goodness.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, now this is when it kicks off.

BEN KISSEL

I see, okay.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

This is the Natural Born Killers storyline.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Right. Well of course they make Mallory's father Rodney Dangerfield, a horrible person. In this case it's just very sad because it seemed like they were good parents.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes.

BEN KISSEL

They were just like leave my daughter alone.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You have to remember that somebody can be so, so stupid they can be very, very dangerous.

BEN KISSEL

Absolutely. I think people know.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. And so after watching TV for a little while, Charles got to the business of getting the bodies out of the house. He wrapped them with rugs, sheets, and house wrap. Betty Jean however was still bleeding, so Charles tossed the body in the sink until the rest of the blood drained out. Velda and Betty Jean's bodies were then dragged to the outhouse where Charles engaged in possibly the dumbest body disposal I've ever encountered. See Charles figured that he could dump the bodies down the shithole starting with Velda and no one would be the wiser.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Think about this. He thought that he could put the bodies in the toilet and then they would disappear.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, this is not a huge outhouse I can't imagine.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I think it's panic and being clinically stupid.

BEN KISSEL

Unbelievable.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. But when he tried shoving Velda's body in head first, it got stuck. So he figured good enough and left the body halfway in, halfway out.

BEN KISSEL

What do you mean good enough?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It wasn't.

BEN KISSEL

You don't think detectives are going to notice?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No, it wasn't good enough.

MARCUS PARKS

He then laid the body of Betty Jean on the outhouse seat next to the hole and closed the door. Charles then tried removing Marion's body but found it was too big to fit through the screen door. So Charles removed the door from its hinges, dragged the body to the back of the chicken coop, and for some reason laid the screen on top of the body.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

There you go, no bugs get it.

BEN KISSEL

So stupid.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

There you go. Oh it's a little door. No one will see that!

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, that's really great hiding.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, that transparent door. After the bodies were out of the house Charles and Caril Ann cleaned up the gore, straightened the mess, sprinkled perfume over the furniture to mask the copper scent of blood, and used the rug used to wrap Velda with one Charles found at the dump. Now he's using his head.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I should have just brought this whole rug.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, that would have been nice.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Maybe I could have avoided this whole afternoon.

BEN KISSEL

It seems like it was kind of needless.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah well anyway, it's the Lone Ranger!

BEN KISSEL

Wow.

MARCUS PARKS

Then they left the house, bought three bottles of Pepsi and a bag of potato chips at the store, and allegedly spent the next six days happily playing house in the same place where Caril Ann's entire family was murdered.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And according to Charlie-

MARCUS PARKS

According to Charlie-

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

The best week of his life.

MARCUS PARKS

And that's where we'll pick back up next week with the rest of Starkweather's rampage as well as Caril Ann's side of the story as to what really happened to her family on that gray January afternoon in Nebraska.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh God, it's down in Nebraska.

BEN KISSEL

Down in Nebraska.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's so far away, so far away down in the dark depths.

BEN KISSEL

And I want to remind y'all we'll be in Omaha, I'm just joking.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No, we already were. We were.

BEN KISSEL

I know, we were already there. Nebraska is a great place, it's not representative of the entire people.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Wow, really good.

BEN KISSEL

Yes, no problem.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Really good. But guys next week we're getting to the full rampage and then this month we're getting weird with it. I'm really excited, we're gonna get weird. Very excited for the topics coming up. And we will be in your town if you are in Buffalo or you're in, what's the Ohio city?

BEN KISSEL

Northfield.

MARCUS PARKS

Northfield? Yeah, Northfield.

BEN KISSEL

Northfield. It's a casino I believe.

MARCUS PARKS

Outside of Cleveland.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

We're gonna crush it. No way it's gonna be bad. And then my second hometown Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

BEN KISSEL

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

MARCUS PARKS

Pittsburgh. Always a fun time in Pittsburgh.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Can't wait.

MARCUS PARKS

And always a fun time in Buffalo, we played Buffalo a few years ago and it was great.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, Kissel got kicked out of that weird bar.

BEN KISSEL

That's right.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah. We'll figure it out this time.

BEN KISSEL

Also Northfield, never been but I'm sure it'll be a fun time. And then don't forget Beacon Theater New York, we have a couple of tickets left, so grab those.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

But they're going fast and we're not just saying that because they're not going fast.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No.

BEN KISSEL

One of my favorite thing is that people would be like almost sold out and then you call them on the phone being like hey, really doing good with the shows. I've sold 4.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I've sold 4. No, it's actually going very well. We can't wait to see people, man. I can't believe we're here! We're back in, baby!

MARCUS PARKS

We're having at it.

BEN KISSEL

Absolutely. All right everyone, well thank you so much for listening. Thanks for supporting all the shows here on the Last Podcast Network and never forget, hail yourselves!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Hail Satan!

MARCUS PARKS

Hail Gein!

BEN KISSEL

Megustalations everybody.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

(singing) And a hubba-hubba-hubba do the ice cream dance. Put the raspberries in your shoes!

BEN KISSEL

What a great beat to murder a family to.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's easy!