Episode 546 - John Holmes II

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You think you can come to my fucking house and we're not going to fucking party?! You come to my fucking house and we're not going to play fucking baseball?!

ED LARSON

(singing) Take me out to the ball game...

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You have to hear this fucking song, man. This fucking song, man. You have to listen to the lyrics, man.

MARCUS PARKS

The thing is about a fucking mixtape-

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Pop!

MARCUS PARKS

That I love about a fucking mixtape is that I can put the songs in any fucking order that I wanna fucking put them in.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Crack!

MARCUS PARKS

Because then when you buy an album, when you buy a fucking album-

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

These fucking bands.

MARCUS PARKS

They put the songs in the fucking order that they want you to listen to them in.

ED LARSON

(singing) Motorin'!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I fucking love this song!

ED LARSON

(singing) What's your price for flight?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

God, I'm just right... This whole script.

ED LARSON

Pop!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Makes me paranoid.

MARCUS PARKS

(singing) I'm finding Mister Right.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Just the script... You know when you have one of those dreams, I don't know if you've ever had one of those dreams where you're like truly either watching a crime being committed, I've had this happen, or I had a horrible dream where I watched my father kill a man, right, with his bare hands.

MARCUS PARKS

Jesus.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Right? Fun. Good way to scar.

ED LARSON

It's good to see him get out of bed.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Daddy! You're doing so well. But you know like when you wake up and you're like just thank Christ that's not real.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Like thank Christ that was just an anxiety ridden scenario my brain just immersed me.

ED LARSON

Oh yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Every night.

ED LARSON

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And it's nice to read this script and it's one of those where like thank Christ none of these are me.

MARCUS PARKS

Absolutely not. None of them are any of us. Welcome to the Last Podcast on the Left, ladies and gentlemen.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

I'm Marcus Parks, I'm here with Henry Zebrowski and sitting in for Ben Kissel, we got Ed Larson.

ED LARSON

How you doing? What's going on? I ever tell you about the time I went to jail and I had this dream when I was in jail that aliens had taken over the world. And the only way you could tell they were an alien is if they bled red or they bled green. If they were green, they're an alien, you had to kill them.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

ED LARSON

But they looked like humans, they looked like us.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

ED LARSON

So I'm going around with my friend Tucci-

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Sure, sure, sure.

ED LARSON

And we're going around, we're trying to find out who's an alien, who's not. We go to her mom's house, she's acting all weird. We shoot her in the head, she bleeds red.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Jesus fucking Christ.

ED LARSON

And then I wake up in jail and I'm like thank god.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I'm so glad he's on the show. Just to remind you, Mr. Kissel is taking some time away from the show to take care of his mental and physical health. And that's why we got old bear sitting in because honestly-

ED LARSON

(growling)

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

In terms of displacing water-

ED LARSON

Yes.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You're pretty close.

ED LARSON

Oh my god, I love salmon.

MARCUS PARKS

He's getting there.

ED LARSON

But people know me as a piggy boy.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah. I know, I know.

MARCUS PARKS

Of course, of course.

ED LARSON

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I prefer you as an orangutan man.

ED LARSON

Yes. Well not according to the fans of Last Podcast when I get harassed in the streets and they call me Pigman and oink at me.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Hey, again, that's our street team. Okay? How dare you come at our street team.

MARCUS PARKS

So this episode, we are on to John Holmes and the Wonderland Murders part two.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Dos.

ED LARSON

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

So when we last left John Holmes, his freebase cocaine addiction had reached legendary heights. I feel like it doesn't take much to get to legendary heights when you're doing freebasing cocaine.

ED LARSON

Well he taught his penis how to use a lighter.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He's like look, no hands.

MARCUS PARKS

As a result, he'd gotten himself caught up in the drug dealing game as a delivery boy for a group of murderous heroin addicts called the Wonderland Gang, so named because they lived at 8763 Wonderland Avenue. I actually drove up there a couple of nights ago. The house is demolished.

ED LARSON

Oh is it?

MARCUS PARKS

Completely replaced, yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's been redone.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Because honestly it was a dogshit house.

ED LARSON

Did it get dirty?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Because that was obviously one of the worst parts. I mean when I was watching the crime scene walkthrough, I watched when they show all the bodies, one of the worst things of the whole thing was the fixtures in the home. And I was just like-

MARCUS PARKS

Bad molding.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Where is Jojo here? Where is Magnolia Farms in this?

MARCUS PARKS

But no, it's a very creepy narrow street to drive up there to Wonderland Avenue.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Right off Laurel Canyon. It's up in the windy Hollywood Hills. It even felt strange, like I know that it's now very, very nice and very posh. But you still feel this like creeping sensation like something bad can happen up here.

ED LARSON

It's also just weird because it's a bunch of mansions and shit and it's just like this creepy apartment building in the middle of all of that.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

It's very strange.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Have you ever spent time on Mulholland Drive at night? You should go. I did a whole David Lynch like experience to myself. You should try it. It's freaky.

MARCUS PARKS

I actually like driving around the Hollywood Hills alone at night.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

ED LARSON

Don't walk.

MARCUS PARKS

No.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Don't. Don't walk.

MARCUS PARKS

But the Wonderland Gang wasn't John's only source for cocaine. He also fed his addiction through a lunatic nightclub owner and hard drugs dealer named Eddie Nash, who was again brilliantly and by all accounts perfectly interpreted by Alfred Molina in Boogie Nights.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Eddie Nash is a Murderfist character come to life. You know we cover so many different stories within true crime and like one of my favorite things is like that hidden kind of characters and all of the mishegoss. And Eddie Nash is one of my favorites of all of them because strangely he's a son of an immigrant, he's an immigrant himself.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He's out here working hard.

ED LARSON

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And a lot of this is really about him expressing the American dream.

MARCUS PARKS

Now Eddie was a Palestinian immigrant whose real name was Adel Gharib Nasrallah and he'd arrived in Los Angeles in 1951 at the age of 22. As many do, he tried his hand at acting but earned only a small role on a TV western called The Cisco Kid that had very few gun fights but lots of bullwhips.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Hey, come here, fucker, come here, fucker. Let me look at the screen, let me look at the screen. I don't fucking understand. Why am I over here and I'm small in there? Why the fuck? Why the living fuck am I over here and I'm this size but I'm small over there?

MARCUS PARKS

Well you'll like this Henry. As a consequence of his time on The Cisco Kid which was very whip heavy because it was a show for kids, Eddie Nash himself developed his own obsession with whips.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Fuck yeah, dude.

ED LARSON

You gotta train.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, it's the only weapon you could bring to your mother's house and she thinks it's a belt.

MARCUS PARKS

But after Eddie's acting career petered out, he opened a wildly popular hot dog stand on Hollywood Boulevard called Beef's Chuck.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, dude.

ED LARSON

Yes!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Straight into the hotdog business.

ED LARSON

Oh my god. Do you think he put like beef on top of the hotdogs?

MARCUS PARKS

I don't know why he called it Beef's Chuck.

ED LARSON

Yeah. Maybe just like ground beef on top, maybe chili dogs.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You've got to put beef in the name of the fucking restaurant or they're gonna think this is some kind of turkey fucking bullshit. Because I also think that hotdogs, like would you say health-wise, I think hotdogs do just about the same amount of damage as cocaine. So it's like he started in the illicit substance industry and now he really graduated.

MARCUS PARKS

God, I just fucking mentioned hotdogs once to the two of you and he immediately goes to like immediately goes to mmm. It immediately goes to you guys just fucking fantasizing about hot dogs.

ED LARSON

I had a hot dog in the movie theater last night.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Disgusting. That's actually quite disgusting. You know what I've also realized when people talk about calamari, they're all like you know actually a lot of times it's like pig asshole.

MARCUS PARKS

Sure.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

What if it just turns out we as a country love pig assholes? And that's just what it is. We just like it.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

ED LARSON

That's a lot of pig assholes.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I've consumed an entire bag of frozen calamari before.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

ED LARSON

But what about if it's got the little legs?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I love all of it.

ED LARSON

What's that? That's not pig asshole.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No. I wanna say that's like the bottom of a pig's fucking pussy.

ED LARSON

That's how you know it's real. If it's got no tiny legs-

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's how you know.

ED LARSON

Then it's pig asshole.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes.

MARCUS PARKS

Well by the mid 70s, Adel Nasrallah had become Eddie Nash. And he'd made enough on hotdogs and various other murky sources that he started buying real estate across Los Angeles. And he soon turned that real estate into a string of nightclubs that catered to all types.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Got a fucking disco, I've got a roller bakery. It's fucking incredible.

MARCUS PARKS

Eddie had a strip club called The Kit Kat, a bus stop joint across the street from Grauman's Chinese theater named the Seven Seas.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Cool.

MARCUS PARKS

The first gay club in LA to allow same sex dancing and a jazz club.

ED LARSON

Fucking awesome.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

So he somehow crimed his way into being woke. Like he somehow understood-

MARCUS PARKS

He saw the gap and he shot it.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He did. And it's just interesting because now when we've covered other serial killers especially that are in like homosexual communities, that go out, it's this part of like having to keep everything under the guise of literally a mobster had to own it-

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

For it to be open is part of the reason why a lot of those crimes happened and they were under prosecuted.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. But interestingly, Eddie also owned a club on Santa Monica Boulevard that is incredibly important to the Los Angeles punk scene and the hair metal craze of the 80s. This venue is called The Starwood and it also operated as a quaalude depot.

ED LARSON

Whoa, that makes sense.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

(slo-mo) Hey man, welcome to the depot. Yeah, it's an away from home depot. Yeah, quaalude depot sounds incredible. I do know that we couldn't find them for Wolf. No one could find them.

MARCUS PARKS

No. Quaaludes don't exist anymore.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

ED LARSON

That's proof that they don't exist.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes.

MARCUS PARKS

Well The Starwood was one of the only two places in the late 70s that would host punk shows. And in addition to launching the careers of punk legends like The Screamers, X, and the Circle Jerks, this was also where Quiet Riot, Mötley Crüe, and Van Halen got their start.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's crazy.

ED LARSON

So this is like your hotdog stand.

MARCUS PARKS

It really is. Yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, listen to our series on The Screamers on No Dogs In Space. We go fully into The Starwood and like all the weird shit that happened at that place.

ED LARSON

Now did they have an acoustic album?

MARCUS PARKS

The Screamers?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

(screaming)

MARCUS PARKS

They actually have no album at all. They're the most legendary band to never record an album. All we have is demos and live performances. It's actually one of the greatest tragedies of 20th century music that no Screamers album exists.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's such a Marcus music opinion, that he loves music that does not exist. It's so hipster that it literally does not materially exist.

MARCUS PARKS

No. It exists. It exists in the form of demos and they did a couple of videos. But they never went into the studio and recorded an album.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's like my favorite crypt is Black Santa. Where is he?

MARCUS PARKS

But perhaps because The Starwood was the least respectable of Eddie's clubs, he used it to sell quaaludes by hiding in plain sight. See when cops drove by the Starwood and saw people lining up at the box office, they assumed that they were just lining up to buy concert tickets.

ED LARSON

It's fucking genius.

MARCUS PARKS

Absolutely genius.

ED LARSON

It's really fucking smart.

MARCUS PARKS

The kids were lining up to buy 'ludes out of a cash box that held thousands of pills.

ED LARSON

Goddamn.

MARCUS PARKS

All out in the open.

ED LARSON

How did this place stay open?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Because we'll find out why.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. Well it's because the cops didn't really look into The Starwood all that closely because as one cop put it, the relationship between the LAPD and Eddie Nash was quote unquote:

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

"Never antagonistic."

MARCUS PARKS

"It was never antagonistic." They didn't say it was good, they didn't say it was bad. They just said it was never antagonistic.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

This is during a time period of, not that we're not continuing to be, but of high corruption in the LAPD.

MARCUS PARKS

Yes.

ED LARSON

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

The LAPD has been thoroughly, you know, it comes up quite a bit on our show.

MARCUS PARKS

Yes.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That they seem to be... They're not great all the time at being police officers.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Again, I will talk with an NYPD cop before I fuck with an LAPD cop.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

ED LARSON

Oh yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

I'll agree with that.

ED LARSON

They'll leave you out in the middle of nowhere. There's so many places to leave you here.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah.

ED LARSON

New York, all the space is taken.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

45 minutes from here is uninhabitable desert.

MARCUS PARKS

Well by the early 70s, Eddie Nash was considered by some to be a sort of godfather of Hollywood. And by the time John Holmes came around, Nash was rumored to have connections to both politicians and the police force. Possibly because he allegedly had important people on his side, Eddie Nash could be reckless and therefore absolutely terrifying.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, he's fucking... How do you put it? He's a bit much.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, he's a lot. Extra.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Thank you.

MARCUS PARKS

He's extra.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Too lit.

MARCUS PARKS

Besides owning the clubs, Nash was also a major coke and heroin dealer who got high on his own supply. Nash freebased 2-3 ounces of cocaine every day.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

God.

ED LARSON

Really though? Like come on.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's a lot.

ED LARSON

That's a lot.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's like each one is like a cupcake's worth of flour.

MARCUS PARKS

Well that's the thing, with an ounce of cocaine you get like four hits of freebase off that.

ED LARSON

That's crazy.

MARCUS PARKS

It's not much at all.

ED LARSON

Okay.

MARCUS PARKS

Cause you're just fucking cooking it down to a crystal and then when you cook that crystal, it's fucking poof. As I said in the last episode, it's the least cost-effective way to do cocaine.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes.

ED LARSON

Very willy nilly.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's very willy nilly.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's very unsustainable.

MARCUS PARKS

And he would sometimes mix the high with heroin to take the edge off because freebase cocaine is pretty fucking intense. But perhaps because Eddie often left himself so vulnerable in a state of intoxication, he was never seen without his bodyguard Gregory Diles.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Eddie Nash is such a funny character because in many ways, yeah, total unrepentant mobster, drug dealer, crazy person, murderer probably, we'll get to all that. I mean who knows? At least director of murder. But he also was like he really needed his friends. He was just this guy who loved his friends and he loved everybody in this other perverse really crazy way. And I think it's probably because if you look at, I didn't understand that freebasing, it only lasts for like 20-30 minutes at a time.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And so like he's going up and down.

ED LARSON

He had to do heroin in order to go to the bank.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes. Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Well his bodyguard Gregory Diles, he was a 300 lbs karate expert convicted felon.

ED LARSON

Yeah man.

MARCUS PARKS

He once chased a man out of one of Nash's clubs at 2:30 in the afternoon across six lanes of traffic on Santa Monica Boulevard. Then he pulled out his .38 and emptied the fucking gun into the guy's car.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You know some people, they go to work because they need money. Me, I go to work because I love it. This is my life and my career. I chase him down, goddamnit, it's incredible.

ED LARSON

I'm surprised he was able to get his finger on the trigger.

MARCUS PARKS

Actually we're gonna get into how his meaty appendages actually caused problems later on.

ED LARSON

That's great.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, we do.

MARCUS PARKS

But because Eddie Nash apparently contained multitudes, he did have a soft side. If someone he knew was in a real jam, meaning not a drug jam, Eddie would help them out with all the generosity in the world. But if you fuck with Eddie, you were more often than not as good as dead.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I gave you a fucking favor, man. Let's just put it this way. I feel like he did this as almost a system of control in many ways.

ED LARSON

Of course. That's what all mobsters and drug dealers do. They don't do anything for you ever.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. Why don't you let me help you out? Yeah.

ED LARSON

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's kind of funny because I learned that lesson as a little boy because there was mafia on my block. And I remember just like, now I understand it was all just, I can't really believe that this was kind of just the ecosystem of the neighborhood. Because my cop father and my mother would always say like you know those mafia guys, they're crazy, absolutely. But you know what? As long as you don't owe them money, as long as you just don't get involved in business, they're kind of nice. And you're like-

ED LARSON

Yeah because they build playgrounds and shit.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But then you find out like no, that's not true.

MARCUS PARKS

No, no, no.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No, no, it's all bad.

MARCUS PARKS

Did you ever like run errands for them?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, I told you this story.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I told you about how they used to give me like... I used to go across the street, they used to give me a little bag and they were like take this over there. And then I'd come back, it was this little corner store, and I'd come back and they had a soda machine and then I thought it was so impressive that the soda was free and they click the thing and the free soda would come out. And I was just so like man, it's incredible. But yeah, I was a mule.

ED LARSON

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

They were crime grooming you.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

ED LARSON

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Like if you would have kept going, you would have ended up just fucking right, like eventually once you was trusted, it could have gone a different way.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But I never would have been made because I'm not fully Italian. Yeah.

ED LARSON

But they would have loved to take advantage of a cop's son.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh nothing would make them happier.

ED LARSON

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. Well as it went, Eddie Nash's friends were just as dangerous as Eddie. Reportedly he was friends with the godfather of the Israeli mafia. He had been linked to the death and dismemberment of two Israeli nationals at the Bonaventure Hotel in downtown Los Angeles. According to the police, the bodies were dismembered in one of the rooms and removed from the hotel in a large suitcase and a garment bag, both of which had been purchased in the lobby.

ED LARSON

It's definitely not kosher.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

We're gonna have to throw out these plates too.

MARCUS PARKS

Parts of the victims, including a woman's head, were subsequently found in four dumpsters right around here in Sherman Oaks.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's so exciting!

ED LARSON

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

All of this history is right around us.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

ED LARSON

I love when things take place where I am.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, it's like we're in Rome.

MARCUS PARKS

Now Eddie Nash had become such a coked up weirdo by the time John Holmes came on the scene that he hardly ever left his ranch house located in a cul-de-sac at the bottom of the hill that separates Hollywood from the San Fernando Valley.

ED LARSON

Great.

MARCUS PARKS

This house was located not five minutes from 8763 Wonderland Avenue.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And it kind of even kind of set the scene a little bit is that these types of homes, LA homes are interesting because they look kind of like ranch style.

ED LARSON

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But I find that a lot of LA homes sort of like expand on the inside.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Like when you get in-

MARCUS PARKS

To the back.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Like especially in this neighborhood.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Like it looks like a small house when you arrive and then you open up the door and it actually kind of goes back into sort of a long kind of sprawling thing. And you can kind of see how this is the beginnings of a great place for a literal mythical monster to live inside of.

ED LARSON

Yeah. Because you can really fortify them really well.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah. Because you got one entry point.

MARCUS PARKS

Eddie's body had also taken such a beating from years of drug abuse and its consequences that by this time one of his lungs had been removed, he was missing part of a sinus cavity because of excessive cocaine use.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Get outta co! Sorry, it was trying to turn into an HOV lane.

MARCUS PARKS

And he had a steel plate in his head for god knows what reason.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

To protect my fucking brain from clouds! Guys, I'm sick of having this conversation. Let's listen to Jesse's Girl.

MARCUS PARKS

But along with Eddie's other eccentricities was a habit for collecting rare and expensive objects. Located within his home was a huge collection of jade, ivory, crystal, and silver. In addition, he owned an original Rembrandt and most of his furniture was of the highly expensive baroque antique variety.

ED LARSON

Crystal ain't worth shit.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's not. It's not glass.

ED LARSON

It's glass.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Why is crystal still a thing?

ED LARSON

Oh my god. When I tried to sell my mom's Swarovskis, you should have seen the looks I got.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah.

ED LARSON

No one gave a fuck.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You bring all of your mother's precious memories to a man to sell, being like listen, I'm selling all this, we're trying to get her a gravestone and if you could possibly take one of these glass owls. And he's just like one look at it, dogshit. Throws it in the trash can. Here's two quarters. Like bounces it off your tits. Thank you. No, I don't know, Swarovski is a fucking scam.

ED LARSON

It's a scam. The whole fucking place needs to be taken down. They've had it too good for too long.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You can fucking email me, sidestorieslpotl@gmail.com, Mr. Swarovski. We're trying to take this down, a cease and desist.

ED LARSON

We were at the mall together, they're opening the new Swarovski store.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

A brand new-

ED LARSON

Who is this for?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Who is this for?

ED LARSON

A new store?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I don't know.

MARCUS PARKS

You know what I think when we went to fucking Disneyland over the break, there were fucking Swarovskis like in Downtown Disney.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah!

ED LARSON

Yeah!

MARCUS PARKS

On the way into Disneyland.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's for meemoos and popoos. Yes. It's to be like (elderly voice) I brought this, I bring... You know what I mean? You bring it. It's something you leave at a tombstone.

ED LARSON

I could always tell when my dad went to the casino because there was a new Swarovski in the curio cabinet.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Literally each one was an 'I'm sorry'.

MARCUS PARKS

But that is all to say that Eddie Nash had a pretty nice house.

ED LARSON

I'm sure.

MARCUS PARKS

At least it looked nice.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It looked like an old lady's house. It looked like a very dangerous grandma's house.

MARCUS PARKS

Yes.

ED LARSON

With a bunch of firecrackers hanging around.

MARCUS PARKS

And this was of course in great contrast to the absolute scum bucket of a house that contained the Wonderland Gang. But entering Eddie's home would no doubt have given you the same sense of danger. The only difference was that Eddie Nash was just a little classier, even though he was still out of his fucking mind.

ED LARSON

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Most of the time, true to Molina's portrayal, Eddie wore a maroon silk robe and bikini briefs.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Soon that's me. Soon. Yes.

MARCUS PARKS

And he was almost constantly sweating from the drugs that were running through his system from the moment he was awake until the moment he passed out days later.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's time for my long Christmas nap! Yeah, I've been awake since Halloween!

MARCUS PARKS

Nash was also the type of guy who want you to do drugs with him as soon as you walk in, asking anyone who came by if they wanted to freebase cocaine from what we'd now call a crack or a meth pipe. He called this playing baseball.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Come on, buddy. Hey, you wanna play baseball? You wanna go smoke some golf? Hey buddy, have you ever played inside basketball? Come on, let's go. Because you know what it is about Eddie too is that, which we kind of understand, you know what it is is that he just wanted you to have a good time.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

ED LARSON

This is what he likes and so you must like it too.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Because he can't like freebasing cocaine as much as he wants to unless you're also freebasing cocaine.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Because you can then all talk about literally the structures of snowflakes again together for hours and hours. I also think he was maybe in a sort of drug dealer, maybe not conscious but unconscious way of telling if someone is a cop or not.

MARCUS PARKS

Maybe.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Because I do think that, again, push back, let me know if anybody's worked for any sort of narc unit, I would love to know. Sidestorieslpotl@gmail.com.

MARCUS PARKS

I mean undercover cops definitely do drugs.

ED LARSON

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yes, they do.

ED LARSON

They have to.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But I don't know if they do something that extreme.

ED LARSON

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I know that they'll do a bump or they'll do something else to take the hit-

ED LARSON

When it will save their fucking life.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah. I don't know. But I feel like freebasing cocaine is a step too far for a lot of police officers.

MARCUS PARKS

It's pretty big.

ED LARSON

Yeah. Do you think he had something nicer than just tinfoil? Like do you think he had like a metal sheet or something?

MARCUS PARKS

He had a big glass ball at the end of a small pipe.

ED LARSON

Oh one of those.

MARCUS PARKS

You know the small tube, the small glass tube.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It was a crack pipe.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

ED LARSON

Yeah. Fancy light bulb.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, fancy light bulb. Yeah. And he had the butane lighter before butane lighters could be bought at head shops, I'm sure he had a special order it from somebody.

ED LARSON

Yeah. Home Depot.

MARCUS PARKS

I don't know if Home Depot was around back then.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No, I think he had to fucking find that shit.

ED LARSON

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Also is it weird that I feel like drug paraphernalia in many ways was both harder and easier to get during this time period?

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Because they had a lot of open cocaine merch.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

They had the cocaine spoons, you had the coke spoon you could wear. Like in the movie, I remember during Wolf we all had those things that they call bullets.

ED LARSON

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

There was a little like portable cocaine administrator that you could bring with you that you basically flipped it over, took off the top, hit the bump, and then you put it back in and it keeps your little cocaine in it all the time.

ED LARSON

Yeah. Or they had a little button on the bottom that would push it up and you'd just lift it that way.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. And by the time we got of age we had to deal with using our keys in a shitty bathroom in Brooklyn.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah. Listen into the fucking Stripes. What is it called? The Strokes? The Monks? The Rippers?

MARCUS PARKS

All of them. But after taking a hit from Eddie's freebase pipe, you might be invited to partake in one of Eddie's favorite pastimes, Russian roulette.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That is also real, dude.

ED LARSON

Wow, wow.

MARCUS PARKS

Although partaking usually meant you just watched Eddie do it to himself while all of you were out of your fucking minds high.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

In many ways, well yeah, you should be glad it's not you. But that's kind of almost worse. You do a bunch of drugs and you just watch the guy who owns the house and he's just being like (singing) la, la, la, la, la la. He's like skipping around the house and then click. And then he does the 'you should see your fucking faces, man.' You're all fucking freaked out.

MARCUS PARKS

That's what's so incredible about the Eddie Nash part in Boogie Nights. Because they distill everything that is Eddie Nash into like six minutes.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

ED LARSON

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

It's just like should I do it? Should I do it?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Should I do it?

MARCUS PARKS

And then no, no, no, no, no, no. And then he fucking just moves on to the next thing.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You fucking guys. Cause he's like laughing that them being like you guys are all fucking scared and shit, that's hilarious.

ED LARSON

He's a showman. You come to Eddie's house, you get a show.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He's a comedian.

ED LARSON

There's fireworks, there's gunplay. Whips.

MARCUS PARKS

Eddie however would involve new guests in a game that they didn't even know they were playing. When a new girl, guy, or whoever was brought to Eddie's place, he'd sometimes make them go to a room and sit on a couch. Before them strewn across a coffee table were literal piles of cocaine and jewelry in addition to large wads of cash. In front of them was a large mirror. That mirror was of course two way.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Here you go, I'm gonna leave you with my kids. I'm gonna go powder my nose.

MARCUS PARKS

Once the new guest was sat down, Eddie would watch from the other side of the glass for hours waiting to see what they took if anything.

ED LARSON

Goddamn.

MARCUS PARKS

And that was his way of assessing the guest. But thankfully there was no penalty if you took anything, you were just asked to leave.

ED LARSON

Yeah, yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Hey buddy, that's fucking rude.

ED LARSON

I mean before he shuts the door, just be like do you mind if I do some coke? Like just ask.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I passed the test.

MARCUS PARKS

As far as how Eddie and John Holmes hooked up, they met at one of Nash's nightclubs, The Seven Seas, which is now a souvenir shop called the Hollywoodland Experience located across the street from Grauman's Chinese Theater.

ED LARSON

I bought an Oscar of Best Piggy.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Is that real?

ED LARSON

No, no. But they have all the Oscars there.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

ED LARSON

Best Grandpa, stuff like that.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, yeah. Best Piggy. Merch, there you go.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Thank you.

MARCUS PARKS

Well as the story goes, John was at the Seven Seas to obtain information on a porno shoot in San Francisco from someone that one of our sources, 'The Devil and John Holmes', called the Lavender Hill Mob. Now the only Lavender Hill Mob we could find was a gay activist group from the mid 80s that did a lot of good work. So I think the writer was just trying to distastefully and kind of cheekily suggest that John was there to meet a gay porn producer.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He very well, yeah. Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. John did a lot of gay of gay porn.

ED LARSON

That's how they used to describe it like back in like, what was it, the Maltese Falcon. When Peter Lorre played that gay character. They couldn't call him gay but they always said he smelled like lavender.

MARCUS PARKS

Right, right, right.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was code.

ED LARSON

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. And the Lavender Hill Mob was also a movie from the 40s. It was all kinds of lavender going around. But yeah, that is to say he was definitely there for gay porn. But anyway-

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Or as my mom used to say, happy and lighthearted.

MARCUS PARKS

By the way, the producer never showed up. But while John was waiting, he was recognized by Eddie Nash who was of course a big fan of John's work.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You're the cock guy! That's the cock guy! Oh my god! It's the fucking cock guy! Oh my god. Let me just ask, let me ask. How are your balls? Come on, everyone asks about the cock. Not to step on any toes.

MARCUS PARKS

Naturally, Eddie liked showing off John at his clubs and Eddie also supplied John with free cocaine in exchange for introductions to porn actresses.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Sometimes John would even pimp out his underage girlfriend Dawn to Eddie, telling him that Dawn was his niece from Oregon. She's in town. He would say-

ED LARSON

Doesn't make it better.

MARCUS PARKS

No.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No.

MARCUS PARKS

No, god no. Because John had this weird thing where-

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

If only Eddie was like actually that makes some sense. Yeah, of course you are.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, a niece from Oregon. Oh yeah, of course, yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, yeah, of course, yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. He would tell Eddie Nash that Dawn was like yeah, she's in nursing school, she's visiting here from Oregon. Yeah, you can have her. But at the same time, John would also talk to Eddie Nash about it, like my precious Dawn, my precious Dawn. So there was a weird disconnect in John Holmes' brain and when it came to Dawn and pimping her out essentially. Not essentially.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes.

MARCUS PARKS

Explicitly.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Explicitly pimping her out.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, explicitly pimping her out. He pimped her out to a multitude, multiple people.

ED LARSON

She's like one of the few people in his life that was actually good to him.

MARCUS PARKS

She was the only person.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Good to him. She was a hostage.

MARCUS PARKS

Well his first wife-

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

She was his hostage.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And his first wife took care of them, yeah, exactly. No, John Holmes is not a nice guy.

ED LARSON

No, no.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. By this time she's like 17.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. Now John Holmes would later refer to Eddie Nash as evil incarnate again and again. But he also said that he and Nash called each other, they were brothers.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh sure, sure, sure.

MARCUS PARKS

Always brothers.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's what happens when you do hours and hours of freebasing with each other. You get overly familiar.

MARCUS PARKS

Yes. It's again the scene in Boogie Nights with Heather Graham and Julianne Moore in the room doing cocaine together for hours upon hours and they're like let's go for a walk. I don't want to leave this room! I don't either! Like it's that shit, you know?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

But the thing about John Holmes and Eddie Nash is it seemed like John Holmes was Eddie Nash's friend just so long as Nash's psychotic behavior didn't splash over to John.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Sure. Yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He had kind of a fun idea of a friend.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

For a second.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, for a bit.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But in reality, very bad.

MARCUS PARKS

Not in the long term. Now since John Holmes was close with both the Wonderland Gang and Eddie Nash, he began working as a middleman between the two dealers. This of course was the connection that set the events in motion that would result in the Wonderland Massacre.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But this is what we talked about last week. Do you remember the theme of this entire series is that freebasing cocaine for days and days and years on end will eventually affect your decision making process.

MARCUS PARKS

It will.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

This is not a sober idea.

MARCUS PARKS

No. You don't really think things through.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

ED LARSON

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

See when it came to purchasing drugs, Eddie would take most anything valuable in exchange for cocaine or heroin. He would take gold, jewelry, guns, whatever. And as it happened, the Wonderland Gang had just come into possession of three extremely valuable and unique antique handguns valued at $75,000. That's $75,000 in 1981 money.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah but this is not shit you could take to like a normal like fencing operation. This is like Antique Roadshow shit. This is like Smithsonian shit.

MARCUS PARKS

This is auction shit.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

And that's what Eddie knew. He knew that these guns were so unique that if he even tried to resell them, if the cops caught wind, they're coming straight for Eddie Nash and his whole fucking operation falls apart.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

But at this point, the Wonderland Gang was critically low on heroin. They therefore pushed John to make a plea to Eddie because Eddie had a soft spot for John Holmes. Nash agreed to hold the guns. He kind of did a favor for John.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No, never. It's never a favor.

ED LARSON

It's too late at this point.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes.

MARCUS PARKS

He agreed to hold the guns and some gold for seven days while advancing the Wonderland Gang $1000 for heroin so they could sell the heroin to make money to buy more heroin.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That is the Nigerian prince scam. That is the same thing. Being like you don't worry, that's as good as money.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Now as I'm sure all of you listeners are right now, John Holmes was somewhat confused by this nonsensical deal. But from what I can tell, it seems like it's kind of a pawn shop situation, right.

ED LARSON

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

It's like Eddie holds onto the guns as collateral and then once the Wonderland Gang pays back the grand after they sell the heroin, then they get the guns back.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Ed, do you feel like when you were... Because you did light weed stuff, businessing.

ED LARSON

I sold weed in Tallahassee, Florida. Everyone went to jail already. We can talk about it.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Now did you ever barter?

ED LARSON

Barter? No. But like you'd get in situations where people would give you weed or whatever and they'd want you to be in debt to them.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh sure.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

ED LARSON

Because that's when they can really milk it and they can fucking bring up how much you owe and they want to give it to a junkie who's gonna do it because then they could just milk the guy for all of time.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh god.

ED LARSON

And so it's good business to do that, you know?

MARCUS PARKS

Well actually Eddie did not want to really do it because he didn't want to get into business with heroin addicts.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No.

MARCUS PARKS

That was his rule-

ED LARSON

Okay.

MARCUS PARKS

Was that he didn't want to get into business with heroin addicts because heroin addicts could kill you for a fix.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You know what it is? He's like literally on a fucking roof like dangling back and forth, playing basketball on the rim of the building. Just being like the thing about heroin addicts is that honestly they're unreliable.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

ED LARSON

Well the one guy we had to deal with that was unreliable, he also dealt coke, and he would often try to pay for his weed in coke. And we'd be like no, we don't need that much coke, we need the money.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

The coke is not helping.

ED LARSON

But I was the only one that could actually get a good deal out of this guy because his name was X, so I think that's what I'm allowed to say. And X used to be the weed guy for George Clinton.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh wow.

ED LARSON

And then he got mad because I gave the whole P-Funk guys a better price and so they left X and he started coming to me. And then one time he was being really shady, like pretending to be George's son and shit. He was being real super shady. So I was like hey, you know, this is my gun.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Jesus Christ. And then you started doing sketch comedy.

ED LARSON

Yeah. In the middle of all of this.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

ED LARSON

In the middle of...

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Wow.

ED LARSON

That's how I met you fuckers.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, I know. Yeah, you were my weed dealer first. Then roommate. And then comedy partner.

ED LARSON

Yeah, yeah. But you know, you show him the gun, you unload it, you hand it to him be like look, this is my gun. And then whenever he comes over, whenever you get the shady guys coming over, you put the weed in a different place. Like you keep it in your underwear drawer, when he comes over, you pull it out from the fridge.

MARCUS PARKS

Of course.

ED LARSON

You know, stuff like that, you know. But it's a slippery slope.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It really is.

ED LARSON

No matter what, for all that shit, it's never if you get caught its wet.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh of course.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. Of course.

ED LARSON

And like we were doing great and we were doing better than anyone in Tallahassee but it all came crashing down.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Of course.

ED LARSON

In a much more friendly way than this. But I could see where when you are dealing with large sums of money and crazy people, like Eddie Nash types you stay away from.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Very much so.

MARCUS PARKS

Yes.

ED LARSON

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Never get to the top dog.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. Eddie Nash wasn't even close to the top dog.

ED LARSON

Yeah, I know.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He was still even just a minor boss in all of this fucking shit. That was just his fun times.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He was a business owner.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

ED LARSON

Of multiple businesses.

MARCUS PARKS

I mean really drug dealing was like his hobby.

ED LARSON

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's what he did for the passion.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

ED LARSON

He probably washed a lot of money for a lot of people with all those businesses.

MARCUS PARKS

Oh of course, yeah.

ED LARSON

Especially with that punk rock venue. I mean I bet it made on the books, I bet it made like $100,000 a month.

MARCUS PARKS

I bet. It had to have, yeah. It had to have. Now of course the whole guns for cash for heroin and then selling the heroin and giving the cash back, that's not at all what happened.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Instead of selling the heroin, the Wonderland Gang did the heroin.

ED LARSON

Oh fuck.

MARCUS PARKS

And once that was gone, they started robbing people to continue feeding their habit little by little, saving none of the money for Eddie Nash. Now days turned into weeks with no repayment.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

God, it's just feel the tension, just feel it.

MARCUS PARKS

But that's the thing is that none of it came from Eddie Nash.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No, I know. He like forgot.

MARCUS PARKS

He'd forgotten about it, $1000 means nothing to him.

ED LARSON

Nothing.

MARCUS PARKS

Like nothing at all.

ED LARSON

That's an hour of coke.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes.

MARCUS PARKS

And in a drug-fueled chain of conversation, the Wonderland Gang convinced themselves that Eddie Nash had sold their guns and was keeping all the cash. Like they had somehow created a situation in which they were the wronged ones, they were the victims here.

ED LARSON

Yes. Always.

MARCUS PARKS

Now John Holmes communicated the Wonderland Gang's anger back to Eddie but Eddie Nash wasn't worried, he didn't care about any of it. He didn't care about the threats. He said they don't even know where I live. Unless of course you were to tell them where I live, John.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

(uneasy laughter)

ED LARSON

What? No! I didn't even think about it! I'm your buddy!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

This is where John Holmes enters into his professional snitch stage.

ED LARSON

Well he snitched before, right?

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, he'd been snitching for a while but this is when he turned-

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

The big leagues. The big leagues.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. When snitching turns to murdering.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

ED LARSON

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. And as you may have already guessed, that's exactly what happened. Now there's some debate as to why John Holmes gave up Eddie Nash's location to the Wonderland Gang. But according to one source, John had taken a cocaine delivery for himself and freebased it.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Fucking good lord.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I mean I just...

MARCUS PARKS

What did he think was gonna happen?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Have a coffee. Is there a coffee? Some Tylenol? I don't know, man. I know it only lasts for a period of time but it's like, because you know it's all like you're doing it and it feels good for a second and you're like ah. And then that feeling, even thinking about this puts a pit in my stomach.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Of like it's all gone, the cocaine you were just about to bring. And then the 15 minutes of you being high is over. And that feeling of just oh no.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

What do I do now? And then you just constant scramble for it.

MARCUS PARKS

Well this caused a problem with Wonderland Gang members Billy DeVerell and Ronnie Launius who were, if you'll remember, both murderers and desperate drug addicts.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, they're just as crazy. His home team is just as crazy as the other guy he's running all this for.

ED LARSON

Yeah but one has a yacht and the other one's got a rowboat.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Exactly.

MARCUS PARKS

Well after beating John as a precursor to something much worse, Ronnie told John that he had to quote unquote "make this right". And John, being the coward that he was, immediately thought about his friend Eddie Nash, the Wonderland Gang's increasing vendetta, and all the valuables contained within Eddie's house.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh no, no, no, no. It should have been the last thought. I would have been like small business loan! We do a GoFundMe!

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

ED LARSON

You know like some part of him was thinking maybe Eddie would just fucking kill these people too.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You know what? That's actually, I bet you at some point-

MARCUS PARKS

I hadn't even thought about that but yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Maybe I'll just feed them to this guy, I'll feed them to Eddie.

ED LARSON

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Eddie will make short work of these guys, like you can't beat Eddie.

MARCUS PARKS

But on the other hand, John also needed the money because he'd just made that documentary Exhausted and he hadn't paid the editors yet. And unless he paid the editors, it's that fucking scene in Boogie Nights. We need the tapes to take tot the record company so we can get the deal! And then we'll come back and we'll pay you for the tapes! But we cant pay for the tapes until we get the record deal!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

God, I am sweating. This whole thing is so fucking nerve wracking.

MARCUS PARKS

So John agreed to give up Eddie Nash's location under the condition that he would get a cut and nobody would get hurt. And so on the evening of June 28, 1981, the Wonderland Gang gathered around their breakfast nook to study blueprints of Eddie Nash's house that John either procured from the city or drew up himself from memory.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Like they're fucking Ocean's Eleven.

ED LARSON

I'm gonna go ahead and guess he drew them up.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Okay, okay, okay. Let me see if I remember, see if I remember. Okay, I know there's a door.
And I know there's a couch. And I know there's a lot of cocaine. Like you could just see them all just kind of going back and forth and just being like you know what we need? We need a small guy that could fit in a tiny elevator.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

What are you talking about, buddy?

MARCUS PARKS

By this point, John had extensive knowledge of not only the layout of the house itself but where all of Eddie Nash's valuables and weapons were stored, namely they were in the goddamn safe in the goddamn bedroom.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, it's good.

ED LARSON

It's good. Good Thomas Jane.

MARCUS PARKS

But if you'll remember... Whatever happened to him?

ED LARSON

He does little things here and there.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Apparently he's a jerk.

ED LARSON

Oh. Who would have figured?

MARCUS PARKS

But if you'll remember, Eddie Nash also had a massive karate expert bodyguard around him at all times, Gregory Diles.

ED LARSON

Yeah. Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Now while Diles wasn't always armed, he did keep a sawed off shotgun in his bedroom at Nash's place. He lived there.

ED LARSON

Of course.

MARCUS PARKS

He was always around.

ED LARSON

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

But to make up for the presence of Gregory Diles, the Wonderland Gang added another guy to the crew, an ex-con named David Lind was gonna be the one with the gun covering Eddie and Diles while Ronnie and Billy would ransack the house.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You see again, we don't want to help the audience commit crimes. But if you are going to, like let's say if you want to do a big mass heist.

ED LARSON

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

My thing I would say is use other people that have just as much to lose as you that aren't brand new.

ED LARSON

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Don't bring in just some extra guy.

MARCUS PARKS

Well they knew him.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, they knew him but let's just say like... I still feel like he was extra.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. But I mean who are you gonna use? John? You can't.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I guess you can't, I guess.

ED LARSON

Just use a chick.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

ED LARSON

Bring a dog.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Honestly that would help.

MARCUS PARKS

So the first plan that the Wonderland Gang came up with was to send John to the front door. Then once Nash's door was open, the Wonderland Gang would just bum rush and take control immediately.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah.

ED LARSON

Classic.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

So your plan was get him?

MARCUS PARKS

Get him!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

This is of course fucking stupid.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

And would likely end in a shootout with multiple fatalities.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. Instead John suggested that he'd go over there to party and unlock the back door so the gang could take Nash by surprise in the early morning hours. This was the plan agreed upon. So John was sent to Eddie's house that night at midnight. They're like fuck it, we got the plan, we're doing it right now. They gave him $400 to buy drugs and then John smoked those drugs at Nash's place over the following six hours.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And I really feel like he should have been sitting in meditation, thinking about what he needed to do here, centering himself, taking some time for John. But instead, I can't believe how irresponsible he's being the night before the heist.

ED LARSON

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. Doing drugs.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Doing drugs.

ED LARSON

You never do the drugs at the dealer's house. You do the dealer's drugs at the dealer's house and you take your drugs that you bought and you do them at home.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Eddie Nash was a little bit smarter than that.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. Well I mean-

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It was a drug restaurant.

ED LARSON

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Well yeah. Well that's what you do the first, I don't know, two dozen times you come to Eddie's house.

ED LARSON

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

and then after that Eddie starts to get wise to your game.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah. Because he'd just kick people in and out. You eventually you were not allowed to come in. You'd be able to party for a while but that's also what was kind of weird about it was that he was oddly... Not forgiving, but he was oddly just being like what we said before, he wouldn't just immediately shoot you in the head.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Which is kind of nice.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. And I hung out with a coke dealer once who like... Even just hanging out with that guy, like there was a limit. Where like we went over to his place-

ED LARSON

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

We started doing coke and then at one point he was like hey guys, just gotta be honest with you. You gotta start paying now. He's like we can keep hanging out, I like hanging out with you guys. Y'all are fun. But like you gotta start paying for your cocaine.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Wow.

MARCUS PARKS

Okay. And we did.

ED LARSON

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's called fiscal responsibility.

MARCUS PARKS

And that was the last time I ever did cocaine.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Why? Because it was going to start costing you money?

ED LARSON

That was also my cocaine rule. I'm not paying for it.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

ED LARSON

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

That's a good rule. Now I paid for it that night, it was just such a weird, scuzzy, scummy night.

ED LARSON

Oh yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

And it wasn't even like in New York, it was in Lubbock.

ED LARSON

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

It was such a weird, scummy, scuzzy, awful, awful night that after that I was like you know what? I don't need to be in this scene no more.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I'm just so glad.

ED LARSON

It's so crazy what you just end up in with drugs.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

ED LARSON

Like in Tallahassee I had to deal with this guy named Z and he was selling coke. We go over to his house, he throws two fucking phone books on the floor and then shoots them.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's his game.

ED LARSON

And it's like you live on the second floor!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was his game, he was having fun. He was trying to relax, I think.

MARCUS PARKS

Now John claimed that he felt a bit of remorse over the plan while he was partying with Eddie Nash that night. And he claimed that he tried warning Eddie that the Wonderland Gang was coming for him. But since Eddie was on day 10 by John's estimate of a no sleep binge, he didn't really process what John was telling him.

ED LARSON

He wanted Eddie to kill these motherfuckers.

MARCUS PARKS

Or he never said anything.

ED LARSON

That's true.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

ED LARSON

This is all recanting from... I forget that this all probably lies.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah. Everything from John Holmes' mouth-

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Is probably a lie.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

We'll deeper unpack it.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. And so when all the coke that John had bought was smoked out of existence, John excused himself to go to the bathroom. But instead he unlocked the sliding glass door in the back bedroom.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

What if his body was in the bathroom but his cock unlocked the door? Just snaking around, being like-

ED LARSON

Why is my door covered in piss?

MARCUS PARKS

Don't say it!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Go, be swift now. Go. Fly, you fools!

MARCUS PARKS

Well John left just as the sun was coming up and arrived back at the Wonderland house to tell the gang it's fucking time to go, boys. Problem was though the Wonderland Gang was heroin addicts. So they'd spent all night doing heroin and they'd all nodded off.

ED LARSON

Wrong drug.

MARCUS PARKS

It took John two hours to wake them up. But once they did rise and shine, they sent John back to Eddie's house to make sure that the back door was still unlocked, following behind him in a shitty Ford Granada that was supposed to be the getaway car. And so after John snuck around to the back to confirm that the door was still unlocked, he yelled, quote:

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

(echoing) "It's time! Go get them, boys!"

ED LARSON

Jesus.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yep.

ED LARSON

Anything. Bark like a dog. Anything.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

(echoing) It's time to rob Eddie Nash now!

MARCUS PARKS

And that's him, that's what he said he did. (echoing) It's time! Soon after, the gang entered the house and found Eddie and his bodyguard Gregory Diles in the living room.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

They're in love. Gregory Diles and Eddie Nash were like in love with each other in many ways.

MARCUS PARKS

I think they had a very comfortable domestic situation.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, they were like kind of a married couple. Gregory Diles would like make him breakfast and shit.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And they'd hang out and they'd eat on the veranda and have a nice time.

ED LARSON

It's like living with a friendly karate bear.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You know what it is, Gregory? There's just something about your gut that comforts me. I just love being near you and goddamnit if you weren't my wife, I'd treat you like one.

MARCUS PARKS

I'd describe him as more like a nurse who's willing to kill.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

God, I wish. That's all I want.

MARCUS PARKS

Well unfortunately for Diles though, when the Wonderland Gang rushed in, he was carrying a little tray. It didn't say what was on the tray, it was either drugs or it might have been Eddie's breakfast.

ED LARSON

Yeah, yeah. You know he had nice stuff, like a nice silver platter.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Oh yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

With a little flower in a vase on it and a waffle with a smiley face drawn in fucking cocaine on it. Just being like that's how he likes it, a nice friendly waffle. Eddie, wake up, Eddie.

MARCUS PARKS

Well Eddie was of course caught unawares on his couch wearing only blue bikini briefs.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Ugh. That's my father's entire uniform for my entire childhood.

MARCUS PARKS

Wow.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And I remember how many times he had to be told, especially if my sister's friends were coming over, that he had to put pants on.

MARCUS PARKS

Yep. Same here.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Oddly enough-

ED LARSON

My father also only wore underwear but we just let him do it.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah. What are you gonna do?

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. What are you gonna do? Oddly enough, the Wonderland Gang entered pretending to be the police, flashing a stolen San Francisco police badge while shouting freeze! Police! You're under arrest!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Hold it right there, mister!

ED LARSON

Ignore my track marks, I'm a cop!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Police officer, no uniform here.

MARCUS PARKS

That really didn't seem all that necessary because David Lind, the new guy in the group, he was holding a massively imposing .357 magnum.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Get in the goddamn bedroom.

MARCUS PARKS

Goddamn bedroom. Now Nash was brought to his knees immediately while Diles was made to lay on the floor so he could be handcuffed. He was so massive however that they couldn't get the handcuffs to fit.

ED LARSON

There we go!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Too fat to arrest.

ED LARSON

God, I love this. What a hero.

MARCUS PARKS

This comedy of errors continued when Billy DeVerell went to help but tripped and fell into David Lind. And David Lind, who probably didn't have the best trigger discipline, accidentally fired the gun.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Jesus.

ED LARSON

Oh Jesus.

MARCUS PARKS

Now the bodyguard wasn't technically shot but the .357 was held close enough to his body and the discharge was so powerful that it caused powder burns that were deep enough to cause bleeding.

ED LARSON

Damn!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Because you know he's there being like I'm shot, boss! I'm shot, boss! And it has to feel like you're all just total insanity.

ED LARSON

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. Finally though the gang got the handcuffs over the meaty wrists of Gregory Diles. Then they threw a rug over his head so he couldn't see what was happening. I don't know why. I don't know why they're like...

ED LARSON

Quick, get the rug! Throw it over his head!

MARCUS PARKS

He's already in HANDCUFFS.

ED LARSON

All right, next!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

In many, many ways, bodyguards are like canaries. If we just put it, listen to me, listen. This isn't the heroin. He will go to sleep.

ED LARSON

(snoring)

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

See? I fucking knew they'd use his one weapon against him!

MARCUS PARKS

Well with the bodyguard out of the picture, they took Nash to his bedroom and told him that they wanted the goddamn code to the goddamn safe. Now Nash refused at first but when the barrel of the gun was forced into his mouth, he fucking broke. He started sobbing and he told them immediately what the code was.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah, oh yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Now for a bunch of drug addicts, the haul contained in the safe was incredible. Inside were two massive Ziploc bags of cocaine-

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Wow.

MARCUS PARKS

A ton of jewelry, a pile of cash, and thousands of quaaludes in a cash box that was no doubt bound for The Starwood box office.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You know if I saw that amount and I was about to rob somebody, I feel like just the amount alone would be like oh no.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Like this might be too much.

ED LARSON

But you've already started. It's already going.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Here's some advice to our listeners. If you find yourself in this scenario, leave half.

MARCUS PARKS

Leave half?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Just leave some.

ED LARSON

You think so? I say just move to Cleveland.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Well in Cleveland they're gonna find you. He's going to find you no matter what, so let's say leave half and maybe he won't be as mad.

ED LARSON

It doesn't... No, you still die.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

ED LARSON

You still die. They're already dead at this point.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. You just take it.

ED LARSON

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

further searching the house, they found a laboratory vial full of heroin in Eddie's dresser, Gregory's shotgun in his bedroom, and of course the antique guns that had started this fucking mess in the first place.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Don't you touch my fucking muskets!

MARCUS PARKS

Still not happy though, Ronnie Launius, who if you'll remember had 30 possible unsolved homicides under his belt when he died, he held a hunting knife to Gregory's throat, demanding to know where the rest of the heroin was. But even as Ronnie began to draw blood, Gregory refused to tell him, possibly because there was no more fucking heroin.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

ED LARSON

Or a rug over his head. You take a rug off my head, I'll tell you everything you want to know. It's a trick.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's a trick.

MARCUS PARKS

It was at this point though that the rest of them told Ronnie that they had more than enough. So they escaped to their shitty Ford Granada which took them back to the Wonderland house five minutes away. Five minutes away.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Job done.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

ED LARSON

Base. I'm back at base.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Let's start our day.

MARCUS PARKS

The whole thing was over and done with by 10 AM. And of course John Holmes was waiting back at the Wonderland house almost giddy with excitement to see what the haul was and therefore how big his cut was gonna be. See the agreement beforehand was that the three guys who went in to pull off the robbery would take 25% each, while John and the driver would split the last quarter.

ED LARSON

Okay.

MARCUS PARKS

Pretty standard for a robbery. Predictably though, the Wonderland Gang ignored John when they returned and walked right past him to the back bedroom to take stock of the loot. This had of course been a last minute change to the plan because between the house and the getaway car, the three robbers decided to short both John and the getaway driver.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Classless. Utterly. Where's the respect?

MARCUS PARKS

No respect for the game.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Is this a goddamn... It's a blunder squad. Like these guys are all... I mean the one relief that we have about this whole grizzly scene is that all of these guys are unrepentant moron criminals. Like this is one of these, just the constant fuckery between each other. It's so funny, even John Holmes would even like believe that they would all be cool.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

There's an inability to kind of learn here.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

To kind of absorb a lesson.

MARCUS PARKS

There really is. And that's the thing is that nobody-

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's freebasing cocaine.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I think it's really hurting a lot of the being present in the moment.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

ED LARSON

Yeah, he kind of skipped through all the dotted I's and crossed the T's.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I'm a broad strokes guy.

MARCUS PARKS

Well nobody at Wonderland liked or respected John anymore. I mean he'd gone from being a hip pornstar in the beginning, then he was just a big dick party trick, John, show them your dick. And by the time of the robbery, he was seen as a pathetic thief and a drug addict who'd sell out his friend at the first sign of trouble.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I mean he just did.

MARCUS PARKS

He did.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He just did it with Eddie Nash. All he's ever done.

MARCUS PARKS

He's gonna do it to you, that's the thing.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

In all, they'd come away with 8 lbs of cocaine, 8 lbs, 5000 quaaludes, a kilo of China white heroin, $10,000 in cash, and jewelry worth $150,000.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Jesus fucking Christ.

ED LARSON

Good lord.

MARCUS PARKS

And out of all that, they gave John Holmes $3000 and a little pinky ring.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And he wouldn't know either way, he wouldn't even know.

MARCUS PARKS

Well no. Yeah, he knew. He said there was way more at Eddie Nash's house than that. And when he complained, they punched him in the stomach and beat him with a walking stick.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

As he deserved.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

ED LARSON

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

As he deserved.

ED LARSON

Do you think that it's possible they could have beat him with his own penis?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I actually think Eddie will do that later on.

MARCUS PARKS

Now Eddie Nash didn't immediately figure out that John Holmes had been the facilitator in the robbery. Since John had been the middleman between Nash and the Wonderland Gang, Eddie didn't know what the Wonderland Gang looked like. So he didn't even know that it was the Wonderland Gang.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Look for long hair! Shitty, dumb shoes! Bad shirts! I don't fucking know.

MARCUS PARKS

He'd probably also forgotten that John had told him just a few hours earlier that the Wonderland Gang was coming for him. But that's if John actually did mention it as he claims he did.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It shows that he didn't.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Because I really do believe that Eddie Nash would remember distinctly-

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That he was told that the Wonderland Gang was coming for him. I feel like after all that happened, he'd wake up and be like oh yeah, that's right.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

ED LARSON

Yeah but you're also on so much drugs you just think it's like the fucking Walrus that eats all the oysters and Tweedledee Tweedledum.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I'm not dealing with these fucking card people! You mean to tell me there's walking playing cards up there?! I hate gambling.

MARCUS PARKS

Two days later though, I mean this is just the dumbest shit, this is the fucking dumbest shit, John Holmes ran into Gregory Diles at the liquor store.

ED LARSON

What?

MARCUS PARKS

And immediately Diles noticed that John was wearing one of Eddie Nash's very distinctive stolen rings.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It probably had like an E and an N in diamonds on it.

MARCUS PARKS

It didn't take him but a second to put two and two together.

ED LARSON

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

It's just boom, bam, there it is. And from the liquor store, Gregory Diles walked into Eddie Nash's house dragging John Holmes by his stupid white boy afro in the midst of a party. And since Eddie was known to kill anyone who crossed him, John figured that this was his last night alive.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

God, just bringing it into this house. You open up this house, you're like this is it.

ED LARSON

He made it!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh of course.

ED LARSON

He was fine.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He was fine.

ED LARSON

Why are you wearing the ring?

MARCUS PARKS

Why wear the ring?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Because well let's just say I don't think it was gonna be for long.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I don't think he was going to be fined for very long because there's many theories of what went down in this last couple, this little section of John Holmes' life.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And I think we'll get there.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. Well this party, it wasn't up to Eddie's usual standards because he'd just had 8 lbs of coke stolen from him.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Sorry, guys, we had a bit of a supply line issue today. You know, like he's talking like it's the beginning of COVID.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

ED LARSON

So he hired an illusionist.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Just shooting at his feet. Quit fucking lying to me!

MARCUS PARKS

In other words, everyone was agitated while they were waiting for more coke to show up. Eddie had sent out a couple of cronies. And then the man responsible for the agitation just got literally dragged in the door.

ED LARSON

Damn.

MARCUS PARKS

One of those agitated people though, interestingly enough, was a man named Scott Thorson. Thorson was the live-in lover of Liberace and had been so since he was a teenager. As it was described, Thorson, who was nicknamed Boober by Liberace, was the famous singer's lover, pet, and son all rolled into one.

ED LARSON

Matt Damon.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Matt Damon.

MARCUS PARKS

Matt Damon, yes.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes.

MARCUS PARKS

Matt Damon in the movie.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Because Liberace was famously in the closet. Because my mom, I always remember it was like because Barry Manilow was very similar, where Liberace was always kind of painted as a man who just loved his mother.

ED LARSON

Yes.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And he loved his mother so much that he could never have room in his life for a wife. And I remember my mom talking about Barry Manilow, she's like you know what it is about Barry Manilow is that he's a bachelor and he writes these love songs because it's just so hard for him to just find a woman to settle down with. Because how could he choose?

MARCUS PARKS

When did your mama have these conversations with you?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Over and over again. This is her, as we listen to Barry Manilow, she's like you know Barry Manilow, he needs a wife. You can hear it in his songs. Just pontificating. She was in love with him.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

ED LARSON

Yeah, my mom was a Johnny Mathis woman.

MARCUS PARKS

Wow.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But Johnny Mathis, yeah, he's a strapping guy.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

ED LARSON

Yeah, he's a strapping guy. Liberace, the only guy who was in the closet and the closet had a chandelier.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Very good material.

ED LARSON

Thank you.

MARCUS PARKS

It's great material. Great material.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Very good.

ED LARSON

It's unusable except for this moment.

MARCUS PARKS

Well by 1981, Liberace and Thorson's relationship had gone beyond the realm of the bizarre. See a few years earlier, Liberace had ordered Thorson to get cosmetic surgery because Liberace was aging and Liberace wanted to preserve his own face on Thorson's face.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I've been trying to get Natalie to let me do this procedure to Wendy. Just again because I am aging.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Let's face facts, all right. I went and I got a facial for the first time. I've never had one of those before. And the woman, the first thing, she came down, she's mushing my fucking meat around. And she's like I can't help but notice I see you're losing elasticity. And I was like I'm gonna fucking snap. Literally yes, you're right. I am going to snap. And then it's true though. But yeah, so one day Wendy will look like me.

MARCUS PARKS

That's terrifying.

ED LARSON

Yeah. Well you know, also comforting.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yep. Shaving her. Completely shaving it.

ED LARSON

What are you talking about? You're hairy.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's true.

MARCUS PARKS

Well in order to get this procedure to put Liberace's face on his face, Thorson had to lose 30 lbs. So a crooked doctor prescribed Thorson a cocktail of drugs that included pharmaceutical cocaine. The procedure was kind of a success but Thorson was left hopelessly addicted as a result. And as it just so happened, when the bodyguard burst into Nash's house with Holmes, Eddie was in the bedroom freebasing with Scott Thorson.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Have you guys met Liberace's pet?

MARCUS PARKS

Well by the time Nash exited his room, Holmes had been sat down in a chair to await his fate. Now Eddie Nash alternated between screaming and sobbing.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You're fucking me up here, man! You're just fucking me up! I trusted you, my friend!

ED LARSON

I love you!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

(kissing sounds) I will fucking kill you. It's a great party.

MARCUS PARKS

And this is all in the middle of a party.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's in a party.

MARCUS PARKS

It's in the middle of a party.

ED LARSON

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

And Nash was so out of control that he pulled out his own .357 and he smacked John in the mouth with a barrel, he busted his lip. Searching John's pockets, Nash then found John's pocket address book and began flipping through pages and naming John's family members, threatening to hunt down and kill every single one of them.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I just need to find out how much it takes to build a fucking crucifix. I will... Oh, is this Nana? Is this Aunt fucking Nancy? Just like god, wow.

ED LARSON

Just ripping pages out, just being like dead.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Dead!

ED LARSON

Dead. That's very fucking intense, yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

It really was. Like yeah, who's this in Montana? Dead. This woman in Utah? Oh, that's your fucking mother? Dead. It's fucking incredible.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

A lot of pressure.

MARCUS PARKS

But that's like the movie scene.

ED LARSON

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

This is when it gets weird. He started like manically making phone calls to like old friends, business associates, even ex-girlfriends. He's switching from English to French to Arabic. He's telling everyone that he's holding the king of pornography, John Holmes, captive at his house. And Nash was telling people like Holmes fucked me over, if you want to come see the show, swing on by.

ED LARSON

Whoa!

MARCUS PARKS

He's here. Now John claims that for 14 hours, Eddie, Gregory, and even more bodyguards tortured him in a room just off the entryway as his hands were bound by electrical tape and blood poured out of his mouth.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I love this whole scene because it's just out of the movie Society.

MARCUS PARKS

By John's estimate, 60-70 people paraded by as all this was happening and not a one of them, even the people he knew, waved hello.

ED LARSON

No one said hi?

MARCUS PARKS

No one said hi. No one said hello.

ED LARSON

How you doing?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

John?

MARCUS PARKS

John, hello.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Hello. Hi.

ED LARSON

Nash got your tongue?

MARCUS PARKS

Here however is where things get murky. John of course gave up the Wonderland Gang. But after the torture was over, John claimed that Eddie gave him a direct order to return to Wonderland Avenue, saying quote:

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Bring me their eyeballs in a bag.

MARCUS PARKS

That's a pretty good line.

ED LARSON

That's pretty good.

MARCUS PARKS

Had John accomplished this, Eddie said, all would be forgiving.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's okay! It's just like that! That's it!

MARCUS PARKS

That's all you gotta do!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's all you gotta do!

MARCUS PARKS

That however is not what John told his wife Sharon. That's what John said in his autobiography. Now Sharon hadn't seen John for about three months by this point. But at 3:30 AM on July 2nd, the night of the Wonderland Murders, John Holmes showed up on her doorstep with his clothes ripped and his entire body covered in blood. Now John claimed at first that he'd been in a car accident. But when Sharon tried administering first aid, because if you'll remember she was a nurse, she found that he had no cuts or abrasions. This also refutes John's story that he was tortured.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It was more of like a theoretical car accident. You know what I mean? A philosophical car accident.

MARCUS PARKS

Most likely John gave up the Wonderland before he and Diles even left the fucking liquor store.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

This is our theory.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

ED LARSON

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Is that when he saw Diles and Diles was like is that Eddie's ring? He's like the Wonderland Gang is at 8673... Just immediately doing that.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Like they're right there. Honestly I bet you they're asleep right now.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And then they went back to the house and then he was just... I do think that some of the scene with Eddie Nash did happen. I do think like him ranting and raving.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

There being a bunch of people there. Scott Thorson technically backs it up, right.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. Scott Thorson does back that up at least.

ED LARSON

Oh okay.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes. He did go there but the idea of a parade of torturers, that the only way that John Holmes' will could ever have been bent to ever... How could he possibly snitch on his best friends? Those are my friends, my compatriots, my comrades.

MARCUS PARKS

No.

ED LARSON

Also pistol whipped by a .357, a skinny guy like that. He's out. Right there, yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

It's done.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's like getting hit with a police baton.

ED LARSON

Yeah, it's done right there.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. Well as Sharon later told it, John told her that he told Nash where the Wonderland Gang lived and how to get there. He just told her, yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah.

ED LARSON

I'll drive you down the street. 5 minutes!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You wouldn't believe how fast we got you back to our house after robbing you.

ED LARSON

Honestly take a bike.

MARCUS PARKS

Nash then sent John with three men over to the Wonderland house to get revenge and retrieve Eddie's loot. According to John, as one of Eddie's guys held a gun to John's head to make him watch, the other two made sure that the revenge murders were as brutal as possible by beating all but one person in the Wonderland house to death with steel pipes. The only one who survived did so only by the grace of god and still had such severe brain damage that she could never testify as to what happened that night.

ED LARSON

Woo!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That whole scene, it's really fucked up.

ED LARSON

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

If you watch, there's a whole walkthrough of the crime scene, these guys got like...

ED LARSON

It's horrifying.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's more than a hit. It's absolutely-

MARCUS PARKS

It's a message.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's utter revenge.

ED LARSON

To everybody.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes.

ED LARSON

To the entire city.

MARCUS PARKS

Yes. The Wonderland Gang had been so thoroughly beaten that the steel pipes' threading had been imprinted on their skin and even on their bones.

ED LARSON

Damn.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

On their bones!

MARCUS PARKS

On their bones! Their faces were completely unrecognizable and their heads had been bashed in with such fury that chunks of brain were stuck to the ceiling. There was so much blood that homicide detectives later described it as appearing as if someone had taken buckets of the stuff and thrown it all over the walls and carpets. The only evidence linking the crime to anyone was of course a bloody palm print left by John Holmes-

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Jesus fucking Christ.

ED LARSON

Wow.

MARCUS PARKS

In the room where Ronnie Launius' body was found.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Hey look at this, Detective Martinez. I see this kind of line in the carpet here, I'm pretty certain that's a cock trail.

MARCUS PARKS

Holmes however told an entirely different story in his autobiography.

ED LARSON

No way.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No way.

MARCUS PARKS

He said that Eddie Nash forced him to return to the Wonderland house after the murders to set him up for the massacre.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

John claims that he did what he was told and walked through the crime scene. And indeed his account of the crime scene in his autobiography is incredibly graphic. He said that a trail of blood led from the door to the master bedroom. And John claimed that when he walked in, a long shape was twisted in the sheets. The body was intact but the head was split open and the face was pulverized into a mush.

ED LARSON

Goddamn.

MARCUS PARKS

Based on the clothes and hair, John recognized that the body belonged to Ronnie Launius.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

My best friend.

MARCUS PARKS

My Ronnie!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That was my Ronnie.

ED LARSON

We'll never find out if he killed those 30 people.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I can't believe he committed suicide like this.

MARCUS PARKS

John then walked up the stairs where he found the owner of the home, Joy Miller, lying on the ground in the housecoat she always wore. This was the only thing that identified her because her face, as John put it, looked like it had gone through a shredder. As far as Billy DeVerell went, it appeared to John as if his brains had literally exploded. That's how hard he'd been hit. Nothing remained of anyone's head, this is how John wrote it.

ED LARSON

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

He said everyone's head was just slime.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Ugh.

ED LARSON

Goddamn.

MARCUS PARKS

He estimated everyone had been struck 40-50 times but I don't know what forensics John Holmes is pulling on to come to that number.

ED LARSON

Yeah. I actually believe him in this situation because he's not creative enough to like give a metaphor.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah. He didn't get a creative fiction doctorate.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

ED LARSON

So you think it was Giles that did this probably?

MARCUS PARKS

Diles.

ED LARSON

Diles, yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, yeah. You're thinking of J. Geils Band.

ED LARSON

Yes. Oh man.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He always is.

MARCUS PARKS

Most likely, yeah. Most likely it was Gregory Diles and like two other guys.

ED LARSON

Two other guys.

MARCUS PARKS

Cause Nash had guys.

ED LARSON

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah. Cause honestly also I wonder if... Gregory, I don't want you to get your hands dirty in all this, all right? You're my friend.

ED LARSON

They put a rug over my head!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I know. I know, okay? But you're my very, very mean butler, best friend, and husband. Okay? So we need to hold this together.

MARCUS PARKS

And it's also, Henry brought up this possibility too is that it's possible that they may have made John Holmes kill one of these guys or at least bash him in the face a few times.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

My theory is that at one point because he had a bloody handprint on a bed, right? And what it looked like was that he was bracing himself to probably strike something.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It was like literally it was a weight bearing thing, he was over a bed, over one of the victims.

MARCUS PARKS

Ronnie Launius.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's Ronnie Launius. So I think that what they did was that at some point they were like now you're gonna take a swing.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

They were probably all already dead.

ED LARSON

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And he's like now you're gonna do it, so now you directly are involved in this.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

ED LARSON

Or they just grabbed his fucking hand and put it in the blood and put it on the wall and said we're leaving.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, exactly. To frame you, literally being like we're gonna put this all on fucking you. We're gonna make it look like you are a serial killer and that you fucking had a freebasing breakdown and you killed all of your buddies in a scheme of your own.

MARCUS PARKS

Yup. Now it was an open secret amongst the LAPD vice squad that John Holmes was running drugs for the Wonderland Gang. But if you'll remember, John was protected because he'd been an informant for the pornography squad. Even after the murders though, John's contact was still reluctant to give him up, even though it had been years since he'd provided any information. It soon became obvious however that John was no longer the high rolling snitch that he once was. And see, the bodies were found by, of course, a guy who's coming to mow the lawn.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

These poor guys. It's always that.

MARCUS PARKS

It's always that.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's a jogger.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's always somebody who's literally getting too old for this shit.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That shouldn't have to be pulled into one last traumatic crime scene for the rest of their lives.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, he just looked in the window and saw a bunch of dead bodies and a bunch of blood. And they're trying to figure out, okay, like what connections do we have? Okay, this is the Wonderland Gang and one of them is like so I think I know a guy who runs drugs for these people. And that person ended up being John Holmes. So his contact tracked him down and handed him over to the two detectives in charge of what was now being called the Four on the Floor Murders.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh god, these cops fucking love this shit. Bob Souza and Tom Lange, they love this fucking shit.

ED LARSON

It's so uncreative.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. The Four on the Floor Murders?

ED LARSON

Yeah. You walk in, there's four people on the floor and... Come on.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Well I believe these are the same cops that wrote, let me make sure, 'Malice in Wonderland'. That were just so...

ED LARSON

Didn't one of them work with Fuhrman? Am I wrong?

MARCUS PARKS

Tom Lange.

ED LARSON

Tom Lange, yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Tom Lange.

ED LARSON

So he worked on this and OJ.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. Tom Lange was, yeah, one of the biggest detectives in the OJ case, yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's what's his putz, Tom Lange...

ED LARSON

That's fucking crazy.

MARCUS PARKS

How nuts is that, man?

ED LARSON

What a horrible... You can't solve shit!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He can't do anything. These guys are so too, this whole book 'Malice in Wonderland' is all just like again, it's the same guys that were like it's called 'Malice in Wonderland'.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Which is reflecting on Alice in Wonderland because also the name Wonderland. And it's all about how things were unfair, they were unfairly treated and how... You know, the city, that's the problem. The city held our hands-

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And we couldn't do our job. Cause all we wanna do is bust heads.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, of course. Now all this had occurred just before Independence Day. And right before the murders landed in their laps, of course these two horrible detectives, they joked like there's probably gonna be a fucking triple ax murder in the Hollywood Hills just to fuck up our fucking weekend.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I love it.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. And it did.

ED LARSON

Yeah?

MARCUS PARKS

Fucked up their weekend real bad.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh good.

MARCUS PARKS

They were now in charge of the biggest LA homicide case since the Manson murders. This thing blew up.

ED LARSON

Of course!

MARCUS PARKS

Now once John was brought into custody, he said that he was ready to lay out every illegal connection he knew about in the entire pornography industry.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I once met a guy from a bodega who was selling milk at $4 when it was supposed to be nationally priced to $2. What else do you need to know? What else can I... Who else can I flip on?

ED LARSON

Wasn't pornography legal at this point?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, it is.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It is legal.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, it's legal at this point.

ED LARSON

So he's got nothing.

MARCUS PARKS

Well no but it's still also like run by the mob in a lot of cases.

ED LARSON

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Like not in every case but it's a lot of mob money that's rolling through pornography. And he said he had information on mafia connections, money laundering operations in New York, Chicago, and Miami, mob related arsons. He said he knew of a former Chicago hitman who had retired to oversee porn productions in Los Angeles.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Just anybody who wasn't nailed down.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. The only thing that Holmes refused to talk about though was the Wonderland Massacre itself. And since everything else sounded like bullshit and there wasn't enough to charge John with the murders, they let him go. But as Detective Lange drove John to North Hollywood to pick up his impounded Malibu, Lange looked at him and asked him point blank, off the record, if Eddie Nash was the one who did it. And John just said yeah, Nash did it. And he said so with such sincerity that Detective Lange believed him.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah, I feel like in the end they already knew.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

ED LARSON

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

They knew.

MARCUS PARKS

They knew.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

They know what's going on here. And they needed his words so they could go fucking get the search warrant and go figure out all the bullshit.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. But it was one thing to say it to Lange and another to say it on the record. Definitely another to say it to a grand jury and definitely a different thing to testify to the fact at trial.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

John had no intention of sticking out his neck while Nash and his goons no doubt knew that John was talking to the police. But in what I think is the ballsiest move I think I've ever heard anyone make, John went back to Eddie's house-

ED LARSON

What?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Immediately after being arrested by the police, to ask for $1000.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You know, it just takes... Dick's too big. We brought this up last episode.

ED LARSON

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Dick's too fucking big.

MARCUS PARKS

It's too big.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

There is no reason for this level of confidence.

MARCUS PARKS

No.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

There is no fucking reason for him to think that he is remotely correct. And I guess it's the audacity, the straight audacity. They're all like literally-

ED LARSON

It was so crazy, they were like sure?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, I guess.

MARCUS PARKS

Kinda.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Really?

MARCUS PARKS

I mean Gregory Diles of course immediately dropped down to his knees, put a gun to his head. Eddie asked why shouldn't I blow your fucking brains out right now for talking to the cops? But John bluffed. He said I'm supposed to meet somebody, they know I'm here, I'm already late. If you kill me, they know that it's you who did it. And so fucking Eddie said fine, come back in an hour and look in the fucking mailbox. So John came back in an hour and in the mailbox, 500 bucks.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

ED LARSON

It's too nice.

MARCUS PARKS

Too nice.

ED LARSON

He's too nice.

MARCUS PARKS

For old times sake.

ED LARSON

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

It's definitely one of those things for old times sake.

ED LARSON

Mr. Romantic.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah. I guess actually in many ways, truly-

MARCUS PARKS

He is. He really is.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I also wonder if it's too far for John. John's fucked.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

As far as Eddie is concerned, John's fucked. We planted him at the scene, everybody knows. At this point like I'm actually fine.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Because I'm only tangentially connected by you, a freebasing moron that is like talking to all these people. I got here to this point of success in America by not being a fucking moron.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And I'm faced with one. So yeah, I'll give you fucking $500 because I've already fucked you.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Like this is already done.

MARCUS PARKS

And not only that but John was asking for this money so he could leave town.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Sure.

MARCUS PARKS

He's like man, just give me the money, you'll never see me again, No one will ever see me again. I'll never testify, The cops will never find me, so on and so forth.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Blah, blah, blah.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. And John used the money to skip the state of California with Dawn. Unfortunately Dawn's still in the picture at this point.

ED LARSON

Jesus!

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah, buddy.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. At this point, she had left and come back. It's a fucking horrible relationship.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

But that immediately put John on the FBI's '10 Most Wanted List' in regards to questioning over a quadruple homicide. Eventually the cops tracked John to a shitty motel in Miami and when he opened the door, he was still half pretending to be Johnny Wadd. He said, quote:

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I've been expecting you. Shithead.

MARCUS PARKS

What a fucking asshole.

ED LARSON

To the cops?

MARCUS PARKS

Yes, to the cops.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah, yeah. Technically that's what David Berkowitz said. How'd it take so long?

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, he said what took you so long?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

What took you so long?

MARCUS PARKS

Now John was tried for the Wonderland Murders but the only evidence against him was the bloody handprint above Ronnie's bed. They had to try to convict someone and John was all they had.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

But all the bloody handprint proved was that John was at the scene of the murder either during or after the act. And that was actually the argument they made. It's like yeah, he was there but why aren't the real perpetrators here? Why isn't Eddie Nash here? John was there, yeah. And yeah, he made some mistakes. He's not the best person. I wouldn't be friends with John Curtis Holmes! Neither would you! But does that make him a murderer?

ED LARSON

That's a great public defender. I imagine it was a public defender.

MARCUS PARKS

Definitely a public defender.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It actually turned out, for a long time, because we can't find the name of the guy, it turned out that the public defender was just his dick.

ED LARSON

In a suit?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

In a full suit.

MARCUS PARKS

In a suit.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And he had a log book.

MARCUS PARKS

Put a little afro on him. Yeah. Just like his own little afro, it's fun.

ED LARSON

Yeah, just always with an O face.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh! I too am surprised by these actions by John Holmes.

MARCUS PARKS

Well based on this reasoning and the paltry amount of evidence, Holmes was found not guilty.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Not guilty.

MARCUS PARKS

Not guilty. But even though his entire defense was Eddie Nash did it, Holmes refused to testify before a grand jury to that fact because he believed that his life and the lives of his family members would be in danger if he did so.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's a credible belief.

MARCUS PARKS

Yes.

ED LARSON

Yes.

MARCUS PARKS

Eventually though, Eddie Nash was arrested on drug charges. In fact he had three raids upon his house, every time turned up massive amounts of drugs, money, weapons. But Eddie was rich enough where he paid his bail every time.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yep.

ED LARSON

Goddamn.

MARCUS PARKS

What finally kept him in jail though were charges of racketeering, arson, and insurance fraud.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Insurance fraud is where they definitely get you.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

ED LARSON

That is where they get you.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Always, always. Tax evasion. Any of that.

ED LARSON

You think he made like an insurance claim on the raid?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's a business.

MARCUS PARKS

Assets.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's a business move.

MARCUS PARKS

During Eddie's drug trial, his lawyer actually tried claiming that the million dollars worth of coke in Eddie's house, it's not drug trafficking, that's for personal use.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I have a problem, okay? This is the whole thing, man. You're just arriving here in a whole fucking thing, dude.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

ED LARSON

I mean honestly, you hang out with him for a day and you could be convinced.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes.

MARCUS PARKS

Okay.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh wow.

MARCUS PARKS

He buys in bulk. Even during that trial, Eddie would sneak out to his car to freebase.

ED LARSON

Damn!

MARCUS PARKS

And then he'd take some quaaludes to calm himself down and then he'd go back to his trial.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You know what it really is? It's the rat race. I am sick of it. Just the idea of going into court high on cocaine and then I guesses slowed down by a quaalude in the middle of all of this shit.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I mean I don't know.

MARCUS PARKS

It's just altered.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

It's just where you can completely I guess ignore everything that's going on and just stare at the fucking table for the next six hours.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes.

ED LARSON

Yeah because you say anything you're fucked.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

ED LARSON

So you might as well.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

So you have to kind of put yourself into an inholding position.

ED LARSON

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. That's what they say, most defendants are given tranquilizers during the trial so they won't react to anything.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

ED LARSON

I'd want some fucking xanax.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, yeah. Eventually Eddie Nash was sentenced to eight years in prison for the drug charges, the racketeering, arson, all that shit. But after just two, his sentence was reduced and he was released as time served because he had a sinus tumor that needed to be removed. As the judge put it, quote:

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

"I wouldn't want to be operated on in San Quentin." Yes, it's terrible. Eddie, I love you. I need you to be doing well because honestly if you're not doing well, I'm not doing well.

MARCUS PARKS

Eddie Nash however completely turned his life around.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

He never returned to crime.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

At least he wasn't caught for it.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, yeah. At least he said he was reformed. Yeah, he was never caught again. Yeah. But he was also completely broke because his fortune had been wiped out by his daughter of all people who scammed him out of millions of dollars through this huge... I can't even get into it. It's a fucking massive scam all on its own. But Eddie eked out an existence for the time being.

ED LARSON

Wow.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah. It comes around.

ED LARSON

What happened to the Diles?

MARCUS PARKS

Diles, we'll get to Diles in a second.

ED LARSON

Okay, cool. Sorry, I don't wanna jump the gun.

MARCUS PARKS

No, it's fine. As far as Holmes went though, he served 11 months on an earlier theft charge plus 110 days for contempt for refusing to testify against Eddie Nash. The theft charge was he had stolen a computer typewriter worth $8000 and then a cop found it in his car and he told the cop that he found it in a dumpster.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

This guy is a... I just think he's not right.

MARCUS PARKS

No.

ED LARSON

He didn't even probably know it was a computer.

MARCUS PARKS

No, yeah. Absolutely not. Com-pu-ter?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Computer.

MARCUS PARKS

Well John Holmes was finally released in the early 80s with $100 and a Volkswagen Beetle that was given to him by his lawyer.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's a good lawyer.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. John used that Beetle to drive directly to the home of one of his old porn producers, Bill Amerson. Bill Amerson was actually the guy on whom the character of Jack Horner in Boogie Nights was based on, the character played by Burt Reynolds.

ED LARSON

Is that that big fat guy?

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, it's that big fat guy.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's that big fat guy.

MARCUS PARKS

Well John had worked with Bill quite a bit since John's introduction into the porn business in 1969. But they'd of course fallen out when John's drug habit blew up everything. But in the years since John had completely dropped out of the business, Bill Amerson had formed a production company called John Holmes Productions without John's knowledge or consent. Because porn performers were paid day rates, no matter how famous they were. They had no ownership over their work, their image, anything.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

There was no big deals.

MARCUS PARKS

No. No, no, no. But in a scene reminiscent to the conclusion of Boogie Nights, Bill still had a room waiting for John Holmes in his own house and therefore brought him back into the industry.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

He should have just... God. Just go buy a grocery store, go someplace else.

ED LARSON

Imagine trying to explain that to your wife.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

I'm back in, baby.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's John again. It's like yay.

MARCUS PARKS

John.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yay, John. Great.

MARCUS PARKS

Great. Yeah. And he's fresh off an acquittal on a murder charge.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, incredible. And he's like sweating a lot and he's coughing a lot. He doesn't look too good.

MARCUS PARKS

Now because the Wonderland Murders had been such a big news story, John Holmes had officially become a mainstream celebrity. So he used his notoriety as fuel to power a comeback right as the video cassette boom truly set pornography on the path to becoming a $12 billion industry. That's how much porn makes today. By 1983, John Holmes was actually sober. He stayed sober for the rest of his life and he'd moved in with a 19 year old porn actress named Misty Dawn whom he'd met while filming a porno called Flesh Pond.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Okay.

MARCUS PARKS

Which I'm sure was of the fine 'fuck her in the ass' variety.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah. From Boogie Nights.

ED LARSON

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. Eventually John and Misty would marry.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Aw. Yeah, exactly. You remember our audience. You can find love.

MARCUS PARKS

You can find love. Now it seemed like John's life was turning around but in the mid 80s, John Holmes contracted HIV right when the disease was starting to become known to the mainstream media. Now the company that John worked for had actually instituted a testing policy that everyone agreed to. This is actually much to the company's surprise because some porn actors at the time were refusing to be tested because they said it violated their civil rights.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Good lord.

MARCUS PARKS

And as it was, even those who got tested used fake names. John Holmes for example tested under the name... Guess the name.

ED LARSON

Peter North.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That would be incredible. That's how you do it. That's how you bury something.

MARCUS PARKS

I don't know. John Holmes is fine but I heard that Peter... Maybe we should be giving his work to John Holmes. No, Karl Marx.

ED LARSON

Oh great.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

ED LARSON

That kinda rules.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You know what's a good porn name though honestly? George Washington. We need to get that back in.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, George Washingstone.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

George Washingstone.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

ED LARSON

Did you ever hear about Rickey Henderson, his fake name?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

What?

ED LARSON

Whenever he would like check into a hotel. Because Rickey Henderson is very full of himself, a lot of cocaine.

MARCUS PARKS

Of course, yeah. Always talks about himself in the third person.

ED LARSON

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But whenever he checked into a hotel, his fake name was Richard Pryor.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's very funny.

ED LARSON

Because he thought that no one knew who Richard Pryor was.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's very funny.

MARCUS PARKS

Now John tested negative the first time he took an HIV test but he soon after started showing signs of infection. His ears began to bleed.

ED LARSON

What?

MARCUS PARKS

Which his doctors somehow blamed on John's years in the army.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, it turns out he was always allergic to tanks.

MARCUS PARKS

And his penis-

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's the problem really. It's a mortar, it's a mortar fever.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. And his penis would break out into a rash and bleed if he had sex long enough.

ED LARSON

Ugh.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Jesus fucking Christ. God.

MARCUS PARKS

Finally though, when everything in his body started falling apart, John tested again and came up positive, making John Holmes the first well-known person in the porn industry to be diagnosed with HIV. They say he was the first in the industry diagnosed with HIV but I am sure he was not the first. He was just the first they knew about.

ED LARSON

Yeah, he was the first that didn't go missing.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Yes.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And they made him the first for the story itself.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. Well the porn industry did not make him the first.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes.

MARCUS PARKS

Well according to Holmes' widow though, she believed that someone in the secret service injected John with an AIDS needle during a trip to Washington DC on the direct orders of Ronald Reagan in a bid to help destroy the porn industry from the inside out.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You know, honestly I would agree but it wasn't Ronald. It was Nancy. She's the one who does this. She's the one who had been doing that.

MARCUS PARKS

She had access to the needles.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes.

ED LARSON

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

She made up AIDS. She invented it at the White House. Her, the CIA, John Kennedy who didn't die.

MARCUS PARKS

But regardless, and arguably John's most cowardly move yet, his company released a statement that his bad health was caused by colon cancer. He kept performing in films with full knowledge that he had HIV. He made 12 more movies.

ED LARSON

I heard about this, yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

ED LARSON

No, what a lunatic. It might be the worst thing he did.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Well I don't know. It's between that and trafficking and the 15 year old girl.

ED LARSON

Yes.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah, it's between those two things.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

It's really just kind of neck and neck.

MARCUS PARKS

Well the way he figured it, and he actually wrote this in his book as a defense, if his fellow performers didn't get AIDS from him, they were likely to get it from somebody else.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That doesn't make any...

MARCUS PARKS

Well he figured if he had it then everybody had it.

ED LARSON

It's very nihilistic.

MARCUS PARKS

Yes.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

It's very selfish.

ED LARSON

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Well it's just fucking justifying your own actions. But incredibly, to the best of my knowledge, maybe you know different, nobody in the industry contracted HIV from John Holmes.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I don't know.

ED LARSON

Come on.

MARCUS PARKS

I mean nobody came forward at the very least.

ED LARSON

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No one came forward. No one has said that this was directly connected to it. But we don't know.

MARCUS PARKS

And he did have scenes with some, while he was positive, he had some scenes with Traci Lords.

ED LARSON

Really?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, very famous people. Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. Very, very famous people. Yeah.

ED LARSON

Man, that's so crazy. Now do you think he got it from the gay porn?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I mean I don't know.

ED LARSON

Do you think he got it from the straight porn?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Who knows?

MARCUS PARKS

Actually no one knows.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

No one knows.

MARCUS PARKS

It's kind of a mystery as to where he got it. But most likely yeah, the gay porn. The Private Life of John Holmes is probably where he got it.

ED LARSON

And we really think he was sober at this point too?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I mean...

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. I mean by all accounts he was pretty sober.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, his wife said he was fine. You know what I mean? At that point.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. But even more insane than that is the fact that the porn industry completely denied the cause of John's death from AIDS related complications when it finally happened in a VA hospital in 1988.

ED LARSON

See, it was such a dirty fucking business, they probably just disappeared you.

MARCUS PARKS

If you had HIV?

ED LARSON

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Or you walked away from it yourself. And they basically said get the living fuck out of here. It was a very cruel time for this.

ED LARSON

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. But as John was laying on that deathbed, he was visited one last time by Detective Lange because Lange was still trying to get Eddie Nash for the Wonderland Murders. See, Boober, Scott Thorson-

ED LARSON

Love that name.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Boober! Boober! Come here, Boober! It's again, pet.

ED LARSON

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

I mean he's a dog.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

He's a little dog that looks like Liberace.

ED LARSON

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Terrifying.

ED LARSON

Is he still around?

MARCUS PARKS

Scott Thorson? I believe... He has to be dead.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I don't know. I think he might still be alive.

ED LARSON

I feel like-

MARCUS PARKS

64 years young.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Wow!

ED LARSON

Yep, he's still doing it.

MARCUS PARKS

Yup.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

My dear Scott.

ED LARSON

God, he should go on tour! Well he doesn't know how to play the piano. Get one of those ghost pianos!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I can definitely identify a piano. That's a piano, that's a conga drum. Thanks, Scott.

MARCUS PARKS

Scott Thorson had made a deal with the police to testify in exchange for clemency on a drug charge. You'll remember Thorson was freebasing with Eddie Nash when Holmes was brought into Nash's house by his hair. And Thorson claimed that Eddie's bodyguard, Gregory Diles, was sent to the Wonderland house with John Holmes to get revenge. In this scenario, John probably covered the Wonderland Gang with the magnum while Gregory Diles beat them to death one by one. Or Diles met more of Nash's men at the scene. Either way, Diles and Holmes went to Wonderland together.

ED LARSON

Okay.

MARCUS PARKS

But of course John refused to get involved even at the end of his life. And he died a month after detective Lange's plea. Just before dying though, John made one last request to his wife.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Was it to get a priest to come and help me with my way to heaven?

MARCUS PARKS

No. It was not that. He asked her to view his naked body right before it was rolled into the cremation chamber just so she could make sure that nobody had cut off his dick.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

This is real.

MARCUS PARKS

And kept it for themselves.

ED LARSON

It sounds like it was about to fall off.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

Apparently, and this is corroborated by both Dawn and Sharon, John had a lifelong fear of someone cutting off his cock after his death as a keepsake, sideshow, or medical curiosity. Like they did with Rasputin's penis.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

They thought they did.

MARCUS PARKS

Well thought they did. Yeah.

ED LARSON

I was gonna say they should have gave it its own coffin.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah. That would be incredible. Its own tombstone! That was the only part of him that was successful. His penis was the only thing that worked in any way, shape, or form in his life.

MARCUS PARKS

It's the only thing that made people happy.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yep.

MARCUS PARKS

Everything else was awful. But nobody touched the thing. And after the cremation, John's ashes were scattered out over the ocean. As far as Eddie Nash went, he and Gregory Diles were both tried in 1988 for the Wonderland Murders based on Scott Thorson's testimony, just six months after John's death. Both men however were found not guilty, which technically makes the Wonderland Murders an open case to this day.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

That's one of the only cases we've ever covered that has a fucking... No, this is an unsolved case technically even though we kind of know what's going on.

MARCUS PARKS

Technically. We definitely know what happened.

ED LARSON

Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

But this whole fucking story is just so fucking... I'm so glad it's again, I'm so glad it's not me.

MARCUS PARKS

That's what the fucking, the detective, what is it, Lange. He said like yeah, people fucking always act like these Wonderland Murders, it's like some fucking big mystery like it's aliens or Bigfoot or some shit like that. We know who fucking did it. We know fucking did it! It was fucking Eddie Nash! He's so mad about it.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Actually I was looking at some of this evidence, what if it's the Loch Ness Monster? Get outta here, Detective Creepy!

ED LARSON

Imagine the size of Diles' gloves that he wore.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Oh yes. They were baseball mitts.

ED LARSON

Yeah, garbage pans.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Garbage pans. Well thank you so much, Eddie.

MARCUS PARKS

Thank you so much.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Thank you for doing this shit. Thank you guys so much for listening. This has been it, we did it. John Holmes and the Wonderland Murders. We're coming back next week with another fucking true crime series which we're super excited about.

MARCUS PARKS

More like historical true crime but like recent history. We're going back to the 70s for this shit. Can't fucking wait.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes.

MARCUS PARKS

This has been something that we've been waiting to do for a long time.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes.

ED LARSON

Hell yeah. Very excited for it.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Anything else?

ED LARSON

Murderfist show.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Right. Will you please come check out Murderfist? We are in Los Angeles, Dynasty Typewriter, September 22nd and 23rd. Right now I believe the 23rd has still got tickets.

ED LARSON

The 22nd has got tickets, the 23rd sold out.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Just check it out, Dynasty typewriter, Los Angeles. 20 years in the making.

ED LARSON

20 fucking years.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

You're gonna see a bunch of dudes that are not used to fucking slam dancing anymore doing that. Literally we have to all stretch and we gotta really take care of ourselves leading up to it.

ED LARSON

My poor knees.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yes.

ED LARSON

Yeah. You want me to do the worm.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I do.

ED LARSON

I don't think it's gonna happen but I might try it.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Come on.

MARCUS PARKS

I don't want you to.

ED LARSON

It is the last sketch maybe. So maybe even if I hurt myself, the show is over.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then we'll just call the show.

MARCUS PARKS

The show's over but life continues.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah but it's a dumb shadow of a life.

MARCUS PARKS

We still want you around. No Dogs In Space, Amon Düül II Part 2 is out this week. We continue on our series in experimental rock. We're gonna be talking about one of the fucking coolest, heaviest, hardest psychedelic albums ever put out, Yeti. Eddie, you gotta fucking listen to Yeti.

ED LARSON

Please.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah, you'll love it.

MARCUS PARKS

You're gonna love it. You're gonna love Yeti.

ED LARSON

I love all things YETI.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah.

ED LARSON

The coolers, the fucking everything.

MARCUS PARKS

And of course check out the No Dogs In Space livestream every other Monday on twitch. tv/lastpodcastnetwork.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

And check out all our new programming, we got it all over. We're gonna have stuff next week. Tears of a Clown is coming back, Good Pud, we're doing a bunch of stuff, we're really excited.

MARCUS PARKS

And of course The Brighter Side.

ED LARSON

The Brighter Side!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

ED LARSON

The Brighter Side, one of the greatest podcasts about positivity you'll ever fucking hear. It's better than Michelle Obama's fucking positivity podcast.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah. I like this.

ED LARSON

I'll tell you this, this bitch comes for my gig?! I'm the positivity podcast guy, Michelle Obama tries to step in my fucking ring!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

This is a good way to end.

ED LARSON

She's going down!

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I'm really happy.

MARCUS PARKS

This is perfect.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

I'm always glad we end with a good old fashioned anti Michelle Obama scream.

MARCUS PARKS

It's great.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Yeah.

MARCUS PARKS

It's great. All right.

ED LARSON

The Brighter Side with Amber Nelson. Please check it out.

MARCUS PARKS

Bye everybody.

ED LARSON

Bye!

MARCUS PARKS

Hail Gein?

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Hail Satan.

ED LARSON

Hail yourselves.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Hail me.

MARCUS PARKS

Thank you. Yeah.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Sure. Sure, wow, yeah. Sure, you can do it.

MARCUS PARKS

Yeah. I'd like you to.

HENRY ZEBROWSKI

Bye!

ED LARSON

Bye!