Episode 518 - The Troubled Teen Industry II

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No, you don't. You just be you, man.

BEN KISSEL

Just be me, man.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Be you, bro. I think that's what every series we've ever done, that's really what it's ever been about.

MARCUS PARKS

Is just be you, bro?

BEN KISSEL

Be you, bro.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Be you, dude. Because guess what man? Guess what the other guy gets to do?

MARCUS PARKS

What?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Be them. Can't be you. The only person gonna be you is you. Except for me, I'm many.

BEN KISSEL

You're an actor.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I'm an actor.

BEN KISSEL

A man of many voices that all sound Jamaican at some point.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

At some point only because as we now know, as I have discovered which one day linguistic experts will say, they will understand that the base of every single speaking accent is Jamaican.

BEN KISSEL

Fantastic. There we go.

MARCUS PARKS

And are you many or are you truly none?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I'm truly none.

MARCUS PARKS

Yes. You're truly a picture waiting to be filled with another personality.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I am zero, right. Today technically I'm Chuck Dederich. Right? So again, Henry is gone.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

All right.

BEN KISSEL

Yes.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's why I'm impervious to any form of crime or being accused of a crime because any time you put that on me, I'll be like who are you talking about? That was Mr. Benchipensch, right.

BEN KISSEL

Ah, Mr. Benchipensch.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Who is a magical haberdasher who happened to maybe not fill out all the forms for his taxes that he should have. But that was that guy doing it, not me.

BEN KISSEL

Yes. And when you get to prison of course you'll be the sexiest little mushroom boy around. Welcome to Last Podcast on the Left everyone. We are on to the troubled teen industry part two, specifically focusing on Synanon.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Synanon!

BEN KISSEL

Before there was Qanon, there was Synanon.

MARCUS PARKS

Now as we said last episode, the troubled teen industry certainly had spiritual precedents in America, such as the American Indian boarding schools that operated until the late 1960s. But when it comes to direct inspiration, no organization was more influential than Synanon.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And can you believe it was created by a 300 lb bag of gnocchi with half a missing face who somehow while being a true villain of American history is also one of the funniest guys you'll ever meet?

BEN KISSEL

Yeah. Well that's good, I'm happy he's fat and funny because fat and disgruntled, Michael Moore, Rob Reiner, it's a bad look. Rob Reiner being like, 'Meh, no one should smoke.' I was just watching the South Park episode where they made fun of Rob Reiner so basically I'll just copy and paste that into a written statement.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Same bit. Really good, really good.

MARCUS PARKS

See while the physical tortures inflicted on teenagers like spankings, solitary confinements, and beatings, they could be thought of by any regular old Joe.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No, man. I spanked myself today.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah!

BEN KISSEL

I know you did. I've seen the tushy footage. The thing about solitary, the thing about really suffering with torture, you can't flip it and reverse it. The spanking, you can get hard. The spanking you can really be like one more, daddy. And then they'll be like oh, let's not do it. But solitary, you really can't pretend to like it.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I love this! I love being alone a lot! That only can last for so long.

MARCUS PARKS

Well they can also just leave the room and then you're just screaming at yourself.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah. And guess what? Once you're alone with yourself, I should know very well, everything stops being entertaining.

MARCUS PARKS

Well while any regular old Joe can do physical torture, the psychological techniques used to pound these teens into square pegs, they were adapted from a complicated method of attack therapy created by Synanon called the game.

BEN KISSEL

I've seen some YouTube footage and Steven Seagal also does attack therapy.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He does. But all he has to do is use his tiny little flipper baby arms and then he can always defend himself. But today's episode is really kind of again the origins of what we just kind of touched on in the first episode and kind of where it all lead. Because this is again, it's not a Synanon series, it's a troubled teen industry series.

BEN KISSEL

Right.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But then Synanon, there's a lot to unpack here.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Wow.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

There was a 10 episode podcast just about Synanon done by Robert Downey Jr.

BEN KISSEL

Is that right?

MARCUS PARKS

You say by Robert Downey Jr. What do you mean by?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He was in an office at the same time when people under his name made a podcast about it.

MARCUS PARKS

Gotcha. So he showed up? You sure he showed up?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I'm certain that he was told at some point that he was doing that. But then when it came down to it, he's still begging to be Tony Stark again.

BEN KISSEL

I would believe Robert Downey Jr, he grew up in the troubled teen industry that is Hollyweird.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yep.

BEN KISSEL

He was addicted to drugs, his father had him doing cocaine at like 12. So I actually think he might be a proper voice in this. Now he's totally sober, his wife saved his life. I actually like Robert Downey Jr.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, so do I.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I do too. That Letterman interview he did was actually very interesting.

BEN KISSEL

Powerful, powerful.

MARCUS PARKS

Well unfortunately the people who founded and ran these troubled teen programs that took inspiration from Synanon, they were mostly sociopaths. Ergo they simplified Synanon's game to such a degree that this well meaning method for kicking addiction became the worst psychological torture of all.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's what's fun about an effective tool is that it's a shovel, right? You can dig a trench, right? But it can be used to feed children.

BEN KISSEL

Yes.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You can fill it with slop and your children will eat it.

BEN KISSEL

Or water. Maybe water.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Sure, whatever. Yeah. But then at the same time, that same trench, you can then push the kids into the slop, now it's a grave.

BEN KISSEL

Great.

MARCUS PARKS

But before we get into exactly-

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's very good, right?

MARCUS PARKS

It's very good, I love it.

BEN KISSEL

A gravy grave.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, from slop bucket to grave.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, that's it.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, it's that simple.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

All it takes is a there you go, just one little push.

BEN KISSEL

You can make any hole of grave if you just push somebody into it.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Just push somebody into it, yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

But before we get into exactly what the game was, let's talk about who created the game and where it was practiced. That was a drug rehab turned cult called Synanon. For this episode our main source is 'The Rise and Fall of Synanon' by Rod Janzen. While some argue that it's too soft on Synanon, it seems to be the most fair and balanced history of this fascinating organization right up to their dissolution following a bungled and bizarre attempted murder.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And if you do want even more information, there's a lot of it out there. Obviously I brought up that podcast but also there is the website paulmorantz.com that comes from the perspective of a person that very distinctly has a bone to pick with Synanon and you'll see why as we get through this episode.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But he basically, he's like 'The Rise and Fall of Synanon' doesn't understand the degrees of violence that we all suffered! But we'll see.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, I mean it really is a perfect crop to pick from when it comes to Synanon, former drug addicts or people dealing with drug addiction.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah.

BEN KISSEL

They're looking for help and then obviously they're going to be in a massive peril when they go through withdrawals and stuff.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Now we get to experiment on you. We took you at your most babyish form when you were literally dying.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You were super sick and then we took that dismantled personality of someone getting over drugs and now we're going to rebuild you in our way, which is a yelling screaming soldier for a man with half a face.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

That's why I'm going to start a new company ice cream for diabetics. They need it to live.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

There is that.

MARCUS PARKS

Well concerning that attempted murder, we also used an article about Synanon published in 2018 in Los Angeles Magazine by Hillel Aron, which nicely covers the incident that led to the downfall of the largest cult you've never heard of. Synanon was originally established as a sincere drug rehabilitation program in the 1950s that became a full fledged cult by 1975.

BEN KISSEL

What were the drugs in the 1950s? Whizzers, zappers, poppers, loopers?

MARCUS PARKS

Heroin!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Heroin.

MARCUS PARKS

So much heroin.

BEN KISSEL

Oh I see.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But also I'd love to find out because it seems like the heroin there was like real good in the 50s.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Really?

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. It's Charlie Parker heroin. It's good shit.

BEN KISSEL

Wow, okay. CIA heroin.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yep. Well no.

MARCUS PARKS

Actually I would say later heroin is more CIA heroin.

BEN KISSEL

Okay.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, that's when they started like and then they invented crack which must have been a fun afternoon. That's a whole other episode that we'll do.

MARCUS PARKS

This is like mobster heroin.

BEN KISSEL

Okay.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. Now billed as a community striving for a creative and effective approach to drug rehabilitation, Synanon was not the first drug rehab center but it was among the first to be taken seriously. See prior to the 50s, people with drug addiction problems with substances like heroin, they were either thrown in jail or mental institutions without even an attempt at treatment because the word treatment concerning addiction wasn't even in the lexicon. Usually the addicts caught in this cycle were shuttled in and out of these institutions until they died from their addiction or diseases of poverty, while the general public sort of just shrugged and said what are you gonna do?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Well because again it was a problem that was kind of new, even though it wasn't.

MARCUS PARKS

No.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It was an interesting way to kind of... We're looking at it for the first time, we're really now as a society all kind of seeing hey, it seems like a lot of people like heroin.

BEN KISSEL

I mean I think they missed a massive opportunity to give them a guitar, give them one of those little drums with the sticks that have the little things.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh again, jazz.

BEN KISSEL

Jazz.

MARCUS PARKS

You're talking about brush sticks.

BEN KISSEL

Brush sticks! It's about the notes you don't play.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah. Jazz drumming should make all the hair on your neck stand up.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. But once Synanon became popular and once people saw that it got results, people began to believe that addicts didn't have to die in streets like dogs.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Wow.

BEN KISSEL

What?

MARCUS PARKS

On the contrary, they could be rehabilitated and live normal lives under the right circumstances. And Synanon provided the framework for those circumstances by inventing a culture of recovery. Specifically Synanon pioneered the idea of the ex-addict turned drug counselor.

BEN KISSEL

Okay.

MARCUS PARKS

And as a result, graduates of the Synanon program, ex-addicts all, opened their own successful treatment centers in San Francisco, Tucson, Manhattan, and Queens.

BEN KISSEL

I just really hope they don't try this same thing with pedophiles. Cause that's gonna lead to a lot of horrible...

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Unless you could teach the pedophiles to be attracted to other pedophiles. Right? Like you get a super sexy pedophile in there amongst the other pedophiles-

BEN KISSEL

Oh yeah, I've seen Chris Hansen, they're always super sexy when they come through the door.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Every once in a while there's kind of like an R. Kelly. Technically he's a handsome pedophile, right?

BEN KISSEL

Sure.

MARCUS PARKS

Technically. Okay, sure.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And so you get him in there, right. He gets them all lathered up and shit, maybe then they can also fall in love with each other and be like just imagine I have a big lollipop, imagine I'm much smaller.

BEN KISSEL

Right.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Right?

BEN KISSEL

I feel like you're really onto something.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. So your idea is to treat pedophiles with the magic of imagination?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes.

BEN KISSEL

Wow.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You mean the power of theater. Which is why when I do my all pedophile Titus Andronicus, all of LA's fine art community will arrive to see my work.

BEN KISSEL

Just one lonely person clapping in the back and that indeed is Rob Reiner.

MARCUS PARKS

Well Synanon was actually founded right here in the Greater Los Angeles area, out in Santa Monica, by a man named Chuck Dederich who actually coined the phrase:

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

"Today is the first day of the rest of your life."

BEN KISSEL

Wow. You never realize that someone had to say that first.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. That was a Synanon phrase.

BEN KISSEL

Wow.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, so what's tomorrow?

BEN KISSEL

The second day of the rest of your fucking life, you moron.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Whatever dude.

MARCUS PARKS

It's the second day of your life.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Second day's first loser.

BEN KISSEL

We're not playing Mario Kart.

MARCUS PARKS

Well Chuck Dederich was a-

BEN KISSEL

Doesn't even make sense.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Second day's first loser, man.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, you nailed it. Really good.

MARCUS PARKS

Chuck Dederich was a Gulf Oil sales executive from Toledo, Ohio who was a self admitted alcoholic for 20 years. His drinking problem was blamed on a bout of meningitis that required a mastoidectomy that caved in the right side of his face.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Let's just say I got phantom cheek syndrome. The problem is that every time I try to drink, I just imagine I got an extra cheek I gotta fill. Turns out it's not there. So now I'm drinking double.

BEN KISSEL

Whoa! Was part of his brain gone, then?

MARCUS PARKS

No, part of his skull.

BEN KISSEL

Just part of his skull.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, I think a mastoidectomy, I looked it up. I think they just kind of pull out part of your skull.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's all infected.

MARCUS PARKS

Meningitis, yeah, they just kind of scoop it out. And because they scoop it out like half your face is flat because it doesn't have any bone.

BEN KISSEL

How did he get meningitis, was he sucking toes or something? What happened?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He got it as a kid.

MARCUS PARKS

It was a whole thing.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Abraham Lincoln, didn't he have that?

MARCUS PARKS

Meningitis?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

A mass-tec-tiotomies?

BEN KISSEL

No, he was just in the closet.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Face. No, no, no, no, no. He sucked dick but he only did it with the half, half of his face that fucking worked. There was something that he did-

BEN KISSEL

No, he had a full functioning face until it was shot off.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No, he was diagnosed with a facial defect.

BEN KISSEL

That's just people being rude in the 1800s.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, he had an aberration called craniofacial microsomia.

BEN KISSEL

That's just what they called people who they thought were ugly back then.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Hee just had skeleton head.

BEN KISSEL

Yes.

MARCUS PARKS

By the early 1950s Chuck Dederich was just a regular schlub in Toledo with a divorce under his belt. So he moved to southern California to gain some perspective and he brought his drinking problem with him.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I'll tell you what, a divorce certainly was under my belt because she certainly was fucking me in my ass.

BEN KISSEL

There you go. I understand. Financially perhaps.

MARCUS PARKS

By 1956 when Chuck was 43 years old, his second wife left him because of his continued drinking.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Man, he could still pull.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And he looked like he looks like a fucking Captain Planet villain.

BEN KISSEL

It was back in the day where if you even look at someone for like 15 seconds you're like well we better make this official.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes.

BEN KISSEL

And then you go get married.

MARCUS PARKS

Well after she left him, she suggested on her way out the door that he might try Alcoholics Anonymous if he ever wanted to get his shit together.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Okay.

MARCUS PARKS

He's 43 before Synanon even begins.

BEN KISSEL

Okay.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That shows life doesn't end at 40.

MARCUS PARKS

That's right.

BEN KISSEL

No, it doesn't.

MARCUS PARKS

And sure enough once Chuck started attending AA meetings in Beverly Hills, he fell in love with the AA process partly because he could use the meetings as an open mic to tell stories which were by all accounts quite entertaining.

BEN KISSEL

They better have been.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He stand up comedied his way into being a cult leader.

BEN KISSEL

Wow.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Because he started going to AA... Because you do testimonies in AA.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

We don't know because I am not a quitter. But you talk about what your experience was and he'd go up there and he'd Chappelle it.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He'd take the mic for like fucking 45 minutes when everyone's waiting but he's crushing so hard and he's running the light, no one wants to stop him. He keeps slapping the mic with his knee every time he laughs.

BEN KISSEL

Wow. That's Chappelle, that's his copywritten move.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Tell.

MARCUS PARKS

Well after two years in AA, Dederich decided to participate in an experiment at UCLA hat wanted to test the effectiveness of LSD on alcoholics. And this may or may not have been one of the lighter MK Ultra experiments. But not every LSD experiment done at a university in the late 50s was funded by the CIA. Just most of them are funded by the CIA. The vast majority, 99% of them were funded by the CIA.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I definitely think it falls into the realm of coincidence of the fact that it's another person that is in this counterculture world that was touched by some form of... What did we learn about MK Ultra? The ultimate, the best part about them is that you don't even know you're MK Ultra until fucking years later. You didn't know until the fucking 80s that you were MK Ultra because you just were getting that shadow money. So apparently it had a lot of long reaching-

MARCUS PARKS

Consequences.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Consequences.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Absolutely. What about sobriety?

MARCUS PARKS

Positive and negative.

BEN KISSEL

Doesn't taking a bunch of acid inhibit your sobriety?

MARCUS PARKS

No. That's what Dederich said, no.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Well we'll talk about this because-

BEN KISSEL

It seems like he's not sober if he takes a bunch of acid.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Technically you're Cali sober if you do everything but alcohol.

BEN KISSEL

Okay.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. Because that's the thing, he's staying off of alcohol.

BEN KISSEL

But I thought a a was also like a wide-

MARCUS PARKS

That's what we're getting into, yeah. I mean Dederich said that the experience was highly beneficial, made him look at his alcoholism in an entirely new way.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Actually my alcoholism is a tetrahedron inside this crystal that is my soul and the only thing I need to do is understand me, understand pizza, and I will defeat my own alcoholism.

MARCUS PARKS

But it rubbed the Alcoholics Anonymous leadership the wrong way because they believed that the only things you needed to not drink alcohol was coffee, cigarettes, and a higher power.

BEN KISSEL

Also very bad for you.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Cigarettes, probably the worst of all.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Sometimes something's gotta give.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Again, we said it the last episode, let the kids vape.

MARCUS PARKS

Now this belief had actually never sat all that well Chuck Dederich in the first place. He'd never been comfortable with AA's religious focus because he believed that it was important for addicts to develop self reliance. He did however believe that the group therapy and community aspects of AA were key.

BEN KISSEL

You're never gonna find Helena Bonham Carter when you go to these meetings.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

What?

BEN KISSEL

Fight Club.

MARCUS PARKS

Fight Club.

BEN KISSEL

It's all men that are overweight chainsmoking.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But in AA I believe you're not supposed to have sex with the other people that are in your chapter. I believe that that is against it. You're not supposed to date.

BEN KISSEL

You're not supposed to but I mean that's your friend group. What else you gonna do? That's the bar now.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I don't know, I feel like there's a lot of sexy challenged people in these groups. You never know.

BEN KISSEL

Maybe.

MARCUS PARKS

Might be, who knows? So after the AA leadership insisted that he find treatment elsewhere because of his LSD use, Chuck decided to start his own version of addiction treatment that would fall in line with his own beliefs.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's confidence.

BEN KISSEL

So AA is the reason Synanon exists!

MARCUS PARKS

Oh yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah. Well it's his reaction to it. Because he also was an atheist and he did not believe in a higher power aspect of it. He wanted to find a secular way to do it. But it is interesting to see that he just loved being on mic so much that he was just like I need to do this for a living, I need to call big J.

BEN KISSEL

Wow.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I need to get in the mix in the Austin scene.

BEN KISSEL

Absolutely.

MARCUS PARKS

But once he began tapering off from AA meetings, other recovering alcoholics would check up on him because they liked him. Pretty much his fans were like hey bro, you never come into AA meetings anymore.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You fucking crushed it in the meeting dude, where are you, man?

BEN KISSEL

Wow.

MARCUS PARKS

Fucking sucks without you there.

BEN KISSEL

Wow.

MARCUS PARKS

And those checkups, they evolved into impromptu meetings. And those impromptu meetings evolved further into thrice weekly meetings in Dederich's apartment.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He is correct in the fact that the fucking cult arrived to him at first before it became a cult, the group just showed up.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Wow, so this is really... He's like I didn't ask you to come here, you all just showed up.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

I guess I'm a cult leader now?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I think he did a little bit like yeah, I've heard those meetings are boring without me. Like he did a couple of that.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He knew. And then he started hitting them with the charm, hitting them with the sparkle.

BEN KISSEL

Okay.

MARCUS PARKS

What changed everything though was when a heroin addict named Whitey Walker joined the group just after he was released from prison. Now the group therapy sessions led by Dederich were always a little more aggressive than what they had in AA because that's how Dederich liked it. But Whitey Walker introduced a new dynamic. Soon Whitey was bringing other addicts that Dederich non pejoratively referred to as dope fiends and the more dope fiends that showed up, the coarser the language got and the more aggressive the sessions became.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Dederich is of the Tony Robbins school that cursing and saying super hyper confrontational things helps engage street people.

MARCUS PARKS

Yes.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And makes you feel more real or grounded, this idea that I'm a real guy, I'm just a normal guy.

BEN KISSEL

Don't demean the great name of Tony Robbins. He's 6'7" and above. So I must support him.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

There's a lot of issues around Tony Robbins right now.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But it's his style. This is kind of where it came from was because Diederich thought, he was like I'm yelling at these guys and he's calling them dope fiends in a way that's kind of like a light roasting because it's about us taking the word back.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, a little bit.

BEN KISSEL

Whitey Walker definitely should have been doing cocaine.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

BEN KISSEL

A name like Whitey Walker, that guy, all white suit, pimped out, full of beautiful pure uncut Colombian cocaine.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It'd be cool if you find out you think he's a coke dealer but it turns out he just sells milk.

BEN KISSEL

2%, huh? Wow.

MARCUS PARKS

But the thing is that Dederich with these super abrasive meetings, very aggressive, he was getting results in a way that AA wasn't getting results. And he's getting results with fucking heroin addicts.

BEN KISSEL

Wow.

MARCUS PARKS

So when the gatherings got too big for Dederich's apartment, he went for broke and leased a storefront in Santa Monica. He invited 20 alcoholics and so-called dope fiends to come live there in what was effectively an early version of a rehab facility.

BEN KISSEL

Hold on a second. We had a hard time getting a fucking lease in New York because we have a podcast studio.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yep.

BEN KISSEL

How the hell did the landlord be like so 20 dope fiends, former alcoholics, come right in!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Actually incredible. I have a couple of couches I want to give you guys but I need them back, I'm just lending them to you. No, it was a different time period.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

No, no, they didn't like it. He didn't tell them hey, we're gonna be moving a bunch of heroin addicts and alcoholics into this place. And once he did, once they figured out what was going on, the entire neighborhood was like get the fuck out of here.

BEN KISSEL

Okay.

MARCUS PARKS

It was the first of many confrontations that Chuck Dederich would have with his neighbors. He does not get along well with others.

BEN KISSEL

Much as people feel of influencers now.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I mean technically I don't want to illustrate where we're at but there is an influencer house down the street and it is pretty funny to pull up and watch two guys doing weird like muay thai karate on a dummy out front while another guy shoots them and a girl's twerking next to them. And you kind of wonder are y'all paying for anything or is Robert Downey Jr paying for this too?

BEN KISSEL

I think they're making that money on TIkTok.

MARCUS PARKS

Now as far as what Chuck wanted to call his new venture, the origins of the name are debated. Some say that it's a combination of the words symposium and seminar, while others think it's a play on the word sinners, synthesize, or synagogue. But no matter the origin, what came out the other end was Synanon.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Well again, great name.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Three syllables. And it sounds like it's connected to recovery.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Because you have stuff like Alcoholics Anonymous, there's Al-Anon, there's Narconon, like all those things that are a part of it. I think Narconon is technically Scientology.

MARCUS PARKS

Oh is it?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I think.

MARCUS PARKS

I don't think Narconon is Scientology. Yeah, I know someone who does Narconon meetings and they don't seem like the type who will go to a Scientology thing.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

They don't say. There's one of those that they don't say that it is.

BEN KISSEL

I was trying to figure out what the term anon means and evidently it means-

MARCUS PARKS

Anonymous.

BEN KISSEL

It means shortly. It says I'll see you anon which I guess means soon.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Literally yes, that's Shakespeare.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, (British accent) I shall see you anon.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

BEN KISSEL

But in this case it's anonymous.

MARCUS PARKS

Anonymous, yeah.

BEN KISSEL

I got you.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah it is on scientology.org, they have Narconon right at the very top.

MARCUS PARKS

Wow.

BEN KISSEL

Great.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yep.

MARCUS PARKS

Wow. Okay.

BEN KISSEL

Good. Perfect. Good to know.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

That's how they get you.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You just never know.

BEN KISSEL

You never know.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

At least it's on the website. A lot of guys looking at pamphlets on this website so there's a lot of interest building.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. Now Dederich believe that addiction was not so much an illness that could be cured as it was a behavioral problem that was caused by underlying social and psychological issues which ain't a bad guess.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Bit of both, isn't it?

MARCUS PARKS

But it is worth noting that Dederich was a salesman before he founded Synanon.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And I'll tell you, I can sell a ketchup popsicle to a bitch that likes mustard.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, absolutely. I knew you were gonna steal that line from Tommy Boy and I called you on it. Your father was such a good salesman he could sell a ketchup popsicle to a woman wearing white gloves.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

White gloves.

BEN KISSEL

Ketchup popsicle? We're 40. Marcus, you'll be 40 next week!

MARCUS PARKS

I will be. I'll be 40 a week from today.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Wow.

BEN KISSEL

Welcome to the club.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You know what? I'll tell you what. We're only getting younger.

BEN KISSEL

No.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And we're getting more fresh and we're getting more available to the young.

MARCUS PARKS

The culture is getting younger and older at the same time. So we're evening out.

BEN KISSEL

We're evening out.

MARCUS PARKS

I'm right in the middle. I'm where I should be.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

We don't have any choice.

BEN KISSEL

No, it's not up to us.

MARCUS PARKS

Well Dederich had no more experience in treatment care than the people who founded Straight Inc or WWASP. But to place Dederich apart, he was rarely sadistic and could be said in at least the 1st 10 years to have been quite caring.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He seemed like a fun guy for a while.

MARCUS PARKS

For a while, yeah. And he was sadistic sometimes.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh he got to there. No, he got extremely violent.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. Well I wouldn't say extremely violent. When we're talking about cults...

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Well after Ant Hill Kids nothing can be called violent again.

MARCUS PARKS

Or Jonestown, yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah, of course, yeah. But that was just the one big one.

BEN KISSEL

I mean I remember like sometimes you want to smack your friend who's just hungover because they're annoying.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

So it must truly be difficult to deal with a bunch of people who are going through withdrawal. Sometimes you just have to be like Tommy, your shit belongs in the toilet, not on your face! And so at some point you do have to kind of get upset.

MARCUS PARKS

Wow, that's the thing. Man, you're about to have your mind fucking blown here.

BEN KISSEL

Yes.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah dude.

MARCUS PARKS

Well similar to other cult leaders with initial good intentions like Jim Jones, Chuck's ego eventually got out of hand. And while it never got to Jonestown levels, Chuck and Jim's paths would cross just before the shit hit the fan in Guyana.

BEN KISSEL

Whoa.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Think about this. This shit is happening in SoCal.

BEN KISSEL

What?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

There is a lot of the same guys. L. Ron's in town, fucking Jim Jones is in town.

BEN KISSEL

Jim Parsons?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

These guys are all there, dude. It's just wild to think that like all of this shit was happening. Charles Manson, all this was happening at the same time.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. And this guy, Chuck Dederich. Synanon became truly innovative starting in 1959 with the introduction of the cop-out method which was later used extensively and wrongly in the troubled teen schools. See a lot of addicts at Synanon were admitting that they were still using drugs and they knew that other people were still using drugs but they were keeping it all to themselves because their brains were hardwired against snitching.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's the number one criminal crime is to snitch.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You know what I mean? And you learn it's omerta.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You don't fucking tell everybody everybody's business because you never know who's a fucking cop.

BEN KISSEL

Absolutely.

MARCUS PARKS

But Dederich convinced everyone in Synanon that snitching on yourself and others was not only preferable but essential to the recovery process, to snitch. Honesty, he said, bound you to the community. And that concept became central to Synanon's most well known and influential method. See after several open ended discussions in which people snitched on each other's drug use, the group began digging deeper at what else everyone was keeping secret. People started getting very honest about everything.

BEN KISSEL

People stop being fake and start getting real. It's the Synanon Real World house.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That is kind of where all that came from. I do believe that this is the true inspiration for all of that style of shit.

BEN KISSEL

The only thing missing is cameras and Dr. Drew.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

But this inspired what came to be known as the game. In the game all players were required to be intimately honest with each other using a series of what they called indictments to attack hypocrisy and fraud in a fellow group member.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Also I know another game and you just lost it.

BEN KISSEL

What?

MARCUS PARKS

Oh yeah.

BEN KISSEL

What?

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

The game. You just lost it.

BEN KISSEL

Why?

MARCUS PARKS

You don't need to...

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He doesn't know this?

MARCUS PARKS

No, no, no.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But it's like schoolyard, man. Schoolyard game.

BEN KISSEL

You never had time in the schoolyard.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No, I was out there with all the boys.

BEN KISSEL

No you weren't.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, I played handball.

BEN KISSEL

No you didn't.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I played handball and then we did sometimes play married life where I would be a husband.

BEN KISSEL

Oh my god.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And then I played superheroes and then we played with the Ouija board but I did play handball.

BEN KISSEL

Okay.

MARCUS PARKS

You played handball.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yes.

BEN KISSEL

Little hands. It's a little racket.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But the game is a thing that you say and then if you say the game, you become aware of the game, you've lost it.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

I don't know. I don't know.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's like I'm talking to my father.

BEN KISSEL

I don't know!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

So disappointed.

BEN KISSEL

I'll be your father. (clears throat) Henry Thomas. End me! End me!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh god. Now you're making me sad. Now it's too real.

MARCUS PARKS

You sound like a teenager trying to explain 4Chan to his uncle.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's difficult.

MARCUS PARKS

Like how cool 4Chan is.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's cool, man.

BEN KISSEL

Now 4Chan, so that's the fourth grandson of Jackie Chan. Is that correct?

MARCUS PARKS

Well in the game, like I said all players were required to be intimately honest. And the idea was that this introduced a brutal kind of accountability that led to the development of personal integrity, a drop in impulsive action, and a sense of social responsibility.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And remember at this time period this is all done with consenting hardcore adults.

MARCUS PARKS

Yes it is. That is key.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

At the very top of this there was a kind of an edge to it that did seem to be helpful.

BEN KISSEL

Right.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Like it was a little bit of it.

BEN KISSEL

Because obviously we're discussing the troubled teen industry.

MARCUS PARKS

Yes. And this is adults.

BEN KISSEL

Okay.

MARCUS PARKS

Because the idea is that you might think twice about doing something shitty if you knew that you'd be publicly balled out during a game session for doing that shitty thing.

BEN KISSEL

Gotcha.

MARCUS PARKS

And by Dederich's reckoning, drug addicts couldn't hide anything if they expected to be clean because secrecy was the root of their addiction.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I mean it's a simplification but yeah.

BEN KISSEL

I guess.

MARCUS PARKS

No, I mean that's the thing is that the game and Synanon worked for some people just like AA works for some people.

BEN KISSEL

Sure. I mean I'm just saying when I think of drug addicts I don't think of secrecy because you see them in New York-

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

All they do is run their mouth.

BEN KISSEL

They're talking or kind of falling over but also not. That's what the Twin Towers needed, heroin. Have you ever seen... They should have had one entire floor just full of heroin. They're like nah, I'll get back up just fine.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But you know what they're not being honest with is anybody but themselves.

MARCUS PARKS

Well that's the thing is Synanon is a program for people who do keep it a secret.

BEN KISSEL

And they need to talk.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, they need to talk.

MARCUS PARKS

They need to talk, they want to talk.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Sure.

MARCUS PARKS

They are actively asking for this. And people who participated, they said they felt invigorated afterward. Their behavior, some people, it changed significantly.

BEN KISSEL

Great.

MARCUS PARKS

As far as how a game session went, they lasted between 2-3 hours and were comprised of 8-15 players. And all of this was transposed in an extremely simplified form to the troubled teen industry, to many of the troubled teen schools.

BEN KISSEL

Okay.

MARCUS PARKS

Each player was asked to quote "run their story" which was their cue to open up their life to the other players.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Like me, I'm a fuckable, unstoppable force of nature.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And everybody says Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, stop fucking, all right? Leave some ladies for the rest of us. And I was like all right, I will quit the booze.

MARCUS PARKS

Well after opening up, the other players confronted lies and weaknesses in a public forum of analytical and humorous gossip, no holds barred. You could attack interpersonal issues, work patterns, emotions, idiosyncrasies, basically any weak spot.

BEN KISSEL

Sounds like a Comedy Central roast of an alcoholic.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah. And honestly a lot of those... More lives have been changed inside of roasts than have in most rehab centers, I'm pretty certain.

BEN KISSEL

Yes indeed.

MARCUS PARKS

But the thing, I mean it is a roast but it's an uncorked roast.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Okay. Uncorked roast.

MARCUS PARKS

But, and this is absolutely key, the point of the game was not to attack the person but to attack the behavior.

BEN KISSEL

Hate the sin, not the sinner.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes.

MARCUS PARKS

Exactly. This allowed the target to separate themselves and look at what they were doing rather than absorbing the abuse personally. The problem was that when the game was adapted to troubled teen programs like the Elan School or Straight Inc, no such distinction was made, that subtlety was lost. In essence they were handing this fairly complicated and subtle method to emotionally unstable, traumatized teenagers who were usually just looking to transfer the pain they'd received to whoever was next in line.

BEN KISSEL

So the drugs aren't the problem, you're the problem.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's the idea. But then you even say that it's complicated and subtle but where would it go? Actually it's a different process that I think a lot of other therapies. Maybe I'm wrong here but it sounds like it started-

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, it doesn't sound complicated at all.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But it started complicated and subtle and actually became more simplified as it went.

MARCUS PARKS

Well yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Because as they started doing the game more and more, the more abusive it became as we'll see.

MARCUS PARKS

Yes. Oh yeah, very much so. But in Synanon the game, at least in the early days, it was described as an emotional dance. It was a dream that could either be a nightmare or a pleasant experience. And I realized there's no word for a good dream.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah there is.

MARCUS PARKS

Nightmare. That's one word.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, what's the word for a pleasant dream?

MARCUS PARKS

There isn't one.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah there is.

MARCUS PARKS

What is it?

BEN KISSEL

Euphoria.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's the name of a tv show where teens are doing naughty things.

BEN KISSEL

No, there's gotta be something.

MARCUS PARKS

There's not.

BEN KISSEL

Dream...

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Pleasurntdream.

BEN KISSEL

Plursurtdream.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Pleasurndream.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, I guess you just say pleasant dream.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Nice dream.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's how very few times a nice dream happens.

MARCUS PARKS

That's right. Isn't that true?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I only have nightmares.

BEN KISSEL

I had a dream I couldn't stand up.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Wow.

BEN KISSEL

I was going through a lot of knee pains because of the because of the weather, because of the rain. My knees were hurting.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

So you just sat in a chair in your dream?

BEN KISSEL

No, I was trying to stand up and fight people but I couldn't stand up.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's really sad. That's hard.

BEN KISSEL

My knees were hurting.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Wow.

MARCUS PARKS

Wow. Interesting.

BEN KISSEL

Yes indeed.

MARCUS PARKS

Interesting.

BEN KISSEL

Move on.

MARCUS PARKS

I had a dream last night that I was being choked in a garage full of silver balloons.

BEN KISSEL

Buddy, that wasn't a dream.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah dude, that happened.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, we were there.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Sorry dude.

BEN KISSEL

Sorry.

MARCUS PARKS

(choking sounds)

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, we fucked you up real good, dude.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

We hired a TaskRabbit. Yeah, he was so good. I gave him four stars though because five stars is something special.

BEN KISSEL

He was actually dressed as a huge rabbit.

MARCUS PARKS

Okay. Well I thought it was just the breathing problems I've been having.

BEN KISSEL

Henry and I are doing our own CIA.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, we're PSYOP-ing you.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, you don't know that. We just blew the cover.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I mean but he'll forget.

MARCUS PARKS

I'll forget, yeah. That's the thing, you just say the magic word and it'll just go back. Say like peabody! And then I'm done.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Artichoke.

MARCUS PARKS

Ah! So in other words it was-

BEN KISSEL

Nailed it.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Wink.

MARCUS PARKS

In other words, it was something far too complex and sensitive to be directed by sociopaths and/or traumatized teens, because sometimes it was both. But one thing that both the game and the troubled teen attack therapies like a Elan School's general meeting shared was the use of extreme profanity.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's kinda fun.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Dederich believe that the use of obscenity and blasphemy helped lower inhibitions which can be fun if it's all adults. But when it's used by teens it's usually just a bunch of fucks strung together with no real structure or purpose.

BEN KISSEL

Right.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I feel like I used more curse words in a general sense when I was younger.

BEN KISSEL

Absolutely.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But now I like to use them more and I use them more effectively.

BEN KISSEL

Absolutely.

MARCUS PARKS

They're pointed. Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Come!

BEN KISSEL

Come. Which is technically not even a curse word.

MARCUS PARKS

It's not but you made me laugh. Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's that easy.

BEN KISSEL

I know, I used to just say full sentences that were all curse words.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

All curse words.

BEN KISSEL

But you could understand what I... Get that fucking bullshit out of my goddamn asshole.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Cock and ass and fuck, yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. And that's basically what happened.

BEN KISSEL

Right.

MARCUS PARKS

Now the game wasn't the only method taken from Synanon. Like the Elan Schools, new Synanon residents had to break outside relations for the first 90 days.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's the first step.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

That's bad.

MARCUS PARKS

Although that could be extended to a year if those outside relations were deemed detrimental.

BEN KISSEL

Well that's the first thing that is a red flag to me.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

And similarly anything that might distract the addict was taken away. For example, Synanon was extremely popular amongst the jazz community because heroin was very popular amongst the jazz community.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's how you get relaxed.

BEN KISSEL

It makes sense.

MARCUS PARKS

So most jazz musicians were barred from playing instruments or singing for the first part of their stay at a Synanon center.

BEN KISSEL

I actually wanna thank Synanon for saving my favorite bar on Friday nights. Jazz night has been canceled.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's kind of fun though. But it is sad to have a room where specifically no saxophones are allowed.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, that's weird.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, that is weird. No saxophones.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Not a single saxophone.

MARCUS PARKS

But it's specifically pointedly no saxophones or trumpets.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I mean that's also again, I feel like a saxophone's more friendly.

MARCUS PARKS

Really?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

If you're bringing a trumpet to a meeting it sounds like you're trying to disrupt something.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, that's true.

MARCUS PARKS

I feel like a trumpet is friendlier, I feel like a saxophone is a very aggressive instrument.

BEN KISSEL

No but you can play the sax and the sax can sound beautiful alone. A trumpet is just (trumpet sounds).

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

(trumpet sounds)

MARCUS PARKS

Maybe I just have those associations because of the saxophone guy that used to be on the L train.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, pay me to stop.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, pay me to stop. Yeah. That was back when it was fun.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Back when it was fun.

BEN KISSEL

Yes.

MARCUS PARKS

But all of this, these are the seeds of the cult-like behavior that Synanon would eventually fall prey to. Another was the institution of something nonsensically called Ramadula.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It will become a pattern.

BEN KISSEL

Sounds like a name from The Waterboy. Ramadula!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Ramadula.

BEN KISSEL

You hanging out with them Ramadula (Southern mumbling).

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But Chuck Dederich loved the sound of his own voice, right.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And he was constantly improving these monologues and people would go like this kind of started early and then just got worse and worse and worse as it went. But it does sound like a lot of people adopted his little pets sayings and then they became official terminology for the club.

BEN KISSEL

I mean fuck dude, literally fuck, we all say that sentence that he created, it's the first day of the rest of your life.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah. No, he was a quote machine.

BEN KISSEL

Wow. I mean that's pretty incredible to be honest.

MARCUS PARKS

Well in Ramadula, Synanon members had to act unnaturally upbeat no matter what they were doing and visitors often described being met with an unsettling sea of smiles in Synanon facilities.

BEN KISSEL

Ugh. I hate that.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's what he took from AA which is act as if. Act as if you were the person you wanted to be and the idea of you fake it til you make it.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah but why would you want to be a smiling buffoon all the time?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I don't know.

BEN KISSEL

Because that's not the right emotion for 90% of life.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But straight up Chuck Dederich said that I want you to be so busy when I look at you, you're nothing but a blur of teeth and pink.

BEN KISSEL

Sounds like my manager at Wendy's.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

That's what your manager at Wendy's said? That she wanted you to be a blur of teeth and pink?

BEN KISSEL

If you've got time to lean, you've got time to clean.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Actually leaning doesn't take a lot of time.

BEN KISSEL

No it doesn't.

MARCUS PARKS

It really doesn't. You really will not let go of if you got time to lean, you got time to clean.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's the most offensive thing that has ever been said to him.

BEN KISSEL

I've worked at eight fast food restaurants, every time I got a fine for breaking the law I had to go pay it off and I had to go to a fast food job.

MARCUS PARKS

Well Synanon, they actually got a lot of positive attention in their early days and some of it was oddly prophetic. A senator named Thomas Dodd declared that Synanon could quote "lead the way in the future to an effective treatment for not only drug addicts but also criminals and juvenile delinquents."

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Senators immediately looking to find... Because they just want a one stop shop where it's like great, we'll take these troubled people, we'll fucking put them in a room, boom, done, they're done, they're fixed, boom back in the workforce. Like they just don't give a shit.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

They don't care, they just think that they can do it fast.

BEN KISSEL

To be honest though it seems more sympathetic than the war on drugs.

MARCUS PARKS

Oh it's very much-

BEN KISSEL

At the very least they're like well let's not incarcerate them, let's go to meetings.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No, sure, absolutely.

MARCUS PARKS

Yes.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I could see this actually... Well no obviously because it's gonna spiral out of control but if it stays good, it could have been something good.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, it could have been.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It just seems to be that it never does.

BEN KISSEL

No, it doesn't.

MARCUS PARKS

Well it's ego, it's always egos getting out of control. It's why Jim Jones and Chuck Dederich are very similar because they're men who start off with good intentions, I do believe they do have good intentions at first with. With Jim Jones it was racial equality, with Chuck Dederich it's treatment of addicts. But at one point either they get bored or their ego gets fed, their ego just gets too fat and they just lose it. And then when substances come into play, with Jim Jones it was amphetamines, with Chuck Dederich it's gonna be the relapse of alcoholism.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

It just spins out of control and things get real fucking weird.

BEN KISSEL

I'm trying to think of anyone that has started anything with bad intentions and ironically it turned out to be good. It's kind of interesting that most things people do think they're doing good and then it turns bad.

MARCUS PARKS

That's why we have that whole saying, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I feel like we developed a whole series of drones that will blow people up and now they make incredible cheap shots in our favorite superhero movies.

BEN KISSEL

That's worth it.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

It's worth the 20 year war.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Plus the next 1000 year war we're about to have.

MARCUS PARKS

It's pretty good, yeah. We got those cool shots in Smile.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Hey man, think about that!

BEN KISSEL

Oh really cool.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

They lent Tom Cruise, they lent that slaveowner full jest to just fly around in the sky. It's incredible.

BEN KISSEL

Big jets. That's true. Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And they're in movies and we like it but before they were being used as strafe by civilians.

BEN KISSEL

Okay great, good, sure.

MARCUS PARKS

Well a little like Scientology, Synanon attracted a fair amount of attention from the entertainment business. Besides the aforementioned jazz musicians, a feature film based on Synanon's founding called Synanon was released in 1965 co starring Eartha Kitt in a supporting role as Chuck Dederich's wife Betty.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Whoa.

BEN KISSEL

Oh my god.

MARCUS PARKS

Let's play a little bit of the trailer.

BEN KISSEL

Can we see Eartha Kitt?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes. Oh yes.

BEN KISSEL

One of the most beautiful women that's ever lived.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

She's beautiful.

MARCUS PARKS

She's incredible.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

(purring)

BEN KISSEL

She's always my Catwoman.

MARCUS PARKS

(purring)

LPOTL

(Audio Clip)

Synanon is a real corporation. It's business is junkies. Chuck Dederich is the ex drunk who dreamed it up and fights to keep it from becoming a nightmare.

Get outta the car and shut up! Stand over there! Put your hands against the wall, get in that cell and stay there!

But nobody tells me what to do.

Then the ex-con with a killer's fist tensed so tight for a fix they bleed.

Look Betty, I don't make scenes with chicks because I've got other things on my mind.

Dollface with a deadly expensive appetite.

What are you my nurse?

No, just another dope fiend.

Zankie, the hiphop head up from the gutter to grab anything he could get.

BEN KISSEL

Cool.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, Zankie doesn't make it by the way.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, Zankie's not going anywhere.

BEN KISSEL

Wow, you could almost hear the big fat tithes of spenders.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No, it's cool cause again, talk about a movie that at least everybody who's in it looks horrible.

BEN KISSEL

Do they? Not Eartha Kitt.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Not Eartha Kitt.

MARCUS PARKS

Eartha Kitt looks great, yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But Chuck Dederich, it's so nice to not have him not played by like Joaquin Phoenix.

BEN KISSEL

Oh I know.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's just like a fat ugly guy playing a fat ugly guy. It's revelatory.

BEN KISSEL

I loved the dude who played Penguin. He did a great job.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He was great.

BEN KISSEL

But they could have just-

MARCUS PARKS

Danny DeVito?

BEN KISSEL

No.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No, Colin Farrell.

BEN KISSEL

Colin Farrell.

MARCUS PARKS

Oh that's right, yeah.

BEN KISSEL

They could also just hire an ugly actor every now and again.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's hard, man.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Ugly actors, a lot of times they're guilty of crimes.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

The person who should have played the Penguin who truly seems evil judging by all of his stories is Joey Diaz.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Technically yes, he is guilty of kidnapping.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, you think about the ugly actors that would be good at playing Penguin that's also a criminal, Jeffrey Jones.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Jeffrey Jones as well, actual criminal.

MARCUS PARKS

Actual criminal.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Exactly.

BEN KISSEL

He's the principal.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Hire criminals to play criminals, please. Representation.

BEN KISSEL

Fantastic.

MARCUS PARKS

Now within 10 years of its founding, right around the time that the Synanon movie was released in theaters, Chuck Dederich's unlicensed rehab startup had 1100 members and was getting $2.5 million a year in donations.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Wow.

MARCUS PARKS

It owned $7 million in real estate in five states, it had its own merch business, and it ran a number of gas stations.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He learned that from Scientology is that you buy into real estate.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

He actually is a better businessman than all of Adult Swim. They actually have merch.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He is. Yep.

MARCUS PARKS

Yep. Well I mean that's the thing, you say he learned it from Scientology, I don't think he did because Scientology and Synanon ran parallel to each other.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah. Maybe it's because he was an executive already, he was working for a big corporation and then he just understood like oh I just use that structure.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, I think he's just smart. A good idea is a good idea, you know what I mean?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Now partly Synanon had gotten so cash rich because it had opened its ranks to non addicts in the late 60s because Dederich figured that anyone could benefit from the game and non addicts, they got a lot more money than drug addicts.

BEN KISSEL

You got one foot shorter than the other, you got one leg shorter than the other.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

We're gonna have to tug on that leg. Allegorically.

BEN KISSEL

I just feel like if you don't have a problem, why would you go to this?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Well it's because again, we're going to get into it, it's about building an understanding community.

BEN KISSEL

Okay.

MARCUS PARKS

Well these non addict Synanon members were called squares and once they joined, Chuck Dederich realized that people shouldn't quote unquote "graduate" from Synanon anymore. It used to be you could graduate from Synanon. Go form your own, be a seed in the world.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It was supposed to correct you and help you and then release you.

BEN KISSEL

Right.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But then he realized, what was the quote? He realized you can't graduate a religion.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah but he's not quite to that point yet.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

We'll get there.

BEN KISSEL

That's the beginning of a cult.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. Well he realizes at this point that Synanon can become a lifelong commitment. Why let people go?

BEN KISSEL

Yeah. This is like what happens when they allow you to graduate with a master's in sociology and you're only profession is being a teacher.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's hard.

MARCUS PARKS

Now predictably once Synanon became a long term thing and more people with money joined, Chuck Dederich began building compounds.

BEN KISSEL

Uh oh.

MARCUS PARKS

And by 1971, and this is what I'm talking about, the largest cult you've never heard of, almost 2000 people lived in Synanon facilities mostly here in California.

BEN KISSEL

Wow.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, it was big.

BEN KISSEL

Good thing Janet Reno wasn't around then. She would have had a field day killing all of them.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Well consequently, Chuck Dederich and Synanon became more controlling and militant in the late 60s and early 70s. In 1971 for example, Dederich tried putting some uppity dope fiends in their place with an act that was later called the dirty double dozen.

BEN KISSEL

Oh baby! I've seen that.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He's really good with the names.

BEN KISSEL

Dirty double dozen.

MARCUS PARKS

Oh man, that sounds like a great donut shop in Portland.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh all I heard was bukkake.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, a little bukkake there.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's all I saw in my head was bukkake.

MARCUS PARKS

I just thought of really unhealthy donuts. Like really good donuts.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's the difference between us. I gotta take a break.

BEN KISSEL

I can see that being a special every Thursday at Burger King, the dirty double dozen.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, I could see that.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. So burgers, donuts, come.

BEN KISSEL

That's another show.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yep, that's it. That's the show.

BEN KISSEL

That nails it.

MARCUS PARKS

Well after ordering 22 dope fiend old timers and two young squares onto a Synanon bus they dubbed the Syna-Cruiser-

BEN KISSEL

That's cool honestly. That's actually cool.

MARCUS PARKS

It was a Greyhound bus they bought. Like that's the Syna-Cruiser.

BEN KISSEL

It's sweet though.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Paul Morantz also hits it a lot with the term jitney.

MARCUS PARKS

Jitney?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He kept calling it a jitney.

BEN KISSEL

Okay.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And then actually Chuck Dederich went as far as to say that the bus, the Syna-Cruiser, was the second most important element of Synanon other than him. He loved his bus.

BEN KISSEL

Wow. So L. Ron Hubbard had the seacraft.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He had the boat.

BEN KISSEL

The boat. And he's got the Syna-Cruiser.

MARCUS PARKS

He's got the Syna-Cruiser.

BEN KISSEL

Okay.

MARCUS PARKS

But the Syna-Cruiser is very necessary.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Because their two biggest compounds are in Santa Monica and in Marin County like right north from San Francisco.

BEN KISSEL

It's pretty far away.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

So they're about 400 miles apart from each other.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, it's a 5.5 hour drive.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You put them on the bus, zip, zip, zip. Back and forth.

BEN KISSEL

Oh man, being on a bus with a bunch of people who are recovering drug addicts. I mean it is just a Greyhound.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You're singing songs.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. But that's the thing is that they actually, no, total silence on this trip.

BEN KISSEL

Whoa.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Whoa.

BEN KISSEL

God, what a nightmare.

MARCUS PARKS

Total silence from Santa Monica to Marin County.

BEN KISSEL

Actually maybe that's best now that I think about it. If I was a passenger maybe silence is best.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Well mandatory silence is definitely better than mandatory singing.

BEN KISSEL

Yes, yes.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That is for certain.

BEN KISSEL

I agree.

MARCUS PARKS

Well the double dozen, once they arrived they had all their possessions taken away and they were then verbally attacked in a special game featuring Dederich, his wife Betty, the one that's played by Eartha Kitt, there was also the senate on director of the board, and an attorney square. And amongst the indictments were skimming community supplies and smoking which were two things that were newly banned in Synanon. Because it used to be smoking was almost mandatory. They sent actually spent something like $70,000 a year on cigarettes.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah man, this was back when cigarettes were good for your teeth.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, this is back when cigarettes were like a dime a pack and they're still spending like 60 grand a year on smokes.

BEN KISSEL

You can't pull the rug out like that though.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

You gotta wean them off the cigarettes.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It was all because Chuck Dederich had just stopped smoking cigarettes which becomes a theme. Every single time he decides he wants to do something, the whole group either says oh that's a great idea or Chuck Diederich has sort of hinted this would be a great idea for you all to say that this is a great idea.

BEN KISSEL

Oh that sucks.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. And then it becomes a law.

BEN KISSEL

I see.

MARCUS PARKS

In addition, the double dozen was also accused of not playing the game enough which is basically you're not as invested in the cult as you need to be and also impregnating two other residents. That one is kind of serious.

BEN KISSEL

You're not supposed to do that.

MARCUS PARKS

You're not supposed to do that.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No. This is also a weird strain.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. And so after over 100 confessions were made during dozens of games, the dirty double dozen were made to shave their heads as contrition.

BEN KISSEL

Uh oh.

MARCUS PARKS

As was the Synanon custom.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yes.

BEN KISSEL

Why is that? When it comes to a certain religious beliefs, the hair is so important. I mean obviously you go to prison the first thing they do is shave that dome off, military-

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's to dehumanize you.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

It really does change you, doesn't it? The hair.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It does. Look at the same thing we talked about with Heaven's Gate, that we joke about the haircuts and stuff on that episode.

BEN KISSEL

It's really important.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But again it's about creating a unified identity so that everybody looks exactly the same.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And at the very beginning of that, I listened to the first couple of episodes of the show about Synanon, I think it was called the Sunshine Place or whatever, because it was from two kids that were raised in it and one of them was saying it is just wild to see, once you get your head shaved and you're like oh I don't look like me anymore.

BEN KISSEL

Right.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

And that's why Ben Kissel's cult, bush hair-

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

A big old bush.

BEN KISSEL

It's got very specific rules and standards for your bush hair.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes because then you go around with a ruler to measure the level of bush hair, being like you need to actually be taking more keratin, this mound could be an inch higher.

MARCUS PARKS

Well that's the thing, everyone's got different curlies and everyone's got different thickness in their curlies.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Technically I have a lot of bush hair but it's almost translucent.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. And that's the thing, I got a lot-

BEN KISSEL

We have similar bush hairs.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah but I got really thick, I got bush hair like a fucking thorn bush.

BEN KISSEL

yeah. Well that's a lot.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I'm just glad Fernando's here in the room and that he knows.

BEN KISSEL

He knows, he knows.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's good for the company.

BEN KISSEL

Absolutely.

MARCUS PARKS

But while the act of shaving one's head started off as contrition, everyone was eventually contrite so often that almost all Synanon members just kept their head shaved. In fact so many people in Synanon had shaved heads that George Lucas used a Synanon chapter as bald futuristic dystopian extras in his first movie THX 1138.

BEN KISSEL

You know things are going wrong when you're just cast as a dystopian nightmare race.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

So fun. So you guys are all a bunch of slaves to a godhead, right? Great, perfect, stand over here.

BEN KISSEL

No makeup needed today.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Perfect.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

At one point Synanon did dip their toe into the troubled teen industry. But once they did so it was the beginning of the end of the good times for the soon to be cult.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That fast.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. See during the 60s and 70s, Synanon coordinated with the San Francisco and Oakland Police Departments to see if they could adapt the game to help juvenile offenders. This had come about because Synanon had previously hosted games between police and felons in order to improve relations between them. And at one point they had put on a very tense game between Oakland police and the local chapter of the Black Panthers.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Ooh man.

BEN KISSEL

That must have been really fun. That must've been a great game of laser tag.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

The energy in that room must have just been out of control.

BEN KISSEL

Wow. What a game of dodgeball.

MARCUS PARKS

But since it seems like those games yielded positive results, Synanon took 49 adult criminals in an experiment that was overseen by California State University and they began gaming them. Surprisingly the program led to positive successes for 38 out of those 49 people.

BEN KISSEL

Okay.

MARCUS PARKS

So they figured if it worked for adults, it must work for kids.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

So a Synanon supporter named Donald Cressey who was actually a sociologist and a criminologist, he worked with Synanon on what they called the punk squad.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

This is just again, because adults can understand that you're making fun of me and I'm like owning it, right?

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You can call an adult a dope fiend and they can understand the vague sense of irony that's kind of attached to it.

MARCUS PARKS

Okay, you got me.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah. But kids don't. On some level it's very difficult. I mean yeah, they do. But it gets in there, it fucks with a bunch of-

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Call them a bunch of punks and that's what you do where yeah, you're some troubled kid, we're gonna fucking straighten you out and shit. I feel like maybe I'm wrong but it seems that kids don't really respond to that as well.

MARCUS PARKS

They don't.

BEN KISSEL

Most don't. I certainly didn't, that's for sure.

MARCUS PARKS

No, they internalize it and it becomes trauma and they become what you tell them they are.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I think so.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, I used to get called a really cool kid.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's why look at him, man.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's why he rolled up here on a motorcycle. But what's weird is the engine wasn't going. And I was like how'd you do that?

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, I walked it with my feet.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You just walked it with your feet. I was like how economical.

BEN KISSEL

Cool kid.

MARCUS PARKS

Now in complete contradiction to everything Synanon previously believed, none of the kids in the punk squad were in the program voluntarily which was a key component for the game to work. You gotta wanna be.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, otherwise you just got fucking forced into a room where everyone screams horrible things at you.

MARCUS PARKS

Exactly. And additionally the punk squad used physical force for the first time in Synanon's history because Synanon leaders decided that punks needed to be pushed to the ground by the chest when necessary if they didn't listen or participate.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And again they're kids.

BEN KISSEL

Well it seems like we are escalating quickly here.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Very quickly. and these kids are not there on their own will, right. So they are prisoners there in a way.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And so yeah, they're not really responding to the game the way you want them to.

BEN KISSEL

Right.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

So instead of you just kind of understanding and leaving room for that, yes, they just started like mushing their faces into the ground.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. They're juvenile delinquents.

BEN KISSEL

Right.

MARCUS PARKS

They don't wanna do your stupid little fucking game.

BEN KISSEL

Also they are probably right. This is the 60s and 70s, they're just like-

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Sometimes they're seeing through the shit, just being like y'all know that this is bad, right? Y'all know that this is gonna go south.

BEN KISSEL

You don't wanna go fight the Vietcong in the name of democracy?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

You don't wanna do that?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's like no, dude, I don't.

BEN KISSEL

Shit, you're a punk.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It really feels like I should just stay home.

BEN KISSEL

You're a punk.

MARCUS PARKS

Well treated as second class citizens within the already rigid Synanon hierarchy, punks had to sit in the back of the bus, hold doors open for non punks, address every non punk as sir or ma'am, they had to wake up at 4AM every day, and they were required to smile at all times.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I need you to do a little rigaloo. Rigaloo? Ramading?

MARCUS PARKS

Ramadula!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Ramadula.

BEN KISSEL

The forced to smile thing is so nefarious to me.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh it is.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

It's so gross.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah because it is literally trying to control the inner life of any one human being.

BEN KISSEL

And I would have said that they weren't smiling then some jackass would be be like where's your smile?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, you get called out.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. Screaming at you and you'd probably get pushed to the ground if you refused to smile.

BEN KISSEL

Right.

MARCUS PARKS

One punk who was only 9 when he was put through the program-

BEN KISSEL

9?!

MARCUS PARKS

9 years old. He said that he was forced to run two miles as a punishment but ran out of breath less than a quarter of the way in. By his memory he was shouted at, punched, and kicked in the butt by a punk squad coordinator.

BEN KISSEL

Jesus.

MARCUS PARKS

They called the coordinators, they called them ramrods.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, the ramrods.

BEN KISSEL

Well that is not even a euphemism.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Again, it's all these weird names.

BEN KISSEL

That is a horrible... Ramrod?

MARCUS PARKS

Ramrod, yeah. And of course as soon as corporal punishment and physical intimidation was used on the punk squad with the kids, it slowly seeped into the rest of the community. It was a slippery slope.

BEN KISSEL

Uh oh.

MARCUS PARKS

And that's where things started going very wrong for Synanon.

BEN KISSEL

It's like a multilevel marketing scheme but just with violence.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Just with violence.

MARCUS PARKS

Now once Synanon began admitting so-called squares into the program, things became more cult-like and the adult members of Synanon began subjecting their children, sometimes as young as 3 years old, to the game.

BEN KISSEL

What?

MARCUS PARKS

Now in the early days-

BEN KISSEL

What the... Wait, hold on a second. What the fuck could a three year old be accused of?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I don't know.

BEN KISSEL

Literally what does a 3 year old do that's purposely wrong?

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's really difficult to kind of... It's weird because in some ways they treated kids like... We talked about this in the last episode but something about them not being people.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Right? like they're these little robots, they're these things that we can just make them and break them and we do whatever it is that we want with them and that a 3 year old... Just leaving no room for the fact that these brains develop.

BEN KISSEL

Right.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And that they are changing and then the sea of hormones, all these bodies, things are happening. You're 3, you just started. It's very difficult to have a lot of baggage at 3.

BEN KISSEL

Right.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And if you do, a lot of times it's because you've already been a soldier for two years like in some other country, right?

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Which is very difficult to find helmets that small.

BEN KISSEL

Absolutely. Oh I've seen baby soldiers, yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Now in the early days of the squares, the early 70s, children of Synanon members reported more or less positive experiences with the game when it was complicated basically and you took your time with it. But in later years when things got a little looser, children found it traumatizing and this was the game being led by fucking experts. When interviewed as adults, many of these people said that children were nowhere near the appropriate level of maturity for the game and most of them incurred emotional damage because they couldn't play it correctly. It's like asking a 10 year old who usually only plays Fortnite to beat Dark Souls and when they can't do it, you call him a dirty cocksucker.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Actually I think in that way you might be right. I think that it's because you should force the child to understand that video games are important and that they need to get their shit together, all right.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Because now videogames are money. You can be a professional video game player.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. That is true.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

So you sit there and one day you sit there, we'll have our adopted children and you'll look down at them and you'll force them to run Dark Souls again and again and again.

MARCUS PARKS

Over and over and over.

BEN KISSEL

Do a speedrun, yeah. That's a good idea.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Being like we'll get you good at this.

MARCUS PARKS

Don't tell them that you just run past the Asylum Demon the first time, don't tell them that.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No.

MARCUS PARKS

See if that little fucker can beat the Asylum Demon with a broken sword.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Fuck that little fucking piece of shit.

MARCUS PARKS

Fuck him.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Fuck him!

MARCUS PARKS

Fuck him!

BEN KISSEL

These games are too hard these days. I'm trying to play Callisto Protocol, man. I'm playing it on minimum security and I can't play it and I'm done now.

MARCUS PARKS

You want too hard, go back and try to play some Mega Man. Then you'll see some fucking hard.

BEN KISSEL

I don't wanna play fucking Mega Man. Also isn't he a woman? Which one's the woman?

MARCUS PARKS

No, Metroid. You're thinking of Samus Aran, Metroid.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Metroid.

MARCUS PARKS

It's Metroid.

BEN KISSEL

Okay.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Kids need to be reading the damn encyclopedia.

MARCUS PARKS

Well speaking of kids, Synanon also had a fair amount of child abuse accusations. Not sexual but physical.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, it seems like it.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. It's like when a 15 year old runaway said in court that she had been forced to clean up pig manure with carrot sticks as a disciplinary measure.

BEN KISSEL

Okay, yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I mean we're gonna be eating that in 2030.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, that's gonna be a luxury. Ooh pig manure with carrot sticks. What kind of hummus is this?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Animal matter? This is incredible.

BEN KISSEL

Wow.

MARCUS PARKS

Now as far as the game itself went, it too took on a different structure in the 70s. Where before anyone could say anything in the game and not be punished, that was sort of the point of it, you could not be disciplined for what you said in the game.

BEN KISSEL

Well why would you tell the truth, then?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

The whole point is again it's starting to create this system, it's eat your own tail system where no matter what you're guilty and you're guilty and you're guilty.

BEN KISSEL

Right.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And so you're forced to be like no, you haven't changed yet. You're not done yet, you're not done.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. And because you could be disciplined outside of the game for things that you said in the game, players stopped being honest.

BEN KISSEL

Of course.

MARCUS PARKS

And the therapeutic benefits of the game were completely lost.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

The whole thing fell apart from here. And Chuck Dederich also began recording game sessions and Synanon meetings-

BEN KISSEL

Uh oh.

MARCUS PARKS

With the supposed idea that it would make everything open to everyone. But in reality it gave Chuck Dederich the ability to keep tabs on what everyone was saying and doing.

BEN KISSEL

Right.

MARCUS PARKS

And it was a further bad idea because those game sessions and meetings would later be used in court in various attempted murder trials.

BEN KISSEL

Oh it's like he's collecting evidence.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Well he did it accidentally at first and then realized that he can use it against everyone as another way to keep everybody in.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Leverage.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Kompromat.

MARCUS PARKS

But it was also nearly impossible to understand the context of everything being said in those recorded games because the game itself had become so Byzantine and varied. It had become both more complicated and simplified at the same time because there were different kinds of games that everyone would play.

BEN KISSEL

Seems like everyone just made it up themselves which makes it extremely complicated.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes. Again, everybody's running train on it. I'm sorry I was just thinking about the story of the one cop that was blowing all the dude. The cop that was fucking all the other cops inside of the station while on duty.

MARCUS PARKS

The cop blow bank.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

You know about this, Ben, right?

BEN KISSEL

I don't.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Have you heard about this? Have you seen this?

MARCUS PARKS

Have you seen this? Have you heard about this?

BEN KISSEL

This is one of the stories that must have fallen through my purview this week. Thank you.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I'll send it to you later.

MARCUS PARKS

You'll like it.

BEN KISSEL

I'll love it.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, it's cop blow bank.

BEN KISSEL

I don't know how I missed it. That's all I do all day.

MARCUS PARKS

Now Synanon basically had four stages of development. The first and second stage from 1958- 1968, that was focused on the voluntary rehabilitation of alcoholics and drug addicts.

BEN KISSEL

Okay.

MARCUS PARKS

It was there solely as a therapeutic community that made a little bit of money.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He made money.

MARCUS PARKS

Just a little bit of money.

BEN KISSEL

Well you need a little cash to keep it going, yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

We're sitting here, we're creating here a proprietary system. Okay? A little bit of a proprietary system. Okay? You gonna be mad at me? You trying to come here, tell me this proprietary system isn't worth money?

BEN KISSEL

I'm fine with it, it was well worth it, I got better, okay.

MARCUS PARKS

The third stage that lasted from 1969-1975, that was focused on building a social movement to create a utopian society.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Utopian society!

BEN KISSEL

That's gonna be great. That's gonna totally work out.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. And that's in a time when many hucksters were trying to do the same. This is when they expanded it out to the squares and hen they expanded out to the squares, it made a little bit more money.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You mean to tell me you're gonna be mad at me because I'm bringing a bunch of extra people, yes, to my proprietary system? Yes, maybe I make a little money. You're gonna be mad at me?

BEN KISSEL

Make a little money.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's my business man persona inside of me. You're gonna me mad? I gotta do certain things, I gotta make some choices because we're looking at financial stability here.

BEN KISSEL

That's all you gotta do. Yeah, that's it.

MARCUS PARKS

But the fourth stage that began in 1975 and lasted until Synanon disintegrated in the late 80s, that was when they got greedy and began to self identify as a religion.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

That eventually became a full scale charismatic dictatorship run by Chuck Dederich.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Hey man, because he realized hey, if we center it, they did it, they came to the L. Ron idea all the way the backwards way.

BEN KISSEL

So the savior of the world is a dude named Chuck.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah, buddy.

BEN KISSEL

Oh god.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Well Chuck, he doesn't need a whole head.

BEN KISSEL

Okay.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He's got your number, dude.

BEN KISSEL

He's a half-headed dude named Chuck.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. But that's actually the thing about it is that it's a religion, not a religion.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

To the IRS it is very much a religion.

BEN KISSEL

I see.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

But within Synanon, because that was their kind of joke. It's like well who's god then? I don't know.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Must be Chuck. Yeah, they did make that.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah but then it does become, Chuck becomes like god-like but not god god, he's-

BEN KISSEL

God-esque.

MARCUS PARKS

God-esque. Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

God-ish.

MARCUS PARKS

Demigod.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He's like when you go to see a mall Santa.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah. Santa lite.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Right? That's not the main Santa.

MARCUS PARKS

No.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I'm just one of Santa's helpers, god's helpers.

BEN KISSEL

It's like that representative, the guy George Santos who lied about his entire life who's currently in office and hopefully not for much longer. He claimed that he was Jewish.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

And then he said no, no, no, I said I was Jew-ish.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Ish!

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, he watches Woody Allen movies.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That just sounds like a review in a theater in the Upper West Side.

BEN KISSEL

Jew-ish.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Jew-ish. Yeah. Does he look like a man that used to be a haunted clock? He looks like he was magically changed from being a fat little table clock to being a guy.

BEN KISSEL

I agree, there's something wrong with him, that's for sure.

MARCUS PARKS

There really is. But once the dictatorship came in Synanon, so too did the violence and sexual weirdness that seems to be a specifically Californian cult phenomenon.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's the sunshine.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, is that right?

MARCUS PARKS

It's always with the sex and violence out here.

BEN KISSEL

I mean every time I see a mountain I do see titties.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

That's my problem.

MARCUS PARKS

The Sierra Nevadas.

BEN KISSEL

Look at the butt on that California.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Kissel out in the middle of the brush just holding onto the side of a mountain, likcing, being like gimme me the milk, come on, gimme the milk.

MARCUS PARKS

Okay, the sex I get, the landscape makes you horny. But what about the violence?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I think he's just lonely.

BEN KISSEL

No, not the violence. I'm good on violence. I don't have any.

MARCUS PARKS

Okay.

BEN KISSEL

I don't see any violence.

MARCUS PARKS

No.

BEN KISSEL

Where's the violence?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Where is the violence? Honestly-

MARCUS PARKS

I'm just saying that Californian cults are among the most violent.

BEN KISSEL

Oh when it comes to that, yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's our brand.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. Okay, you're saying that the sex comes from the landscape being horny.

BEN KISSEL

It's a horny landscape.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It is. And the violence comes from TV, which we also make, which also California makes.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, it comes back around. I see what you mean.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Absolutely.

MARCUS PARKS

Now Synanon made a very concerted effort to become a religion and they did so for practical reasons, namely the federal government recognized them as a religion in 1974, no taxes.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Listen guys, and I'm saying this to our listeners right now, you look at me, look at me dead in the eyes and you know for a fact that I'm good for it. Right? If we start this, if you do happen to see a thing where they say Last Podcast Network's a religion, right, I'mma need all y'all to just roll with it, all right.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Mark the box that says yes.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Just roll with it. Cause no, listen, we're gonna give kickbacks to you. Cause guess what I get to do for you? When we're a religion guess what you get to be? Forgiven for free. Done.

BEN KISSEL

Wow!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You get to be done.

BEN KISSEL

Free forgiveness!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

As soon as we go, just listen.

BEN KISSEL

Wow.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You're cool with me. Whatever you've done, I mean certain things I won't, I can't.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Can't forgive everything. You're not an all forgiving god.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You know what's on you? Don't tell me about those.

BEN KISSEL

Boom.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Tell me only the things you want, I forgive you, you're done. It'll be completed, you're fixed.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Perfect.

BEN KISSEL

Too on the nose. Too on the nose.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

What do you mean?

BEN KISSEL

Well you just said that publicly.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

BEN KISSEL

Now I think the government's gonna be like oh they're scamming us.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No, no, no, no, no. You gotta understand that this is a part of my awakening period.

BEN KISSEL

The great awakening.

MARCUS PARKS

I see.

BEN KISSEL

Oh this is gonna go great.

MARCUS PARKS

Well additionally being a religion, that meant that they didn't have to be licensed.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Isn't that cool? Less regulations.

BEN KISSEL

Nice!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No taxes, even faker bosses, right.

BEN KISSEL

Wow.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Because you went from just being like there is no god to Chuck's god.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's just like wow! You get nothing but benefits.

BEN KISSEL

I love the government recognizes magic as a reason not to pay taxes. That's fantastic.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Broken system.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

But perhaps most importantly, being a religion meant that Synanon was forever. It would eliminate questions like when does a person graduate from Synanon because nobody graduates a religion. When do you graduate Catholicism?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

The pope.

BEN KISSEL

When you say fuck you, dude.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You become the pope, you finally did it.

BEN KISSEL

You're done.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. I guess you technically do graduate buddhism eventually when you leave the wheel of karma. That is great. You do graduate buddhism.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But does anybody? Has anybody? I want to see some proof.

BEN KISSEL

I don't know.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Okay, show me proof of your enlightenment, all right. Send me a postcard from the netherworld.

BEN KISSEL

They wouldn't have to do that because they're enlightened and they don't care if you agree or not.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I know, that's what's maddening about buddhism.

BEN KISSEL

Yes.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Because they'll be like oh I know you don't care but you do care, you're wearing an outfit, just handed me the gold card and you're making me give you 10 bucks.

BEN KISSEL

I don't know. Either way-

MARCUS PARKS

That's not buddhism, I think you're thinking of Moonies.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No, is that Moonies?

MARCUS PARKS

I think that's Moonies.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

When the thing where they hand you the card for good luck and then when you go to take it they pull it back and they're like give me money?

BEN KISSEL

We're just gonna say that whatever you're saying is wrong. We're just gonna cover that base. I don't know what base we're covering.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

The audience will know.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. We're here together, me and you.

BEN KISSEL

Yes.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

When does my I'm sorry for everything run out?

BEN KISSEL

No, it never runs out.

MARCUS PARKS

No, it never runs out.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I said I'm sorry for everything, I don't have to renew that, right?

BEN KISSEL

You do.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

You have to. Yes, it's fine. You just did.

MARCUS PARKS

Think about it like every six months. Like you know when you have a medication that you have to be on forever and like once a month they have to like-

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Reevaluate?

BEN KISSEL

Reevaluate.

MARCUS PARKS

Your doctor has to reevaluate. Yeah. So like once a year, yes, you do. You can get it done for the whole year right now if you want.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I'm sorry for everything.

BEN KISSEL

That's a whole year.

MARCUS PARKS

All right, see you in 2024.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

All right, great.

BEN KISSEL

Boom.

MARCUS PARKS

It is 2023, right?

BEN KISSEL

It is.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Sure.

MARCUS PARKS

Okay, cool. And well around the time that Synanon started calling themselves a religion, shit started getting weird as it always does. Two years after they got their tax exempt status, Synanon instituted a policy that members would no longer have children because the world is overpopulated.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Now no children wasn't a hard rule but women were coerced into having abortions more than a couple of times. But eventually Synanon put the onus of no kids onto the men.

BEN KISSEL

Snip it up.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Which actually I find weirdly refreshing.

MARCUS PARKS

It is refreshing. It's about time.

BEN KISSEL

It's a great way to get to come on titties, faces, butts, toes.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come everywhere else.

BEN KISSEL

Everywhere else.

MARCUS PARKS

Everywhere else, yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But I mean it got rough.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. Because in 1977 Synanon required that all members over the age of 18 who had been in Synanon for over 5 years, everyone's got to get vasectomies.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's a vasectomy! You get a vasectomy, you get a vasectomy.

BEN KISSEL

Whoa. Fantastic.

MARCUS PARKS

Wow!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah. It's like being on Oprah.

BEN KISSEL

It's reversible.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. And these vasectomies were performed collectively at so-called clipping parties.

BEN KISSEL

I'm gonna need a doctor.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, yeah. Can't just be some guy.

BEN KISSEL

I don't want...

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, yeah. Over 250 men participated in these clipping parties.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And a lot of people immediately ask what do you bring to a clipping party if you go to one? And I'll tell you what, you bring ice.

MARCUS PARKS

Ice.

BEN KISSEL

Oh no. Yeah. And sadly you can't bring booze.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

All of this, all sober.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

If an when I go and get mine, because I might do that, you can't show up drunk, right? Like do they numb it?

MARCUS PARKS

For a vasectomy?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Well you don't want the blood-

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I can't do one final like all right! And come out, like do one big come out?

MARCUS PARKS

You still come.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah I know.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, you still come with a vasectomy, there's just no semen in it.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But come with living squids, right.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, no.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Come a couple living squids where they're like Gram Parsons when he partied really hard before he died.

BEN KISSEL

You can do that. I think you'll die though cause it thins your blood.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

You don't wanna be super hammered during surgery.

MARCUS PARKS

No.

BEN KISSEL

Just in general.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Cool.

MARCUS PARKS

No, not super hammered.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I'm glad Kissel told me.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Absolutely.

MARCUS PARKS

Now this naturally led to a mass exodus of members, not everyone wanted to get clipped.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, I could see that.

MARCUS PARKS

One member said quote:

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

"Hey, I'll give you my life, Chuck. But not my balls."

BEN KISSEL

That's how much men love their balls.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah dude, seriously.

BEN KISSEL

I will die but if you touch my nuts...

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, like that's my come. Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

But things got weird again in April of 1977 when Chuck Dederich's wife Betty died of lung cancer at the age of 55.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

One day we'll do an Oscar style memoriam to all of the wives of cult leaders that died that allowed the cult then spin wildly out of control.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It has happened time and time again.

MARCUS PARKS

Yup.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

They always have some form of stabilizing influence that vaguely keeps him in pocket for a certain period of time and then as soon as that's gone it's just like, all right, fucking finally, the mice can play.

BEN KISSEL

Well look what happened with George Lucas. If he would've stayed married, we never would have had Jar Jar Binks.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

His wife created Star Wars.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Well yeah, she did the edits and all of the stuff on the scripts.

BEN KISSEL

And all the things that mattered.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Because when you watch the ones that didn't have her editing, you're like why is that there?

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's very interesting.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. She said give the Wookie hair, don't make the Wookie a space owl.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Man, he's stupid. Man, George Lucas was... God, it just shows all you gotta do is be accidentally right once.

BEN KISSEL

Kind of.

MARCUS PARKS

Once, yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's it.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's what Warren Buffet says about billionaires, he was like you only gotta make three good decisions a year. And it's like what does that mean?

BEN KISSEL

He drinks Coca-Cola just like us.

MARCUS PARKS

Wow.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I don't think he does! I think it's all a lie.

BEN KISSEL

No, he drinks Coca-Cola just like us.

MARCUS PARKS

He lives in a house, it's just a house.

BEN KISSEL

Just like us.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I don't understand.

MARCUS PARKS

Now so respected was Synanon that the mayor of Los Angeles proclaimed a Betty Dederich day to recognize her work in drug rehabilitation when she died.

BEN KISSEL

Wow.

MARCUS PARKS

And condolences were sent by Jimmy and Rosalynn Carter who just can't catch a break when it comes to their associations.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah man.

BEN KISSEL

Jimmy just, he had faith in everybody.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Too friendly.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah. Rosalynn between John Wayne Gacy and-

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Jim Jones.

BEN KISSEL

Jim Jones and the leader of Synanon. Maybe she wasn't the best judge of character.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You know what? I'm just gonna blame, and I don't mean this, it seems like the Carter whole administration, a lot of weird shit happened during that time period.

MARCUS PARKS

There was. The late 70s were an odd time to be an American.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It feels kind of similar now.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, yeah. It actually does.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

In a way.

MARCUS PARKS

Odd. Do you feel the malaise?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I do!

MARCUS PARKS

Don't you feel the malaise?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I do!

BEN KISSEL

I don't feel malaise.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

We have a skeleton president.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

People are scary.

BEN KISSEL

But Jimmy Carter was young then. Ish.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, ish.

MARCUS PARKS

But he was still kind of a skeleton peanut man.

BEN KISSEL

No.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's the thing.

BEN KISSEL

He had a full head of hair.

MARCUS PARKS

But he was still skeleton-ish.

BEN KISSEL

He was just in shape.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. But you guys call me skeleton. You guys have called me a skeleton since I was fucking 32.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You also like bones more than us.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, it's more of a bone thing.

MARCUS PARKS

Oh, is it more of a bone thing?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

I always thought it was-

BEN KISSEL

Because you saw bones. Our first gift to Patreon was you sawing bones.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Henry and I didn't be like give them bones. You were like I got a great idea!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I got all these bones!

BEN KISSEL

I'll saw all these bones. And then you would complain about how it was getting in your lungs. And we'd be like stop sawing the bones! You'd be like I gotta saw the bones, they're gonna stop listening if they don't get the bones. And I think it was illegal as well to send it through the mail but...

MARCUS PARKS

Well where I was doing it was also illegal.

BEN KISSEL

No, that helped the ambiance.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Don't worry, all you had to do was pay off the health inspector. Isn't that nice that you just say out loud?

BEN KISSEL

Well it's no longer in business.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. But hasn't nothing felt right since about 2015 or so?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Things have been weird, yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Things have been real odd since 2015.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, man.

MARCUS PARKS

January 2016, that's about right before Bowie died.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah. A lot of people blame him, yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. Things have been real weird since then.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah.

BEN KISSEL

I'm just kinda used to it now I guess.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It is now normal technically because it's been 7 years.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, RIP Bowie. We just passed the anniversary of his death just a couple of days ago.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Jesus Christ.

BEN KISSEL

Ziggy Stardust.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah. Well you're gonna live longer than that because next week you're 40.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah!

BEN KISSEL

No, Bowie was like in his 70s.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, I'm saying. But longer in January.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

He's trying to be encouraging.

BEN KISSEL

Oh.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. As for Chuck though, his wife Betty, much like Marshall Applewhite's partner Bonnie Nettles, she was the one who kept him from doing anything too crazy or too sexual, although she was on board with the vasectomies.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Every woman is.

BEN KISSEL

She just wanted not to get pregnant from fucking all the cult members.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. But after Betty died, both the violence and the weirdness at Synanon escalated once again. At the age of 64, two months after Betty's death, Dederich decided to remarry. He told reporters quote, and this is a direct quote:

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

"I sent up a flare like any monarch of old times would have done. I let out the word that I was available."

BEN KISSEL

Monarch.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Now all the girls came looking to see what was underneath the belly and guess what they found? A tiny little set of dick and balls.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, tiny little dick and balls.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

About four feet above that was the smartest half head that woman ever met in her damn life.

BEN KISSEL

Well indeed. So you think you're a king? Kind of a monarch then?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Who are you a king of?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I'm a king of this belt.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Come kiss the belt.

BEN KISSEL

All right, I'll kiss the belt.

MARCUS PARKS

King of this belt. I like that.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

King of this damn belt! That's how I feel about all my clothes.

BEN KISSEL

I think out of all the cult leaders, Jim Jones would have... No, Charles Manson would have the best belt buckle. I can see Charles Manson-

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He was mostly belt buckle when he was wearing one.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, I can see him having a belt. Just one day being like hey man, look at my belt buckle. I can see that.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

But that's the thing is that I think it's that thing, you know how most pornstars are tiny and that's why the dicks look so big?

BEN KISSEL

Yes exactly.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's why.

MARCUS PARKS

It would be like Charles Manson because he's so tiny the belt buckle is gonna look a lot bigger.

BEN KISSEL

Optics.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Optics are everything.

BEN KISSEL

Optics are everything, absolutely.

MARCUS PARKS

Well six women applied to become Dederich's wife.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Wow.

MARCUS PARKS

Applied. But Chuck eventually settled on a 31 year old teacher at one of Synanon's schools, a woman named Ginny Shoren. Pretty soon after they got married though, Dederich declared that marriage should no longer be a permanent institution amongst Synanon members.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, dog.

BEN KISSEL

Whoa!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He is the monarch of that belt, dude.

BEN KISSEL

Wow.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Because he understood, he got married and he's like there's this thing about getting married is that they call it an institution for a reason. So I say we let them out, let out the patients.

BEN KISSEL

Institutions have doors I suppose.

MARCUS PARKS

He told every married couple that they had to split up.

BEN KISSEL

What?

MARCUS PARKS

And form new three year long love matches with new partners plucked from the Synanon membership pool.

BEN KISSEL

So he's going fucking full crazy.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's really interesting. Again, it's just every one, without even knowing that all these guys, other cult leaders do this where they all have the same revelatory like we need to fuck each other's wives.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, why? Why?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Actually it's more that I need to fuck all your wives.

BEN KISSEL

Right.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

At least he spread the love.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

I don't know.

MARCUS PARKS

Now many of these couples had gotten married within Synanon in mass marriage ceremonies.

BEN KISSEL

How romantic.

MARCUS PARKS

Yes. And they'd actually committed themselves not only to each other but to Synanon itself in their vows. During these ceremonies men wore overalls and dress shirts while women wore ankle length granny dresses and broad brimmed hats. Actually overalls were sort of the SYnanon uniform because Chuck Dederich, one day he's one of those guys that just decided I just want to wear overalls everyday for the rest of my life.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And that's it.

BEN KISSEL

Sure, he can do that. I'm wearing sweatpants. I don't ask you guys to wear the same. So basically he's like you bitches look like Diane Keaton. Dudes look like someone named Elmer.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Because again, he had a real overalls body.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Now you might decide what is that? If you've seen magazines, a man in overalls a lot of times is really cut and he's about to drop it, he's going to show his hog, right.

BEN KISSEL

Really hunky. With one little suspender down.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But guess what? Most people in overalls look like Porky Pig.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And that's what he looked like.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah because you wear overalls so your pants don't fall down when you farm.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's the idea. You now want a quick axis to shit.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And you're sick of dealing with the hassle of all these tight fitting belts and pants.

BEN KISSEL

Right.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. And also they all got married dressed like that and they got married by a reverend who was riding a Shetland pony.

BEN KISSEL

Why?

MARCUS PARKS

Riding a tiny little pony.

BEN KISSEL

Why?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Because then you have the majesty of a horse without worrying about the emasculating lack of height that you receive standing next to a man on a horse.

BEN KISSEL

Is he the bad guy from Shrek?

MARCUS PARKS

Now since many of these people had been married to and within Synanon, 230 couples agreed to Chuck's switcheroo plan. So 460 legally married people got divorces and hooked up with someone new.

BEN KISSEL

What?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I imagine at some point there's somebody who's just like yes!

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes, this is the excuse I needed. Yes!

MARCUS PARKS

Oh yeah.

BEN KISSEL

I'm sure. But I'm sure there's a lot of people who weren't like that.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Who got excluded, Chuck's brother. He didn't have to do it. Everyone else had to do it but Chuck's brother got an exclusion.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Isn't that weird? He's like I kinda like my wife.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He's like I kinda like her. All right, you fucking dweeb.

BEN KISSEL

All right.

MARCUS PARKS

But since this was another weird ass request, Synanon had another huge drop in membership and they lost 300 members in 1977 alone. They actually lost more people from the marriage thing than they did from the vasectomy thing.

BEN KISSEL

I could see that almost.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. Then right around the same time that shit got weird, shit also started getting violent.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

See a few years before, Synanon had started stockpiling deadly weapons.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

God, it's the stockpiling.

MARCUS PARKS

It's the stockpiling.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

They got 57 shotguns, 24 colt .45s, and 300,000 rounds of ammunition.

BEN KISSEL

Woo!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Now this transition, we're doing a little bit of yada, yada, yadaing.

MARCUS PARKS

Little bit.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Because it's very difficult to put in. There's a lot of complicated shit happened during this time period. But it's just important for you to know that the shift actually did happen fairly quickly.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But the ramp up happened, but it started just compounding. It feel very exponential.

MARCUS PARKS

Oh yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It felt like once one thing started happening, next thing started spilling to the next. And he was ramping up this talking point. Because everyone's living in a commune and so he's talking endlessly all day.

MARCUS PARKS

Multiple communes.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Multiple communes. And they're playing the recordings of his speeches, they're playing this stuff.

MARCUS PARKS

He's got his own radio station that he called it The Wire so that people could listen to it all the time.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes.

BEN KISSEL

That's a good name for a radio station.

MARCUS PARKS

It is, yeah.

BEN KISSEL

W-I-R-E!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He would go to his bedroom and literally start monologuing and the whole place was built for sound. So you're just living in Chuck Dederich's head all day.

BEN KISSEL

Wow.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He learned from Jim Jones in a way. Again, I don't know if he did or if it's just again-

MARCUS PARKS

No, Jim Jones is later.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I feel like in a way he's-

BEN KISSEL

The godfather.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He's the Carlos Mencia and it's Jim Jones is still like the elite, right?

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Why did they feel they need to start stockpiling weapons? Was the government coming after them?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Paranoia.

MARCUS PARKS

It's paranoia, yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Okay.

MARCUS PARKS

And I think it's also just a general being plugged into the decade, man.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Because shit gets real dark starting in the early 70s.

BEN KISSEL

Right.

MARCUS PARKS

They're kind of caught up in this whole utopianism type thing and it's not working out and nothing's working out for anybody.

BEN KISSEL

No, in a utopia you don't need to stockpile weapons.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No, not normally. No.

BEN KISSEL

That's kinda the whole point.

MARCUS PARKS

No. But it's about you gotta defend your utopia.

BEN KISSEL

No, I know. Because it's not utopia.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, it's not. Because a bunch of people are like hey, you might have developed a system of abuse in there.

BEN KISSEL

Right.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And everything I hear coming out of your little group sounds shadier and shadier and shadier.

BEN KISSEL

Utopia.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And he's like no, it's beginning the persecution complex. They're gonna come shut us down because they don't get our lifestyle.

MARCUS PARKS

Well I think it's fairly simple. You know that saying if it smells like shit everywhere you go, check your own shoe? I think Chuck Dederich was such-

BEN KISSEL

Wait a second. What? Oh my god!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Thomas Jefferson said that.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, Thomas Jefferson. I love that.

MARCUS PARKS

If you're the type of person that says that everyone's an asshole-

BEN KISSEL

Everything sucks. Yeah, yeah, of course.

MARCUS PARKS

Everyone sucks, you suck. Why is everybody always mad at me? It must be their fault.

BEN KISSEL

No, you're an asshole, you're insufferable.

MARCUS PARKS

It's like no, you're the asshole.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

And I think that's what happened with Chuck Dederich. Chuck Dederich had a way of antagonizing everybody around him, especially his neighbors.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Well because they said his issue truly was the fact that he forgot, he'd spent so long in these Synanon groups that he forgot that other people don't talk like that.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

They don't curse and scream and yell at people and be a quote unquote "straight shooter". And a lot of times I find that when someone calls themselves a straight shooter, again they mean a fucking insufferable asshole.

MARCUS PARKS

Massive asshole.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And then it's that where it's like always insulting people and talking all this shit. And so his world is really closing in and he's becoming way more isolated.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Okay.

MARCUS PARKS

And because he's becoming so aggressive, everyone around him is becoming so aggressive. He's getting what he's putting out.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah. Hence the guns.

MARCUS PARKS

Exactly. And Chuck Dederich started getting paranoid about the many splitees. That's what he called people who left the program. And that's another thing is that there's these multiple mass exoduses of people and he's thinking like they're all against me.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

There's no other reason why they wouldn't be down for vasectomies or leaving their wife so they can fuck someone random.

BEN KISSEL

Of course.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah and group screaming sessions.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And everybody starting to get physically beaten and moved around and pushed around. Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. Well pretty much anything bad that happened was blamed on splitees. And eventually that paranoia translated to violence. Synanon members began assaulting members of their communities seemingly at random, including a rancher who boarded their land. He sounds like such a sweet man, his name was Alvin Gambonini.

BEN KISSEL

Okay, hold on.

MARCUS PARKS

Alvin.

BEN KISSEL

First of all he does not, he sounds like he's on the lam because there's no... Yeah, name's Tony, no, Alvin Gambonini.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Gamboni-nu?

BEN KISSEL

Nini...

MARCUS PARKS

I can just see like Alvin Gambonini, you like my tomato sauce?

BEN KISSEL

No, he sounds like a man who's murdered.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

(Italian-American accent) I try to bring a fresh ricotta, I try to bring a fresh manicotti.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

(Italian-American accent) And this time you tell me I need to cut my balls?

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

(Italian-American accent) The man, I go up to him, I say oh I got a little prosciutto, and he say why you come, why this still work? And I say I'm a Gambonini!

MARCUS PARKS

No.

BEN KISSEL

Seems like all of your horses don't have heads, Mr. Gambonini. Are you sending those to random beds?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Sometimes a message must be delivered in a simple and direct manner.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

No, he's gonna knock on your door, he's like I got some good mozzarella.

BEN KISSEL

No, he's not. All right. Agree to disagree.

MARCUS PARKS

Alvin Gambonini.

BEN KISSEL

That's not the name of a farmer.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

If you do want to know about the real... This fucking, it's crazy. There's a bunch of fucking shit. Look at the paulmorantz.com and go to the true story of Synanon violence and how it started. The rollup of him, there's a thing called the siege of Tamales.

BEN KISSEL

Geez.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

So one thing we're yada, yada, yadaing is that they moved, right, they moved from Santa Monica and they moved to Riverside. They bought a bunch of complexes, right, they bought a bunch of land.

BEN KISSEL

Okay.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

They went and isolated themselves. These neighboring towns are like who the fuck are these people just rolling in?

MARCUS PARKS

The same thing happened with Jonestown.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, it was a shock to the community I would think.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Or not Jonestown, with Peoples Temple when they moved from Indianapolis to northern California, the Redwoods.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, it started with that, right. Cause he's doing this but the local police department loves him, they're hiring members of Synanon to be deputies and shit. But they literally attacked an entire town because they believed that people were trespassing on their land and on their roads. And he would say hey, we're gonna go out and we're gonna attack these people, anybody tries to fuck with us, we need to go on the offensive and we need to show them that we're actually in control of this entire environment.

BEN KISSEL

Okay.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

So you have a bunch of malnourished, bald headed people in overalls showing up and taking over town squares and shit with broomsticks and shovels. It's really weird.

BEN KISSEL

Just take the statues down, I don't care anymore.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Just look up the siege of Tamales, it's very weird.

BEN KISSEL

Siege of Tamales.

MARCUS PARKS

It's just all very weird. I mean the way one former Synanon member put it is that Synanon wasn't very good at violence.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes.

BEN KISSEL

Sure.

MARCUS PARKS

That they were violent but they weren't very good at it.

BEN KISSEL

I could see that.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

We're just lucky that they were not.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, we are. We're very lucky they weren't. But Synanon was also sometimes the target of violence. Synanon residents said that they were shot at sometimes.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Said. Said.

MARCUS PARKS

They said. Teenagers would try hitting them with their cars.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Again, they said.

BEN KISSEL

I mean that's fun.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes, exactly. They were on the street. But this is their extension out. This is the part of the prosecutorial thing that they said everybody hated us.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And it was like no it's because you showed up and then you would claim back roads for Synanon and do this thing.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Being like no, this is our road now.

BEN KISSEL

Right.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And you'd show up being like no, I've been driving this road for 25 years.

BEN KISSEL

Now you've forced us into conflict and then you're gonna blame me for having to react to you.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes.

MARCUS PARKS

Yes. Exactly. But Synanon members, they began training with guns and batons and eventually they created their own martial art to defend themselves. They called it syn-do.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

I'm gonna shoot myself.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

See what you wanna do is you wanna pin the guy to the table, you wanna get him down into a chair, right.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And the thing is you put that fucking TV on, you give him some pizza, and you make him too lazy to fight you back. And then you take that knife, you stick it inbetween the left ribs and directly into the heart and then he's dead.

BEN KISSEL

Oh wow, the old Jesus death there. What if I just punch you in the head?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You'd have to fucking get the missing half!

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Well from what Dederich said, he was tired of turning the other cheek, tired of the spineless hippie shit, that's how we put it. In one case, Synanon members caught a guy siphoning their gas so they grabbed him, held him down, and shaved off his head and beard.

BEN KISSEL

I do like that people who siphon gas see everything as a cup.

MARCUS PARKS

Again, Synanon doesn't do violence very well.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

To them that's like oh, we're shaving his head, we're shaving his beard.

BEN KISSEL

Oh no, it's a hair for hair match.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It is weird though.

MARCUS PARKS

It's weird. That's the thing, they're not good, they're just weird.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It feels like dream violence.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, it does.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Cause it's a lot of pinning people down. Because again it sounds like there were several lawyers that were in the inner group of Synanon.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That I think were advising them in many ways, kind of in a way of if we do this, this, and this, this is what we get away with, right.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Just pinning somebody to the ground.

BEN KISSEL

Sure. Shaving their head.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Adults pinning another. It's very difficult for people to prosecute these things. It's very difficult to call it assault.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Especially if you're in a town where half the police force is the Synanon members that are pinning the guy down on the ground.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, it seems just juvenile, just juvenile enough.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's weird.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Where they're like all right, move on, we've got bigger crimes to worry about.

MARCUS PARKS

Well Synanon also built its own security force that they called the imperial marines.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

No, no, they're not marines nor are they imperial.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No, no, no, no, no. I don't know where the word imperial came from. I think it's because he's just again, Chuck in a way, he has his own sense of humor about how he's the god head of this group.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Okay.

MARCUS PARKS

They began running drills in which all residents had to stop what they were doing when they heard the words 'hey rube'.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Hey rube!

MARCUS PARKS

Hey rube.

BEN KISSEL

I would love to see them run drills. That would be amazing. In the army now, dude.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Bunch of jazz musicians trying to figure out how to be an army.

MARCUS PARKS

They then had to grab anything that could be used as a weapon and come running.

BEN KISSEL

That's my dick, dude.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

And like Charles Manson, Dederich became convinced that a race war was coming.

BEN KISSEL

Great.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Well he called it a holy war.

MARCUS PARKS

A holy war.

BEN KISSEL

Oh I see.

MARCUS PARKS

Well the thing is that Synanon was actually integrated at a time when-

BEN KISSEL

So what the races that are gonna be fighting?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

The other ones outside of Synanon.

BEN KISSEL

Oh okay.

MARCUS PARKS

No, it's everyone in Synanon is going to be cool with each other but outside it's gonna be black vs white. It's the same thing, it's Helter Skelter.

BEN KISSEL

Great.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, basically.

BEN KISSEL

That's gonna work out fantastic.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. And as such, Synanon members began reacting not only to actual attacks but to anticipated assaults.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah. He's ramping it up, saying they're coming to get us, it's the same Jim Jones cycle.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

You gotta have that fear I guess.

MARCUS PARKS

One former member named Phil Ritter was almost beaten to death by two so-called imperial marines in his own driveway. His skull was broken and he was in a coma for a week. But that wasn't meant to be a murder. Synanon's next major act of violence, one of the weirdest in cult history, was. See in 1978, an attorney named Paul Morantz that Henry has mentioned a couple of times already, he became involved with a case in which a woman with mental health problems was referred to Synanon. Without asking her what she wanted, Synanon whisked her away to a facility hundreds of miles away, shaved her head, and held her there against her will.

BEN KISSEL

Probably didn't want that.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No.

MARCUS PARKS

No.

BEN KISSEL

No.

MARCUS PARKS

All of this was illegal. It took nine days for her husband to find her and the man who assisted him was Paul Morantz. Now Paul Morantz caused a lot of trouble for Synanon, especially because his actions triggered charges of kidnapping, wrongful imprisonment, and practicing medicine without a license.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Those are all crimes he was actively doing.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, it was.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

And also because she was mentally ill, she wasn't an addict. That's how they got the practicing medicine without a license.

BEN KISSEL

I think Synanon may have caused their own problems and this guy just sort of exposed them maybe.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah, I think they did.

MARCUS PARKS

But therefore Chuck Dederich began to see Paul Morantz as a mortal threat to everything he'd built.

BEN KISSEL

Uh oh.

MARCUS PARKS

Now Morantz knew that Dederich was a dangerous man because he'd heard about the severe beatings and threatening phone calls from Synanon members didn't help matters either. Eventually Morantz bought a shotgun and started checking his car for bombs every time he got in.

BEN KISSEL

Jeez.

MARCUS PARKS

And as it turned out, Morantz's instincts were correct.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Because everyone thought for a while that he was crazy.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

They were like they're just a group of cooks, this is just a thing, it was like a fad or whatever, they're not gonna do anything. But he was like I think these guys are going to kill me.

BEN KISSEL

The idea of a car bomb, it's unique.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I mean it happened.

BEN KISSEL

Really, you think they're going to use a car bomb to kill you?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It definitely used to happen way more than it used to. I know that car bombs were used a lot in the Italian mafia.

MARCUS PARKS

Neo nazis.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

In the troubles in Ireland, there was a lot of car bombs and stuff.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

You go through the drive through at Taco Bell, you got some friends in the car, next thing you know you got car bombs.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Now that is old fashioned humor.

MARCUS PARKS

That's good humor. That's a very good humor. I'm gonna call you the good humor man.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, they call me the poopy chalupa.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's bad.

BEN KISSEL

Yes indeed.

MARCUS PARKS

Well one night in October of 1977, Morantz said he was just gonna go home, sit down, watch the world series, and not think about Synanon for one goddamn second.

BEN KISSEL

Man, Mr. Morantz, that's a lot of detail. All right, I usually just say goodnight.

MARCUS PARKS

One goddamn second.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

One goddamn second.

MARCUS PARKS

But before he could do that, he had to check his mail.

BEN KISSEL

Uh Oh.

MARCUS PARKS

Now he didn't have his glasses on that night but through the grill of his mailbox he said he could see the outline of an unusually shaped package.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh look at that, somebody sent my slinkies.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, wow.

MARCUS PARKS

But When he opened the mailbox he found a 4.5 ft long rattlesnake with the rattle removed.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah, dude.

BEN KISSEL

Well is it poisonous then still?

MARCUS PARKS

Oh god, yeah! The rattle isn't the... What?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh very much so. The rattle is what keeps the snake away from you! the rattle is there to...

MARCUS PARKS

What are you a-

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He doesn't know.

BEN KISSEL

I'm sorry I'm not a fucking snake expert.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

This is the least of our troubles. You know what I mean? Of things that he's got incorrect, this is the very least.

BEN KISSEL

What have I got incorrect?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Technically he was correct about the bees last week so this cancels out.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

I am so usually correct. You can count the things I've got incorrect the amount of times a clock is broken.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

The corn in the poop story, the clocks.

BEN KISSEL

No, corn is in poop!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No, your allegorical tale.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That you said a long time ago.

BEN KISSEL

And the clocks actually holds up, I've had someone DM me and tell me that that was true.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's a long list. That's cause they're just trying to fuck you.

BEN KISSEL

No, man.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

They're just trying to have sex with you for some reason.

BEN KISSEL

I've been told that that's kinda smart. They actually said that, I got a DM saying that's kinda smart actually.

MARCUS PARKS

That's kinda smart actually?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

They're just looking for money. They're trying to get involved in your life.

MARCUS PARKS

Well the snake immediately struck bit Morantz on the hand.

BEN KISSEL

Whoa!

MARCUS PARKS

And Morantz yelled, quote:

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

"Call the police! Call an ambulance! I've been bit by a goddamn rattlesnake! It's Synanon! Synanon got me!"

BEN KISSEL

Oh my god. Whoa.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, he's running around his apartment complex screaming Synanon got me.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Synanon got me!

BEN KISSEL

Jesus. There's something very symbolic about the snake as well I suppose.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah, dude.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Because he to them, he was a little snake in the grass.

BEN KISSEL

Yes indeed, he was.

MARCUS PARKS

As it turned out, the rattlesnake had been put in Morantz's mailbox by two Synanon members named Joe Musico and Lance Kenton.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Let's just say you come at half face with even a little bit and you miss, you might get a little bit of a sniffing, snattling gift in your fucking mailbox.

BEN KISSEL

Something like a snake or something?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, I didn't say it.

BEN KISSEL

Like a snake, yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You said that.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Well Lance Kenton was actually the son of Stan Kenton, famed jazz artist.

BEN KISSEL

All right. You say that like anyone on earth knows Stan Kenton.

MARCUS PARKS

Fernando, play the tune. He's known for this one. The Peanut Vendor. (jazz music plays)

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Okay.

BEN KISSEL

He's very famous. All right.

MARCUS PARKS

He's extraordinarily famous, Stan Kenton.

BEN KISSEL

Not extraordinarily famous but this is a famous song.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I feel like we're about to swap wives.

MARCUS PARKS

I feel like I'm at Christmas Eve in Puerto Rico.

BEN KISSEL

Oh very nice.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

From your mouth to god's ears.

BEN KISSEL

Yes indeed.

MARCUS PARKS

But as far as Stan Kenton's son went, it's arguable that the rattlesnake in the mailbox prank, that killed Stan because he died two years later, probably of a broken heart.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Because you know once you break a jazz musician's heart, it's hard to put back together.

BEN KISSEL

It never goes back together, absolutely not.

MARCUS PARKS

This though was on Stan because his son had been a lifelong Synanon member who'd lived in one of their compound since he was 10 years old.

BEN KISSEL

So Stan sent him there because he didn't want him to interfere with his music career. Interesting indeed.

MARCUS PARKS

I don't know, you're just saying that.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Jazz is sometimes about the sons you don't raise.

BEN KISSEL

Absolutely. You can't be a jazz musician and a father.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No.

BEN KISSEL

Ugh, yuck.

MARCUS PARKS

Well both Lance Kenton and Joe were picked up after the getaway vehicle was traced back to Synanon because they actually waited to make sure that the rattlesnake bit him.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Got him.

BEN KISSEL

They are so stupid.

MARCUS PARKS

And then when they saw it was like oh, got him!

BEN KISSEL

Got him.

MARCUS PARKS

They of course sped away and it was like okay, this guy's screaming about a rattlesnake, those guys are peeling out.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

They brought the rattlesnake.

BEN KISSEL

Oh my god.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's the rattlesnake's driver.

BEN KISSEL

So stupid.

MARCUS PARKS

And based on the tapes obtained from a raid in which Dederich said that anyone could get quote "killed dead", physically dead for messing with Synanon, Chuck was arrested too. But luckily for them, Paul Morantz, he got the antivenom in time.

BEN KISSEL

Good.

MARCUS PARKS

But he is still affected by the snakebite.

BEN KISSEL

Is he alive?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No, it fucked him up. He was alive.

BEN KISSEL

Is he still alive?

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, you can get antivenom for rattlesnakes.

BEN KISSEL

No, no, I'm saying he is alive in real life?

MARCUS PARKS

As of the article that I read like two years ago, yeah, he was still alive two years ago.

BEN KISSEL

No shit.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He died this October 23, 2022.

MARCUS PARKS

Wow!

BEN KISSEL

Really? Wow.

MARCUS PARKS

Interesting. Yeah, that's what he said is that-

BEN KISSEL

The snake finally got him.

MARCUS PARKS

Well that's what he said, it was the longest murder in history.

BEN KISSEL

Wow.

MARCUS PARKS

Because this rattlesnake bite, it's kinda like, think of Jim Brady.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah. It fucks with you.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. Now when the police found Chuck Dederich, he had long since tossed away his sobriety. He was arrested in his $1 million Lake Havasu compound, staring straight ahead in a stupor with an empty bottle of Chivas Regal in front of him. He was so drunk in fact and 300 lbs to boot that he had to be carried out of his compound on a stretcher.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Man.

BEN KISSEL

That is the cult leader's way to go.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's the only way I want to go, dude. Having to be physically removed from my compound.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah. I'm too drunk to arrest.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I'm too drunk to be arrested, sir, officer.

MARCUS PARKS

Now Dederich was able to dodge most of the blame. Actually he did kind of use the I'm too drunk to go to jail excuse.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

He was able to dodge most of the blame because by the time the cops got to him he'd had a stroke from being so fat and he was suffering complications from drinking two quarts of Chivas Regal a day.

BEN KISSEL

So he's back to being an alcoholic, he has half a face, and now he's 300 lbs and suffered a stroke.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yep.

MARCUS PARKS

Yes.

BEN KISSEL

Why is he god again?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Hey, hey, because sometimes god's gotta fucking relax. Okay?

MARCUS PARKS

But as far as Synanon went, it very quickly found itself in the wrong climate to be a crazy potentially murderous baldheaded cult. Five weeks after the rattlesnake incident, Jonestown. And Synanon had direct ties to Peoples Temple.

BEN KISSEL

Yikes.

MARCUS PARKS

Synanon had donated supplies to Jim Jones multiple times over the years.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Man, their sneaker collab was also out of control, dog.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, that's like donating the E. coli filled beef to Bob's Big Boy. Was it Bob's Big Boy that had the E. coli? Jack in the Box.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Jack in the Box.

MARCUS PARKS

Jack in the Box. Yeah, don't malign Bob's Big Boy.

BEN KISSEL

I'm sorry, I take it back. It was Jack that did it.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. In the late 70s, Synanon members had played the game with members of Peoples Temple where some very real feelings about Jim Jones were unloaded.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah dude.

BEN KISSEL

Oh shit.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And then some of them they then got for Synanon.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

So he brought them into their cult.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Synanon is still better than Jonestown.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. Well actually one of the women who survived the Jonestown massacre by virtue of being at their Georgetown base when the shit went down, same place where George Jones's son was- George Jones.

BEN KISSEL

He never went to AA. Synanon may have helped George Jones.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It might have.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. Jim Jones, when all the shit went down with him, she was out in Georgetown, she participated in a Synanon game that was focused on Jonestown about a year after the massacre. Then she joined Synanon!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

One cult to another. She was only non cult for one year.

BEN KISSEL

I mean I guess it's like, oh I don't know.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

New cult, new vibes.

BEN KISSEL

It's like stopping McDonald's and only eating Subway because it's kind of healthier.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's the idea. Oh yeah. When they started putting apple slices in Mcdonald's.

BEN KISSEL

Oh that worked out great.

MARCUS PARKS

Now while the two guys who put the rattlesnake in the mailbox got off relatively light with only one year in prison for conspiracy to commit murder, they both pled no contest-

BEN KISSEL

Sure.

MARCUS PARKS

Synanon never recovered and they lost more members every year. After the rattlesnake incident they lost 500 members and by 1984 they were down to only 550 members, which was a precipitous drop from the almost 4000 they had just 13 years earlier.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, he's going in the wrong direction.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Then in 1987 there came what was eventually known as rape weekend.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Ooh man.

BEN KISSEL

Okay?

MARCUS PARKS

Nobody was raped during rape weekend. Nobody was raped.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No man. I don't want to see the people that were disappointed.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, why is it called that?

MARCUS PARKS

The listener who was disappointed, yes.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah. Why is it called that then?

MARCUS PARKS

Well two weeks prior to this weekend, Dederich began showing major cracks during media interviews.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, he started getting real loose lipped.

MARCUS PARKS

He invited various news outlets to talk but when they showed up, Dederich gave the interview shirtless with a half empty bottle of vodka in his hand.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Soon.

BEN KISSEL

Oh man.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

One day.

BEN KISSEL

This is what happened with Dennis Rodman when he went to North Korea.

MARCUS PARKS

Interestingly, Dederich proclaimed that Oliver North was a hero.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Wow.

MARCUS PARKS

Second time we've mentioned Oliver North in this series.

BEN KISSEL

Why the fuck is Oliver North involved?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You start of wonder why conspiracy theories really just start to shoot fucking everywhere.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Like all of these things are all on top of each other, they all know each other, they're all touching.

MARCUS PARKS

No, they don't each other. No, that is conspiracy thought, they said they know each other. No.

BEN KISSEL

But it does tangentially tied to the Iran-Contra.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's what I'm saying.

MARCUS PARKS

Somewhat.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It adds to the coincidence.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Somewhat. Coincidence that this is where you circle.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It just adds to the mess, it adds to the smoke.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. It adds to the mess, yeah. Cause Dederich drunkenly mentioned Oliver North in an interview once.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I'll tell you what because Oliver North's fun. Have you ever met his cousin Oliver South? Hell suck your fucking dick.

BEN KISSEL

I'm not even allowing it. It's struck from the record.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. Well Dederich proclaimed that Oliver North was a hero and he should run for president. And this is like in the middle of the Iran-Contra testimony.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's a business deal! It's a proprietary business deal.

BEN KISSEL

But conspiracy does show we are all connected.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

That's really all it is, isn't it?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's Ferngully but for people that are all alone in their homes.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Well Dederich drunkenly said that all of Synanon would vote for North because, and this is a direct quote, I want you to direct quote this one:

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

"They do what I tell them. Most of them don't even know why I do anything."

BEN KISSEL

Yeah but I mean it's still like what is it like 2000 votes?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

They do what I tell them to do and most of them don't even know why I do anything.

BEN KISSEL

Ross Perot got like 19 million votes, he didn't even get one electoral college vote.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You tell me 5 things about Ross Perot and the only thing I'm gonna tell you is big eared dickhead.

BEN KISSEL

Those are the first two things I was gonna say.

MARCUS PARKS

Well two weeks after that, speaking into an intercom at one of his compounds, Dederich went on a tirade because he couldn't find his glasses.

BEN KISSEL

Oh my god.

MARCUS PARKS

Someone had just moved them. They cleaned his desk and they moved his glasses. But he became convinced that someone had stolen them and he announced that quote "theft was similar in nature to rape".

BEN KISSEL

My glasses! My glasses!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Taking his glasses is definitely close to rape.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Oh my god.

MARCUS PARKS

He then set off the sirens to call all Synanon members to a general meeting. And he spent the weekend comparing his lost glasses to being raped during a series of lectures.

BEN KISSEL

God, Jesus criminy.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's a fucking long game of Whose Line Is It Anyway?

BEN KISSEL

Absolutely.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That is just a long weekend.

BEN KISSEL

Wow.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. God, I mean even a day of that. Can you imagine going to sleep and thinking oh thank god that's over and then you wake up and he starts it back again?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And another damn thing about why my glasses got raped!

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Did I say my glasses got raped? Everybody get closer. Where's my belt?

BEN KISSEL

Yeah. I mean I can't even handle Bonnaroo.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. He then made an appeal for everyone to go get naked and do a game session in the pool.

BEN KISSEL

Why?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Hey man.

BEN KISSEL

Why?

MARCUS PARKS

Everyone get groovy, let's go do a game session.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Let's relax.

BEN KISSEL

I mean that sounds kind of fun but it's totally not what we were talking about.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And if you're trying to set up like a fun pool weekend, maybe it shouldn't be called the rape weekend.

BEN KISSEL

Right.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Maybe it should just be called hey, do we want to have a pool party? Not just like a long weekend, 72 hours of comparing all of this-

BEN KISSEL

My glasses!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Your glasses.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

To sexual assault.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. But by that time nobody was listening to Chuck Dederich.

BEN KISSEL

He lost, he's gone.

MARCUS PARKS

After rape weekend as it came to be known, they referred to it as rape weekend afterwards-

BEN KISSEL

Okay.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

More than half of Synanon left.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, they're like ugh god.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. Because up til that point they could still kind of say okay, he's got some good ideas. But then after spending a weekend of him comparing lost glasses-

BEN KISSEL

Hammered.

MARCUS PARKS

To something so fucking awful. Hammered the entire time, yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

They're like okay, I'm out, I'm getting out of here. I don't care. I'll go back to the fucking streets. I can't listen to the shit anymore.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I will literally go back to the street.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Why not?

MARCUS PARKS

290 people were left out of 2000.

BEN KISSEL

That's it. This guy sucks as a cult leader.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Yes. What finally killed Synanon though, the IRS.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

They always get their man, don't they, man.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, I guess so.

MARCUS PARKS

Synanon had lost their religious status and by 1989 they owed $17 million in back taxes.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Wow dude.

BEN KISSEL

That's a lot. That's like one of those numbers you look at and you just laugh.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

$17 million, let me call my accountant who's a leprechaun and then he'll call my guarantor who's a fucking unicorn.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah, we'll get right on that.

MARCUS PARKS

They declared bankruptcy and Synanon officially dissolved. But Synanon's legacy remains. While the game went out of vogue with adults, plenty of people in the troubled teen community took it and ran with it-

BEN KISSEL

No!

MARCUS PARKS

In all the wrong ways, particularly the Elan Schools.

BEN KISSEL

Uh oh.

MARCUS PARKS

So who would take a relatively benign concept like the game and turn it into a punishment? What kind of person is so sadistic that they would take something obviously meant for adults and skew it into something to be used on kids in the most brutal ways possible? The answer is Joe Ricci, the founder of Elan School. He'll be our focus for the conclusion to our series on the troubled teen industry, although he'll certainly share the bill with Elan School's most famous alumnus, convicted murderer Michael Skakel.

BEN KISSEL

Wow.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

This whole story has been both, this is kind of the more funny section of a very intense, sad topic. And so next week, again, we're gonna get into Joseph Ricci's life. I wanna say thank you to everybody who sent me emails.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Oh yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

There are so many people that have been a part of these programs that are still going. Did you see the Agape, that place, the school?

MARCUS PARKS

This week?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It just closed.

MARCUS PARKS

Really?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It literally, I want to say like two days ago, they just voluntarily closed their doors.

MARCUS PARKS

Two days ago?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

The Agape boarding school in Missouri.

BEN KISSEL

We did it again, boys.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It is really weird.

BEN KISSEL

We caused another disgusting cult to close down. Well thank you all so much for listening.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Seriously. And there are many other shows that have covered from people that have had these experiences. There's The Sunshine Place which talks to a lot of people that experienced this, that TrueAnon story, a lot of those kids, those podcast people were in these systems. And so it's just everywhere. But next week we're getting into Joseph Ricci territory which is weirdly Chuck Dederich but without the charisma.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Oh my goodness.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But people still like... We'll get to it. There's like a hero worship about him in a way.

BEN KISSEL

All right.

MARCUS PARKS

It's a very weird thing.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Same thing kinda.

MARCUS PARKS

It's a hero worship amongst fucking sociopathic morons.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes.

BEN KISSEL

All right.

MARCUS PARKS

That's the people that were really drawn to Joe Ricci. But yeah, he's a unique piece of shit, I'll say that.

BEN KISSEL

Indeed. All right everyone, well thank you so much for listening. Let's see, do we want to talk about the Release The Butthole Cut tour?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You want to come out and see the Release The Butthole Cut tour, Wizard and the Bruiser and Page 7 have been taking their entertainment wares across this country of ours.

BEN KISSEL

They are.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Some of them are out there and they're tap dancing for your dollars.

BEN KISSEL

Literally dancing. They dance more than us and they sing more than us.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

They do.

MARCUS PARKS

Oh yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

So go check them out, they are in San Francisco at The Independent this Friday, January 13th, go check them out.

BEN KISSEL

Nice.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And then this Sunday, January 15th in Los Angeles at The Bourbon Room and a couple of us will be there to yell at you as well.

BEN KISSEL

Yes. Don't expect me.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No, he's gonna be betting on his games.

BEN KISSEL

Don't expect me. All right, well thank you all so much for listening. Do we have anything else, boys? Thanks for supporting all the shows, we've got our Sirius shows which are going so great, Open Lines and Hail Yourself. Thanks for everyone who's calling in.

MARCUS PARKS

Last Comic Book on the Left is coming soon. Issue #2.

BEN KISSEL

Yeah. Awesome.

MARCUS PARKS

We've got some great stuff coming up for Issue #3 as well.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes. Yes we do! And then eventually we will tell you where you can purchase our new comic book that we're writing for Dark Horse called Operation Sunshine. So we'll let when that is coming out.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

BEN KISSEL

Awesome.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But yeah.

BEN KISSEL

All right everyone, thank you for listening. Hail yourselves!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Hail Satan!

MARCUS PARKS

Hail Gein!

BEN KISSEL

Megustalations.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And always remember today is the first day of the rest of your life.

BEN KISSEL

I can't believe an alcoholic cult leader coined that phrase.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Right, isn't that incredible?

BEN KISSEL

Nothing is sacred.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No.

BEN KISSEL

Nothing is right.

MARCUS PARKS

Yep.