HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Man, disclosures, soft and getting softer, friends.
BEN KISSEL
I love soft disclosure.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
It does sort of feel like currently the UFO news, we're going to get into it but the UFO news kind of feels like when you're too drunk to have sex and you're just folding it in?
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, baby. I'm sorry. I ruined everything, baby.
BEN KISSEL
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
It kinda feels like that.
BEN KISSEL
I know for a fact no one at this table has the ability to fold it in.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
I'm sorry, baby.
BEN KISSEL
Because if it is not hard, it is in us.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yes.
BEN KISSEL
We're not folding this thing anywhere.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
I'm including the balls.
BEN KISSEL
Oh okay.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Because they also get very, very soft.
MARCUS PARKS
So what is it?
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Sorry, baby.
MARCUS PARKS
I know it's like putting all the balls in the butthole, that's dogs in the bathtub. What is balls in the vagina?
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
I think it's called putting the Louie Anderson in the kiddie pool. Right? We're having fun here. It's a Relaxed Fit.
BEN KISSEL
Welcome to Last Podcast on the Left everyone. Ben hanging out with Henry and Marcus. Thank you all so much for listening, a small reprieve after learning all about the troubled teen industry. Don't we have to learn about something that's real. All right.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
It's nice to do.
BEN KISSEL
It is.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
It's good to do because it was a current issue. But this is also a current issue because we're watching the enveloping and the opening up, the gaping of the eye hole into the goods of the UFO world. We're looking at the very colon of the UFO information world right now.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
BEN KISSEL
Yes indeed. Did you see the most recent footage of the orb?
MARCUS PARKS
There's a new orb?
BEN KISSEL
There is a new orb. It's a trip, bro.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
There's a new orb. Jeremy Corbell just put out another picture of a flash of a chunk, it was some sort of another official video that he showed. He teased us with a slice.
BEN KISSEL
He did indeed.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
And it looks like a metal orb.
MARCUS PARKS
Okay.
BEN KISSEL
Yeah, it looks like Louie Anderson getting into a hot tub.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
I did that joke. I did the bit.
BEN KISSEL
All right everyone, today's topic, the Trinity UFO crash and the slow unfurling of UFO disclosure.
MARCUS PARKS
Now for the last few years students of the UFO phenomenon have been tantalized by the soft disclosure movement.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Everywhere.
MARCUS PARKS
It's spearheaded by the United States government.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
It could definitely use more wet t-shirts.
BEN KISSEL
Yeah. For some reason I don't want to see a ufologist tantalized.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Well think about it. You just got home from a long day of work, right.
BEN KISSEL
Doing what?
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
At the uranium mines.
BEN KISSEL
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Right, every day, all you do. You got your pickaxe, looking for that glow. Because you know what that the glow means? If it's glowing it's showing in my wallet.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah. Uranium fever.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
F-f-f-f-f-f-f-fever. Called cancer.
BEN KISSEL
You think the people that mine for diamonds keep the diamonds? They don't just go back to work the next-
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah, yeah, they barter. That's what I would do. I would be like now I'm negotiating cause I'm the one with the diamonds.
BEN KISSEL
Yes.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
And then all of a sudden guy shows up with a gun.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
And just fucking shoots you in the back of the head.
BEN KISSEL
Right.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
It's unfair.
BEN KISSEL
It is.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
But you get home from a long day uranium mining, right. And you know that your ufologist househusband has been hard at work, right.
BEN KISSEL
Oh I see, the ufologist is not working.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
BEN KISSEL
Great.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
No, he is working, he's thinking. And he's at home but he decided to surprise you because he knew you had a long day, right.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
So first thing he does is he sits you down in your favorite little uranium lead lined chair, right, because you have to sit in because if not you contaminate the entire house.
BEN KISSEL
That's nice, yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
But then he comes out, he brings you a nice little glass of Chianti and you notice he's only wearing a suspender.
BEN KISSEL
But what's he suspending them to?
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah, what's it-
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
They're just hooked into the flap of apron flesh above his penis.
BEN KISSEL
Oh okay.
MARCUS PARKS
Gotcha.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Because as you know, as a ufologist, you have four bellies. Because I have my top belly, I have my belly that reaches kinda underneath my belly like a shadow belly.
BEN KISSEL
Right.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Right, it's a hidden belly, kind of a vestigial belly. Then I have my pubic mound that I consider a belly as well.
BEN KISSEL
Absolutely. You can store nuts in there.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
And there truly has been another little tiny little pouch just under that. So that's all the mystery that is me.
BEN KISSEL
Yes indeed.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
And so that's how a ufologist tantalizes is that one fold goes up. Ooh what's that? Pink, kind of brown. Another fold goes up. Ooh getting gray. Right? You never know what's underneath there.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
And then he brings you a bunch of borscht. Because again that's a no cooking food.
BEN KISSEL
Well isn't that fantastic. All right. The Trinity UFO crash.
MARCUS PARKS
That's the thing is that students of the UFO phenomenon, they've been tantalized.
BEN KISSEL
Okay.
MARCUS PARKS
The American public on the other hand couldn't give a fuck about soft disclosure.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Whatever.
MARCUS PARKS
And this is of course I think it's due to all the shit that's gone down over the last six some odd years.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Oh fuck you. What has happened? What is going on out there? Have you seen this? Have you heard about this?
BEN KISSEL
Thank you for being here, Mr. Leno.
MARCUS PARKS
Well put another way, if the soft disclosure movement had begun and say 1996, Americans will be losing their fucking minds with excitement and wonder like it was the first 30 minutes of Independence Day.
BEN KISSEL
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
You don't think that Bill Clinton wasn't in the fucking basement of the White House trying to figure out how he could put a picture of a UFO in the news and not talk about him shoving the cigar inside of that woman's vagina? He was desperate for disclosure.
BEN KISSEL
Cigar. Oumuamua.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Oumuamua.
MARCUS PARKS
Oumuamua.
BEN KISSEL
So was perhaps that foreshadowing? Maybe Monica Lewinsky's pussy is a black hole. His cigar's Oumuamua. And when he inserted that said cigar, a Cuban, into Monica, it opened up a third world and then boom, that's why we have this alien spacecraft with us today.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
We should have got him about having the illegal cigar. That's where the crime was.
BEN KISSEL
That's all they smoke is the Cubans. Before the embargo! Buckets and buckets of them! They were sending buckets of them!
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah, hypocrisy. That's the real crime here.
BEN KISSEL
That's the crime.
MARCUS PARKS
Well as it is, the soft disclosure movement which is changing the study of the UFO phenomenon before our very eyes-
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Oh yes.
MARCUS PARKS
It gets buried in the day to day media noise even with regular coverage from reputable sources like the New York Times. But the thrust of this episode is one such article.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
That's the hump of it. And you are truly... I love the fact that I got you now.
MARCUS PARKS
You got me!
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
We talk about it on the show and the live show we've talked about how I have recruited you but it's not a bit. It's nice because you were like oh this article is interesting and I was like I'm reaching you. He's making his own little UFO choices.
MARCUS PARKS
Well it clicked.
BEN KISSEL
Interesting, the New York Times. Wow.
MARCUS PARKS
It wasn't even the New York Times, it just finally clicked.
BEN KISSEL
Arguably the New York Times is at its political weakest point in the history of the New York Times.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Well yeah, it's for the UFOs now.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
BEN KISSEL
Now it's for the UFOs.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah.
BEN KISSEL
So the New York Times has become the Weekly World News.
MARCUS PARKS
No, it's not.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
UFOs are real news now.
BEN KISSEL
Wow.
MARCUS PARKS
It's real news. That's the thing, you're misunderstanding because-
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Purposefully obfuscating.
BEN KISSEL
No, Weekly World News had one proper article every single store, every single little-
MARCUS PARKS
Week?
BEN KISSEL
Week. There was something real.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
People accuse me of being the op. I'm starting to think you're the op.
BEN KISSEL
No.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah. No, not an op.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
No.
MARCUS PARKS
Just simply a, what would you call it? A contrarian agent.
BEN KISSEL
Wow.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Interesting. Muddying the waters.
BEN KISSEL
I can't deny that, otherwise I'd be proving your point.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Exactly.
BEN KISSEL
So yes, I am.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Whoa. All right.
BEN KISSEL
Yes.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Weird. Bad. That's bad.
BEN KISSEL
Also I just have to get this off my chest. I just wanna see a commercial where it's just a miner going through and finding a diamond and crying because he's so happy and can feed his family, then getting killed and having a rich European man steal it from him and then it just says he went to Jared's.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
That is the entire Fraudsters. Fraudsters did a whole series about how the diamond industry is fake. But yeah, good plug.
BEN KISSEL
He went to Jared's.
MARCUS PARKS
Well just last week the Times covered an amendment buried in the new defense bill that requires the Department of Defense to review historical data related to unidentified aerial phenomena, UAPs, which is the fancy new acronym for UFOs.
BEN KISSEL
Cool.
MARCUS PARKS
So this story, this episode is not about the fact that this is in the New York Times. This episode is about what's in the new defense bill.
BEN KISSEL
I wonder if they're gonna be able to shave a little bit off of that nearly trillion dollar budget.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Well this is what they do.
BEN KISSEL
Where are they gonna find the money?
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
This is literally how they did it because again you say fancy new word for UFOs, it's specifically done to be-
MARCUS PARKS
Acronym. It's not a word, don't confuse.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
It's fine, it's UAP, you know what I'm saying. But it is specifically to distance from the topic, right.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
It is made to sound like a thing that's not a thing. Unidentified aerial phenomena means nothing, right.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
It's just like anything could be that.
BEN KISSEL
It's a UFO.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
But UFOs they felt like because that's a non serious term, this is how they use it to make it government so you can get a budget behind it.
BEN KISSEL
To be fair to the government, y'all kind of ruin the term UFO.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
It's too late.
MARCUS PARKS
It is. It's got a connotation to it that you can't get rid of.
BEN KISSEL
It does. It does.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Can't shake.
BEN KISSEL
There's a smell to it.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
It's that third belly smell.
MARCUS PARKS
Well introduced by Wisconsin representative Mike Gallagher who declined an interview request from the Times-
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
He just thinks it makes him gay.
BEN KISSEL
He's got a weird little head.
MARCUS PARKS
Republican. The amendment requires a written report detailing the historical record relating to UFOs and the United States dating back to 1945, two years before the alleged Roswell crash. And I cannot stress enough, I really want the audience to know this is an amendment to the defense bill.
BEN KISSEL
Yeah.
MARCUS PARKS
This is not speculation.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
No.
MARCUS PARKS
This is fact.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Well it's because they are uncovering a lot of shit because they're finally opening up the coffers of all of the various military people that have called and said that they've seen shit that they've kind of hidden or not fully looked into. But this is like a new list of sightings and experiences that they're finally... I want to say this list that they're looking at starts around 2000, like it's in the 2000s. So you're looking at sightings from the last 20 years.
MARCUS PARKS
No, this one right here? No, this is going back to 1945. Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yes but the money went into the new sightings.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
But now they're trying to create a whole aggregate service for it because that's what Jacques Vallée is doing. He talked about it in a very boring three hour podcast, I listened to him talk.
BEN KISSEL
I'm just so happy the US government and the military is taking into consideration the people who are traumatized by seeing UFOs but not getting the respect they deserve. Now if you were assaulted within the military, no hotline for you.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Sh. Shush shush shush shush shush.
BEN KISSEL
But if you see something floating that looked like a tit, call us right now.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
You gotta be careful.
BEN KISSEL
May I ask this, is it possible that Roswell is the Richard Reid of UFO sightings? Richard Reid of course the shoe bomber that they set up, they gave him a candle wick and they were like we got you!
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah.
BEN KISSEL
Because they set him up and he literally was walking like a flame. Is it possible Roswell was a recreation of what happened in 1945 so then they retro engineered it and then got the press because of that?
MARCUS PARKS
Nah, I don't think so. Because Roswell was a purposeful cover up.
BEN KISSEL
Yeah.
MARCUS PARKS
If you listen to what's his name that actually went out and found the the wreckage-
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Stanton Friedman.
MARCUS PARKS
No, not Stanton Friedman. Yeah, I'm talking about the guy who actually found the records, the guy that's in the photo that's holding up what is supposedly debris from a UFO crash but is actually just a weather balloon.
BEN KISSEL
Okay.
MARCUS PARKS
Because he showed up with the debris from the UFO crash and then they said like no, no, no, don't show that, show this. He's like it's a fucking weather balloon. They're like yeah, we know, fucking show it and fucking tell them that it's a UFO.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
And then the New York Times continued that fucking bullshit at the very top of this article about the new sighting that Jacques Vallée has been sitting on like a big stinky egg which is a story that happened before Roswell that is very interesting, this Trinity crash.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
But it's very frustrating because at the top of the New York Times it's like a top secret weather balloon crashed and created the Roswell stink. And it's like fuck you, bro.
BEN KISSEL
Got it.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
It wasn't a weather balloon, man.
BEN KISSEL
Interesting. It's like when your favorite adult pornstar who has sex with men on camera and you find out she's a lesbian and then that's why she hasn't been responding to your Dms. Got it.
MARCUS PARKS
Well back to the amendment. This requirement has a deadline, the requirement for the report, of June 2024. But the reason why it has such a long timeline is that it requires a full review of all US government information including classified documents. And it's significant because the government is finally taking historical reports of UFOs seriously, rather than just recent
military reports and footage.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
They're looking at the historical reports but they're leaving the hysterical reports behind. And I want to talk about the eraser from comedy and the government.
BEN KISSEL
Really powerful.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
And how we are all being canceled from being funny anymore.
BEN KISSEL
Yeah, the chatbot's going to take our jobs any time now anyway.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Take it.
BEN KISSEL
I actually think June 2024 isn't long enough.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah, year and a half.
BEN KISSEL
I think they almost gave themselves an out. This is like Bill Clinton saying I'll talk to you for two hours and then he debated what the word 'is' is.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Very smart. He's a good lawyer.
BEN KISSEL
They can't do anything within 16 months.
MARCUS PARKS
You don't think so?
BEN KISSEL
I don't think so. I think this is actually them being like case closed once again. But they can sniff around a little bit.
MARCUS PARKS
Interesting.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Technically they've already been working on it.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
So this is like a thing, they are continuing it but I do feel there's a little bit of that. That's why we're excited for this new breakthrough and soft disclosure.
BEN KISSEL
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
But it's not necessarily gonna necessarily... It's still the government.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
BEN KISSEL
It's so hard because there's such douchebags.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah. Well just listen, let's unfold it a little bit more.
BEN KISSEL
Okay.
MARCUS PARKS
You might change your opinion just a little bit because this is building upon what has come before. This report will be generated by the DOD's new All-domain Anomaly Resolution Office. It's called AARO.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
AARO.
MARCUS PARKS
AARO.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
I like that though.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah. AARO! Yeah.
BEN KISSEL
I do like AARO. AARO?
MARCUS PARKS
AARO. And that's a new acronym that I'd suggest y'all get comfortable with.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah. AARO. Because we're going to be saying that.
MARCUS PARKS
AARO.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Because AATIP was technically defunct and AAWSAP is also long and dumb.
MARCUS PARKS
Oh yeah.
BEN KISSEL
Yeah. Also George Santos' father died in Roswell. So maybe show a little fucking respect.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Man, I will never respect that man.
MARCUS PARKS
Well AARO replaces the Airborne Object Identification and Management Synchronization Group which in turn had replaced the Navy's Unidentified Aerial Phenomena Task Force.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
They do such a good job of hiding shit inside of acronyms.
BEN KISSEL
Yeah.
MARCUS PARKS
But what's different here is that the Navy's UAPTF-
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Say it properly.
MARCUS PARKS
You-ap-tff.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Thank you.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah. That was sort of a hodgepodge. And the AOIMSG, the ay-ohm-sg.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Ay-ohm-sg.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah, that never had a director which tells you that the Pentagon either didn't care, didn't want people to know, or didn't want to know because it would have resulted in more work and less certainty.
BEN KISSEL
Okay.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Well over the last couple of UFO episodes, and I've heard people talk about this too often where ufologists, they show up in a little town, right. And after a while they say there's UFO flap and there's a lot of stuff happening, especially after we just covered the Pennsylvania Bigfoot UFO invasion.
BEN KISSEL
Yeah. Do they show up in a little towns for like a court mandate because they can't be around schools?
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
A lot of times. They're no longer legally allowed to drive so they just live there.
BEN KISSEL
Live there, yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
But the police are like sick of taking these calls and they don't mind letting these nerds set up shop and take the calls for them. Like all right.
BEN KISSEL
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
You fucking do it. Which I sort of feel might have been the general sentiment amongst the military industrial programs.
MARCUS PARKS
You do it.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
About all right, you guys can handle this shit. Some of you guys are into it, on the more wacky ends of it like AAWSAP. And technically that whole group which was just a arm of AATIP, which AATIP was the actual secret program, right, and AAWSAP was just a chunk of it. But they're like dumping a bunch of money into creating essentially theoretical patents on technology that don't exist yet but they are sort of extrapolating from the weird little bing bongs that they're seeing in the sky, that they are saying like oh maybe these are gravitational engines, wormhole traveling. And they're preemptively trying to patent this shit without getting it.
BEN KISSEL
Yes.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
But the military industrial complex is like we're already too busy blowing up people in caves.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Why don't you guys just all do this?
BEN KISSEL
Also Henry, I'm sorry. You just canceled us 30 years from now because that's a racial slur to call aliens bing bongs.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Bing bongs. Yeah. Guess what?
BEN KISSEL
Just because they do say bing bong, bing bong when they walk, we didn't know that at the time of recording to be fair.
MARCUS PARKS
Bing bong, bing bong, yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
I'm gonna tell you all right now-
BEN KISSEL
Bing bong, that is wrong though.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
You know why you have to be wrong? So you have room to grow to be right.
BEN KISSEL
There you go.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
So that's what this is all about. So this is just the beginning of my learning chapter.
BEN KISSEL
Great.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
And so that's why preemptive I'm sorry for everything, preemptive I am now an adult, that was me just as a little boy. A tight little 38 year old boy.
BEN KISSEL
Absolutely. But it does remind me we shot that little special that went absolutely nowhere in Stephenville, Texas and one of the people that was just a local guy, great guy, but he was the hub and he would get calls 24/7 because the police had to drink.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Oh yeah.
BEN KISSEL
They couldn't handle it.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
I feel like there's a little and then also we've talked about in several books, there was skinwalkers of the Pentagon that George Knapp wrote.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
That basically talks about a lot of these guys are just evangelical and they don't want anything to do with it.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
They don't like looking at it. They think it's scary.
BEN KISSEL
Then there's also the wing of the evangelical party, someone that actually works at Sirius. I was speaking with him, he thinks it's all god.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Oh yeah.
MARCUS PARKS
Oh yeah.
BEN KISSEL
He thinks it's all angels and shit. So it's very bizarre. I don't think it would be the end of religion because as we learned in 2016-
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
No, you just fold it in!
BEN KISSEL
Yeah, you just wrap it back in.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
The pope, the new fancy little slipper pope just said I can't wait to baptize an alien. He can't wait to suck a fucking little alien's mound right before he can get to it. He can't wait to fucking molest these things.
MARCUS PARKS
Well there's also the other side of it is that there's those that believe there are angels. But the larger side of it, and this has been going on since the 70s and 80s, I've got a whole collection of these fucking books, are Christians who believe that these are demons.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah. It's just so funny. It's anything.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
It's literally just anything. They don't know what it is. And then half the rest of them are being like it's cloud blips. You see that cloud pussy? Butthole?
BEN KISSEL
Yeah. I did.
MARCUS PARKS
I saw that cloud butthole, yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah. That's a weird ass cloud.
BEN KISSEL
Call me alien, call me demon. Do not call me bing bong.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
I said I'm sorry, I've grown, I've learned.
BEN KISSEL
I really hurt when you call me bing bong. Anyway, I've got to go. Bing bong. Bing bong bong. Bing bong. Bing bong bong.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
There's a stereotype for a reason.
MARCUS PARKS
Well with AARO there is a director, his name is Sean M. Kirkpatrick and he's a former chief scientist at the Missile and Space Intelligence Center known affectionately as Dr. K. Kirkpatrick has a depth of expertise in scientific and technical intelligence, space policy-
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
The moon should not be allowed to vote!
MARCUS PARKS
Research and development, quote unquote "acquisitions", and a specialization in space counter space mission areas.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Man, I've been having so much problems. Just the counter space wars I have in my kitchen alone has just been absolutely ridiculous. I can't get a pasta maker.
BEN KISSEL
That's actually really good. Good job.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
I can't get a pasta maker.
BEN KISSEL
Can't get a pasta maker. That's great. Good for you.
MARCUS PARKS
In other words, this Dr. K, he is no Luis Elizondo.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
And that's saying a lot.
BEN KISSEL
Yeah.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah. He's heavy, I mean he's a serious man.
BEN KISSEL
He's a real dude.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Because well technically Luis Elizondo was, for those of you that don't know, he was the outspoken former member of AATIP that came out and helped quote unquote "leak" these December 2017 videos.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
The Tic Tac, the go fast videos. He helped put them out to the world. But a lot of people believe that Luis Elizondo claims to be a lot more important to that AATIP program than he actually was. And then sort of just was the guy with the videos that talk to Tom DeLonge.
BEN KISSEL
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
But then Tom DeLonge also has been endlessly worked by these various intelligent ops that I don't think he has any fucking clue what he wandered into the middle of. Which is why I think he's very happily going back on tour with Blink-182.
BEN KISSEL
Thank god. Also Foo Fighters will be replacing Pantera in Berlin.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
That's great!
BEN KISSEL
Yes indeed.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Pantera should not be around anymore.
BEN KISSEL
I know.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
It's over.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
BEN KISSEL
It's done.
MARCUS PARKS
It really is. It's a shame.
BEN KISSEL
it is. The Abbott brothers made Pantera.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
BEN KISSEL
All right.
MARCUS PARKS
Well what they've actually appointed here is someone who might give answers one way or another. But that's if you believe that the government is ever going to give a straight answer.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Fucking even just that idea is so stupid to me. Like that's the thing, I get why everybody is excited that they might be taking a more legitimate look at UFOS, which I understand.
BEN KISSEL
Yeah.
MARCUS PARKS
Which I am, yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
But also again, that just allows them to bring it closer in, it allows them to bring it closer in, allows them to just be like oh hey, yeah definitely, UAP. And they don't want to maybe talk about the fact that we might be losing to China in the drone war, like the drone arms race.
BEN KISSEL
Might be? No, we're getting smoked. But the thing is we gotta start taxing these fucking UFOs. They're coming into our airspace?
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
That's a real policymaker.
BEN KISSEL
They're coming in for free?
MARCUS PARKS
Okay, well let me add another layer to it. The defense bill requires the new office to work with the intelligence community to identify anything related to possible UFO sightings.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
If you want to hear a conundrum, use what's the words? Military intelligence.
MARCUS PARKS
That's an oxymoron, an oxymoron.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Fuck you, man. You call me what?
BEN KISSEL
To be fair they do have the smartest minds in the world.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yes. No, I know. I know.
MARCUS PARKS
Absolutely. Let's add one more layer here. Let's make this a three layer cake. Let's make this a fucking dulce de leche.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Ooh yes. I was hoping you were gonna say that.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah. Kirkpatrick may or may not be perfect for this job because he worked with the CIA in the past which may or may not be a good thing. Hard to tell.
BEN KISSEL
Very hard to tell.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
It is very hard to tell because again, if you have worked for the CIA, you don't retire.
MARCUS PARKS
Well he's worked with the CIA.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
What does that even mean? Is he a caterer?
BEN KISSEL
I mean it must be so horrible being a waiter for one of these events at the CIA, being like do you want the mashed potatoes? I may or may not want the mashed potatoes.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Do you want me to put the fucking mashed potatoes? Have you heard about the issues with the fast food court at the CIA?
BEN KISSEL
No.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
There is issues.
MARCUS PARKS
Issues?
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
I was reading a little into this.
BEN KISSEL
What issues?
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Well it's a food court at the CIA. So at this place where you go, where you go eat lunch, there are varying degrees of top secret clearances all at lunch that you have to figure out how to navigate. And it's actually extremely difficult. Like let's say you pop out for a smoke-
BEN KISSEL
So you don't the spaghetti if you're not top secret?
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
It's more complicated than that, I want to unpack it for one of our episodes. But it's just basically there is a way for people to have to sit, there's like fights and shit because there are people that are having conversations in there that other people are not allowed to hear. There's also stuff like let's say you work at the fucking... Because I want to say they have like a Burger King, there's like a McDonald's inside the CIA.
BEN KISSEL
Sure, in Langley?
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
You're just a guy, you have clearance. You make hamburgers at the McDonald's inside of the food court of the CIA buildings. And so you walk outside for a smoke, like truly you can't get back in the building. It's all these weird human things.
BEN KISSEL
Well you can't go 8 hours without a cigarette?
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah.
BEN KISSEL
That's really the big problem.
MARCUS PARKS
I used to have that. I couldn't go 8 hours.
BEN KISSEL
I know but you're still, you're having nicotine now.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Well he's deeply addicted.
MARCUS PARKS
I must have three of the patch though.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
It's just this fun little humanity of it.
BEN KISSEL
It is funny.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Trying to deal with all these layers of top secret bullshit. And again you're just trying to get your fucking breakfast burrito.
BEN KISSEL
Yeah, it sounds just like super smart prison.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
It is.
BEN KISSEL
Yeah.
MARCUS PARKS
Well additionally the office is mandated to create a process for people to share information regardless of classification without stigma. But perhaps most importantly, it mandates that AARO be fully staffed. Although the government definition of fully staffed might differ from the private sector. However considering how disgustingly massive this defense bill is, some work might actually get done here. But that's if AARO figures out the game as to how the people who actually benefit from this massive defense bill get their share.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
I think in the government fully staffed means like when Matt Gaetz adopted that full grown man to have sex with. He was fully staffed at that point.
MARCUS PARKS
Fully staffed, yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah.
MARCUS PARKS
Now since this new department is based in the DOD, AARO is focused on objects seen in and/or near military bases, training areas, special use airspace, and other areas of interest. Quote unquote "areas of interest".
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Man, it's gonna get real, annoying real fast.
BEN KISSEL
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
You let these ufologists you fall run around these fucking airplanes and shit, man. It is gonna be hard.
BEN KISSEL
Well we're in a new glory day for military creativity.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
BEN KISSEL
So I wonder what they're going to be seeing then because there's a bunch of new stuff that we have that is just like tangible, man made.
MARCUS PARKS
Well that the thing, this is history. These are historians, they're looking at historical accounts.
BEN KISSEL
Okay.
MARCUS PARKS
They're not going out to the air force base and seeing what's on the tarmac now.
BEN KISSEL
Okay.
MARCUS PARKS
They're going through old reports going back to 1945. And that's where we're going to arrive right now.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Whoa!
BEN KISSEL
Cool.
MARCUS PARKS
See the reason why 1945 is so important-
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Because of the goddamn war!
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah, kinda.
BEN KISSEL
It was coming to an end.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
The goddamn war!
BEN KISSEL
It was coming to an end. I mean we're quickly going to go into another one.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah. Well it's because the study commissioned in the defense bill is not starting with the 1947 Roswell crash which is often seen as the first major on the ground incident in United States history.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah, that and the Kenneth Arnold, his sighting where he said he saw those, where the term saucers came from.
MARCUS PARKS
But that's not on the ground. That's up in the air. I'm talking about crashes here.
BEN KISSEL
Okay.
MARCUS PARKS
Rather it's assumed that the study is starting with the far lesser known Trinity incident in which a UFO allegedly crashed near the White Sands missile range in New Mexico just after the detonation of the world's first functional nuclear weapon.
BEN KISSEL
Problem was bing bong had a little too much to drink. Bing bong was a little hungover. Dare I say it's actually more dangerous to drive hungover than drunk?
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
The B word. I need you to say the B word. And honestly quit it with the hard G.
BEN KISSEL
Bing bong.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Quit it with the hard G, okay.
BEN KISSEL
I'm a bing bong, I can say bing bong.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
But there's a couple of flags here that show why this story is specifically very interesting.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
It's because literally the crash happened on essentially a missile testing site, it happened.
MARCUS PARKS
Near a missile testing site.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
And it caused full on physical damage to things.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
BEN KISSEL
Wow.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
And people saw it, they went and they saw it. And say what you will about the crash but there's something to it because it was weeks after the first ever atomic tests.
BEN KISSEL
And those were still just really our baby nukes.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
BEN KISSEL
Those were just like infants and they were swaddled and they were all cute.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah, they didn't get to grow up.
BEN KISSEL
They weren't MERVed yet, they weren't adults.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah. Now this is interesting because UFO researchers are well aware that UFOs have been drawn to nuclear testing sites, weapons storage, and power plants from almost the moment humanity harnessed the atom. From the Indian Point nuclear power plant in New York State, that's the Hudson Valley sightings, to the nuclear storage facilities in England, the Rendlesham Forest incident.
BEN KISSEL
Right.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Now this is really in the realm of nuts and bolts UFOs.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah. Very much so.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
So this is giving some credence. This story specifically gives some credence to this idea that some of the phenomena is connected to our nuclear programs.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
And they're obsessed with it.
BEN KISSEL
This is like the MUFON base.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yes, yes.
BEN KISSEL
This is all nuts and bolts, nothing woo woo.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yes.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah. But that's also not to mention the encounters that may have occurred in say China.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Oh yeah.
MARCUS PARKS
We know almost nothing about UFO encounters in China.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Nothing.
BEN KISSEL
It must have happened, right?
MARCUS PARKS
They had to have, of course.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Oh yes.
MARCUS PARKS
They're everywhere. Yeah. And I'll also admit that I'm not quite familiar what occurs in other nuclear states. Like I don't know what happens in India or Pakistan, I don't know what happens in France.
BEN KISSEL
Right.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Well I actually know, I believe... Well France I know for a fact is very up front about their UFO research shit because that's where Jacques Vallée works out of.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah. Yes.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
He works for the official French space navigation, which I just think they're just sending bread to Mars. I don't know what they're doing over there. But Jacques Vallée works for them and they openly research UFOs in the French government.
BEN KISSEL
I think the French are probably the best at it because the one thing they love to do is relax. And they take it seriously.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Oh yeah. Let it come to me.
BEN KISSEL
Did you see they tried to raise the retirement age to 64 instead of 62 and it was like 2020 Minneapolis.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Oh yeah, man!
BEN KISSEL
People were like absolutely not. I love the French.
MARCUS PARKS
Oh yeah, man.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
I got refused a walkaway cappuccino.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
BEN KISSEL
They just don't do it.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
You're supposed to sit and enjoy it. I was like I multitask! My life is a grind life! You don't tell me to relax! I'm here, we saved your ass in WWII! It starts like that, you get into that whole world.
BEN KISSEL
Yeah.
MARCUS PARKS
And then they punch you in the fucking face because the French are tough as shit.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, they punch you in the throat.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah, yeah.
BEN KISSEL
Yeah.
MARCUS PARKS
No people on earth love rioting and protesting more than the French do. I have immense respect for them.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah, they hold their government accountable.
BEN KISSEL
62, they just get to retire.
MARCUS PARKS
They get to walk away.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah. Right to the butter mills.
BEN KISSEL
Wow.
MARCUS PARKS
What we do know is that witnesses in high level positions in America and Russia have said that UFOs were able to control nuclear sites remotely, arming nuclear missiles or futzing with power plant operations, seemingly just because they can. No one's been able to figure out the logic behind them coming in, flying over one of those sites in North Dakota, arming a nuclear missile, and then leaving.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Jacques Vallée calls it a control system which is a thing I'm still trying to understand. He says it comes from computer sciences, this idea of when you watch years long set of phenomena, right, you can eventually begin to sort of chart it. And he talks about how UFOs work in waves, like we talk about flaps. And he said the reason why it does that is because it's trying to... If it is psychically generated which he believes it half is, it's about us all trying to learn a lesson that we're not getting. And with the nuclear, that's the only one, they're like you see, that makes sense.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Is it has to be also a random group test too. But I don't know. Jacques Vallée sometimes I understand, like I'm a Vallée head, I'm a Vallée girl.
BEN KISSEL
You're a Vallée girl.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
So I understand some people are not into it but it's interesting.
BEN KISSEL
I just don't know if we're ready, man. I was flipping through the channels and Ben Carson was on FOX News so I was listening because I just gotta hear what that moron has to say. He calls it Q theory. He says many people that subscribe to Q theory will say this.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
No, no, no, no.
BEN KISSEL
So I don't think we're ready.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
No, no. We're not ready.
MARCUS PARKS
No, no, no.
BEN KISSEL
I feel like we were more ready like 20 years ago.
MARCUS PARKS
Very much so.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
I say we're real lucky if they're not full on nuts and bolts UFOs. We're real lucky if it's a psychic phenomena.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
BEN KISSEL
Yeah.
MARCUS PARKS
I would argue we were more ready 30 years ago. That's the 90s.
BEN KISSEL
Yeah. They should have just come then.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah.
BEN KISSEL
They should have been there then.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah. Because they could have gotten the Bop It.
BEN KISSEL
Oh Bop It!
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
That would've saved us.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah, yeah.
BEN KISSEL
Twist it, pull it. That's my mother.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Fuck it.
MARCUS PARKS
But when it comes to the Trinity crash, it seems like a UFO was simply investigating the site where the first nuclear detonation had occurred just one month prior and this craft accidentally crashed in the deserts of New Mexico. Now today's source is the new Jacques Vallée book 'Trinity: The Best Kept Secret'.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
(French accent) Not anymore!
MARCUS PARKS
(French accent) 'Trinity: The Best Kept Secret'.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Perfect. Honestly his accent is very thick.
BEN KISSEL
Nice.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah. It's almost impossible to understand him without subtitles.
BEN KISSEL
Great.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
I fall asleep. He makes me fall asleep.
BEN KISSEL
Good. That's what people say about our show.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah.
MARCUS PARKS
The book's a bit of a mess because it required a lot of padding to make this story into a book because it's not a long story.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
No.
MARCUS PARKS
But it still gives valuable new information on a crash that I've only heard mentioned in passing for years and that's mostly just because the UFO is kind of shaped weird.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah, it's a funny shape which they thought was really fun. And also the struggle to hear Jacques Vallée say avocado over and over again, it is maddening.
MARCUS PARKS
Now as far as where this crash occurred-
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
(French accent) Avocado.
MARCUS PARKS
(French accent) Avocado?
BEN KISSEL
Sounds tasty.
MARCUS PARKS
Now as far as where this crash occurred, it was 18 miles north of the Trinity site outside the small town of San Antonio, New Mexico, at a ranch worked by a man named Faustino Padilla. Faustino had a son named Jose, age 9 at the time, and Jose had a friend named Reme Baca. And it was Jose and Reme who are the main witnesses here, and they're are 7 and 9 years old. But there were also certainly adults who witnessed the craft on the ground before the military took it away.
BEN KISSEL
Okay.
MARCUS PARKS
Now the Padilla family were among the many Americans who were adversely affected by the detonation of the first functioning nuclear weapon.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
We just did it out loud, man.
BEN KISSEL
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
We just did it on top of where a bunch of people were living.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah, right in the middle of New Mexico.
BEN KISSEL
Right.
MARCUS PARKS
That was the Trinity test.
BEN KISSEL
Yeah.
MARCUS PARKS
Jose Padilla's mother Inez for example, she was looking out the window when the blast occurred, just looking out the window. They didn't tell anybody that they were doing this. The flash blinded her in one eye.
BEN KISSEL
They give you a month heads up if they're gonna start filming something in your neighborhood.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah, yeah, yeah. If they're going to change the parking, they put up a sign like three weeks ahead of time.
BEN KISSEL
By the way, just so you know, we're gonna be filming Girls here.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah.
BEN KISSEL
And they didn't mention this to anyone that was living?
MARCUS PARKS
No, no.
BEN KISSEL
Be like if you're gonna think about going on vacation, this weekend, great weekend to do it.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
It does seem as if number one, they didn't care.
MARCUS PARKS
No.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
And they didn't know maybe, we'll talk a little bit when we eventually do our Manhattan Project series but they lied about not knowing.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
About what the radiation would do.
BEN KISSEL
Yeah dude!
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
And they didn't want to tell anybody that they were doing it because it was really, really secret. Except it was a really big explosion so it's very difficult to hide.
BEN KISSEL
Yeah!
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
It's a thing I think you'd do underground or something you do, which we eventually did, we put it out in the oceans and irradiated the oceans and we made everybody's favorite, SpongeBob.
BEN KISSEL
Oh SpongeBob! I thought you were gonna say the bloop.
MARCUS PARKS
I thought you were gonna say Godzilla.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
No, SpongeBob technically, that's kind of what they're saying is that's the underlying kind of subconscious storyline of SpongeBob is that they were all created by nuclear waste.
MARCUS PARKS
Interesting.
BEN KISSEL
No kidding?
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah.
MARCUS PARKS
Well Reme Baca remembered that after the Trinity test a dust that had the consistency of snow or flour covered the desert.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Not good.
MARCUS PARKS
Later it was discovered that this material was highly radioactive.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yes.
BEN KISSEL
Fallout, right?
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah. And isotopes were found in cow milk, game, chickens, eggs, it was in everything.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Don't worry, the government cares.
BEN KISSEL
Wow. Well I think that they could just deduce that nothing good was gonna happen, even if they didn't know anything, what, I don't know what bad is gonna happen but we know nothing good.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
You know how they tell? They literally go and they look at that wind sock, that is the complete truth, they're like let's see where that wind sock's going. All right, it's kind of going that way. It's fine, it'll kind of go over that river over there. That's fine. Rivers move so fast.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Rivers move so fast. It'll eat it up.
MARCUS PARKS
Well we're going to discover this later on, we're gonna look at this later on because we've got a big series in the making right now. But I don't know if they knew about radioactive winds.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
I don't know.
MARCUS PARKS
I don't know if they knew that when you explode an atomic bomb-
BEN KISSEL
They had to figure something bad was gonna happen!
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
I don't think, I think that the most you can say that is good is willful ignorance. I think the most you can say that they just went like well we'll figure it out, we'll figure that out.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah, like all the people fucking getting really sick in the plutonium mines in Washington state or the plutonium factories.
BEN KISSEL
Yeah.
MARCUS PARKS
And they knew that radium-
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Madame Curie!
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah, they knew that radium was poisonous for decades before that.
BEN KISSEL
It turned the entire town of Springfield yellow!
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah.
BEN KISSEL
Simpsons.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Funny.
MARCUS PARKS
That's right. Springfield, yeah.
BEN KISSEL
Yes.
MARCUS PARKS
But they knew. They used to sell radium water way back in the early 1900s because they thought that radium was good for you-
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
It'll look cool!
MARCUS PARKS
Until all those ladies that were painting little radium numbers on watches so WWI soldiers could see what time it was in the trenches, their faces started literally falling off.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Not good.
BEN KISSEL
All I know is I need to have a small Rockstar energy drink break. Now this is full of 14% radium.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Ooh that's why you have a healthy glow about you.
BEN KISSEL
Yes.
MARCUS PARKS
There's this incredible story of one of the radium ladies, one of the girls who painted, she was licking the tip after every single number.
BEN KISSEL
Oh no.
MARCUS PARKS
Because they're like oh it's like calcium. But yeah, radium actually goes into... It does act like calcium except it goes into your bones and it lives there, it never leaves. So this woman, she had this huge tumor on her face and the doctor went to examine her jaw and it fucking just came off in his hand.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
That's not good, dude.
MARCUS PARKS
it just went (squelch).
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
I'm just gonna say no job is worth it. Right?
BEN KISSEL
No.
MARCUS PARKS
No, no.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Except for being a TV personality.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
BEN KISSEL
That is worth it.
MARCUS PARKS
And then after all of these ladies died, of course the company that made the radium watches came out and said you know what, we tried doing a good thing by employing all of these handicapped women and it turns out they just put our goodwill back on us.
BEN KISSEL
Wow.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah.
MARCUS PARKS
Seriously their fucking excuse was they was already like that.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah, they were already jacked up.
BEN KISSEL
Oh my god.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah. We hired a bunch of fucked up shit people, right.
BEN KISSEL
Right.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
And so now they're all gonna be all mad about it. And it's just like well I don't know what to tell you about that.
BEN KISSEL
Wow.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Sorry bro, I'm French.
BEN KISSEL
He went to Jared's.
MARCUS PARKS
The thing is that no civilians in the area when they did the Trinity test, no civilians in the area were told about any of this. They knew that it happened after it happened.
BEN KISSEL
Oh my god.
MARCUS PARKS
The only people who got compensation were the so-called atomic veterans.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yep.
MARCUS PARKS
They were marines who were placed in trenches only two miles away from the blast. Those men eventually developed one or more of 21 different cancers making it the Camp Lejeune of its day.
BEN KISSEL
Wow.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
You know what I really prefer is I love cookies and cream cancer. That's my favorite, I like the cookies and cream, I like a praline and hazelnut.
BEN KISSEL
Oh wow. Very fancy.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah.
MARCUS PARKS
But as far as the UFO crash went, it occurred on August 16, 1945, exactly one month after the Trinity test and exactly a week after the second atomic bomb was dropped on Japan.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Because now we have extras and we gotta blow them off.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah. No, dude. From Trinity to Hiroshima is like two weeks.
BEN KISSEL
Why didn't they just go to Japan and see what happened?
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
We weren't allowed.
MARCUS PARKS
Oh you mean the aliens.
BEN KISSEL
No, us. Why didn't the US government, obviously after we dropped the bombs, why didn't they just go see what happens after you drop a bomb? Why continue to do the test on civilians in New Mexico?
MARCUS PARKS
They didn't. Well they actually did more tests in Monument Valley after that.
BEN KISSEL
Okay.
MARCUS PARKS
But that was just to get bigger and bigger bombs.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah, let's make big bombs. And show everybody we're working on them.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
BEN KISSEL
Okay.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah. Well that's what we were talking about before the show is in Monument Valley, a lot of the people who worked on those old John Ford westerns, they all got cancer because there was still so much radioactive dust in Monument Valley after the tests.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Dust.
BEN KISSEL
Still safer than working with an actor that shot somebody.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Alec Baldwin, man.
BEN KISSEL
Remember that guy?
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
He directly murders you.
MARCUS PARKS
Well on the day of the crash, Jose and Reme were riding horses to check on a cow that was about to calf. They tracked the cow to a rocky area, hitched their horses, and continued on foot. And after finding the cow they were having a nice little lunch of tortillas and apples when a thunderstorm blew in. Along with the thunder though they heard a loud bang that sounded entirely different from a thunderclap.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
And these guys are living next to a missile test range. So they've heard a lot of different bangs.
BEN KISSEL
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
I really do think on some level they know a different bang because they just watched the world's biggest bang.
MARCUS PARKS
Yep.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
And it coated all of them with with powdery death.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
BEN KISSEL
Yeah, I do want to know what the realtor was like. So anyway it's a really good deal, it's super cheap, right. Well why? Let's not talk about that. Just don't even worry about it.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Just shut your fucking mouth, okay.
BEN KISSEL
Don't even worry about it.
MARCUS PARKS
Curious, the boys investigated the area where the sound originated and they found a long sizeable foot deep gouge in the ground that was warm to the touch. Plants nearby were burning, smoke filled the air, and when the boys followed the gouge they found a large solid object. Obviously whatever had crashed there. By Reme's recollection, the bang was similar to what he heard during the nuclear test a month prior but with details like that it's important to note that we're dealing with the memories of a 7 year old and a 9 year old told 60 years later.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
And they were also next to an atomic bomb.
BEN KISSEL
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
I feel like that has to shadow most of the things that you will do for the rest of your life.
BEN KISSEL
I mean also if you live next to an airport you don't know if it's a 747 or if it's a new one of those bus planes or whatever. I mean I don't know, they hear bangs all day. I couldn't really differentiate.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
But unless you look and hear for bangs and look and hear for planes because some people sit there all day and just go look, a 747! Oh look, it's a 797.
BEN KISSEL
My friend, you just got hired at the uranium factory. Thank you so much.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Thank you so much.
BEN KISSEL
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
I go right in, I look in there. Oh something's glowing in there. It's kinda cute.
BEN KISSEL
Thank you.
MARCUS PARKS
But nevertheless just because weird shit is seen in her by a child, that doesn't automatically mean that the weird shit didn't happen.
BEN KISSEL
Right.
MARCUS PARKS
Just like you'd listen to the words of a child who happened to be present at the scene of a crime. Now Reme and Jose were smart enough to not approach the craft but luckily they had a pair of binoculars.
BEN KISSEL
Fun kids.
MARCUS PARKS
Super fun kids. Oh yeah, man. You're out there in the desert-
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
This is the best adventure in the world.
BEN KISSEL
It's awesome, I'm jealous.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah, they're a 7 and a 9 year old with a couple of horses and binoculars and a UFO crashes.
BEN KISSEL
That's awesome!
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
They also just let a 7 and a 9 year old just out there with a bunch of horses.
BEN KISSEL
Oh they still do that.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah, they still do that.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
I wasn't allowed outside of my yard.
BEN KISSEL
Because you grew up in Queens and your father was a cop surrounded by mafioso.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
It'd be like if I could drive a car at 9, right.
MARCUS PARKS
I could drive a car at 9.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
But I mean allowed to.
MARCUS PARKS
I could drive a car at 11.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
But isn't a horse harder than a car?
MARCUS PARKS
Much, much harder, yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
That's what I'm saying.
BEN KISSEL
I think your mom just made you have so much spaghetti so it would weigh you down so you wouldn't get kidnapped.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
I think yeah, she was just excited to make me half dough. I was hery experiment.
BEN KISSEL
Henry Gnocchi Zebrowski.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
My body is different now and it makes me sad.
BEN KISSEL
You look good.
MARCUS PARKS
You do. We had like a 20 minute long conversation before the show. You look great.
BEN KISSEL
Yeah, you look good.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
I'm melting.
BEN KISSEL
You're not melting.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
I got four bellies.
BEN KISSEL
Who cares?
MARCUS PARKS
It's fine.
BEN KISSEL
More bellies.
MARCUS PARKS
It's fine.
BEN KISSEL
So do fucking ants and look at them, they have whole movies made of them.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Whoa, Antz!
BEN KISSEL
Antz.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
With my favorite comedian, Woody Allen. God I miss him. Where's he been? Him and Alec are on vacation right now.
BEN KISSEL
Yeah.
MARCUS PARKS
Yes.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
And they're talking about how you say molesting. You make a molest, Woody Allen?
BEN KISSEL
I'm sure they have a fun time together.
MARCUS PARKS
Looking through the lenses, the boys could see that the object was shaped like an avocado.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
(French accent) Avocado.
MARCUS PARKS
Which was an appropriate cultural reference for the boys.
BEN KISSEL
Absolutely.
MARCUS PARKS
But the object also had a hole on the side. The craft was also emitting a high pitched sound which Reme compared to that of a dying rabbit. Known far and wide to be one of the worst sounds on earth.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
What does a dying rabbit sound like?
MARCUS PARKS
(screeching) A lot like that. Yeah, I've done it on the show before. People know.
BEN KISSEL
Yeah, I know it.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
BEN KISSEL
Yes indeed.
MARCUS PARKS
But what was even stranger is that the boys claimed to have seen little creatures climbing out of the ship's hole.
BEN KISSEL
Wow.
MARCUS PARKS
From Reme's memory, the 4 ft tall creatures looked sort of like praying mantises. They had big bulgy eyes, gray skin, and needle thin arms. Jose however described it slightly different, although he also described them as insectoid in appearance.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Little fucking Eddie Redmaynes.
BEN KISSEL
Interesting.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
This is fucking more pieces of shit.
BEN KISSEL
Don't shoehorn your hate for Eddie Redmayne into this.
MARCUS PARKS
Jose said that the aliens had pear-shaped heads that were in his words too big.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Cool.
MARCUS PARKS
They looked like fire ants standing up. That's what he said. So got fire ants on one side, praying mantises on the other.
BEN KISSEL
Gotcha. I could see that, yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
And baby grays I see all the time as being described as insect-like in their behavior.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah. They were again gray, of course they both described them as gray. But their eyes were sideways teardrops, they weren't bulging. The two boys saw that differently. Jose also said that their mouths were baby mouths, that's how he described it. The noses were two tiny holes, they had tiny ears, and no hair. Pretty standard grays.
BEN KISSEL
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yes.
MARCUS PARKS
But you can also, I mean you say wow he saw that in 1945. But in reality he told this story in the 2000s which meant that he would have seen alien grays since then. It was ubiquitous in the 90s.
BEN KISSEL
Oh okay.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Since then.
MARCUS PARKS
Everybody saw just the alien gray head in the 90s.
BEN KISSEL
Right. Of course.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
But we will say they were forced to keep this quiet, they didn't want to talk about this for a long time, they didn't want to come out with the story. But there's something to the idea that if you saw an alien, if you did see one and then you saw one later, you'd be like that's the guy!
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
I feel like it's a formative experience.
BEN KISSEL
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
If this is real and you saw a crashed object, I feel like this would be one of those memories that would stick with you.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
BEN KISSEL
Right. It would be like if you saw something as a child and then all of a sudden that alien was going to become a Supreme Court justice and you'd be like now I remember!
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yes. That would be incredible.
BEN KISSEL
Yeah. Ooh, aliens on the Supreme Court. Why not?
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
I mean they already are on the Supreme Court.
BEN KISSEL
It would be so much better.
MARCUS PARKS
But what's most interesting about Jose and Reme's experience is that it shares a fair amount with the Ariel School incident that occurred decades later and an ocean away in South Africa during the 90s. Like the kids at Ariel School which we covered last fall I believe-
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yes.
BEN KISSEL
Wow.
MARCUS PARKS
Jose and Reme had slightly different perceptions of the creatures. They observed that the creatures glided instead of walked.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Like they're not real.
MARCUS PARKS
And they also claimed that the creatures transferred a feeling of pure sorrow. The kids at Ariel School also said that emotions were transferred like they were radiating them.
BEN KISSEL
Well because they just crashed a really expensive plane perhaps.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Honestly yeah.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
And they're worried about insurance.
BEN KISSEL
So they're just like oh shit.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Oh my premium is going up. I really bing bonged this.
BEN KISSEL
I bing bonged. This is why they call us bing bong, bing bong.
MARCUS PARKS
And this is all pretty close to what the kids at Ariel School in South Africa described 50 years later. Now one may say that these images were optical illusions, you might even say that the feelings are some sort of weird misremembered and misplaced trauma. Remember these kids had seen the world's first nuclear explosion a month prior.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
There's a lot going on.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
BEN KISSEL
Yeah.
MARCUS PARKS
But from what the two men said many years later when they were finally interviewed about their experience, they said that they watched the creatures for hours until it got dark and they went home. Sat there with their binoculars watching these creatures walk around, doing weird alien shit.
BEN KISSEL
Just literally screaming at each other. Loretta! I told you not to drive, Loretta!
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
This is what happens when you distract me!
BEN KISSEL
God dang it!
MARCUS PARKS
Furthermore, the boys returned to the crash site a couple of days later to find that the avocado-shaped craft was still there, undiscovered by government agencies. This wasn't just a fleeting experience. They measured the craft by stepping it and they determined that it was between 25-30 ft long, about 14 ft high.
BEN KISSEL
Wow.
MARCUS PARKS
It's similar to what we estimate some UFOs in those new videos taken by the Navy and the Air Force, that's about the size we estimate them to be. Some of them at least.
BEN KISSEL
Wow. Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
It is interesting because Raytheon has now come forward, they're the guys that developed the cameras for our battleships and shit. And basically they're designed to look at jets and they're designed to look for enemy military technology but they're trying to come out and say listen, when you sent us what you needed for these cameras, we didn't develop them to look at UFOs. So there's actually limited data that you can extract from these videos that is actually credible. Now Raytheon is apparently starting to get instructions as to what to look for.
BEN KISSEL
Wow.
MARCUS PARKS
Wow.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Like how to build a camera that can see a UFO.
BEN KISSEL
They'll be able to do it then.
MARCUS PARKS
Now after the boys returned to the site, they decided to tell Reme's father Faustino about what they'd found. So Faustino and his buddy Eddy, a local police officer, they took a ride out to the site and brought the kids along.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
So cool.
BEN KISSEL
This is a great day.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah, this is a great weekend.
BEN KISSEL
This is awesome.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah. Well while they were driving out of course Faustino and Eddy, they're like we don't see it, we don't see it. And the kids are like I swear it's out there, it's right over there. And they found that the closer they got to it, the more visible it became.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah, it was like in fucking cloak mode.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah. Now once they arrived at the site, Faustino and Eddy told the boys to stay in the car and allegedly the adults got out and went inside the craft.
BEN KISSEL
Whoa!
MARCUS PARKS
They were only gone for 10 minutes but when they returned Jose and Reme said that they were almost like different people and they told the kids to never tell anyone what they'd seen there ever.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
They said what was weird was that you walked into this avocado-shaped craft but somehow it had a flat ground and it had all of these things along the wall. We were talking about a little bit before the show, it is interesting the dream-like quality even just the tech, the way they describe it in these scenarios.
MARCUS PARKS
And this is what Faustino and Eddy described to the kids.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yes.
MARCUS PARKS
Okay.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
And there's something about... Because the way the aliens glide, quote unquote "aliens" glide, the way that it sits there, because it's kind of almost cartoony in a way, it's egg shaped, they say avocado but it's basically shaped like an egg and it was like a kind of cartoony hole in it because it hit a radar pole which caused damage to it which is also completely real. But it's weird, you go in and it's like a half done craft, it's all kind of half between our world and something else. There's components quote unquote "missing" that would be in a thing that would make a thing move. It had no steering wheels, no dashboards, no cockpit. It's very interesting. I love that type of shit.
BEN KISSEL
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
There's something about their connection, if it is indeed real, the nuts and bolts aspect is indeed real, these creatures just kind of live in a thing that might also be kind of half alive.
BEN KISSEL
Also Henry when all of this is said and done and you fully becoming ufologists and everything falls apart and your wife leaves you and you're dead broke and Marcus and I won't help you because we're busy.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yes. You already got I'm toxic. Yeah.
MARCUS PARKS
Toxic, yeah.
BEN KISSEL
Yeah, we're done. You can headline at Cockpit and it's a fantastic new club in Florida.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
It's inside of a Delta flight.
BEN KISSEL
Yes.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
And you can do it while traveling, yeah.
BEN KISSEL
In the bathroom, unbeknownst to the other fliers.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Hey, how you doing? You shitting? You shitting?
BEN KISSEL
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Lemme see that. It's brown, huh? Brown, huh?
BEN KISSEL
I love bathroom crowd work.
MARCUS PARKS
Well upon returning to town, Eddie presumably reported the crash to the authorities, somebody had to. And seeing as how this was literally just a month after WWII ended, literally a month-
BEN KISSEL
Wow.
MARCUS PARKS
People were still pretty fucking jumpy.
BEN KISSEL
Oh they didn't get over it in 30 days?
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
We had a whole, do you remember, we'll cover the story about the weird fascist dude who tried to overthrow FDR and all this type of shit.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
We had weird shit on American soil that was happening.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah, I mean people very much thought that there was enemy craft, enemy ships, any kind of enemy weaponry. Because Pearl Harbor, I mean shit, there were Japanese ships off the coast of California.
BEN KISSEL
Right.
MARCUS PARKS
There were German ships in the Atlantic Ocean. People are jumpy as fuck.
BEN KISSEL
Still are.
MARCUS PARKS
But before the craft was taken away, Jose and Reme returned for souvenirs as children are wont to do.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Of course.
BEN KISSEL
Of course. Maybe they had a little shop in there.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Oh sundries.
BEN KISSEL
Nice.
MARCUS PARKS
Well one piece they picked up and kept was a piece of aluminum that would return to its original position after they folded it, a sort of memory metal.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Sound familiar?
MARCUS PARKS
Very familiar, very common. That piece was used to repair a windmill and was lost. But that was far from the only thing the boys took.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah, they just took the stuff out of it. And again, memory metal is what we saw during the Roswell crash which was faked using the fake fucking weather balloon.
MARCUS PARKS
Fake weather balloon.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
They put into the photo op.
BEN KISSEL
Okay.
MARCUS PARKS
Jose and Reme also claimed to have recovered a large amount of fibrous string. I love saying fibrous string.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Fibrous string.
BEN KISSEL
Very fun.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah. They described it as spider webby or kind of like angel hair pasta.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Don't do me, I'm hungry.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah. And Jacques Vallée speculates that this may have been fiber optic cable.
BEN KISSEL
Cool.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
But then he was also incorrect because fiber optic cable is something that light travels through and it only goes through one end to the other. But this ship glowed in the dark.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah. Because that's the thing is that it glowed in the dark. You know what they did with it?
BEN KISSEL
What?
MARCUS PARKS
They used it as Christmas decorations.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah, they put it on their tree.
BEN KISSEL
Well why wouldn't ya? That's perfect.
MARCUS PARKS
For decades it would go in a box and come out December 1st and then go back in and they used it for a few decades and then threw it out.
BEN KISSEL
I mean that's all that we're going to do with this stuff. We're just gonna use it for mundane everyday activity.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
5G.
BEN KISSEL
What do you mean?
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
G-g-g-g-g. 5G.
BEN KISSEL
What do you mean by that? You're just looking at me. You're just giving me the side eye. You just said 5G and gave me a side eye. What am I supposed to infer from that?
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Nano technology.
BEN KISSEL
All right.
MARCUS PARKS
Well that's the thing is that they didn't throw out or repurpose everything. Jose also recovered what he thought was a spinning metal bracket from the UFO site and he kept it.
BEN KISSEL
Okay.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah. He took that thing, he called it his treasure.
BEN KISSEL
It is treasure.
MARCUS PARKS
Comparable to nothing I've ever seen. Because there are pictures of this thing. The bracket is 12 inches long, weighs about a pound and has holes for fastening.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
It's super weird.
BEN KISSEL
Okay.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah, it's really weird.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Because it don't connect to nothing, it don't do nothing.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah, it don't do nothing. And 12 inches long, only a pound? That's pretty intense, man.
BEN KISSEL
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah.
MARCUS PARKS
And when Jacques Vallée analyzed it he found that it was made of aluminum.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Aluminium.
MARCUS PARKS
Aluminum.
BEN KISSEL
Okay.
MARCUS PARKS
Most material found at UFO crash sites are made of aluminum which isn't all that weird because most of our planes are made of aluminum.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Jacques Vallée talks a little bit about because Art's parts was the famed pieces of UFOs that Art Bell supposedly had on him.
BEN KISSEL
Yes.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
That supposedly was given to the To The Stars Academy that Tom DeLonge is hard at work at right now.
MARCUS PARKS
Right now.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
He's figuring it out what right now. But we now call these meta materials. And Jacques Vallée had some of these meta materials from basically a UFO exploded above a beach in Brazil and all of these chunks of shiny metal came down and he got one and basically it's pure magnesium. He said what's weird again is that it's not that it's all earthbound metal, it's all stuff that can be found here, but it's the way that they put it together. It's sort of like sadly it's the Bill Murray 'no human would ever stack books like this'.
BEN KISSEL
Right.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
But it's true, it's like they are too pure. You'd have to go and get it made at a lab for it to be as pure as it is. It's just again, it's just weird.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
BEN KISSEL
I mean I feel like the metals of another universe might be similar to ours, right?
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Who knows?
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
BEN KISSEL
Have we found any hyper unique metals on Mars yet?
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Well there's unobtainium, that's technically real and not real, that's what Bob Lazar talks about.
BEN KISSEL
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
There's element 151, I think that just might be a rum bar. There's another, it's like element 151. It's one of these numbers. Again it lasts for a second in a lab and then it goes away.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah. I think there might be unknown elements out there but I don't know if there's... But you know meteors fall to the earth all the time.
BEN KISSEL
Yeah.
MARCUS PARKS
And I don't know if they've ever found an unknown element in a meteor. There's some meteors out there, like there's a meteor out there that's made of solid gold. It's crazy.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
We've got to get it! We've talked about this, it's the ultimate heist.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
BEN KISSEL
The ultimate heist but then everyone is like then we'd all be rich. No, they'd just change it.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
BEN KISSEL
All of a sudden piss is currency.
MARCUS PARKS
But inevitably three days after the crash a military man showed up and actually asked permission to install a gate in the fence around the Padilla ranch so the military could recover an experimental weather balloon.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Fuck you!
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Fuck you! I can tell the weather by looking outside! I do know that they do need a lot of weather balloons because it is a missile testing site and they need to check out the immediate weather while they're doing it.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
BEN KISSEL
Sure.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
But still, whatever.
MARCUS PARKS
Well they have that excuse, it shows you they have that excuse in their back pocket when Roswell occurs two years later.
BEN KISSEL
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
You see, we love the weather.
BEN KISSEL
That's not the major problems that they're interested in.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah, we talk about the weather all the time.
BEN KISSEL
No. It is interesting, weather patterns.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah. Meteorology.
BEN KISSEL
Meteorology, yes.
MARCUS PARKS
And so-
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Most meteorology is fucking made up.
BEN KISSEL
It's really not.
MARCUS PARKS
And so-
BEN KISSEL
They really work hard at it.
MARCUS PARKS
After the site was cleaned up by a couple of young recruits, they just sent a couple of dudes out there to fucking sweep up-
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah.
MARCUS PARKS
And the craft was taken away to parts unknown, probably to White Sands missile range-
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
That's the thing and there it becomes an atomic secret vs a regular secret and that means it goes away.
BEN KISSEL
I also think that's the smart way to do it. They're new recruits, they don't think that they would even be given a job with full responsibility. They also don't know enough to give a fuck.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
BEN KISSEL
That's the way to do it.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah dude, they can just fucking blow their brains out somewhere in a parking lot.
BEN KISSEL
We don't know if that happened, it's not American History X.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
We'll see.
MARCUS PARKS
Well Reme and Jose took Faustino Padilla's advice and they didn't speak of the UFO again, even after the Roswell crash, even after that happened two years later and only 150 miles away, they didn't talk about it to anybody else, they didn't talk to each other about it, they remembered it but they were just fucking mums the word.
BEN KISSEL
Okay.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
They understood that this was dicey.
MARCUS PARKS
And by the mid 1950s both boys had moved away from San Antonio, New Mexico and they didn't reconnect until 2002. And then when they reconnected, it was like through ancestry. com or something like that.
BEN KISSEL
Yeah.
MARCUS PARKS
They finally revisited what they'd seen as children. It's like do you remember that?
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Remember we saw fucking UFO?
BEN KISSEL
Cool. So they were in their 70s then.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Oh yeah.
BEN KISSEL
Yeah.
MARCUS PARKS
And somehow an ufologists named Paola Harris heard of the story and conducted extensive interviews in 2010 and Jacques Vallée joined in to help write the book in 2020. And had it not been for the efforts of these two men, this incident would have been lost which I think begs the question we always have, namely how many of these incidents have occurred over the decades in which the witnesses told no one? Hell, there might be a fucking UFO in an abandoned barn in Nevada or fucking Utah or New Mexico or something just waiting to be found.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
That's a JJ Abrams movie.
BEN KISSEL
We're just getting further and further away from understanding the past as well. I mean you have DeSantis who doesn't want to teach African American history, aka history, that's on the chopping block. I don't know when we're gonna get to UFO history.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah, that's George Orwell, man.
BEN KISSEL
We're not even at human history yet.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
He who controls the present controls the past. He who controls the past controls the future. Yeah bro, getting fucking mindblown here, dude. I also think that there is a reason why they are starting to put money into these programs. I really do think they must have something. That is my most truly, I know it may be funny to say. My most fringe belief is that they have an object, that they have something, that one of these stories is real and they got something in a hangar.
BEN KISSEL
That's not your most fringe belief.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
What do you think is my most fringe belief?
BEN KISSEL
We cannot say. I know what it is. You probably don't even know what it is.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Am I a mystery to myself?
MARCUS PARKS
Now according to Vallée, government teams returned to the Padilla ranch crash site in 1953 to scrub the site clean. Finally they get someone competent on there.
BEN KISSEL
All right.
MARCUS PARKS
Oddly though in 2017, in something that sounds like a plot detail on The Invisibles, Vallée claims that someone planted poisonous vegetation on the spot where the craft came to a stop, particularly they planted cockleburs and deadly nightshade. Which almost sounds like someone is mixing science and the occult or perhaps someone just believes that there's some sort of connection between UFOs and something a little more witchy.
BEN KISSEL
Okay.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Well they don't want you digging there. And they don't want cattle going in there.
BEN KISSEL
Right.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Right, so they made it poisonous?
BEN KISSEL
I guess that would work.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
I don't know.
BEN KISSEL
I mean I guess that would be good.
MARCUS PARKS
Well lest you forget, the US military has in the past employed occultists.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Oh yeah, man. The fucking Washington DC is a pentagram, dog!
MARCUS PARKS
Temple of Set founder Michael Aquino is the biggest example of course, although I cannot stress enough that my mention of occultist sin the government here is not in any way an endorsement or reference to Qanon, it is merely fact.
BEN KISSEL
Q theory.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
There's also a flip here because one day we will do our occultists in the intelligence community stories because there is some talk about all together all of those scenes, like data aggregator- like groups for the CIA and the NSA. I don't know.
MARCUS PARKS
I don't know.
BEN KISSEL
I don't know. I don't know.
MARCUS PARKS
But to further argue the point that these were planted intentionally, this nightshade, these cockleburs, they were new to Vallée in 2017. Whereas before when he had gone out to the site there was nothing there and he only found them within a 30 ft radius of the crash site and nowhere else nearby.
BEN KISSEL
Okay.
MARCUS PARKS
Now Trinity is by no means the only site of a UFO crash, nor did UFO crashes end with Roswell. Plenty of crashes have been witnessed since and even as far back as 1897 a UFO allegedly flew over the town of Aurora, Texas, hit a large piece of equipment, and exploded into a shower of aluminum and silver debris.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Because I know Lubbock also had a-
MARCUS PARKS
The Lubbock Lights.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah, the Lubbock Lights.
MARCUS PARKS
That was in the 50s.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah. But that was just more of a sighting.
MARCUS PARKS
It was a sighting, yeah. It was a mass sighting but yeah, that was one of J. Allen Hynek's early discoveries.
BEN KISSEL
Cool.
MARCUS PARKS
Or not discoveries but studies.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah.
MARCUS PARKS
But in the post nuclear world, the crashes, or at least reports of crashes increased significantly. At each site metallic fragments were found and most commonly those fragments were discovered to be made of aluminum or magnesium.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
But it's also the physical evidence is so weird because of it's dreamy quality as well. Like they talk about the indentations in the ground that these UFOs, when they land, that they are obviously extremely heavy but then they can lift up without making a noise. Again if you believe witnesses. And then the concept of when they do leave stuff behind it's not like a plane crash because plane crashes, remember when they did the rebuild when there was a big TWA flight that crashed?
MARCUS PARKS
800?
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
There was that whole, it was a warehouse filled with stuff.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
BEN KISSEL
You talking about the one that was shot down.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yes, yes. Now we know that for a fact, right.
BEN KISSEL
Long Island, right?
MARCUS PARKS
Well not for a fact but we know it.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
We know it.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah, but it's not a fact.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Wink wink.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
BEN KISSEL
That's was trippy, that was real life Men in Black stuff.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
It is. But it is weird to think that, like that thing can crash. And it's the paltry evidence, it's such a small amount of evidence.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
And then it goes into these dubious areas.
MARCUS PARKS
And so while the Trinity UFO incident may not be the most well known crash, 1945 may eventually come to be known as the point in which UFOs became truly interested in the human species.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
And then it was Jodi Arias.
BEN KISSEL
That butthole brings a lot of aliens to the yard.
MARCUS PARKS
However it could also be that the study starts in 1945 because it's a nice round number and it has nothing to do with the Trinity crash.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
It's nice.
BEN KISSEL
It's not round. It's an odd number.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
No, yeah. Cause it's 1, 9, it's 10, 1, 9, 9, 4, 5.
MARCUS PARKS
I didn't say even, it's a round number.
BEN KISSEL
But don't round numbers have to be even?
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
It's like 1 plus 9 is 10.
MARCUS PARKS
5s and 0s are the roundest numbers.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Technically it's a really good number because 1 plus 9 is 10, 4 plus 5 is 9, 19, right. So it's 10 plus 9 is 19, one plus 9, that's 10, that's actually 1. It's a really good numerological number.
BEN KISSEL
I thought if it was even it would be round.
MARCUS PARKS
No, no, no. Round numbers are physically round numbers that appear to be round. Cause 0 is round, it's a O.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
You sell more if you make something $9.95 vs $10.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
BEN KISSEL
$9.99.
MARCUS PARKS
No, $9.95 is better.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
$9.95 is better.
BEN KISSEL
$9.99.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah because it's a nice round number.
BEN KISSEL
No because the study is that you don't even really see the 99.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
The only numbers he sees is on the roulette table.
BEN KISSEL
I don't know. I don't know.
MARCUS PARKS
But for the answer as to whether or not 1945 is just a nice round number or if it has something to do with the Trinity site, only time and AARO will tell.
BEN KISSEL
Wow.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Dr. K.
MARCUS PARKS
Dr. K.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Dr. K.
MARCUS PARKS
Dr. K, our life is in your hands, Dr. K.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Our life's in your hands, Dr. K.
MARCUS PARKS
Our life is in your hands.
BEN KISSEL
Wow.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
And this is the sound our life is making right now. (dying rabbit audio)
BEN KISSEL
That's a dying rabbit?
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
This is a dying rabbit.
MARCUS PARKS
I told ya.
BEN KISSEL
Why is it wasting all of its final moments like that?
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Because it's trying to call other rabbits and help.
BEN KISSEL
I don't want to hear that anymore.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah. No, when I was a kid, if you're out- Goddamnit, please turn it off. Turn it off.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
You don't like this?
BEN KISSEL
I sounds like the death rattle of a child.
MARCUS PARKS
Turn it off! Goddamnit! Please, turn it off! Thank you.
BEN KISSEL
He's gonna explode!
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
That sound is called social media.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah. No, no, it brings back so many fucking memories because back when I was a kid if you have to hunt coyotes, you got a coyote problem or something like that, is that you get the fucking sound of a rabbit dying and you put it on a loudspeaker and you play it at night and then if you do that then it attracts scavengers like coyotes and you just sit there and just boom, boom, boom.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Jesus Christ.
BEN KISSEL
I would rather listen to Jonestown.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
BEN KISSEL
I would rather hear the Jonestown tapes.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yep.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah and I don't like death and animals.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Not anymore.
BEN KISSEL
I don't like death in general for most people.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Nah man, sometimes you gotta fucking embrace the fucking reaper. That's what I do, man. (British accent) I'm not afraid of the reaper, man.
BEN KISSEL
I feel like if everything goes well your last words are just like 'ah!'.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
No, we've talked about how sad it's gonna be 'aw shit.'
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah. No, I just don't want my last words to be, wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait!
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
BEN KISSEL
Yeah, that's true.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Oh god.
BEN KISSEL
My last sentence will be like, 'Get on with it, then!'
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah. While you're surrounded by a group of yelling villagers.
BEN KISSEL
Get on with it, then!
MARCUS PARKS
Or 'I wanna die on my feet.'
BEN KISSEL
That's cool.
MARCUS PARKS
That's a good one, yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Can you make it a jumbo, please? That's how I'm gonna die.
BEN KISSEL
There you go. The next customer that orders a jumbo I'm gonna shoot in the fucking head.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
I'm gonna shoot him in the fucking head.
BEN KISSEL
Maybe I have a jumbo?
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
May I have a jumbo please? This was really fun, I'm glad that we're getting into the UFO disclosure. Next week we're going to get back into some old timey history that is gonna make you not happy. Well it's going to make us happy.
MARCUS PARKS
It's gonna make us happy. Let's just say, I'll give you a hint, Donner party on the water.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
I can't wait.
BEN KISSEL
Oh my god.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
I can't wait because guess what? It is he Donner party on the water, it is a BYOH.
BEN KISSEL
We covered something-
MARCUS PARKS
Bring your own...?
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Human.
BEN KISSEL
There you go. What was the one that we covered that was on the water with the military?
MARCUS PARKS
USS Indianapolis. Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
USS Indianapolis. Also fucked up.
MARCUS PARKS
It's kind of a combination of the Indianapolis and the Donner party. That's actually a pretty good way of describing it.
BEN KISSEL
Oh god.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
I can't wait. I really, really can't wait.
BEN KISSEL
Dang.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
But thank you guys so much. Thank you for going to see Page 7 and WizBru. They're having a really good time on tour.
MARCUS PARKS
It's a great show. I saw it here in Los Angeles at the Bourbon Room.
BEN KISSEL
Yes.
MARCUS PARKS
Fucking great show. So go out and check it out.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Super funny. And I don't think we have anything else to plug. The Last Comic Book on the Left volume 2 is finally shipping to you.
MARCUS PARKS
Yes, it's finally shipping.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
It's getting to you.
MARCUS PARKS
We've seen pictures of it.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
We're getting it out there.
BEN KISSEL
It's happening. Thank you all so much.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
When we do the next one, literally we've already spoke with the publishers and they're totally into it too with Z2. Is that we're putting it out when it's ready to come out. So you're gonna make sure you got it and we're very excited because volume 2, it's got a lot of great shit in it.
MARCUS PARKS
It does.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Volume 3 already has a bunch of really cool art and work in it that I want you to see.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah, I've already written a story for volume 3. I've written an alien story for volume 3 that will be continued in volume 4. And we've got some amazing artists working on variant artwork as well, we got one guy, not gonna announce it yet even though I've seen it, it's gonna blow your mind who we got.
BEN KISSEL
Stan Lee. Stan Lee.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
We dug up his bones.
BEN KISSEL
We dug up his bones.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
And then we're going to teach him how to write.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
We teach him how to draw because he never drew.
MARCUS PARKS
We'll also teach him how to write because when you let him write his own characters, they were incredibly sexist. They were awful, incredibly sexist.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
No Condoms Man.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah. I make them disappear!
MARCUS PARKS
No, I'm talking about fucking Stripperella.
BEN KISSEL
What's wrong with Stripperella?
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Hey, it's a job.
BEN KISSEL
Stripper by night, superhero by day. When there's not a lot of crime.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah, her superpowers-
BEN KISSEL
So you can sleep during the day.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
She had luscious boobies and she could make men say whatever secret they have.
MARCUS PARKS
That's true. But yes, that's what Stan Lee made when Stan Lee couldn't steal his ideas from Jack Kirby or Steve Ditko.
BEN KISSEL
He's horny! He's Stan Lee.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
He was. There's a lot of issues with that as well.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah. There's many issues, yeah.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah.
BEN KISSEL
All right everyone, thank you all so much. We'll see you in the land down under in August, can't wait to see you all then. Thanks for supporting all the shows and our new little ventures on Sirius, thanks for all the calls, y'all are wonderful.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yup.
BEN KISSEL
And yeah, just keep on supporting all the shows here on the network.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
The stream will be starting up probably within the next three weeks.
BEN KISSEL
Cannot wait, I've already got some fun videos.
MARCUS PARKS
Me too.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Cannot wait.
BEN KISSEL
Man, I've been mining those. The internet has provided. There's been a lot since we've been gone.
MARCUS PARKS
A lot going on.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Oh yeah, dude.
BEN KISSEL
There's a lot.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
It's thick.
BEN KISSEL
I think people have gotten crazier and dumber.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yeah.
BEN KISSEL
Which is a combo that we need for our stream.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Yep.
MARCUS PARKS
Yeah. And I have a theory for that, I'm not going to go into it now but there is very much a theory as to why the entirety of the world has gotten both crazier, dumber, and meaner all at the same time.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
We're gonna get into it.
BEN KISSEL
Bing bong, baby.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Bing bong.
BEN KISSEL
All right everyone, hail yourselves!
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Hail Satan!
MARCUS PARKS
Hail Gein.
BEN KISSEL
Megustalations.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Hail me because you know my body needs it.
BEN KISSEL
That's right.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
Hail my fourth belly.
BEN KISSEL
Hail your fourth belly and look to the skies. You're not gonna say anything? You're just gonna give me another look.
HENRY ZEBROWSKI
5G.
BEN KISSEL
I hate you.